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The rain poured heavily outside, matching the tumultuous emotions swirling within Kibum's heart. He stood at the entrance of the café, nervously clutching the handle of the umbrella with trembling hand. Memories of his past with Lee Jinki flooded his mind, reminding him of the pain and heartbreak they had endured. It had been years since their messy break up, but now they were about to face each other once again.
Kibum knows he shouldn’t be agreeing to meet Jinki again. The memories from the day Jinki said that he doesn’t love Kibum anymore are still freshly attached in Kibum’s mind. The most painful thing is that Kibum knows that Jinki has started playing with fire when they are in a relationship. A few people, who didn’t even close with Kibum, has mentioned about Jinki’s infidelity. But Kibum choose to trust his boyfriend, thinking that there are no way Jinki would play with Kibum’s heart. But oh boy, how Kibum is so wrong.
Kibum took a deep breath and pushed open the door. The warm aroma of coffee embraced him as he scanned the room, searching for the familiar face he had missed and tried to forget. And there, sitting alone at a corner table, was Lee Jinki, his ex-lover, staring pensively into his coffee cup.
Kibum slowly approached the table, uncertainty etched on his face. Jinki looked up, his eyes filled with a mixture of sadness and longing. Looking at Jinki’s eyes, all the memories come flooding Kibum’s mind. The time they spent together in each other apartment, the comfortable feeling when they are walking hand in hand along the Han River and the warmth Kibum gets from hugging Jinki every night before he fell asleep. Without knowing, tears flow from his eyes.
“Oh god, Bammie, baby, please don’t cry….” Jinki quickly stand up and put his hand over Kibum’s shoulder, trying to soothe the later. It pained him that even after all this time, after a few years after their breakup, Kibum is still crying whenever they met.
It took five minutes for Kibum to calmed down and now he is sitting face to face with the man that he once thought the love of his life.
“So, how have you been, Jinki hyung?”
Jinki sighed softly, his gaze intense. "I've been okay, I guess. But I couldn't help but think about us lately, about what we had."
Kibum's heart sank, knowing exactly where this conversation was heading. He took a deep breath, trying to steady his emotions. His tears are threatened to fall again but he grits his teeth and give Jinki a small smile.
“Hyung, we've been through this. You have asked the same question on Gala event back then and my answer is still the same.”
Jinki reached out, placing his hand on top of Kibum's, a pleading look in his eyes. "I know, but I can't help but wonder if we made a mistake. I miss you, Kibum. I miss us. Can't we give it another try? Please, baby?”
Kibum pulled his hand back gently.
“You didn’t back then…” Kibum whispered softly, making Jinki tilting his head to hear Kibum better.
“What did you say?”
“Back then, after you break up with me, when I was sending you a lot of messages, calling you a ton of time and sending you voice notes, you didn’t miss me back then, hyung.” Kibum’s gaze hardened remembering the worst time in his life.
Tears now welled up in Jinki's eyes, and he blinked them back, his voice choked with emotion.
“Baby, I know I screwed up big times. That’s my fault and I regretted it the most. I’m sorry, please give me a second chance, hm? Please let me make it better for you.”
“Let’s just moved on hyung. What we had is beautiful, despite what you did to me at the end. I’m very grateful of what we had back then. Besides, there’s someone’s feelings that I need to protect now.”
Jinki's eyes widened, and a flicker of pain crossed his face.
"I thought... I thought maybe we could give us another chance. I've realized my mistakes, Kibum. I want to make it right this time." Jinki continues his plea.
Kibum closed his eyes, fighting back tears. He knew Jinki's words held a glimmer of hope, a promise of a better future. Kibum is really tempted to just agree with the older and mending their broken relationship, but suddenly his phone is blinking, signaling that he got a message.
Oppa, look! I found a stone that looks like you ahaha I will bring it to your apartment for a good luck 😊
Kibum let out a chuckle looking at the message and photo that Taeyeon sends him. His heart is full of affection and suddenly he wants to run into his apartment just to quickly meet his girlfriend.
"Hyung, I don’t think you could make it work. You do have your chance when I didn’t say anything about you meeting someone else behind my back. But now I thought I should just let you know that I know about your little rendezvous with your classmate. That’s where our love became toxic and suffocating. And honestly, I can't go back to that, hyung. I'm sorry."
To say Jinki is surprised by Kibum’s comment is an understatement. Jinki is shocked, he couldn’t believe that Kibum is aware of his fling.
“You… know? But how?”
“You don’t think that you two could meet at the noraebang and kissing each other shamelessly without our acquaintances knowing, right hyung? There’re too many people told me about that, but I chose to trust you. Well, I should have just confronted you instead, but I didn’t. For that, I’m really sorry.”
Silence hung heavy between them as Jinki absorbed Kibum's words. Tears welled up in his eyes, and he nodded, defeated.
"I understand," Jinki said, his voice trembling. "I just... I hope you can forgive me, Bammie. I never meant to hurts you. You are like, the best thing that has ever happened to me.”
Kibum nodded slowly, he reached out to Jinki’s hand and give it a little squeeze.
“You used to be my forever happy ending, hyung, and at one point I thought that I couldn’t love anyone else but you. But apparently when you turned my life upside down, someone reaches me out and gives me much love and affection that I believe in love again and I could finally feeling genuinely happy. I hope you’ll also find someone that made you happy, hyung.”
Jinki looked down, his fingers tracing invisible patterns on the table.
“But you are the one that can made me really happy, bam…”
“But we can’t go back, Jinki. We did have our chance to be together and made our happy ending, but we didn’t. Now, we have to find our own happiness, even if it's apart."
Jinki nodded slowly, a tear escaping his eye.
"I guess you're right. It's just hard to let go."
"I know, hyung. But it's for the best. We'll always have our memories, and they'll forever hold a special place in my heart. You will always have a special place in my heart, my old man."
They sat in silence for a while, their unspoken emotions hanging heavy in the air. Eventually, Jinki stood up with a sad smile on his face. "Take care of yourself, baby. Send my apologies to Taeyeon for trying to take back her boyfriend.”
Kibum gives the same smile,
“I will, hyung.”
With a heavy heart, Jinki turned and walked away, leaving behind a bittersweet past that he couldn't rewrite. The rain continued to pour outside, washing away the remnants of their love.