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Touya sat stiffly in one of the two chairs at the table, fidgeting slightly and glancing warily at his surroundings, unsure of whether to face his body towards the door to run away at the first sign of danger or sit perfectly still and ready to use his Quirk if something, somehow, happened.
The restaurant was small and crowded. Almost all the tables were occupied either by a family, a group of businessmen, or university students. Everyone was minding their own business; going over the menu, ordering, eating, or talking and laughing among themselves, but he couldn't bring himself to be at ease. Lost in thought, Touya tensed when the door opened and a group of loud high schoolers walked into the restaurant. Despite himself, Touya's body relaxed slightly and his eyes lingered on them and their uniforms as the group settled at an empty table.
If his life hadn't turned out to be so hellish, he could be wearing a uniform like them too, preferably one for a hero school like U.A. just like how he had been dreaming his entire life, instead of the sloppy hoodie and jeans he was wearing.
It was pathetically funny where those silly dreams and his desperation to earn back his father's recognition had taken him instead.
"This place isn't usually this crowded. I'm sorry if it's making you uneasy." A voice cut through his thoughts, bringing Touya back to reality.
Touya looked back at the woman before him as she gave him a small, apologetic smile, looking sincere. "It's fine," he replied after a few moments. "You didn't have to bring me here anyway."
"Maybe," she shrugged, still smiling kindly at him, "but I wanted to help you in a way. If not, it would've eaten away at me for the rest of the day."
"Why though?" He asked curiously, momentarily forgetting how on edge he was until a few minutes ago. "I was wondering about that. You are not a hero."
The woman tilted her head to the side, her bright eyes twinkling. "Ah… so must I be a hero to help someone?"
Touya had no idea how to reply to that and had never thought if there were people besides heroes who were willing to help others, so he chose to shrug at her in silence. Then something came to his mind.
"Was it out of pity then? I don't need you to be sorry for me," Touya said, an edge to his voice, frowning.
The woman simply seemed kind, but Touya had been deprived of kindness for a long time that he couldn't comprehend it.
"No. How can I pity you when I don't even know you?" She countered, raising her brows. It irked Touya slightly that she seemed to find their conversation amusing. "Don't think too much about it. I just want to help you this time that you ran into me."
She fell silent after that and Touya thought their conversation was over, but the woman spoke up again after a short time.
"You surprised me earlier; I haven't been mistaken for someone's mom until today."
Touya flushed with embarrassment, cursing himself in his mind for what had to be the umpteenth time that day for his stupid mistake. The woman was looking at him expectantly, and Touya found no point in refusing to speak. She must have guessed something close to the truth anyway.
"Your hair," Touya answered, his eyes moving to the woman's hair. It was longer than his mother's, but it shared the same color: white as snow, and that's what had compelled Touya to stupidly mistake her for his mother earlier that day. "My mom has the same hair color as you."
"I see," she said softly, glancing at Touya's hair. Touya had recently dyed it brown, but white strands of hair were still visible in some spots. It wasn't a good job, but Touya thought it was decent enough for someone who was doing this for the first time by following the instructions printed on the back of the box of the hair dye he had stolen from a shop.
Touya had decided to leave his family behind just like how they had left him in their past, to close his mind to the memories he shared with them, to push down any longing he still had for home, but it was easier said than done.
When he had caught sight of white hair in the crowd earlier that day, it felt like the world just came to a stop. Everything seemed to come to a halt as Touya stood still, his heart racing. Someone bumped into him with a curse and that was enough to bring him back to himself.
"Mom!" Touya called out, his body remembering how to move again as he elbowed a man away and ran to her.
He caught up to her, took her wrist as he called out her name again in a wobbly voice, and wished he could still cry because the rapidly-building pressure behind his eyes was getting too much, but that was the moment the woman turned her face to look down at him in surprise and meeting her green gaze suddenly cleared the fog in Touya's mind.
He let go of her hand quickly and stepped back with weak legs, feeling deeply awkward. "I'm sorry," he stammered. "I thought you were-- I just," he trailed off, looking away from the woman as he wished the ground would open up and swallow him.
He couldn't forget his family if he let every similar thing to them get to him like this. Touya should know better. He shouldn't forget what he witnessed again in his home after three years.
He was still trying to come to terms with what had happened to him; first burning alive and being unable to stop the flames, then waking up in that facility after three years of coma and realizing the horror of what was done to his body and then running back home just to have his last hope gone upon realizing how little his existence mattered.
His family never bothered to be there for him, so Touya thought he should repay their favor by letting go of them as well. Pushing away the lingering longing he still had for them wasn't as easy as he was hoping, but he should do better than this, Touya thought.
Besides, Touya doubted, even if it was his mother standing before him instead of that woman, that she would ever want to look at him again. The last time they talked, Touya hadn't told her good things and right now, his face and voice weren't what they used to be. Touya suddenly felt relieved that his mother wasn't there. Who knew how that could have gone?
"I'm sorry," he repeated, bowing slightly without meeting the woman's eyes and turning around to leave, but stopped in his tracks when the woman spoke.
"Wait."
Touya slightly tensed at the woman's request. With his Quirk ready to burst out at the sign of any upcoming trouble, he cautiously looked back at her.
The woman examined him for a brief moment before asking, "Are you hungry?"
Touya blinked at her, hearing her words, but unable to register them. He stared.
"Uh sorry that was so blunt," the woman laughed awkwardly. "I was going to have lunch… I can buy you food if you want as well," she said. "A meal isn't going to hurt anyone anyway, right?"
Touya frowned at her words, hesitating. He knew he was supposed to refuse; by now, he had spent enough time on the streets to know better than to trust anyone but himself, but the offer was tempting. Touya couldn't remember when the last time he had a proper meal was. It was probably three years ago before what happened to him at thirteen.
After a moment, Touya accepted her offer with a nod. "Fine, but I don't eat fish."
The woman smiled. "That's fine. I'm not very fond of fish either."
That's how he had ended up in a hole-in-the-wall restaurant with her, waiting for their order to be prepared.
To Touya's relief, the woman didn't say or ask him anything after that, busying herself with reading a book that she pulled out from her bag.
Soon, a waiter walked over to where they were and put two plates of food on the table. Touya couldn't stop himself from leaning closer to the table and inhaling after he left. The food smelled nice and the mere sight of it was enough to make his mouth water. Touya hadn't realized how hungry he was until that moment.
The woman poured water for him in a glass and pushed it towards him. "You should eat slowly. If not, you'll be dealing with a stomach ache later."
Touya nodded but quickly dug in despite the woman's warning. The food was still hot, burning his tongue and the roof of his mouth, but he didn't care as he swallowed and continued eating.
Silence fell over them, filled by the sound of their spoons scraping on their plates and the chatter of other customers. Touya had completely relaxed by then, savoring his food. He had cleaned half of his plate when he looked up at the woman to thank her, but then his gaze fell on her cheek.
Or rather on the livid bruise on her cheek.
Touya hadn't been able to spot it before when her hair was covering her face, but now that she had pushed it back behind her shoulder, it was visible, marring her skin.
The more Touya looked at it, the faster the warm and cozy feeling he was just having turned into something cold and heavy and nasty settling deep in his stomach. With it, came a memory to his mind, one that Touya didn't fight to push away.
"Touya, I told you to cut the carrots, not… whatever it is you're doing to them." Rei's tone was exasperated as she eyed Touya's poor attempt at cutting the carrots, shaking her head.
Touya rolled his eyes, dropping the knife with a clatter on the countertop and crossing his arms, "then do it yourself."
Rei let out a sigh beside him, but Touya couldn't bring himself to care as he glared at the carrots and the rest of the vegetables he was supposed to cut for the salad as if they had been offending him.
His mother had been trying to get him to help her in the kitchen lately, saying he should start learning to cook. Touya knew she was actually trying to make him busy to distract him from training, but he didn't call her out on it; he could always sneak out to train later anyway, even if he felt tired from doing some chores.
"Here," Rei said and rolled up the sleeves of her sweater. "I'll show you how it's done again."
Touya silently picked up the knife and handed it to her as Rei slid the cutting board toward her. She quickly and expertly began to cut the remaining carrots and explained to him how he should hold the knife and use it. Touya wasn't exactly paying attention to her, but then something caught his eye.
There, on the pale skin of his mother's forearm, a large bruise could be seen.
Unable to tear his gaze away from the sight, his stomach sank as his mother's words began to fade more and more until Touya could barely hear her.
He could guess how his mother got that bruise. Touya saw the whole thing happen two days ago when he was loitering around the training rooms in the hope that he could get a chance to talk to his father, but when the door opened, he saw him dragging his mother out by her forearm.
She was pleading with him to not train Shouto that day since he was sick, but Enji paid her no mind when he roughly shoved her, making her stumble and fall.
Touya had hidden around a corner, listening to his father's retreating footsteps and his mother's pleas that went unheard.
Touya knew his father was strong. He had always admired that about him, but seeing how his mere grip had bruised his mother's skin stirred up different and complicated feelings in him.
He didn't want to admit his family was broken, even if he was aware enough of what was going on, but ultimately, the truth couldn't be denied.
Rei must have noticed what he had been looking at because she quickly let go of the knife and pulled down the sleeves of her sweater.
Touya looked up at her as she gave him a small, awkward smile. "It's nothing, Touya. You don't need to be worried about it."
Touya had no idea what to do. His mind seemed to be blank when he tried to come up with something to say, but what could he say to her anyway? His mother and he weren't close, not like how they used to be before when she would patiently listen to him talk about what hero name he was going to choose and when he would come home from the garden with flowers for her. Those days were long gone. Was it even his place to comfort her? Shouldn't he at least try since he was her son after all? In that case, wasn't it expected of him to protect her? Touya knew what his father was doing was wrong, but standing up to him wouldn't earn him his acknowledgment the way he wanted.
He felt so lost and confused.
Rei put the knife down and ruffled his hair. "Anyway, let's conti--"
"You should talk to Dad."
Rei paused, pulling her hand back. "It's fine. It'll heal on its own, now--"
"Not about that," Touya interrupted her again impatiently, shaking his head. "About him training me. Tell him he should start training me again."
Rei took a deep breath and opened her mouth, but Touya didn't give her a chance to speak. "He'll listen to you if you talk to him, right? Tell him to give me a chance. Convince him somehow. I can prove to him that I'm not weak, not like before. I promise I won't let any of you down again," he gasped, his heart racing as he looked at her with new-found hope.
Rei pursed her lips together, her expression serious. "I don't think that's a good idea."
"Why don't you get it?" Touya almost yelled, desperate, stomping his foot down in frustration. "It's simple: if he trains me again, he'll see how fast I can improve then he won't go hard on Shouto anymore so you won't have to interfere and he doesn't have a reason to hurt you anymore."
Silence filled the space between them. Rei's stunned expression slowly turned into a sad and guilty one as she reached out to gently touch Touya's cheek with her cold hand. "Touya," her voice was gentle, sad. "Listen to me, please--"
But Touya didn't want to listen to her. He was tired of looking away from the shadows in their house, of watching his dad walk past him without a look, of not anyone bothering to understand him.
He felt restless, aware of his quirk coming to life beneath his skin, waiting to be set free. His eyes got filled with tears as he pushed his mother's hand away and turned to leave.
He didn't stop when she called out his name.
Touya felt nauseous when he brought himself out of his thoughts. No longer having an appetite, he pushed his plate away. The woman lifted her head and gave him a worried look. "Are you okay? Don't you want to eat anymore?"
Touya shook his head, trying to take deep breaths to compose himself. He needed to leave, to get away from all these people and empty his mind of his unwanted thoughts.
Touya braced his palms on the table and stood up, his legs almost shaking. He hesitated before he left, looking at the woman. "I owe you one."
"No, you don't. Don't worry about it, okay?"
Touya couldn't understand why she was willing to be kind to a stranger and help him out without wanting anything in return, but he supposed it wasn't his business or worth his time to wonder about it. He was just lucky to run into her, but it wasn't going to be like this all the time, or maybe ever.
He nodded at her and took only a few steps away from the table when the woman asked him to stop and pointed to his hair when Touya threw a glance back at her over his shoulder.
"If you want my opinion, I think black would be a better choice of color for you."
Without saying a word, Touya turned and left the restaurant.
Touya felt like a total creep for stalking the woman, but he had just rounded a corner when he gave in and walked back to wait somewhere for her until she left the restaurant. There was something he had to know, something that wouldn't leave him alone for a while if he didn't try to find an answer to it even if deep down, he had already made a guess.
They were in a poor neighborhood somewhere downtown when she entered an old, run-down apartment with crude graffiti on its walls. Touya stopped to eye one of them in mild disgust before quietly going after her and walking up the stairs.
He heard the sound of a door opening and closing on the next floor. Standing before the only door on the second floor, Touya realized he didn't have to press his ear to it to listen to what was going on on the other side; the walls were thin enough for him to hear two people talking: the woman and a man.
"Where were you?" A drunk man's voice slurred.
"At work," was the woman's curt answer. Her voice was cold, nothing like how she talked to Touya earlier.
"At work," the man mimicked her. Then his tone became irritated. "You're late. Where were you?"
A few seconds passed in silence. Touya counted the seconds in his head until the woman replied. "I went to grab some food somewhere."
"We're short on money and you waste what little we have?"
The woman raised her voice. "Well since it's my money, I--"
She was interrupted by the loud sound of glass shattering. Touya barely flinched at it.
"What's wrong with you? That almost hit me in the face."
They kept arguing after that, their voices loud and angry, but Touya didn't stay for longer. He stepped back and walked down the stairs.
The situation didn't faze him. He was just looking for an answer to a question that was already irrelevant to him. Now that he got what he wanted, what was expected of him was to move on and find a remote place to train his Quirk in. Yet, Touya stopped and turned his head to look back at the apartment.
He never felt like a hero, despite wanting to become one to make his father proud for so many years, never had done anything that could be considered heroic and that kind of life didn't suit him anymore considering what he had turned into and what he was already planning to do in the future.
However, he always did what he wanted in the end, and if he felt like he should do something about this situation, well...
Touya could easily excuse it by saying he didn't want to be in debt to anyone anyway.
Loitering in that neighborhood paid off a few nights later.
By now, Touya had seen the woman's husband once or twice. He was a bulky, scowling man with a strange tattoo on the side of his face, or maybe it had always been part of his skin due to the Quirk he may have. Touya didn't care enough to dwell on it.
It was past midnight when the man stumbled into an alley near his apartment, where Touya had been waiting for him with barely restricted anticipation.
He paused when he noticed Touya standing in the middle of the alley and not moving aside.
The man narrowed his beady eyes. "Who the fuck are you?" He asked, drunk but also alert.
"My name doesn't concern you. Not yet, at least," Touya said, pulling his hands out of his pockets. Fire was starting to roar in his blood veins. "You see, I've been training my Quirk for a while, but I don't know how strong it is. I can't feel much anymore but," he grinned. "You'll let me know if I've been training hard enough or not."
The man scoffed. "I don't have time for this, so I'll give you one chance to fuck off, freak."
Touya tilted his head to the side, still grinning. "Not happening. I have to pay off my debt somehow."
When it became clear to the man that Touya wasn't going to just leave, he cursed and rolled his shoulders back. Touya stood still, watching his every move.
Then the man sprinted towards him quickly and lifted his fist to punch him. Touya tried to dodge, but he wasn't fast enough, and his punch connected with the side of his head, making him stumble back. He gritted his teeth against the sudden sharp pain but refused to back off and charged at the man.
The man raised his hand again but was caught off guard when Touya physically ran into him and knocked him off balance, but as the man was falling, he grabbed hold of Touya's hair and pulled him down with him. Touya fell on his shoulder and only had a few seconds to register the pain blooming in his body before the man pinned him down by his throat.
"Who sent you?" The man spat, tightening his hold.
"Fuck you," Touya gasped out before he kicked the man hard in his stomach, but he didn't loosen his grip.
The man grinned in a way that made Touya's skin crawl, but a second later, he yelped when a searing pain shot up his hand and arm. He let go of Touya and scooted back, looking at the reddened skin of his palm as if he had touched something burning.
Touya coughed as he slowly got to his feet and walked toward the man. He made a move to stand up as well, but Touya moved his leg and an arc of fire appeared between them.
Surprised, the man instinctively held his hands up to his face.
Touya stepped closer to him. His Quirk was restless beneath his skin, trying to find a way out.
He didn't give the man any warning. Touya met his gaze for a moment, but before the man could move a muscle or open his mouth, Touya's palms pressed against his raised hands and he let his Quirk come to life.
Red and orange flames licked at the man's skin and he let out a loud scream.
He tried to move back further from Touya, but his back hit a wall. One of his legs kicked out and hit Touya in the side, but Touya didn't budge much as he focused more on increasing the heat of his flames.
The air in the alley was rapidly filled with the smell of flesh burning, but Touya, already used to that smell, barely reacted to it. His skin grafts would probably get blistered and burned by his flames, but he couldn't bring himself to care. It was bound to happen one way or another.
His flames went from red to green and burned blue. Touya managed to keep them like that for a few more seconds before they changed color back.
He let go of the man then and stepped back.
By now, the man's screams had turned into pitiful and weak whimpers, holding whatever little of his charred hands remained close to his chest. His eyes were filled with tears and wide with terror as he watched Touya look down at him.
"Don't worry," Touya taunted him. "I had it worse than you. You'll live."
For a second, Touya's mind pictured Endeavor instead of the man.
He pictured Endeavor surrounded by his flames, unable to run anywhere, unable to look at anyone but him as Touya dragged them both down to Hell.
For the first time in a long time, Touya felt pure joy. He threw his head back and laughed.
Touya's reflection looked back at him in the cracked, dirty mirror of the station restroom. He examined his face: the skin grafts slowly turning color from burning them by training his Quirk, his nose studs, and his recently-dyed hair.
Touya's now black and wet hair stuck to his forehead. He checked again to make sure no strands of white were visible.
Black seemed to be his color. Now, he only had to pick a new name for himself.
Dabi had a nice ring to it.