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Daring Delights for Dynamite! was said to be the hottest cooking competition show to air in years–in more than one way– but it couldn’t actually be doing all that well if they felt the need to hire former information extraction specialists from the Hero Commission as hair and makeup artists for the show. That was currently the assumption Emi was working on at least, that she was undergoing some kind of torture session from seasoned professionals, as her teal hair was brutally brushed, twisted, and sprayed into a complicated updo (There was mandate apparently directly from the top that long, loose hair on any of Dynamite’s kitchen sets was subject to being burnt off, and there would be no responsibility taken for baldness or loss of eyebrows or eyelashes if you were exploded for not following the rules. Not even the darling Ms. Joke would be exempt) and her face was plucked, powdered, and painted while a production assistant grilled her on what would be expected of her as fill-in host.
Mina Ashido had served as host for Daring Delights last season, but she was away on a mission that the crew didn’t seem to know the details of or understand beyond that she was letting something (saving lives as Pinky) get in the way of being at the first few days of taping even though Dynamite could manage to be there despite being more in demand–though tapings were rescheduled for the star, and had been in the past. There was a reason that DynaDelicacies and That’s Some Dynamite Food! had both been short-lived. Hero work had to come first for those that were still active, and Dynamite still reportedly had his sights on being Japan’s top hero even though he could live more than comfortably retiring that part of his life–and maybe even live happily if he got DynaDelicacies back on the air and could cook again instead of just being a judge.
Dynamite had taken quite well to his second career as celebrity chef, more comfortable on camera than anyone expected, as long as you kept him moving around a kitchen, hands busy, or at least kept his smart mouth giving cooking tips and talking about flavor profiles and the like. In fact, that was how his meteoric rise to Asian Food Network staple had started, reportedly. He’d been booked for an interview on a morning talk and news hybrid show, one where the hosts were reluctant to have him back because of his track record cursing on air and occasionally verbally abusing his interviewers even when they stayed on script, and some bright light had suggested that they let Dynamite help with their Ten Minute Meal of the Week segment instead. His on-air improvisation as he tweaked the recipe in real time, animated but not manic as he so often was, snarky and charming instead of abrasive and hostile even when personal questions and critiques of his hero record were worked into the patter, made that morning the highest rated and most rewatched episode the show had ever had. The rest was history.
“You have to get him to say ‘taste explosion .’ It’s very important. It’s in his contract. He tries to get out of it sometimes. If he says something positive about a dish, but doesn’t include ‘taste explosion,’ or he just smiles after taking a bite, you have to prompt him. Is it a taste explosion? He goes ‘Mhmm’ or ‘yum’ and that’s a taste explosion . Get him to say it at least once, but we would prefer at least three for maximum catch phrase recognition.”
“What about..?” Emi spit out a tuft of powder brush that had somehow ended up in her mouth as one of her torturers admonished her for moving. “What about ‘That’s a dynamite bite?’ I think that could be kind of cute, and tie back to his line of prepared meals.” She may never have seen his shows, but Emi owed her continued existence to Dynamite Bites quick meals grabbed from the grocery store.
“We have a warehouse full of shirts that say Taste Explosion,” the colonel of clipboards insisted. “It’s got to be ‘taste explosion.’ It’s really your most important job.”
Despite those words, a further explanation rattled on. “ Nobody is expecting you to become a food reporter overnight. Just narrate what the contestants are doing at their stations the best you can. Not too much detail. Just ‘he’s got that meat in a pan for a nice sear before he finishes it off in the oven’ or ‘she’s using butter not oil so she’ll have a richer flavor.’ Make a big deal if two contestants both want to use the ice cream machine. Play it for drama. Stuff like that. Prompt them to describe their dishes themselves when they are served, or parrot descriptions they give you ahead of time. Make witty banter. Get the contestants to talk about themselves. The stories can make or break an episode. It’s what the audience is going to remember about a show, not the food–especially today’s taping. All the contestants are heroes Dynamite went to school with instead of civilians. It’s going to be epic. The public will expect epic. We’ll be hyping it up for weeks, so do your part to make sure it lives up to that hype. Don’t put it all on editing’s shoulders.”
“Don’t worry. I know what to do.” Emi turned her head back and forth, admiring her reflection as her torturers retreated. She had to admit they got results. “I know how to put on a show.”
She’d wowed comedy clubs and late night talk for years. She’d hosted awards shows and had been voted favorite guest for Put Your Hands Up with Present Mic three years in a row. Ms. Joke was anything but a joke when she put her mind to it, and she’d make sure everyone was laughing with her and not at her when she was.
Plus, Pinky herself had given her replacement a tip for a real ace in the hole question to get things rolling once the cameras were on.
First though, there was the requisite introduction of the man of the hour, who wore a shark-like smile of bared and gritted teeth while she gushed to the camera about how “hot” he is, how he is “equally at home cooking up trouble for the bad guys and saving the world as he is cooking in the kitchen and saving souffles,” how he’s “on fire either way, really smoking,” and every other pun she could muster.
Then she did the same for the guest judge assisting Dynamite for the episode, a certain UA instructor that had once been very close to Dynamite and his class. Emi sighed and swooned through listing the many varied virtues and accomplishments of one Shota Aizawa, the incomparable Eraserhead, finishing off with, "But the greatest title he possesses is that of my future husband,” cooing and leaning over the judges table to overdramatically bat her eyelashes at him and tickle under his chin as he scowled and pulled away, before withdrawing all at once and winking at the camera. “Just kidding. I hear he's now dating retired top hero All Might. Scaaaandalous!"
Ms. Joke had her first win of the day when Eraserhead shrugged instead of denied, and she saw a flurry of orders given beyond the set proper as the operator swung around camera B and zoomed in to catch Eraserhead’s blush.
Scandalous indeed. Emi would try to keep that energy up. “Well, ain’t that some spice? Let’s see what other ingredients we can try to get cooking! Let’s meet our contestants!”
Pre-recorded talking head interviews, clip reels, and backstories to be edited in later were other people’s jobs so Emi just swung around to gesture at the entryway she’d been told the contestants would be emerging from and called their names, both hero and personal, one at a time with the enthusiasm of a carnival barker that was also surprised to meet their favorite idol.
Chargebolt Denki Kaminari.
Hitoshi Shinso, Purple Haze the Mind Control Hero of the underground circuit.
Synergy, the Fire and Ice Hero, also known as Shoto Todoroki.
Neito Monoma the Phantom Thief.
Tenya Iida, Ingenium and head of the Idaten Team.
Creati, the sweet heiress Momo Yaoyorozu.
Tsuyu Asui–though you can just call her Tsu–Rescue Hero Froppy.
Kyoka Jiro, Earphone Jack and lead singer of Screaming Souls.
Ochako Uraraka, Uravity.
Deku, a man who needs no introduction, civilian name, Izuku Midoriya.
It was quite an impressive collection. Ms. Joke didn’t need to fake the thrills and chills the names caused, though that was partially because she knew they were daring the universe to send some villain or natural disaster with so many heavy hitters gathered under one roof.
Dynamite began a practiced speech explaining the concept of the show, cheekier smile on his face than the usual and softer tone when he called his contestants “extras” as was tradition, but Emi didn’t let him get far.
“Sorry to interrupt,” she simpered, anything but. She got a few sharp looks from the crew, and Dynamite's wasn’t even the most harsh, but she was allowed the leeway, so she barrelled ahead. “Before we introduce today’s challenge, I have to get something off my chest. There’s one burning question I just have to know.” She beamed at the contestants, laying her trap. “You guys don’t mind answering one itty-bitty question about your school days with our cooking dynamo, do ya? I promise it’s not too embarrassing.”
There were varied noises of assent.
Dynamite scoffed, “There’s nothing I did when I was young that I regret that I haven’t already been interviewed about and apologized for.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure about that, Kacchan.” Deku volleyed back chipperly, smile and mischievous eyes oh so photogenic. The whole world knew the two heroes had known each other since they were infants. The poor thing probably thought he could get by sharing a story about wetting the bed or All Might pajamas. The dear baby had no idea what was coming. Then again, maybe he did. Deku may have started out his career tongue-tied around the press, but he’d grown to be able to talk around a question and dangle bait without spilling secrets with the best of them.
Emi signaled to the camera to keep tight on Deku as subtly as she could. This was it. She had already been planning on asking the question, but Pinky calling it an ace in the hole just cinched the decision. Even if all she got was a shocked look and denial, the DynaDeku shippers of the world would soon be getting enough fuel to sustain them for weeks.
“Be honest, how many of you darlings dated our hot, hot chef back in UA?”
Seven out of ten hands raised in the air without a moment of hesitation. Deku was not one of them.
Camera operators divided the task of reaction shots. Someone’s raised voice warned them, “Don’t forget Dynamite’s!” Another voice called for emergency fire extinguishers on standby. Eraserhead’s head hit the judges’ table as he ducked it like a turtle retreating into his shell and pretended to fall spontaneously asleep.
A wavering, shellshocked, betrayed gasp dominated the scene in front of the cameras. “Monoma? Monoma?!” Echoes followed it. It wouldn’t have been the headline that Ms. Joke would have gone with, but she rolled with the flow.
“It seems our Phantom Thief has a story! Was it a whirlwind summer romance? A sweet first love with a sweeter first kiss stargazing from the roof of the dorms? Did you carry each other’s books and hold hands walking down the hall? Were there movie dates and formal dances? Or did you steal a few interesting quirks and experiment as we know kids do?” Emi waggled her brows.
“I don’t know why everyone’s so shocked,” Monoma bristled, shoulders that had scrunched in when the incredulous horror of his fellow heroes had first reached his ears, now being thrown back and chin raising. “I’m gorgeous. He’s…not unattractive, and while everyone thinks the top heroes are so far above those who spent longer paying their dues as sidekicks, honing their craft and learning instead of relying on flashy quirks, they are subject to the same base needs. You get a few drinks into Dynamite and he falls right on his knees. He’s quite the little slu…”
Dynamite’s repeated yelling of the sentence, “I was drunk! I was drunk! I” corroborated the Phantom Thief’s story–though one had to wonder why he would want to.
“Be quiet!” Shinso reached around Todoroki and flicked Monoma in the ear before he could continue to slander Japan’s darling little cooking hero.
“Ow!” A rookie mistake was made. Phantom Thief likely hadn’t heard Purple Haze say anything before the flick was felt.
“Be quiet. Be quiet for the rest of the day,” Shinso repeated himself, and the excitement started to die down.
Uraraka let out one more shout of, “Monoma of all people?” that sounded particularly and personally offended before the subject was dropped.
There were no outbursts concerning any other raised hands, unless Kaminari desperately trying to high five Iida, and Jiro laughing so hard she needed to lean on Yaoyorozu for support were to be counted.
Dynamite called for “Cut,” almost definitely redundant in the action, and pulled a few members of production over the side for a conversation. Emi could hear the assurance, “We’ll edit that part out,” used liberally and could smell the lies from a distance.
The contestants were fanned out and talking amongst each other, easing into the unplanned break a little too comfortably, so Emi waved a lone camera operator over. “We’re going to get a few more talking heads–follow up on the dating thing. If you get in trouble for wasting memory space, blame it on me.”
She pulled Midoriya aside first. He went agreeably.
“Crazy situation, huh?”
“The question was kind of uncalled for since we’re here for a cooking show.” Despite his choice of answer, there wasn’t much rebuke in the Symbol of Hope’s voice. “But it’s also not really that big of a deal. We were all really close, even before the war. We spent all our time together–the first classes to live in the dorms, and some of the first first years to be allowed to do work study. Then we trauma bonded further. Most of us have dated most of the others over the years. It’s difficult to find someone who wasn’t there who truly understands what it was like.”
Jeez. Bum-mer. Couldn’t the kid keep it fun? The hero started to tear up and Emi knew she had to redirect the answer.
“But you and Dynamite never dated?”
The change was instantaneous. The perfect Deku smile and bright eyes along with a cheery, “Kacchan and I have been friends our whole lives. People make assumptions, but, if they ever talked to us directly, we’d set them straight,” that sounded like it came from a pull string.
Emi mentally walked back everything she had thought about Midoriya knowing how to work an interview. Baby doll was a bad, bad liar. She had other fish to fry before they were called upon to fry more literal fish, but she’d get him later. “I know your friendship is an inspiration to many.”
He knew he was being brushed off, just like she had, and, exchange finished, he offered to go get Emi’s next victim for her. Hitoshi Shinso. Eraserhead seemed to be trying to renegotiate his role in the episode, so Emi thought she had some time.
“So what did you and Dynamite have cooking?” That was it. That was the soundbite. She could use the same question for each of them, and keep to the cooking show theme.
“Just ask what you really want to know. Did he make me use my voice modulator to imitate Deku?” Purple Haze started off strong and hostile, but quickly backed off when he saw in Emi’s eyes that hadn’t been where she was going at all–though he’d now put ideas into her head. “The answer to that would be no. It was the opposite of that. Most people don’t get to see how considerate and sweet Bakugo can be. He would always initiate conversation, and always open with a compliment–even if it was backhanded or tore someone else down at the same time to keep up with his image. ‘I want to hang around with someone cooler than these other losers.’ That sort of thing.”
Feet shuffled and Purple Haze scratched a hand behind his ear and looked away before continuing. “ It’s a small, stupid thing when I say it out loud, years later, but it meant something that he always wanted me to know that he wanted to talk to me. I have a big thing about people speaking first, not just responding. At least I did back then. Bakugo always found a way to say that he wanted to be with me and that it was me who he wanted to be with. What we had was pretty chaste and pretty short. Stupid kids holding hands and stuff like you needled Monoma about. He has a real fixation with hand holding actually. He made me feel special though.” He looked over Emi’s shoulder and fixed an intense stare directly into the camera. “Make sure that line doesn’t get cut. He made me feel like I was worth something.”
Creati was called next, though there wasn’t much of a story beyond her and Dynamite bonding over rare teas and him creating snacks to accompany her favorites. Sweet and cute. The viewers at home were going to get a different sort of insight into everyone’s favorite hothead if the answers made it into the episode.
“I am just here to cook.” Froppy cut off any attempt to engage her. “I’ve seen the show before. It looked like fun. I’m excited about the cooking. Bakugo’s going to like my dish. Ribbit.”
“Why don’t you want to talk to me?” The Todoroki heir actually flagged down Emi when her gaze passed him by as she looked for the next story. “I dated Katsuki for the longest.”
“You didn’t raise your hand,” Emi pointed out as the camera obediently turned to focus on the fire and ice hero.
“We didn’t date at UA. It was after. He was my date to my father’s second wedding. We went just as friends. We actually spent most of the night talking about how we wished Iz..”
“Okay, back to places, people!” an amplified directorial command cut in at the absolute worst time.
“Wait!” Emi pleaded, but the moment slipped away and it was right back to Dynamite describing the premise of Daring Delights, which, while technically being what they were all gathered for, felt like a distraction from the true show, The Many Loves of Dynamite, just when it was getting good. A slow dance at a wedding leading to a Dynamite and Synergy friends to lovers story? Possible bonding over both pining for an oblivious but never callous Izuku Midoriya? The women of Japan and many of the men as well would swoon!
The secret ingredient of the night was habanero pepper. Who cared?
“Something easy for these extras, because they are some of my favorite supporting cast. People know I like the heat, so you had all better bring it!”
Fine. Fine. Ready. Set. Go.
Emi did her first job, whispering to the camera about the important role of pantry staples while the contestants rushed around, encouraging Dynamite to monologue about how they actually needed to be careful in showcasing the star ingredient because it could be a tricky balance to highlight the flavor of the habanero without overpowering your dish, pondering if it was an unfair advantage when Shoto Todoroki declared he wasn’t worried about being first to the ice cream machine because he could just use his powers.
As soon as the chefs were well underway, however, she set her sights on following through with her new task.
“So what was it that you and Dynamite talked about all night at Endeavor’s wedding?” She attacked the fire and ice hero as he attacked a pineapple, choosing what looked like a highly inefficient hack and chop method to cut it into chunks before he had even peeled away the spikes.
“Hawks’ terrible taste in music, mostly.” Red and white mixed to pink in places as he tossed his hair out of his eyes. Emi wondered if he was verging on testing Dynamite’s hair rule and if the heartthrob would still be cute bald.
“There wasn’t something you both wished for?”
A cue card was held up, telling Emi to move on and talk about the food.
What an opposite of a taste explosion!
Emi begrudgingly obeyed though, moving to Deku’s station and commenting on him toasting the seeds of both habanero and jalapeno peppers along with the chopped peppers and onion for a more robust flavor. A much more robust flavor.
“Let’s hope Dynamite has his milk on hand!”
“Am I not supposed to include the seeds?” The green haired man looked alarmed.
“Don’t ask her! Decide for yourself!” The judge yelled from across the set.
Emi moved on to Ingenium’s station where the speed hero described his beef and beetroot stew in loving detail as he chopped peppers to add to it, careful to deseed his own habaneros.
“It will feed the spirit, strengthen the body, and clear the sinuses!” Iida chopped the air with one hand while he stirred the diced peppers into the pot with the other.
“Uh huh, and now tell me about when you dated Dynamite.” Emi refused to be completely deterred.
“I don’t kiss and tell, but we had a very practical arrangement during testing season,” Iida shared enthusiastically as he sliced at the air again. “Do you know the effects orgasms can have in clearing the mind and aiding focus? It can be a useful study tool to…”
Regular orgasms may be the key to productive study sessions, but they were not the key to high ratings when the conversation would never make the final cut of the show for worry about censors, so Emi walked away while Ingenium was still talking.
Uravity had minced no less than ten habaneros and was mixing them into a sweet smelling dough when Emi approached, so they made conversation about that for a good minute. She was making habanero sugar cookies, which was…a definite decision, and Emi wished her luck before getting her to open up.
“We were both recovering in the hospital. I had been stabbed, and we compared scars. We have identical ones, you know. Impaled in the same place. Twins! He told me that I still needed my heart to actually explode though if I wanted to keep up. I said no thanks. I ended up crying while I told him I was glad he was still alive. Then he said he was glad I was alive too. We held each other. We kissed a bit. It lasted for awhile after we got out of the hospital. I don’t know…we’d been growing closer for months. It made sense at the time. I’m still very glad he’s alive and that I have the pleasure of knowing him.”
Earphone Jack showed Emi how to debone a fish and summed up her relationship with Dynamite as, “He joined Screaming Souls for a couple of stops on tour one time when he was on health hiatus, and…well, it was a tour. Things happen on tour.”
“What about UA?”
“Things also happen during band practice when you have a school festival performance coming up. You can ask Yaomomo about that too.”
Froppy showed off her blackberry habanero barbecue sauce simmering in its pot while pork cutlet fried in a nearby pan. “I like cooking. I never dated Bakugo.”
Chargebolt did not disappoint. He offered Emi a frozen spicy margarita as he told her, “I truly think I loved Kacchan of the Clan Bakugo. I still love him, but the time we spent together, exclusive, all six months of it, was magical.”
The warning for plating needed to be sounded before he could fully elaborate on how magical it was. There was a flurry of activity and running, and then the other most exciting part of the taping followed, the presentation of the dishes.
There was a brief hold up as the cameras came in for close shots from all angles of the dishes, but the food was still delivered to Dynamite and Eraserhead before it could cool (or in the case of some, heat) too much.
Deku presented a cardamom curry eggplant tomato soup that Eraserhead couldn’t stomach more than a bite of and Dynamite finished but picked apart the details of. The eggplant wasn’t skinned. The habanero seeds he enjoyed, but would turn off most diners. It tasted like canned tomatoes. Too much salt had been added.
Deku took all the criticism in stride, seeming to miss much of it as he hummed, “But Kacchan liked my spicy soup. He ate the whole bowl,” repeatedly as a counter to every teardown.
Ingenium’s stew fared a bit better, but his peppers were too crunchy and not very well integrated into the rest of the dish.
Synergy’s habanero pineapple ice cream on the other hand was a huge hit, as was Froppy’s barbeque pork and root vegetable medley (“I know how to cook. That’s what I thought we were all here for.”).
Chargebolt neglected to make anything besides spicy margaritas and Dynamite seemed inclined to disqualify him for it. An extended exchange about the validity of mixed drinks as a meal followed. Dynamite was convinced for a moment until Chargebolt qualified it as “Granted,the type of meal after which some of us blow Monoma ,” and Eraserhead never budged from the logical stance that drinks were drunk, not eaten. Then Chargebolt got himself disqualified anyway for trying to force feed Eraserhead a raw pepper while yelling, “I want to win!”
Eraserhead complimented Purple Haze’s mango habanero chicken wings, citing how his friend Present Mic had made him appreciate a good chicken recipe. Dynamite favored Creati’s habanero pepper cream pasta. They both praised Earphone Jack’s Jamaican fried snapper and wild rice, especially since she had also made spicy margaritas to serve on the side.
Uravity’s cookies were declared not fit for human consumption.
At the end of the day there was one clear winner though. Purple Haze took his mind control off of the Phantom Thief just in time for Neito Monoma to launch into a loving rhapsody about the concert of flavors blended into the plum habanero glaze that caressed his crispy duck breast atop its valiant supporters garlic roasted fingerling potatoes and their unassuming friends, the al dente green beans with honey and shaved almonds.
“For once, you are not full of shit,” Dynamite declared, only to be made to reshoot his reaction. “That’s a flavor explosion!”
“Taste explosion!”
And again.
Dynamite adopted a recreation of Deku’s signature hope for the world look and raised his voice in a similar mockery of his most saccharine tones, “That’s a taste explosion!” He followed it with a laugh that sounded like Mickey Mouse.
And again.
“Fucking taste explosions!”
And again.
“Wow, you have really impressed me today, Monoma.” He admitted, as heartfelt as if it was the first time. “I have to give you credit. The flavors on my tongue…Pow! It was a taste explosion! Congratulations!”
From there it was just shaking hands, naming of charities benefited by the prize money, and exit interviews. Emi received no handshakes even after the cameras were off. Dynamite was assured once again that no talk about his love life would make it to air. Emi received a fruit basket delivery the next day that indicated otherwise, but it wouldn’t have mattered either way. She had been hired for a job and she’d done it.
Undoing hair and makeup’s misdeeds was a quicker process than submitting to them had been, but Emi was still one of the last of the talent to leave. Her exit was well timed though. Otherwise, she would have missed Deku in the parking lot, leaning through the window of Dynamite’s distinctive car with its explosion decals down the side to kiss the driver–a man not Dynamite, instantly recognizable from his two-toned hair–before climbing in the backseat. The car turned as it pulled away, paused directly in front of Emi, and the passenger’s window rolled down too, revealing Dynamite.
Revealing Dynamite flipping her off to be precise. From what Emi could see, his opposite hand was intertwined with the driver’s. Deku leaned up from the backseat and bit the meat of Dynamite’s cheek, then kissed the mark. “Mean, Kacchan. It’s not her fault.”
Emi cheerfully flipped Dynamite off in return. “Roll up those windows. There are still cameras too near for comfort.”
Sweet little Dynamite had two boyfriends. What a taste explosion!
Secret was safe with her now. She was off the clock.
The Real Winner’s Cardamom Curry Eggplant Tomato Soup
1) Preheat the oven to 400 F.
2) Spray a baking sheet with cooking spray
3) Peel and chop 1 large eggplant into small chunks and toss in a generous drizzle of olive oil, the goal being to coat all pieces, but not saturate them.
4) Roast in oven 20 minutes or until tender.
5) Chop
- 1 medium yellow or white onion
- 2 jalapenos
- 1 habanero pepper
You can increase the peppers to your taste, but make sure your peppers are deseeded unless you are just a fan of pain
6) Heat 2 TBSP of olive oil in a large pan with sides or wok over medium heat and add
- 1/2 tsp ground coriander
- 1 tsp ground cardamom
- 1/2 tsp ground cumin
- 1/4 tsp ground cinnamon
- 1 TBSP turmeric
- 1 tsp ground ginger
- 4-6 cloves garlic (or several spoons minced garlic until your heart tells you it is right)
and cook until fragrant before adding your chopped onion and peppers, sauteing until the onion is completely translucent and the peppers are soft
7) Add
- Your roasted eggplant from step 1-4
- 4 cups diced tomatoes (They can be from a can. It’s fine, babe)
- 2 cups chicken OR vegetable broth
- 1 bay leaf
and bring to a boil, before reducing to medium-low heat to simmer for 15 minutes
8) Add 1 can coconut milk and 2 tsp chopped dry mint, stir well, and simmer 5 more minutes
9) Dish out into bowls and serve with an optional dollop of plain greek yogurt and side of bread, any bread, crusty bread or naan. Mmm bread.
Enjoy!