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2014 Haruko.
The return trip from Tokyo was somber, yet tense.
Shoyo was wracked with frustration and a will to play that would no longer be fulfilled for the rest of the tournament.
It was dark and the air was prickly with the night winter chill. The bus was unloaded of its passengers and their luggage. There was nobody within Karasuno High School to greet them, as it was far into the sleeping hours. Shoyo chewed the inside of his cheek and lined up with the rest of his team, including Tobio, who had his own share of grief painted even on his permanent scowl of a face.
Coach Ukai began with a few, hushed words.
“…I don’t think it’s necessary to have a meeting in the gym at this hour. Go home and get some rest. We’ll resume with our practice next week and bounce back.”
The “yes, sir”s that followed were quiet as well, wary of the people living nearby, and seeped in the disappointment of the loss.
Shoyo grabbed his bike that he had left on the bike rack near the gym. He had hoped that it would stay locked there for far longer before he’d have to use it again, yet the ice had frozen over its handles, wheels, and gears. He shook and forced the bike to crack from the solid position of its brief slumber. There, he began to trudge along to the entrance gates of the school.
“…hey. ...dumbass.”
A low voice snapped Shoyo out of his trance, and he turned to meet eyes with the tall bastard that called out to him.
“…?”
“The ice. There’s ice all over the place,” Tobio could only grumble lowly.
“… and?” Shoyo sorely mumbled.
“You can’t bike up the mountain like this, dumbass. You’ll slip. And it’s dark.”
Shoyo turned away only to be silent.
“And if you get hurt, you can’t play. Find another way home.”
“Can’t. Don’t wanna wake my mom up…”
Kageyama gruffly sighed. Hinata was being stubborn and foolish, but part of Tobio could empathize with the feeling of not wanting to come home like this.
“Then… come to my place.”
So this was Kageyama’s house.
Shoyo watched as Tobio pushed in and twisted the jingling keys to the front door with slight curiosity. Once the door opened, they set foot into the dark entranceway and took off their shoes. Odd how Kageyama lives alone… doesn’t he get scared in such a big, empty house by himself?
“My sister lives in a dorm for her cosmetology school,” Tobio remarkably responded, as if he could hear Shoyo’s internal concern.
“Oh…” was all Shoyo could respond with. The house was clean, but sort of well lived in… as if a family used to reside here. Well, surely a family did, because this is the Kageyama home. But what about his parents…? How strange for there to now be nobody at all other than the two of them.
After the duo showered, one after the other, and dressed for bed, mostly in silence, Tobio laid out an extra futon for Shoyo to sleep in. He even wondered about the implications of setting it beside his bed. But it made sense to him. His room was spacious, and there was clearly an empty, suitable spot for a futon right next to his bed… perhaps for such an occasion. Tobio just hoped Shoyo wouldn’t say much, which he hadn’t been, seemingly due to his dismal mood.
“So I’m sleeping next to you, huh? Grindy-Teeth-yama?”
Tobio grit his poor teeth.
“Shut up! You wanna sleep outside, dumbass?!”
With the two in bed, Tobio shut off the lights with barely a “goodnight”. The apprehensive silence between two people who clearly had not fallen asleep yet lingered like a thickness in the air. Tobio could feel the words on the tip of Shoyo’s tongue. He held his breath, and wondered if he was going to say any more about the loss today.
“… is this your first sleepover, Kageyama…?” Shoyo softly whispered, in a voice almost too sweet.
“… hah? ” Tobio could only bark out.
“Has anyone else come to your place before me?”
“Tch… Why does that matter? Go to sleep.”
Tobio huffed as he turned to his side, facing the wall. He heard nothing in response from the ginger-haired nuisance, and assumed that that would be all for the night. Suddenly, Tobio felt an inkling of guilt for cutting Shoyo off due to the silence. It wasn’t like him to get so quiet after being yelled at. Usually he would fight back or say something, anything. Maybe Shoyo wanted to say something, and Tobio just forced him to shut up and go to slee-
Shuffling.
Before Tobio could turn or even move to react to the noise, he suddenly felt his blankets lift and a warmth press up against his back.
“What the hell-“
“Inarizaki got us good. They got even better than last time,” Shoyo grumbled, right next to Tobio, cramming him into the edge of his own bed.
“… yeah. Next time, we’ll crush them. But what the hell are you doing in my bed.”
“I was cold.”
“Get the hell off!”
“You want me to freeze?! You’re tall and stupid, so you generate enough body heat! And I need a furnace or heater of some sort!!”
“Go away, asshole!! Didn’t you call me ‘Grindy-Teeth-yama’ ?!”
Tobio wrangled with Shoyo, attempting to wrestle him off the bed from above. Shoyo could only giggle profusely, his eyes pinched shut and his face pointed upwards, exposing his neck. A missed sight from Tobio from the last few hours. And it was almost like a blessing to be able to barely see it in the dim moonlight at the first place. Tobio just huffed again as he turned to the wall in defeat. He just didn’t have the heart to tell him to go now.
That was all.
Shoyo pouted as he watched Tobio turn away from him in defeat. “Kageyama…” he whined. “Let’s talk about something… something other than volleyball for once. That’s what people do during sleepovers, right?” He looked straight ahead at the dark ceiling, slightly lit by the moonlight escaping the curtains. “Like?” Tobio’s muffled voice finally retorted.
“Erm… I dunno. What do you think about the new team..?”
“Isn’t that still about volleyball?”
“Urgh… Dammit…” Shoyo grit his teeth. He then turned head to the other side. “Then uh… What about… what do people talk about during sleepovers … um…” he muttered softly to himself.
Tobio, unbeknownst to Shoyo, was watching him with a curious expression.
“When was the last time you had a sleepover?” He simply asked.
“Hmm… maybe in middle school. With Izumin and Koji. Y'know, my middle school team-… buddies. But that was a while ago…”
“What did you talk about then?”
“Um…sports…”
”Ha. So it’s no different then, dumbass.” Tobio scoffed.
“Hmm, wait! Not yet… we talked about some other things too…”
“Like?”
Shoyo fell silent, clearly pondering his response. He knew exactly what they spoke of in middle school. Crushes . But those things were juvenile, middle school things. Bashful confessions of liking a certain someone that they knew they’d have no hope of getting with. Shoyo decided to shut his mouth regarding these things this time.
“What do you do during weekends when you don’t practice?” Shoyo finally, mundanely asked.
“… practice. By myself,” Tobio stated, as if it were obvious. Which it may have been in hindsight. Shoyo could feel his cheeks flush.
“And on the off chance you do something else?”
“…”
Silence. So he really doesn’t do anything else. Or maybe he just doesn’t bother to think about it that much. Shoyo knew that if he were asked the same question, he wouldn’t really know what to say either. He thought about volleyball 24/7. And if he wasn’t thinking about his own volleyball, he was thinking about other things volleyball. His number one hope was to get better and better. And maybe… his other hope would lie in…
Tobio and him.
Shoyo could laugh. It seems like whichever road he takes in this conversation somehow leads back to his feelings for Tobio.
Shoyo smiled softly.
“That’s fine, I guess. I’d be the same way. I guess we are just two volleyball idiots like everyone says.”
A long moment of silence.
“Your serves have gotten real good.”
Another.
“… thanks.” Tobio awkwardly responded, bewildered by the sudden, genuine compliment. “What’s this about?”
Shoyo could only smile and softly chuckle in return.
“How do you feel, now that we're in our second year?”
Tobio looked on with curious, cautious eyes.
“The same. Although… there is more responsibility, I guess. And people to rely on you,” he spoke slowly.
“That so?”
“I think… you’ve been changing the most rapidly,” Tobio admitted. Shoyo glanced over to the dark haired boy, curious by his statement. “You’re gotten calmer… less yappy… and you seem tougher, too. You’re more… stable. Like our captain was. But that’s not to say you’re as good at receiving as him-“ Tobio struggled to find the right words.
“ Pfft! That kind of sounded like a real compliment! Are you complimenting me, Bakageyama-kun?” Shoyo wistfully smiled and lightly hit Tobio’s shoulder.
“Don’t let it get to your head. You still need to work on serves and blocks-“
“Okay, okay… I heard’ja.”
Silence again.
“I’m happy,” the orange haired boy suddenly whispered. Tobio opened his mouth to wonder what such a vague statement entailed, but he simply continued listening instead.
Listening to Shoyo’s soft breathing next to him.
“You… you make me happy,” the ginger even managed to murmur.
“What?” Tobio sat up in an instant.
“ Huh ?” Shoyo croaked out.
The duo suddenly fell silent. Shoyo’s reddening face was thankfully obscured by the darkness.
“ I make you ha-“
“Your sets make me happy! Th-they’re super good!”
Tobio scowled, and laid back down again. “Tch, whatever.” He rolled back to face the wall again.
Shoyo pursed his lips into a rueful smile. He has to stop talking now. He has got to shut the hell up. At this point, all he’s doing is digging himself deeper.
“My sets make you happy, huh…”
Shoyo’s breathing became clearly labored, irregular and desperately quiet.
He sighed.
“Kageyama…” he began hushedly, turning to face the other. “What will you do after high school..?”
“Isn’t it a bit early to think about that?”
“… I’m just thinking about… when all of this ends.”
“All of what ends? You’ll keep playing, won’t you?”
“I mean… this. ”
Tobio finally turned around again, his dimly lit face showing that he didn't follow. The lump in Shoyo’s throat prevented him from elaborating, all he could do was helplessly, foolishly reach out and cling onto Tobio’s shirt with his hand.
Ever since the start of their second year, Shoyo had begun to think more seriously about his multiplying feelings for Tobio. It started the spring of last year and had only gotten worse over the months. Shoyo worried plenty about whether his feelings were reciprocated. He contemplated confessing within his high school years, not confessing at all, waiting until after graduation…
But his reoccurring fear laid in what would happen to the two of them after high school. What if… this is just a high school sensation, meant for high school? What if things become different after graduation?
How can Shoyo keep this?
What if Kageyama finds betters spikers… in better teams… and never bothers to think about Shoyo ever again…
This is the inevitable. Tobio is bound to leave the nest someday, as with everyone else in the team. So will Shoyo, but he supposed the thought of Tobio moving on without the consideration of wanting anything more with Shoyo pains him in a way he’d never imagine he’d feel.
what a silly and childish worry, but a horror nonetheless.
Shoyo typically wouldn’t worry about such a concept, but the crushing loss this day has thrown his heart into jeopardy.
“…’this’..?” Tobio mutteringly echoed, still unsure but treading lightly.
“… us,” Shoyo confirmed. “Karasuno. Our Karasuno. You and me’s Karasuno…”
“We won’t lose again.”
“Sure we won’t, but when we graduate…”
“You and I will play even more.”
“…”
“And you still have time with this Karasuno.”
After a long moment of silence, Tobio could hear Shoyo nod. He continued.
“…you’ll be stuck with me the entire run.”
“That’s…” Shoyo finally cracked a little smile. “That’s the way I want it.”
Tobio huffed a short laugh.
“You want it that way? With me?”
“Yeah. With you,” Shoyo murmured as he pulled in closer.
“Thought you’d say ‘I can’t stand being with you, I can’t wait until the day I can beat you!’ Or something like that…” Tobio mocked the ginger boy in a low, faint tone. Shoyo now had both his hands clinging onto Tobio’s shirt.
“You’re right. And… I also wanna be with you forever… volleyball or not,” Shoyo mustered out.
Tobio met his eyes for a few moments, mouth slightly agape.
He then reached for Shoyo’s back and pulled him in. Before Shoyo could react, Tobio tilted the other boy’s head with his other free hand and placed an unfeigned kiss on his lips. He could feel the air being squeezed out of Shoyo’s nose from the hastiness of the embrace. The soft little noise and jolt of exclamation. The ensuing returning squeeze and friction. The duo stayed in that position for what seemed like forever, until Shoyo was weakly patting Tobio’s shoulder, turning blue from lack of air.
When Tobio let go, Shoyo gasped.
“I win. And you could have just breathed with your nose,” Tobio whispered, leaning in again to collect his winning prize, seeing the color return to Shoyo’s cheeks. And Shoyo, with his flushed expression, laid in stupor, eyes wide. Tobio kissed him…
and he somehow kissed him first.
Shoyo growled and grabbed Tobio’s face with both hands.
“Beat this, dammit! I love you!” He proceeded to smash his lips against Tobio’s. The setter sputtered.
“Wh-what…?! Isn’t that kind of too soon?!”
“Don’t care, I’ve been ready to say it for a year and a half! I love you! I love you! I love you! I love you!”
“D-..dammit..! I.. I bet I love you even more, dumbass!”
“I love you, I love you, I love you, I love y-mphfhpmh!”
After around 30 minutes of kissing and shutting the other up with kisses, Shoyo and Tobio finally settled down with the latter laying on top of the former, his face looking down at the other’s.
“… even if you go somewhere higher than me, I’ll just chase you down,” Shoyo finally spoke. “I’ll beat you, and then I’ll keep you forever.”
Tobio smirked. “Sounds like you’re over me not being your setter anymore.”
Shoyo’s expression faltered, then melted into a soft, loving smile.
“Setter or not… I just wanted you to be mine.”