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It was a beautiful day in Midi City. The perfect day for a kappa to go on a walk, in fact. Takeppa normally didn't go out without Takuburning, since without someone there to tether himself to he'd probably get into an argument with someone over overpriced hotdogs or something. Who should pay that much for hot dogs? No one. Takeppa protected the small shopper.
Anyways, Takeppa was on a stroll, his beady kappa eyes protected from the sun by his bigass witch hat. There weren't many people out, so it was peaceful and quiet, just as Takeppa liked it.
When SUDDENLY, a breeze breezed so hard that it caught Takeppa's prized hat and swooshed it away. Takeppa wasn't self-conscious of his head bowl or anything, but he hated explaining it to people, so he sprinted along after his hat with a perfect balance in his walk as to not spill a single drop of his head water. That's a bad thing, in case you do not know the folk stories of kappas. If that water goes, he's as good as dead. Okay that's a lie, but it's bad. You'll see why.
The hat caught itself in a tree across a street. Takeppa was a short kappa, so this was a problem. How was he gonna get that hat?
You guessed it. He had to CLIMB. With the power of his webbed feet and quick reflexes, he could scale a tree, no problem. But the deal was...he wasn't exactly skilled at keeping his head steady when he was climbing things. It's not like he did it everyday. He mentally cursed himself for not bringing along Yoshiten - god forbid he bring Yoshiten anywhere without Fujiraid or Takuburning though, that dude was like a 2 year old - because if he was there, he could fly up like eight feet and grab it for him. He scurried up the tree like a squirrel, realizing he could have asked a myumon passing by to get it, but he wasn't one to step down from a challenge like this. He had kappa pride.
He grabbed it, success. But not long after, he found himself SLIPPING. Ruh roh. He fell ungracefully from the tree, hitting his head onto the pavement with a painful slam. But it wasn't the pain that got him. It was feeling water spilling onto the pavement around him, soaking his hair and shoulders. This was BAD.
So there Takeppa was, laying on the pavement like a total noob, water spilling everywhere and his muscles turning to rock hard stone beneath his kappa...skin? Do kappa ahve fur? Scales? Leathery weird skin? Idk. Kappa aren't even REAL. He was gonna be STUCK there, totally defenseless but also extremely in the way. If he had come across some fool laying on the sidewalk, taking up space, he would haev complained to a police officer within 2 seconds. That fast, people.
Luckily, he was not laying there alone for long. A shadow appeared over him, and he looked up into the face of a young looking girl.
"Hey mister, wanna buy some water?"
WHAT LUCK! Maybe this girl knew of the kappa mythos and knew without water, he was useless and trapped. Takeppa would have nodded, but since his body was all, y'know, stuck, he said, "Yes, please...quick...ppa...."
"Great! That'll be fifteen bucks, mister."
What?! Was this girl trying to rob him? Who paid fifteen dollars for a bottle of water? He didn't want to argue, though, if it meant being able to go the eff home. "Okay. Fine."
"I need payment upfront."
Okay, this girl had to be messing with him. "I can't move." She looked at him like he had just said the dumbest thing she ever heard, and Takeppa would scowl if he could. "I'm a kappa-ppa."
"So? Does that mean you can't pay me?"
This girl was brutal. "Can't you see that my head is empty? I can't move without water in it. Just fill it up and I'll give you your fifteen dollars. Ppa."
The girl looked reluctant to follow his demands. But then she reached into the box she was wheeling around and indeed pulled out a water bottle and unscrewed the lid. She tipped it over, filling his head a little and then shoving him into a sitting position to fill it the rest of the way. Takeppa let out a sigh of relief and replaced his hat onto his head once his movement had returned. He turned to the girl, getting his wallet out to pay her.
"Fifty dollars," she said.
Takeppa, now fully in control of his facial muscles, scowled darkly. "Are you swindling me? It was fifteen dollars before-ppa."
"I helped you," she said. Her words had a finality to them that made Takeppa bristle up in annoyance. Her hat had eyes on it, which narrowed when hers did. It was a little...unsettling. "Are you robbing me?"
Takeppa was not one to be cheated out of money. However, as a kappa, he was indebted to whoever helped him out, so if he didn't pay her... she'd be his master...which was a little weird to think about. ITO (In Takeppa’s opinon) he’d rather not be under ANYONE’s control. He was a free kappa. "...fine..." He grumbled angrily, rifling through his wallet for a big $50. "Do you have a business card? I'd like to contact your boss about this."
The girl snorted rudely, giving him a positively evil smile. "Idiot, I'm the boss. I decided I don't want your money after all. If you're a kappa, you're my slave if I don't take your money, right?"
Curses! This girl knew the mythos after all! Takeppa uneasily nodded, breaking into a cold sweat. He didn't know which set of eyes to look at! The hat or the girl?! Both were like looking into the eyes of Satan himself. "Yeah...that's right-ppa..."
"Keep your fifty bucks," she said, pushing her light blue hair back from her face. "I'm Koriente, and I'm your new boss, kappa-boy." She grabbed his hand and shook his unresponsive hand firmly, with the strong grip of a wizened businessman. Just what did Takeppa get himself into?
"Hey, do you guys know where Takeppa went?"
Fujiraid looked up from the counter of his kitchen, where he was making lunch for himself and Yoshiten, who had invited himself over on their day off. Takuburning stood at his front door, looking concerned.
"Isn't he in his apartment?" Fujiraid asked.
"No, and he's not answering his phone, either," Takuburning said worriedly.
"He probably went to that clothing store to complain about your jacket," Yoshiten said, pursing his lips. "They're gonna ban him from going there if he keeps complaining like that!"
Takuburning didn't look convinced. "Maybe..."
"Stay for lunch," Fujiraid said, graceful and elegant and momish as ever. "He'll be back soon, so chillax."
Takeppa nervously gripped at his knees. He was in some apartment that Koriente had brought him to. There was a TV playing in front of him, but it was muted for some reason, so all he could hear was Koriente in the small kitchen area banging around. It didn't seem like she lived here alone, so it made Takeppa even more uncomfortable. What if someone just like, walked in on him sitting there? A stranger in their home?
As if he predicted the future, a girl came out of what appeared to be a bedroom. She walked right by him, ignoring his presence completely, rubbing at her bubbly blue eyelashes sleepily. Takeppa thought his heart was gonna explode outta his chest from all the tension that didn't even get resolved.
She came back out after a few seconds, grabbing a cup of juice and mumbling a good morning to Koriente despite it being like 2 pm, and came back to the living room area, collapsing onto the couch besides Takeppa, still ignoring him. He stared at her, dumbfounded as she unmuted the TV and sipped at her juice.
She finally looked over at him, and without even flinching, said, "Hi~"
"Hi-ppa," he said back, awkwardly. Didn't she care? That he was sitting there? A stranger? Hello? He would have lost his little kappa mind if a stranger was sitting on his couch.
"I'm Shabobon~ Did Koriente bring you here?"
She seemed much nicer than Koriente, or at least didn't have as harsh of a voice. Her voice was kinda dreamy and slow, which made sense considering she just woke up and everything apparently. "Yeah..."
"That's cool. Want some juice?"
Before he could answer one way or the other, the front door of the apartment opened and two people came in. He vaguely recognized the girl, since she looked like a singer from some band that was popular around S-River, but he didn't recognize the big guy that followed in behind her.
"Oh!" The girl with blue hair exclaimed upon seeing him. "A visitor! Koriente, if you were inviting someone, we would have come home sooner~!"
"He's not a guest," Koriente called from the kitchen. "He's our new employee."
"Ohhhh..." the girl looked back at him, blinking her big blue eyes at him. "I'm Wendy! It'll be nice to work with you~"
"Like you actually do any work." Koriente mumbled, just loud enough for them to hear.
Wendy floated away to somewhere else in the apartment. The big dude, big man, big turtle dude, Big, gave him a long look. Takeppa prayed to god that he didn't like punch him or something. "Dude, are you actually going to work with us?" he said instead of punching him, looking concerned. "Did Koriente like, trick you into doing this?"
"She's my...master...ppa..." Takeppa said slowly, hopefully in a way that sounded like a plea for help for this guy to tip him over and refill him and tell him to go home.
Deathly silence filled the room. Shabobon let out a low "whew" next to him and the big guy gave him a weird look. "...okay," he said, a little uncomfortable sounding, walking away. Takeppa burned, embarrassed at how that had SOUNDED to these non-Kappa understanding weirdos. There was no weird innuendo here, ladies and gents. Just a good ol fashioned kappa misunderstanding.
Just as he started to distract himself by watching whatever Shabobon was watching - some weird reality TV show - Koriente emerged from the kitchen, dragging behind her a crate of the water bottles she had been selling earlier, wearing comically oversized sunglasses on both her eyes and the hats eyes. What was real?
"C'mon, Kappa Boy. It's time to SELL."
It was becoming late, and Takeppa had made no signs of showing up. Takuburning was calling his cellphone every two seconds and even Yoshiten was watching out of Fujiraid's large window that overlooked the street below.
"Maybe he fell asleep," Fujiraid tried, even though he knew that a lie.
"Takeppa keeps a strict sleeping schedule!" Takuburning said despairingly.
Yoshiten nodded. "He would never nap this late in the day, either!"
Fujiraid sighed. It was kind of weird that Takeppa had disappeared like this. Takeppa had days where he hid away to write music until the songs were perfect, but usually they knew about it. So this was bizarre. Wtf was that Kappa?
"Maybe we should go out and see if he's like...stuck."
Yoshiten slapped his hands together. "That's probably what happened!"
Takuburning didn't look convinced. "He never gets stuck...he's very careful..."
"But maybe something totally weird happened. Like his hat flew into a tree or something and he climbed to get it like a total noob."
It didn't sound like Takeppa would do something like that, but maybe... Takuburning nodded sullenly and bolted for the door, Yoshiten flapping along behind him. Fujiraid sighed. How had his day off ended up with them scouring the street for a lost Kappa? Smh.
Takeppa felt demoralized as he walked around, offering water to people for the outrageous price of 15 USD. That's about 245.57 Mexican Pesos. Koriente was watching him from the shadows of a tree, both her hat eyes and her normal eyes trained on him expertly. Like a hawk, even though she was just a mere slug girl and not a bird of prey.
Nobody was buying the water, likely because Takeppa, while having a job in sales on the regular, did not go on the street to peddle things to strangers. This felt almost illegal. Was this legal? These prices certainly weren't. If this were any other time, Takeppa would take this water and pour it out in front of Koriente, but since she was in Power of him...best not to piss her or the hat off.
It was tiring on his Kappa muscles to lug this box of water bottles around, too. Who knew a factory-regulated crate of water bottles with Koriente's crudely printed labels on them would be so heavy. Koriente was likely testing him to see how long he could go without breaking, and honestly, he was about to pass out already just from how terrible this day had gone.
After the twentieth lost sale, Koriente emerged from the shadows like some kind of capitalism beast and grabbed his shoulder with a vicelike grip. "You suck at this."
"I know," Takeppa snapped, despite trying to sound docile. "I never signed up for this-ppa."
Koriente shook her head. She wasn't mad at him, she was disappointed. And disappointment is worse than anger. She put on a fake babying voice that pissed Takeppa off. "Don't worry, Kappy, you'll get better in time." She flicked at his beak, the worst offense known to man. It sent a wave of pain over him and he felt the rage of a million suns. If he was a more vicious kappa, he would have clawed Koriente's face off in that moment. She then pat him on the cheek, grinning evilly. "I'll teach you~"
"TAKEPPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
Koriente jumped back, looking over Takeppa's shoulder at whoever had just yelled that. Takeppa turned too but then was greeted with a furry tengu belly right to the face as Yoshiten vaulted himself onto him. They tumbled over to the ground together, a mess of water and tengu fur and his big red nose.
"Thank god you're alright!" Takuburning gasped, a little out of breath from running after Yoshiten. "We were calling you all day!"
"You were," Fujiraid corrected.
"I was calling you all day," Takuburning said sheepishly.
"Hey, aren't you from that band?" Takuburning asked, realizing Koriente was standing there, looking bitterly at them. "Shizuku Secret Whatever?"
"Shizuku Secret Mind," Koriente corrected, harshly. Or harsh enough that Takuburning looked taken aback by her tone. This girl was spicy.
Yoshiten hopped off of Takeppa finally, his lil shoes click clacking ont he pavement. "C'mon, Takeppa, let's go home. Fujiraid will make us dinner~"
Takeppa lay there like a corpse in the step of decomposition where the body goes all stiff. "Help me-ppa..."
"Oh right! Water!" Yoshiten foolishly yanked a water bottle Koriente had been holding and dunked Takeppa's head right underneath it. Takeppa spluttered under the stream of water. He was getting waterboarded by a goddam koala in a tengu mask. Enough.
"Yoshiten you idiot, you need to fill his head with water, not pour it on him," Fujiraid said, shoving the Tengu out of the way and stealing yet another one of Koriente's waters and properly filling Takeppa up. Takeppa brightened like a daisy after a rainstorm under Fujiraid's gentle hands fillin up his lil pool head. "Now let's go back, okay?" Takeppa hadn't heard such a good suggestion all day until RIGHT THEN! Fujiraid truly was the best master for a kappa to have.
Tekebakitsu Sou was finally back together. Takeppa's fave dudes. Koriente was staring at them, fury in her eyes. "You just stole two of my water bottles AND my new worker! And you didn't even net any profit!" They looked at her blankly and she let out a frustrated cry, lifting the crate of bottles Takeppa had been struggling with with ease. It was kind of scary to know she had so much power in her thin arms. "You'll pay for this, you fiery freaks!" And with that, she ran away, long slug hat tail bopping as she sped away.
"That was weird," Takuburning finally said. Fujiraid and Yoshiten nodded. Agreed.
"You don't even know the half of it-ppa..." Takeppa whined. He didn't even want to think about that ever again. He did not look forward to the day he would have to see Koriente or her hat again, because she seemed ruthless. Devious. An evil capitalist. But he bet he could take her if she didnt have control over him like that again. Well we'll just have to see, won't we Takeppa? WON'T WE................................. HEY YEH HYEHYHYEH HYE AHAHAHAHHA! *rubs my little evil hands together*
And with that, Tekesou went back to their apartments, made some popcorn and watched movies all night. they watched Manhunter (1986). Yoshiten related to Will Graham's tiny pink shorts.
these
~FIN~
TO BE ?????? CONTINUED???????????????????????????????????