Work Text:
The first week of summer vacation had ended too quickly. Sirius's heart was anxious and sad, taking deep breaths whenever his thoughts wandered to the near future, where he would be back at Hogwarts. The castle was his home, but he wasn't ready to say goodbye to the Lupin family and the secure companionship that had been built during those first seven days.
The Potters were in India, enjoying a family vacation. Although the invitation had been extended to the other three Marauders, they politely declined. Remus's house seemed better than Peter's, who didn't mind much.
Now Sirius was lying on the Lupin family's living room couch after a hot shower. Dinner had passed in a blur, where all he could remember was his friend's joyful face. Remus's smile and eyes were everywhere for a long time, the sound of his laughter echoing around him throughout the day, making him want to close his eyes and relive it all over again.
"Here, I brought you another blanket."
Sirius smiled as he felt the other boy lovingly cover him. His heart was completely at ease in that place, far away from his family.
"Thank you."
It's been a long, long time
Since I've memorized your face
It's been four hours now
Since I've wandered through your place
And when I sleep on your couch
I feel very safe
And when you bring the blankets
I cover up my face
Remus smiled at him, and all Sirius could do was cover his own face. After exchanging goodnight wishes, Sirius heard the soft steps of his friend making their way to his parents' room for the nightly ritual of kissing his mother goodnight and saying goodnight to his father. A few minutes passed before some chords were heard, and a calm melody came to life. Remus was dedicated to learning how to play that Muggle instrument, and Sirius was fascinated and proud of how hardworking his friend was.
And when you play guitar
I listen to the strings buzz
The metal vibrates underneath your fingers
And when you crochet
I feel mesmerized and proud
Sirius wanted to say that he loved him, but it wasn't easy. He didn't say those things, his parents didn't say they loved him, and he couldn't say it out loud, it was hard.
And I would say I love you
But saying it out loud is hard
So I won't say it at all
And I won't stay very long
James was his best friend, the Potters embraced him like a son, and Sirius was extremely grateful. But there was something with Remus that he thought was the life he wanted to pursue, he just hadn't quite figured out what it was about.
But you are life I needed all along
I think of you as my brother
Although that sounds dumb
Talking about his feelings was something he was still learning. Words often failed him, so he preferred to act and show, he just didn't know if it was enough.
And words are futile devices