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“Picture-perfect image of beauty.” That’s what they say about me, anyway. I mean, I suppose they had to be correct. You can’t become the “No. 1 model of Twisted Wonderland” without being beautiful in some way…but why doesn’t it feel like I won?
I sigh as I close my journal. Why am I even having these thoughts? I’m Neige LeBlanche; for Wonderland’s sake, I’m the top model! I’m living the life others could only dream of, and yet I couldn’t shake the feeling that I don’t deserve this, that there are people out there that deserve to be in my spot more than I could ever be. I slap my cheeks, trying to get my head straight. “Come on, Neige. Put on a smile. It’s a new day and— that’s a good thing….” I said quietly, trying desperately to convince myself that everything was fine. I let out another heavy sigh as I lean into the chair. “Who the hell am I kidding?” I asked myself before getting up and beginning to get ready for school.
Even though the whole day, I smile and play into the role everyone had put me in, I would be lying if I said it was not tiring and annoying. I mean, come on! I can’t even swear when I stubbed my toe during lunch! It is suffocating playing into the innocent guy everyone sees me as. Just because I’m kind and want to do what’s best doesn’t mean I don’t swear or don’t want to get angry or don’t want to do something impolite, damn it! And my look doesn’t help in the slightest! Maybe if I wasn’t so desperate, I would’ve thought about my freedom before I agreed to this. I look up at the sky as I begin to regret my choices. It’s weird, really. I don’t hate acting— it’s one of the only things I’m good at. Potions and acting had always been my only talents, but I supposed at some point between then and now, acting lost its spark for me. Now it just feels like I’m just going through the motions. ‘If only I could love this job like Vil,’ I thought as I pulled up my phone, looking up Vil’s Magicam account. He’s so cool— and passionate as well. He may be strict and sometimes scary, but he loves this job more than anything else. He never says it out loud to me, but anyone with an eye could see it. He pours his heart and soul into every word he says during performances— every action comes from his passion that I never had. ‘He should’ve been No. 1’
“Neigeee!” My thought was interrupted by someone calling for me making me stop in my tracks. When I looked back, it was Dominic running towards me with something in his hand. Thank the beautiful queen; I don’t think I can handle the other’s... quirks at the moment. “Have you heard?” He asked, almost expecting me to be excited about something before he shoved a piece of paper in my face. It was the annual VDC announcement. My face immediately lit up as I took the flyers from him. This is just the pick-me-up I needed! “Are you going to participate? This year the event is being held at—“
“Nrc?” I cut him off in a whisper as I read the flyer. It’s going to be at his school? I smile even wider at the realization. I can't believe it. I’m going to Vil’s school! I immediately turn and run to my room without telling Dominic why or responding to his call for me. I leaf him confused and probably concerned, but I don’t care. I’m just too excited to stand there and talk. There are so many things I have to prepare! We might meet as rivals in this event, but I’m giving it my all. It’s only fair, Vil would do the same, and there’s no way in hell I’m giving anything less than my best. It would simply be rude if I do anything less— disrespectful even! And I know Vil would think the same. That’s why I idolize him so much. He never let anyone stand in the way of being the very best in what he loves. Even if I don’t love this job anymore, I will never take a fair win away from him. I already don’t deserve to be No. 1. I’m not half-assing something just to let him win. I mean, Vil would hate me if I did so, and I don’t want my idol to do that.
Finally, I reached my dorm room, panting like a dog, but the adrenaline just kept rushing through my veins. I didn’t even notice how tired I actually am. “Where do I even start?” I asked myself to close my door and bolt toward my laptop. My mind is racing, I feel like my hands are shaking, and my heart is seriously going to jump out with how hard it’s pounding. “Sweet dear lord, I need to calm down,” I chuckled as I pulled my hair back, trying to breathe and get my excitement under control. I sit down at my work desk and turn on my laptop. First thing first, tell my manager of this if he doesn’t know already. I wouldn’t want to work hard on planning and don't get to go through with it. As I wait for his response, I begin to look up inspiration for the show
“What should I do?” I asked myself, looking through Magicam’s music tag and opening a notepad on the side to write my ideas. After the adrenaline died down, it felt like my brain went blank, like there was no idea in my head at all. “Come on, brain, you have to have some ideas,” I said to myself before I groaned and flopped onto the desk. “Why am I like this?” I look back up to the screen and scroll down the feed. There has to be something that sparks an idea. ‘Maybe I should’ve brought some snacks, ’ I thought, scrolling down faster just to keep my brain entertained and not immediately get distracted by the little things I suddenly got interested in. This has to be perfect. I can’t get distracted by watching every little video that pops up. ‘Would music help?’ I asked myself, then immediately shook my head, turning the idea down. ‘I would just spend hours trying to pick a song again’ I began to tap my fingers, hoping it would help me concentrate or maybe think of something.
Suddenly, something caught my eye. It was one of the productions Vil was a part of. This movie is years old now. It’s a musical movie about two rival band groups. I watched it, and it was good— I mean, of course, it was good. Vil was the lead’s rival. Then it hit me, what if that’s what I do? With some tweaks, I could make my own choreography and cover Vil’s song in the movie! And since Vdc has prize money, I could organize a tryout for the band members! “That’s it!” I sit back up straight as I quickly type out my idea and what I have to do for the production. This is going to be great!