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“Do you think, if things had gone differently, that we would’ve turned out okay?” Ada stared into the distance as she spoke, where she knew the harbinger of her death was quickly approaching. Morella’s sobbing, long rendered silent by the ravaging of her throat, came to a shuddering stop for just a moment. Ada could feel Morella’s hesitation before she spoke, entangled as they were as they stood upon Morella’s family’s lawn. Morella had insisted on holding onto her with her back facing the inevitable, mumbling something about protecting her, fruitless as it was against what was to come. An atom bomb’s ruinous splendor halted for no man, and certainly not for a young woman desperately latched onto her girlfriend.
“What do you mean?” Morella’s voice was muted, uncertain, laced with the fear that had long since turned to silent resignation within Ada. Ada couldn’t blame her, really, for being scared. Morella had so much more to live for - a family who loved her, a tear-stained college acceptance letter on her bedside table, a future in saving the lives of animals of all shapes and sizes. After her “Prince Charming” had turned out a bust, Ada couldn’t help but hope for nothing. Morella’s very presence in her life was more than she honestly deserved. Still, she wondered.
“Like, if we had met when we were younger so I didn’t have all of my Mr. Dreamy baggage to dump on you,” Morella chuckled slightly at the nickname they had given Ada’s ex, “would our dating life have gone better? Could we have moved in together somewhere in the countryside and been far, far away by the time the Soviets bombed our asses to hell and back?” Ada regretted her question as Morella flinched into her, clearly spooked by the mention of the bomb that would spell their doom. Ada kissed Morella on the forehead in a feeble attempt to make up for it, to make up for everything, as if this final moment made any damned difference in all of the hell Ada put Morella through with her mere presence. Some idiot high school dropout too busy chasing dreams of everlasting love to confront the reality that she’d amount to nothing in the end dragging a woman far too kind for her own good into the depths of the abyss with her. Maybe Morella wouldn’t have been in the blast zone if Ada had just dropped dead somewhere. Undeserved tears trickled down her face, bringing whatever makeup hadn’t already been ruined with them. Morella shushed her softly even as she hiccupped from her own crying.
“Maybe we would’ve had a dog, adopted a kid or two,” even at the end of the world as they knew it, Morella couldn’t help but play along with Ada’s fancies, “somewhere out west where everyone knows everyone.”
“As much as I ain’t a fan of farm work, I think I would’ve liked that,” Ada smiled into Morella’s shoulder, hoping to cheer her up for just a moment, “maybe I woulda picked up a tool or two, just for you.” Ada couldn’t tell if Morella was crying or laughing - perhaps both? - as her calloused hands danced up Ada’s back to her bow. Ada nodded her approval into Morella’s shoulder, hoping that Morella would find some sort of comfort in running her hands through her hair, as she often did.
“As if you wouldn’t just take the opportunity to sit on the porch and look pretty,” laughing, then, as Morella playfully kissed her neck. Ada relished in the delicacy of Morella’s touch as she undid her bow, careful not to pull or tug, unlike him. Morella pulled away from Ada for just a moment to place the fabric in her breast pocket, looking up at Ada as she did so. Her deep blue eyes were wet and red-rimmed, but filled with so much affection that Ada couldn’t help but tear up again herself. Morella’s look turned to one of concern, but Ada reached up to wipe the tears off of Morella’s face before she got the opportunity to apologize.
“I’m alright, pumpkin, I just… I love you, more than I could ever describe, and I hope that whatever’s after this is better and kinder to you than I’ve been,” Ada choked on her own words as Morella launched herself back into her, slamming into her with enough force to nearly lose her balance.
“Don’t say that! You’ve been plenty kind,” Morella sounded almost offended on her behalf, as if Ada had insulted something of incredible value, “and even if you hadn’t been, I’d still love you, I just feel it. And, for what it’s worth, I hope I’ll see you again someday.” The sirens blared louder around them, signaling the bomb’s approach. One more chance.
“Morella?” Nerves bunched up in her throat as if her choker was suffocating her, trying to stop her, to make her think for a moment. She couldn’t wait any longer, though. There was no longer to wait for.
“Yeah?” Morella’s hands ceased their lazy movement within her hair, and Ada almost regretted speaking.
“If- if things had gone differently, if we weren’t here right now… would you marry me?” Ada didn’t kneel, desperate as she was for Morella’s touch. She couldn’t help the desire to spend her final moments in a loving embrace. Morella, for her part, gasped and pulled away for a moment. Ada was terrified that she had done something wrong for one too-long moment before a pair of ravenous lips met hers. She returned the kiss, feeling Morella nod into her as Ada grasped the small of her back. Those damnable sirens almost sounded like wedding bells in the inconceivable length of time that their final kiss took up. In the depths of her joy, Ada nearly mistook the white flash as a veil waiting to be lifted by her bride.
And as their ashes mingled, their love was consummated by fire.