Archive of Our Own

Post tour Dew was hardly someone that most would willingly interact with. His body ached in a way that no amount of heat could melt away. There were days when his fingers would tense and lock in fists. When his neck and spine felt as though they would snap in two with even the slightest movement. Exhaustion seemed to hang around his shoulders like a wet blanket determined to trap him wherever he lay. All of this meant that his usually less than desirable personality was amplified to a level at which he could barely stand himself some days. 

He was, of course, no fool to think he was the only one who suffered upon returning to the Ministry. The first week after their return usually saw the den a rather tranquil place. The Ghouls would take the chance to sleep without interruption and metaphorically lick their wounds. Without the looming excitement and anxiety that rituals brought with them. Even Copia seemed to disappear for several days to do whatever it was that he did on his own. Once they all grew tired of sleeping, they would all disperse to their favorite activities. Mountain would spend days on end in the greenhouse. Rain would retreat to the lake, returning for dinner still dripping. Cirrus, Cumulus, and Sunny seemed to prefer basking in the sun when they could. And well… Swiss possessed the uncanny ability to sleep practically anywhere no matter what he’d been doing. 

Dew wasn’t entirely sure what made his body rebel so miserably that a few days of rest couldn’t contend with. He had an idea, of course. But it wasn’t something that he was willing to indulge in outside the privacy of his own quarters. Years ago, before the lake had become Rain’s safe haven, it had been his own. The remnants were still visible if he were to be caught without a shirt on. Long since silvered scars ran in twins along either side of his throat, wrists, and ribs where his gills and fins had once been. Pinched and awkwardly stretched in places that resembled having been melted if someone were to look too closely. He’d always been aware of something deep within him that still desperately yearned for the water. For the freedom to just swim until his body was too tired to move and he just floated along the current. 

But that had been a long time ago. 

Now, the only indulgence that he allowed himself was the tub that mostly collected dust in his bathroom. Which was exactly where he found himself that morning. Laying along the bottom of the basin with a good few inches of water over his head. Only rising from it when his lungs burned with a fury that rivaled the fire that now blazed in his gut. Examining his hands while he allowed his lungs the break that they begged for, Dew can hardly stop the disgust that rose in his throat like bile. He knew exactly why he’d given up his element, of course. It had seen him become one of the longest serving Ghouls that had been summoned. Mountain and Aether were right there with him. And yet, there was forever the stain of guilt that tainted everything. 

He could have been just as useful as a water Ghoul. 

A sigh leaves him knowing that it would have been impossible to keep his element and take the position that he had. There was more to the ritual than just enamoring the crowds with his skill on the guitar. He had a role that he was tasked with fulfilling. And he would do so to avoid being deemed useless to the cause. Lucifer only knows what would happen to him if it was decided that he was no longer useful. 

Then there was the far more selfish side of it all. Allowing The Clergy to make the decision to change his element had given them Rain. The once soft-spoken Ghoul that had easily become an opposing force during ritual and in their everyday lives. The downpour that rivaled his inferno. Yet sometimes an absolute hurricane that sparked every ember that dwelled in his chest. There were days when Dew would readily admit that he would be utterly lost without Rain. 

His thoughts are derailed by the muffled sound of someone knocking on the door in the other room. His hands drop to his sides in the water as he fights the urge to sink back under it with them. They would go away if he ignored them long enough. He wasn’t in the mood to leave his room. However, the knocking continued. Damnit all to Hell. 

“Go away!” He snarls out. They had only been home for a week, there was no way that any of them were under the impression that he was ready or willing to be social yet. After months of traveling with them without a break, it seems fairly obvious to him that he would want to just exist on his own for a while. Clearly, the others were of a different mind. Damn them. A low growl leaves him at the sound of the door opening and closing. Mountain appeared in the door not long after and leaned against the frame. 

“I tried to tell them that it was too soon to bother you.” 

“And yet, here you are doing just that.” 

“Well, I wanted to give you the option of coming out of your hole or staying. Since Ifrit is here and all.” 

Dew does his best not to bristle and growl at the sound of the other Ghoul's name. They had all been summoned at the same time. Earth, Water, Fire, and Quintessence. It had been the perfect summon. They had all bonded, quickly becoming pack and more. And then Ifrit had left them. The day that Terzo had been plucked off the stage and taken somewhere they weren’t told. Aether and Ifrit had tried to go after him. Tossing their guitars to the stage and rushing after the men that had grabbed Terzo. They’d learned fairly quickly that the Clergy controlled everything.

And when they were done with you, you were cast aside. 

That night Ifrit and Zypher had seemingly vanished. Logically, Dew had assumed that they had been sent back to The Pit. He assumed that they had likely pushed too hard in an attempt to find out what they had done with Terzo and Sister Imperator hadn’t taken it well. Then the whispers had started that they’d all been shipped off with Terzo somewhere else. Dew had tuned it all out after that. There had been bigger things breathing down his neck after their disappearance. 

“I’ll pass,” he grumbles before sinking deeper into the water. He was aware that he was behaving like a child. 

“Dew, it’s been years. You can’t still blame him for wanting to protect Terzo…” 

“Not blaming him for anything.” Had Dew been in the same position with Copia, he knew that he would do the same thing. They all would. Hell have mercy on the Clergy should they ever attempt to do anything to Copia. Mountain’s lanky form crossed the bathroom and crouches next to the tub, arms folded over the edge. His nose is suddenly filled with pine and patchouli as he lolls his head to the side to meet emerald eyes without hesitation. The taller Ghoul’s tail snakes over the edge of the tub and seeks Dew’s out under the water, twisting together once he does. 

“He’s not going away, wildfire. He’ll be here for a while.” There’s an air of pleading in the other’s voice. But Dew is not in the mood to give in, no matter who was asking him. They’d have had better luck sending Rain. Which still wouldn’t have worked. 

“Good thing I still have plenty of being antisocial left in me.” 

“Hopefully not too much. We all miss your pretty face.” The fingers that had been trailing through the water grip gently at his nose before Mountain is pushing himself up. Dew’s tail tightens around the other’s before he can get too far away.

“Why is he here?” 

“No idea. I doubt it’s to rejoin the project, flame.” 

A grunt leaves him before he releases Mountain’s tail and allows him to leave. Tucking the blunted claw of his thumb between his teeth, he worried at it. Something else to stress about. Why had Ifrit come back? 

── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⛧ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──

It takes a few more days before Dew ventures out of his room before midnight. The hood of his sweater tugged up over his head and the drawstring caught between his teeth. The light still being on in the kitchenette should have been a tip off that he was not the only one wandering about currently. Of course, it was late enough that most would be asleep or participating in extracurriculars. But none of them left the lights on, there was no need when you could see as clear as day in the dark. Rounding the corner sees him face to face with Ifrit. Lucifer really had it out for him. 

The other’s face lights up at the sight of him. Freckles almost reflected like embers under the gaudy fluorescent light. Whatever was in his hands is dropped as he skirts around the island between them and rushes towards him. Dew is quick to lift a hand hoping to stop the other in his tracks. 

“Don’t touch me,” growls out of him, tail flicking in annoyance. 

There’s the obvious wash of surprise that takes over Ifrit’s face, cocking his head like a puppy and dislodging a fiery red curl from its place around his horn. Clearly, everyone else had forgiven and forgotten. Though most of them had never met the Ghoul before him until he’d shown up like a stray. So Aether and Mountain had welcomed him with open arms. And now Ifrit was expecting the same from him. Ridiculous. 

“You —- are you still mad that I left?” Disbelief and confusion color the words making Dew’s blood boil within his veins. “Baby, that was years ago.” 

Another growl tears through his chest before he could stop it. “You don’t get to call me that anymore. You don’t get to call me anything.” 

“What’s going on?” The sound of Rain’s voice stops the snarl that was currently tugging at his lips. The gentle scent of sea salt clashed with the cardamom that wafted from Ifrit. Dew hated it. 

“Nothing,” he snaps out before carefully moving around Rain to escape the room. He’d completely forgotten what he’d even gone in there for at this point. It didn’t matter, he wasn’t feeling anything but anger now. As much as he longs to slam his bedroom door to get his point across further, he doesn’t. Waking the others wouldn’t do him any good. They’d brush it off as just another Dew temper tantrum. 

It doesn’t take all but five minutes before there’s a soft knock on his door. Rain’s voice called to him from behind it. Groaning into his hands, he pushes himself up and heads for it. Unable to ignore the water Ghoul. There’s a soft grin on the other’s face when the door finally opens. His hands filled with a plethora of different snacks that had clearly been the reason for the delay in following him. 

“Hi. Can — can I come in?” The fact that Rain still asked if he could do so never failed to amuse the elder Ghoul. No matter how many times Dew had told Rain that he didn’t have to do that.

“You know you can,” he grunts softly before moving out of the way. 

“I know. But the others can get pushy and I know you like your space, so I like to give you the option to say no.” 

Dew appreciated it. He did. Even if Rain didn’t need to do it. Shoving the door closed, Dew crosses the room to join the other on the bed. Dual colored eyes moved over the haul that the water Ghoul had brought with him. It was an amusing assortment that looked more like a human child had grabbed it. There was everything from sweets to fruit to a randomly grabbed bit of meat laid out between them. 

“I know you didn’t come out for dinner. So I figured that you were hungry…” 

A shrug pulls through Dew’s shoulders in an attempt to be nonchalant about the way that his stomach hurts currently. He’d been able to ignore it until he was face to face with food. “I could eat.” 

There’s a silence that falls over them as they both pick over the snacks between them. Dew can tell that Rain wants to ask about what happened in the kitchen. However, he wasn’t in a particularly generous mood at the moment which leaves the other stewing in his curiosity for a little longer than Dew would have normally allowed him to. 

“I can hear the seaweed in your head churning. Just spit it out.” 

There’s an affronted growl that leaves the other, tossing a strawberry at him and choking back the laugh as it bounces off Dew’s forehead. “Sorry… I just —- he was summoned when you were, wasn’t he?” 

“Yeah. So were Aether and Mountain.” It was common knowledge. He was sure that the other three had already been telling stories about their few months together. All of which Dew would vehemently deny whether it was true or not. 

“They all made it seem like things were — well like they are now.”

“They were. And then they killed Terzo or whatever they did to him. Ifrit and Zypher disappeared and now suddenly he’s back and wants to pretend that nothing happened.” 

Dew wasn’t known for forgiving and forgetting. It took a great deal for him to forgive and he never forgot. Second chances were not something that he gave out like they were nothing. And Ifrit wanted one without even earning forgiveness first. 

“What do you mean they disappeared?” 

“Terzo was dragged off stage at a ritual. Two humans came up, grabbed him, and carried him off. It was the last ritual of the tour. They never came back to the hotel. They never got back on the bus. And when we got back to the Ministry it was like they’d never been here. We assumed they put up a fight and were banished. But then the whispers started, that they’d just — gone somewhere else with Terzo. I had bigger things to worry about than them…” 

Which when put like that makes him sound like more of an asshole than he is. But it was the truth. It was rare for a Ghoul to survive an element shift. Hell, he’d almost not survived it. Ifrit had no idea what he’d put him through and clearly didn’t care. Of course, Dew was intelligent enough to know that if they had just been shipped off somewhere with Terzo that they’d have been warned off contact. But there were other ways. Ways that the Clergy would never be able to stop or even begin to understand. Yet, Ifrit had never bothered. 

“That’s… that’s why you became a fire Ghoul. Isn’t it?” 

“And why you were summoned to join the project.”

“Well…” Rain starts as his tail twists about Dew’s own. “I can’t argue that I’m super upset about being summoned.” 

“Idiot,” Dew snorts before dodging another strawberry that’s launched at him. “You stayin’ the night or is that moron waiting for you to come back?” 

Rain rolls his eyes at him. “Swiss,” he corrects, “Has been dead asleep for hours. He probably doesn’t even know I left. So, you better not hog the bed.” 

“It’s my bed!” 

The argument dissolves from there. Tossing food at each other until they are all out wrestling like imps, it would be a sight for anyone to have walked in on. Yet, they find themselves settled into the bed before too long. Agreeing to clean up the mess that they’d made in the morning. 

Quickly, this becomes Dew’s new norm. Slowly integrating himself back into the pack one Ghoul at a time. He spends most of his nights caught between Rain and Swiss, waking up in a tangled knot of limbs and unsure which are his own. Sometimes the others beat them to his room. Dew is convinced that once the others realized that he was allowing Rain and Swiss into his room that they were battling to see who would be next. He doesn’t see the allure. He wasn’t cuddly or sweet like Rain when he was tired. He was just… Dew. A prickly little shit that was easily overwhelmed and quick to anger. Why anyone would fight to spend time with him was insane. 

But he doesn’t fight it. It was sort of nice to see them without the pressure to interact with Ifrit. 

It’s almost two weeks before he ventures out of his room again, cursing himself for not realizing that it was even earlier still. Likely around dinner which meant that he would end up being begged to sit with them all and he would give in. He could easily turn around and slip back into his room, but whatever was being cooked smelled better than anything he’d smelled in a long time. Cumulus notices him first and knowing better than to make a scene, she just curls an arm around his middle and presses a kiss to his cheek. 

“I missed you, firefly,” she purrs into the joint of his jaw. A halfheartedly purred hum leaves him in return as he runs his nose along her own jawline. She’s the only one that gets away with bombarding him with affection. Shoving his hands into the pocket of his sweater, he worms his way between Swiss and Rain. Using them as buffers to keep the others at bay. Swiss’ tail quickly snakes about his own without breaking the conversation that he was currently in with Cirrus. The cool slide of Rain’s tail braiding itself into the mix had Dew leaning into his shoulder and watching as he scrolls through whatever app he was on. 

“Come on. Dinners done,” Ifrit calls as he pokes his head out of the kitchen. Of course, he was the one cooking tonight. Dew regrets every decision that brought him out of his room. 

“You can sit between us, Dewbug,” Swiss offers clearly feeling the way that he’d tensed up at the sound of Ifrit’s voice alone. He doesn’t confirm or refuse, just stands with the rest of them and moves awkwardly to the table that had been laid out for them. It wasn’t particularly easy to walk with your tail twisted about with two others but they managed it, only untwining them for a moment to sit before curling together again. Dew had long since come to terms with the fact that Rain and Swiss came as a set. He spent his fair share of time with one or the other. But there was something about spending time with them together that had the ice that had stubbornly formed around his heart dripping. 

Meeting the violet eyes that stared at him from across the table was almost enough to have that ice hardening once more. For years now it had been Rain and Swiss with him and Aether. Yet it had been weeks since Aether had even spoken to him. Rain’s hand curling over his thigh reminds him to breathe once more, breaking the connection between himself and Aether. Praying to Lucifer that Aether hadn’t used his infernal gift to try and pick apart where his head was at currently. If the scene that plays out when Ifrit brings something to the table is anything to go by, Dew highly doubts it. The Fire Ghoul drops into the seat next to Aether, who has a dopey grin on his lips. There’s something said between the two of them that has the Ghoulettes snickering but Dew blessedly tunes out. 

That explained a lot. 

Dew isn’t hungry after all that, but there’s no way to make an escape now without being questioned or followed. Instead of eating, he just pushes his food around only taking bites when he can feel someone's eyes on him. He’s too focused on keeping his emotions in check well enough that the entire table isn’t tipped off that he’s spiraling. Of course, Aether is starstruck by Ifrit. He was tall. His hair was bright fiery red that rivaled the lipstick Cumulus loved to wear. Freckles that glittered like embers of a dying fire speckled his entire body. He was easy to talk to. Dew was sure that there was far more than that, but he was desperately trying not to think about how he is exactly none of those things. 

He was a prick more often than not. He didn’t like being touched unless he wanted to be touched. Affection wasn’t his strong suit. The idea of saying half of the sweet nothing that the others whispered to each other made his skin crawl. 

A much larger hand gripping his thigh breaks him from his thoughts. The telltale tingle of what bit of Quintessence that Swiss possessed spread along his skin as he calmed visibly. “You gotta breathe, babe.” 

Had anyone else said those words he would have snarled, yet he just nods at the instruction and forces himself to remember how to do that. Rain is waving Swiss off suddenly though not unkindly, in a ridiculous shooing motion. Had Dew been in his right mind he was sure that he would have laughed at the antics. In a smooth movement, Rain pushes himself up before pulling Dew to his feet as well. 

“Where are you two off to?” Cumulus questioned softly. Not wanting to push too hard given the fact that Dew hadn’t looked any of them in the eye in a solid hour. 

“Dew promised me a well heated bath,” Rain offers easily. As if he’d been plotting this the entire dinner. Maybe he had been. That did sound like a very Rain thing to do. A backup plan was always good. It would be entirely too much to assume that Swiss and Rain had discussed getaway plans — though something in Dew hoped that they had. He was never a good judge of when he should stop. Forever pushing himself to the absolute end of his limits before dropping. 

It’s a silent walk back to the Water Ghoul’s quarters. The entire room is a tangled mess of Rain and Swiss, both scents blanketing him the moment he’s through the door. His feet stop on their own accord causing Rain to stumble slightly as he continued to move. Eyes like sapphires are trained on him in a second, attempting to figure out what was going on without asking. 

“Thanks,” he mumbles while making no move to continue into the room or release Rain’s hand. 

“Course. I don’t know what’s going on and you don’t have to tell me, but you looked like you needed to get out so… I got you out.” 

“Just, uh… not ready to socialize yet, I guess.” It was a lie, of course. Dew hated lying to Rain, but it was a necessary one at the moment. It would worry the other the least. Or at least he hopes that it will. Rain easily closes the distance between them, bumping their noses together with a soft reassuring grin. 

“Well, as much as I know it won’t help. I think we all loved having you back at dinner. Even if you didn’t eat anything or speak to anyone.” 

“Doubt it was all…” The words leave him before he can stop them in a stubborn mumble. He knows that he shouldn’t have said anything. The entire idea had been to attempt to convince Rain that he was okay, or at least that he would be. Not spark an entirely new worry for the other. He doesn’t have to look up to know that it was too late. Concern begins to tinge the edges of Rain’s scent. 

“Dew,” his name almost sounds like a plea coming from the ever so slightly taller Ghoul. 

“It’s fine. I’m fine, I swear. It’s —- “ A sigh sounds from him. “It’s fucking fine, Rain. I swear.” 

“Who are you trying to convince, droplet?” Rain’s voice is soft, but there’s a teasing edge to it that Dew appreciates. Knowing that the conversation can easily end there if he wanted it to. And Satanas he did. 

“Can we just —- can we just have a bath and then fuck or something?” 

There’s a soft laugh from Rain at the utter bluntness of the request. But still, he obliges. Pressing a kiss that lands on the opposite side of innocent to his lips and moving them to the bathroom. Dew doesn’t remember when Swiss had joined them, somewhere near the end of their bath but before they found themselves in bed. It didn’t really matter. The only evidence that Dew needed in the aftermath of it all were the finger shaped bruises, claw marks, and bites that were left behind to be satisfied that it happened. 

── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⛧ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──

Every damned time he leaves his room he’s greeted by some unholy scene. Whether it be Ifrit being entirely too chummy with his pack. Or Aether attempting to approach him with that Hell forsaken look on his face that meant someone had said something to him to worry him. Dew was sick of it. He hadn’t ventured out of his room in days since the last incident. He’d just wanted water that wasn’t from the fucking tap in the bathroom. The second that he entered the kitchen there they had been, standing there as if they were damned fixtures in it. Dew could see the lazy link of their tails and regretted even remotely desiring a bottle of water. 

He’d pretended not to hear them as they’d greeted him. The shocked look on their features was enough to have his skin heating until it had almost been pointless to indulge in cold water. Forcing himself to breathe through his mouth, lest smoke billow from his nose, he only spared them a glare before returning to his room. 

This time, however, it was just Aether pacing the kitchen length as if he’d been waiting. The idea that this was how the taller Ghoul had spent his nights gave Dew a sliver of satisfaction. It was hardly a fair comparison that Aether might lose a few hours of sleep doing whatever this was to the shattered glass that rattled around in Dew’s chest. But it was a start. 

“You wear a hole in the tile, Cumulus will be pissed.” The words are snarked and frosted around the edges. If Aether was going to shut him out, two could play that game and Dew could promise that he was better at it. The walls had already been built. All of the locks changed and everyone but Aether held the keys. The corner of his lip twitches in a fight to smirk as Aether jumps. 

“Dew. Hi.” 

A brow arches at the lame greeting, only offering a two finger salute in return. He’s not in the mood to try and decipher what Aether was trying to accomplish at the moment. Instead, he just heads for the pantry to find something that he could take back to his room. Rain had brought him dinner earlier, but what was a movie without a snack. 

“How —- how are you?” 

Lucifer help him. Not the awkward small talk bullshit. 

“Peachy,” he muses looking over the plethora of snacks. Deciding that he’d probably steal something from Swiss and make up for it later. There’s a defeated sigh from behind him and he can hear Aether run his hand through his hair. The chain around his wrist shifted in a telltale movement. He was so damn predictable. 

“Can you, I don’t know, just tell me what I’ve done wrong?”

Oh, he was so going to kick Swiss and Rain’s asses. There was no way that Aether suddenly cared about what was going on without some nudging in the right direction. Clearly, Rain had made some, albeit correct, assumptions and decided with Swiss to drop hints. Lucifer, he loved the water Ghoul but he also hated how perceptive he was. 

“Nothing,” he shrugs. It wasn’t as though he was lying. Aether had done nothing. Which had in turn told Dew everything. Of course, Dew wasn’t stupid enough to think that they had been exclusive. No, there wasn’t a single Ghoul in the den that was exclusive. That was the beauty of what they had cultivated. There were outlets for every desire at any given moment as long as you were willing to ask. However, there were of course those that fell into bed together more often than not. Swiss and Rain. The Ghoulettes. 

Dew and Aether.

The first few days home from tour made sense. Dew forever refused to let anyone into his room when they first arrived back from any tour. This one had been no different. Yet there had been no Aether forcing his way into his room after a week and a half of silence. There had been no nightly visits whether Dew wanted them or not. Not a moment of Aether coaxing him back into the day to day pack dynamics. Perhaps it was his own stupidity that had carved a rift between them that rivaled The Pit in size. Stupidity that had convinced him that while they were anything but monogamous that the last few years were what the rest would look like. 

A hand grips at his elbow and snaps him back to reality. The amber of his iris slowly devoured the blue that remained as his irritation rose. He could feel the all too familiar tingle of Aether’s gift seeking out the answers that Dew was unwilling to put a voice to. Unfortunately for Aether, he’d become incredibly skilled at avoiding the invasive skill. Tugging his elbow from the other’s grip he puts a foot or two between them once more. 

“Find what you were looking for?” 

“What… what happened?” Aether doesn’t need to elaborate.

“Nothing.” 

Aether’s jaw snaps shut silencing whatever else he was going to say as the fridge behind them closes. Mountain stood watching them with a bottle of water in his hand. A brow arched as green meet near glowing amber beyond Aether’s shoulder. Dew nods at the silent question of if he was okay. Using the distraction to move past the taller Ghoul and make his escape. His tail twists together with the Earth Ghoul’s, a wicked smirk playing on his lips. 

“Come watch a movie with me.” 

There is definitely a movie that plays in the background, however, neither Mountain nor Dew is paying attention to it. And if he has to spend a good hour scrubbing smeared bloody hand prints from the wall the next morning, Dew thinks it was worth it. 

── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⛧ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──

Dew is utterly convinced that Lucifer has decided to punish him to an inexplicably high degree. What else would explain constantly running into the two beings that he wanted absolutely nothing to do with? He couldn’t even breathe without catching one of their scents. It was fucking ridiculous. 

He really just needed to stop assuming that it was ever safe to leave his room. There was no hour of the day that he wasn’t at risk of running into Aether or Ifrit or both of them. And neither of them seemed to be able to pick up on the hint that he didn’t want to talk to them. Forever attempting to drag him into some unwanted conversation. Fortunately, when the others were awake they would go out of their way to save him from being cornered. Though Dew wasn’t so sure that it was to save him or to save the other two from his claws and flame. 

Tonight, however, there is no one to save him. And nothing to save him from. Neither Aether nor Ifrit is paying attention to anything going on around them. Dew only sets one foot into the common room that served as their living room before freezing. His body refuses to move for entirely too fucking long before he manages to drag himself back out. The sight and sounds of Aether and Ifrit fucking on the couch that he will absolutely never sit on ever again burned into his mind. Of course, Dew could put two and two together and had assumed that this was exactly what was going on. But having to witness it was another story entirely. 

If he had thought that his ribs had been filled with broken glass before, he was sure that holy water and salt had replaced the blood in his veins now. He’d been a fool to think that confirmation would make the last few bricks in his walls easier. For assuming that anger would replace anything that he had felt for Aether. Instead of anything that he could use as fuel, Dew just felt numb. As though he’d laid along the bottom of the lake for too long. There was no longer pettiness and anger shoving him into antisocial tendencies. Just a horrific empty feeling that left him moving back to his room in a daze. 

Time passes in an odd way for the Ghoul. Being underground hardly helps him understand whether the sun or moon were hung high in the sky. Dew spends his time laying in bed or at the bottom of his tub letting the water go cold before he bothers to get out. Even the water wasn’t helping anymore. Aether had been a constant in his life for over five years. And perhaps it was his own doing at the end of the day. Being too disagreeable. Not offering enough affection. He should have been better. 

Logically Dew knows that these things just happen. That sometimes someone comes along and there is no choice. Ghouls may be little more than infernal creatures that some would say don’t deserve the air in their lungs — love hardly had preferences for its victims. 

Days have to have passed at this point. There had been a plethora of knocks on his door, a myriad of voices have attempted to call to him through the thick wood. Swiss had threatened to kick the door down. Rain had valiantly tried to pick the lock that he had melted shut. Mountain had gotten the closest in trying to get him to open the door. Yet, he’d just laid in bed and listened to them knock and talk to him. He didn’t have the energy to feel guilty about essentially leaving them in the dark. He knows that they have been leaving food at the door. Bottles of water. The odd cup of coffee. 

Even Copia knocks at the door at some point. That is the point when Dew knows that he’s doing more harm than good. Not only to himself but to the others. They shouldn’t have to worry about him because he can’t handle what amounts to a broken heart. What a pathetic thing to be upset about. There’s no telling what time it is when he exits his room. The den seems to be silent, hopefully, it wasn’t too late at night. Barefeet carry him to his first destination yet his hand pauses before it can knock against the surface of the door. He’d put so much on Rain and Swiss, there was no way that he could add to it all. He should just go to his room and not burden any of them. 

But he knows that they’ll worry no matter what. 

Which brings him to his second destination. Knuckles tap against the door before he can second guess himself. A part of him prayed that the occupant of the room won't hear him and he’ll be able to say that he tried before returning to his room. Unfortunately for him, Cirrus appears before him confusion quickly switching to concern at the sight of him. 

“Dew? Baby…” Her hands are pressed to his face before he can say anything. “Oh, my little flame. Come on let us take care of you for a little bit.” He shouldn’t be surprised that Cumulus and Sunny are also occupying the room. The Ghoulettes were a united force that was not to be trifled with. Warriors of a terrifying caliber. He’s herded into the room and urged to sit on the bed where Sunshine curls herself around him without hesitation. Cumulus’ fingers instantly thread into his hair, frowning at the knots that she finds. 

“This isn’t just post ritual decompression, is it, firefly?” She hums lowly. Shaking his head nearly imperceptibly, he doesn’t trust himself to speak. “Cirr, baby, can you bring me a brush and some detangler?” 

They don’t waste any time setting about taking care of him. It was an odd dichotomy between the Ghoulettes and the other three. An odd display of how they all showed each other love. Rain, Swiss, and Mountain were tactile; bites, touching constantly and, of course, fucking. Where Cirrus, Sunny, and Cumulus were, albeit just as tactile, they also sprinkled in some doting. 

Come morning, Dew finds himself in a neat pile with the girls. His head on Cumulus’ stomach with Cirrus behind him. Sunny using him as a makeshift pillow that couldn’t be comfortable at all. He wasn’t really built for comfort, all skin and bones. Brushing his fingers through Sunshine’s hair, he knows that he won't be going anywhere anytime soon. And maybe that was for the best. He couldn’t deny that he felt a little bit better after spending time with the Ghoulettes. Enough so that when they finally wake, he allows them to herd him out of the room and to the kitchen. 

Rain is out of his seat the moment that they round the corner, wrapping his arms tightly about his middle and burying his nose into his throat. Dew feels endlessly guilty for upsetting the water Ghoul, burying his nose into Rain’s shoulder and trilling a soft apology. A larger body curls over his back, Swiss’ scent mixing with Rain’s as neither makes an attempt to move. There’s something utterly comforting about being covered in almost the entire pack’s scent. It’s no cure for what he was feeling, he knows, but this was helping in the small way that it could. 

In the end, it’s a testament to whatever was going on in Dew’s head that such blatant and lingering affection wasn’t met with halfhearted growling and near playful biting. Instead, he just allows himself to be held by Rain and Swiss for a good long time before being gathered into Mountain’s arms the moment that they release him. Mountain was entirely too tall to comfortably, for either of them, bury their noses in each other’s throats. So Mountain settles for the top of Dew’s head and Dew makes do with the other’s chest. 

“What’s going on?” 

Instantly Dew’s hackles rise at the sound of Aether’s voice. Mountain’s grip on him tightens before he brushes his fingers along the side of his arm in order to assure the taller that he could let go. He couldn’t avoid Aether forever. They would have to go back on tour at some point and Copia wouldn’t want to deal with this on the bus. There’s an awkward tension in the room as he steps away from Mountain and steels himself to face Aether. 

“D–Dew? Are you okay?” Concern wafts from the other as he fights to move forward or not. 

A shrug pulls through his shoulders. “Maybe.” 

“Maybe?” 

This was not a conversation that he wanted to have with everyone else in the room. Yet, he knows that it will never happen without someone forcing him to. Mountain was a powerfully grounding force at his back. Aether looked rightfully confused. It wasn’t often that Dew allowed himself to be touched so freely. Least of all after disappearing for nearly a week as Cumulus had informed him. 

“What do you mean maybe?” Aether urges. 

“I don’t know. But if I’m not… I will be.” 

That doesn’t seem to clear anything up for the other, Dew can see the frustration rising in Aether’s features. But he didn’t owe the other anything. Clearly, Aether hadn’t thought that he was worth discussing things with. Why would Dew go out of his way to explain himself? 

“Baby, please. Just tell me what’s going on?” 

A bitter sounding laugh leaves him at the endearment in a kneejerk reaction. It’s been nearly three months of dancing around each other. Three months of constructing walls and shoving every emotion that he’d ever felt about the taller Ghoul into boxes never to be felt again. And now Aether wanted to act as though everything was okay? Not a chance. 

“Don’t bother with that shit. You don’t get to call me that anymore.” Dew can see the others exchange glances. Clearly, he’d just confirmed what they all had suspected was going on. Well, at least they would know that he was as pathetic as he felt. He was hundreds of years old and he was acting like a damned imp who’d just had their heart broken for the first time. There was no other word for it than pathetic. 

Rain steps closer to him, fingers brushing against the inside of his wrist. Glancing at the water Ghoul, he just shakes his head. There was no way around this conversation. Not when neither he nor Aether were going anywhere. Rain stares at him for a long moment before nodding and hooking his head toward the doorway to get the rest of them to clear out. Swiss and Mountain are the last to leave, both of them taking the time to press a soft kiss to his temple before disappearing around the corner. 

“Okay, what the fuck is going on?” 

“I could ask you the same shit.” 

A growl leaves Aether, frustration easily slipping into irritation. “What the fuck is your problem?” 

“Do you want an alphabetical list?” 

“Can you be serious for a damned second? You’ve completely shut me out for no reason!” 

“I’ve cut you out? How long did it take you to realize that we hadn’t even spoken since we got home? How long did it take you to stop caring that we hadn’t?” 

The look that crosses Aether’s features would have likely brought a smirk to his lips a few weeks ago. But currently, it doesn’t incite any sort of feeling in his chest. Which solidifies everything in the worst of ways for him. 

“You think I don’t care that we’ve barely seen each other? That we haven’t talked? Dew, I’ve been doing everything to try to spend time with you!” 

“When?” Dew laughs cruelly. 

“Do you want an alphabetical list?” 

And just like that, Dew thoroughly regrets trying to give Aether the chance to explain himself. To maybe explain himself. Clearly, they were far too gone for anything to be smoothed over by talking. Disbelief leaves him in the form of a laugh before he makes his move to leave the room. He doesn’t get far before Aether is grabbing him and pressing a seeking kiss to his lips. Too warm hands press and shove against the other’s chest putting as much distance between them as possible. 

“Don’t fucking touch me!” Sharp teeth are bared in a cruel snarl and ears are tight against the sides of his head. A low rumbling growl vibrating through his chest in a clear warning. 

“Dew please…” 

His body moves before his mind catches up the second that Aether moves toward him, launching himself at the other and taking them both to the ground. Hissed insults leave him as claws dig into his chest. Aether’s own claws grip at his arms in an attempt to pry him off. Dew lets him have everything that he so clearly wants. Snarling about how it was clear that the last five years had meant fuck all. How Aether couldn’t even respect him enough to tell him what was going on. 

An arm suddenly curls around his waist, tugging him off the other Ghoul. Mountain helps Aether off the floor but makes no move to remove himself from between them. Neither does Swiss give off the impression that he was going to let go of his middle, keeping him from launching himself at Aether once more. 

“Fuck you, Aether! I loved you,” he growls. Voice wrecked from his previous hissing and snarling. “And I was a fucking idiot who thought you loved me too!” 

“I do love you!” 

“Do you!? Before or after that fucking bastard fucks you senseless?!” 

There’s a blank look that crosses Aether’s features, though the shock is more than evident in his scent. What a laughable reaction. “What?” 

“I’m not a fucking idiot. It’s been three months, Aether. And you fucking reek of him. So you can go fuck yourself or him. I don’t care anymore. Clearly, you haven’t cared in months.” 

Silence falls over the room that was now filled with the entire pack. Ifrit included. Aether was just staring at him now. Dew hated all of this. Hated that they were all witnesses to his breakdown. As much as he trusted all of them, he couldn’t bare the thought of them thinking that he was the unreasonable one in this situation. He’d just wanted to be respected enough to have been told. Not left to find out on his own because they didn’t care enough to even fuck behind closed doors. 

Prying Swiss’ grip from his waist, he pushes through them to get out of the room. There’s a scuffle behind him that he doesn’t stick around to see. There was a fifty/fifty chance that someone was following him or they’d all moved to stop Aether from following him. Even then he’s not alone long. Rain and Cirrus push their way through his door, gathering him up and trapping him between them. It doesn’t take long for the anger blazing in his chest to give way to a torrential downpour of tears. Melting into their hold. 

── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⛧ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──

Dew doesn’t remember falling asleep. He doesn’t remember the others joining them in a puddle on the floor. Guilt sours his scent almost instantly as he realizes that the consequences of this won't just affect him this time. He’d thoroughly destroyed whatever might have remained of his tie to Aether. Spoiled nearly five years of the only thing that had kept him alive some days. For what? 

Untangling himself from the pile of limbs, he’s sure that he wakes everyone on the floor. He only just manages to lock the bathroom door before curling himself over the toilet and emptying nothing but stomach acid and bile into it. 

“Dew?” Rain’s voice cuts through the door as he pounds on the door. 

“I’m fine…” he mutters, unsure if the other can hear him. 

“I — I’m gonna go get you some food and water, okay?” 

He can hear that Rain doesn’t believe him. “Okay…” 

The last thing that he wants is food, but he knows better than to argue against it. He would just have to do his best to eat it. Satanas knows that they were all too worried about him as it was. Dew knew that he was independent to a fault. That he pushed himself too hard and bottled up too much. Yet, this whole situation had just solidified why in his mind. He’d let Aether in. Allowed himself to fall in love with him. And still, it hadn’t been enough for Aether to stay. To choose him. 

He was a Hell forsaken fool. 

Taking the time to brush his teeth and suffer through a cold shower, Dew has little to no idea what to do with himself. The only real option is to carry on. Practice would pick up again soon. Another tour after that. There were albums to be released and just too many things to do. It would take some time to sweep the pieces of himself behind the walls again, but he would manage. He had before. 

“We have to figure out how to tell Dew…” Cumulus’ voice reaches his ears as he draws closer to the common room. Instantly, Dew feels as though his stomach has dropped to his feet and his heart has all but stopped. 

“Tell Dew what…” he mutters from the doorway. Six pairs of eyes are suddenly trained on him, widen and momentarily scared before turning disgustingly sympathetic. 

“Baby, why don’t you come sit with us?” Cirrus has her best pack mom voice on, attempting to take control of the situation that was quickly spiraling out of hand. 

“Just tell me. I’m not an imp. I can handle whatever it is.”

“Aether left the project,” Mountain offers. 

“Okay.” 

It’s all that Dew has to offer. He knew that there would be consequences for what had happened the night before. Knew that he would hate whatever happened from then on. Whether it had been watching Aether and Ifrit be happily mated or — well one of them leaving. Dew had expected to be banished. It wasn’t as though replacing him would have been difficult. Ifrit had been right there. It would have made Aether happy and it would have been fairly seamless in the end. Yet, Aether had left. 

Aether had left because of him. 

Aether had left him.

The fire Ghoul turns to leave once more, stopping at the sound of his name being called. Turning his head, he finds Rain standing and watching him. Dew hated the look that played along the water Ghoul’s features. The same look that was painted across all of their faces. Pity. 

“A–are you okay?” 

He doesn’t say anything, which he knows is telling enough. He was loud, he was obnoxious. And yet it had been months since he and Swiss had bullied each other. Longer since he and Mountain had badly sung whatever song was popular to annoy the others. A nod robotically pulls through his shoulders before he heads back down the hall ignoring the way that his name was called after him once more. 

Dew knew that they cared. Knew that they would all be there for him if he needed them to be. But he also knew that they would, at least for the moment, respect that he needed a moment alone to come to terms with the fact that he had lost one of the few stable things in his life. His door shuts almost too softly behind him. It pisses him off. Perhaps it was just that being pissed off was comforting. It was something that he knew intimately. And suddenly everything is bursting out of him in the violent storm. Even after months, there is a lingering scent of Aether engrained in everything that he owed. His claws elongate until his fingers are bleeding with the force they extended. Tearing everything that he owned to pieces without remorse or discretion. Clothes. Mattress. Pillows. Random belongings until everything was strewn about in an unrecognizable mess around him. 

It wasn’t enough. It hadn’t soothed the ache that had formed in his chest. Little else was safe once there was nothing soft and forgiving to destroy. Lamps. Furniture. Anything that he could get his hands on falls victim to his anger. Until there is nothing left but his own reflection panting and drooling around extended fangs. Looking every bit the monster that he was. Without thought his fist slams into the mirror, shards slicing through the delicate flesh of his hand and staining the debris around him red. 

Dropping to his knees an utterly anguished scream leaves him until his throat is raw and copper makes itself known along his tongue. The sound of the others attempting to break his door down falling on deaf ears.