Chapter Text
Candide prided herself on her superior intellect. Besides her domineering personality and stellar work ethic, it was one of her favorite things about herself. She had had many outstanding ideas in her time. But this? This was her best idea yet.
She held two shining mechanical orbs in the palm of her hand, one gold and white, the other silver and green. She had planted two lab-created superbeams into them that would activate at the right clone’s touch. She cackled to herself, looking at the glistening hunk of metal in front of her, and let the power in her hands fly away to seek out their companions. Her hands came together in conniving glee.
This was going to be magical .
Frida Kahlo walked dejectedly across town, broken skateboard in hand. She supposed it was only a matter of time until it happened ‒ she had had this old thing since 6th grade ‒ but that didn’t make it hurt any less. And of course it had to break on her way to school, and she’d be late. That wasn’t too big of a deal, but walking in instead of skateboarding in was going to be humiliating.
Her thoughts were interrupted as a car beeped next to her.
Cleopatra was sitting in a fancy creme convertible, although it’s 2000s status made it look a bit dated. Her annoyed eyes met Frida’s, but she looked almost… sympathetic? Something was up.
“Hey Cleo.” The other girl’s eyebrows narrowed. “Get in.” she said tersely, turning towards the road ahead of her. Disbelief crossed Frida’s face, her brow cocking to one side in skepticism. “What?” She was met with an almost-embarrased glare. “I said , get in the car.” They stared at each other for a moment before Frida cautiously opened the door to the passenger’s seat and sat down on the white leather. As soon as she closed the door, Cleo slammed her foot down on the gas, definitely breaking the speed limit. Her pinned up hair threatened to fall apart, but she held the flowers in position and watched the world race by.
Frida wondered what had gotten into Cleo. She had never done anything like this before; in fact, she had always gone out of her way to be rude to her. She suspected it was because of jealousy. Even though Cleo was pretending like she didn’t exist as she kept her eyes pinned to the road, the fact of the matter remained: she had done something nice for Frida. And she was incredibly suspicious.
Then she was hit square in the unibrow by a glowing ball.
An agitated “OW!” came from the driver’s seat, the car skidding to the side with Cleo’s jolt. Hurriedly she pulled over, not bothering to check if where she was parking was legal or not. As Frida rubbed her forehead she looked down at the perpetrator, now resting in her lap. The cracks between it’s mechanical parts glowed green. She saw from the corner of her eye that her charitable chauffeur was transfixed by her own attacker; it was identical, but gold-plated and emitting white light. They looked at each other, bewildered. What even-
At that moment, an ear-shattering screech emitted from both at the same time, causing both girls to scream and cover their ears. “CALIBRATING TO CLONE INFORMATION,” a robotic voice sounded over it all, and then the overload was over. The two were silent for a moment, until Frida spoke. “What the fuck was that?”
“Sin malas palabras, perraquita!”
Both of their heads snapped to the floating mechanical cat being that was now in front of them. It was blinding white, with one silver and one gold eye, and it had two tails. It stared at Frida expectantly. Cleo looked at the thing, dumbfounded. “What?”
".أخبرتها أن تصمت."
The other girl’s jaw dropped. Now it was Frida’s turn to be confused. Cleo seemed in shock as she spoke. “It speaks… arabic?”
“And spanish, apparently.”
“I was programmed to speak in your native language to put you more at ease.” It spun in the air a few times, seeming to adjust to it’s new, non-ball form. “My name is MahouBot, but you may call me MB. Before you can say anything, allow me to explain. I have been sent from… god… to find two exemplary young clones who have the internal power to fight the impending Edid-Nac. It is a clone gone wrong and has transformed into a powerful mechanical beast, and it’s up to you to stop it! Any questions?” Frida and Cleo simultaneously opened their mouths, only to be interrupted by a booming voice and an earthquake.
“I will destroy this feeble town! Feel my wrath, for I am Edid-Nac!”
MB beamed maliciously. “Speak of the devil! Are you ready to be magical girls?” Both clones tried to speak, but were cut off. “Great! To transform, hold hands and put your magic watches out in front of you, and the recycled-animation transformation sequence will automatically start!”
Frida looked down at her hand to see a flower-adorned watch already on her wrist. How did that…? What? Confused, she stood up in the car and reached out to grab Cleo’s hand. The other girl jerked it away from her. “Frida, what are you doing? Are you insane?” She shrugged in bewilderment. “I think we just have to go with it, girl.” Cleo pondered for a moment, then pursed her lips and obliged. As soon as they held out their watches like MB told them to, Frida felt her control leave her body, and soon her mouth was moving by itself.
“Earth, let’s bloom!”
She was then flung through a whirlwind of flowers and colors and sparkles, numbing her senses and leaving her mind a clouded mess. A phantom orchestra played in the background. She could barely feel her clothes changing, bright pops of light appearing and disappearing on her body. It was all a complete sensory overload, and yet a minute later she came back into consciousness. The first thing she fully registered was Cleo’s voice calling out against the swelling music.
“The soaring sky of a bright future, Magical Heaven!”
A storm of glitter exploded behind the other girl, revealing her transformed state. She was covered in shining white and gleaming gold, with star shapes and flowing fabrics adorning her outfit. She looked… really good. Her attention was diverted by the sound of her own voice and her now-moving body.
“The solid stone of a blossoming present, Magical Earth!”
She could see flowers blooming out from behind her as she struck a very anime pose. What were these lines, and these cheesy names?
“We are the Clone Guardians!”
Finally the music came to a triumphant end, and Frida regained control of her own body. She shook herself out with relief. “Man, what was that?” She let out a laugh, trying to hide her own internal panic. “Right Cleo?”
Cleo stayed silent, staring at her in awe. Her mouth hung open, probably just in shock at all that was happening. “Cleo?” she repeated. It then occurred to her that she had also transformed, and her eyes shot down to look at the green and silver outfit that had appeared on her body. It was similar to the other girl’s, but thankfully hers came with shorts instead of a skirt. Her hair was also longer, with twin braids now wrapped around her buns, daisies in her hair, and petal-like lace in place of Cleo’s flowing fabric. She took a moment to take her new partner’s transformed look in. She was always pretty, of course, but… man. Angelic. Heavenly, even.
She shook herself out of whatever state she was in and turned towards the approaching mech. It was massive and made out of heavy-looking metal, and it was terrorizing the residents of the town. They watched as it picked up a familiar-looking cotton-candy-haired girl.
“Harriet!” Frida turned to Cleo, determination in her eyes. “We have to save her.”
She groaned. “Do we have to? This outfit is kind of embarrassing.”
MB piped up from the car behind them, flying towards Cleo. “I’ve chosen to ignore that insult to my fashion design skills. But you won’t have to worry about that anyway. I’ve coded a system into your magic that will make your faces unrecognizable, even to close friends! And I would start calling each other Heaven and Earth ‒ your identities have to remain a secret.”
Frida rolled her eyes. “Very Miraculous Ladybug , isn’t it?”
“Actually, it’s inspired by the Pretty Cure anime.” MB replied quickly. “My creator is very fond.”
“I thought your creator was god?” Frida remarked, smirking.
“Well- you know. Not literally. Though she is godlike to me.”
“She? Man, Ariana Grande was right.”
Cleo’s eyes darted between the two, flabbergasted. “What the fuck is an anime?”
“ Anyway ,” MB cleared it’s metaphorical throat, “I would get on with the fighting. Edid-Nac is approaching swiftly, and your little friend Harriet seems to be in danger.” Frida’s head spun around just in time to see Harriet being locked in a floating mechanical jailcell.
Without thinking, she raced forward, going a lot faster than she thought she could, and jumped over the havoc-wreaking robot. It barely saw her coming before receiving a devastating kick to the head. Its helmet cracked, and its violet eyes shone with rage. Frida launched herself off of its head, grabbing hold of Harriet’s floating jailcell. They made eye contact, but Frida realized the look in her eyes was one of unfamiliarity. She didn’t recognize her. MB wasn’t kidding about the face blindness thing. “Woah, who the heck are you?”
“I- um- you can call me Magical Earth,” she responded, fiddling with the padlock. Harriet began to say something else before a metal claw grabbed Frida and sent her flying into a brick wall. Pain exploded throughout her back, but it quickly subsided ‒ she must have some sort of resistance ability. She stared down the mechanical beast, rolling up her metaphorical sleeves. She was a magical girl superhero thing, so she must have some sort of special power or weapon, right? She held out her hand, and just as she suspected, a silver staff materialized in it’s grasp. Now what was she meant to do with this?
She didn’t have time to wonder as another metal arm began careening towards her, and she jumped out of the way. Well, here goes nothing.
Frida pointed the staff at Edid-Nac and a flower-shape of glowing energy began to form at the end of it. She felt her body being taken over again by the powers that be, and she remained suspended in the air with the power of anime physics.
“Blooming earthquake!”
The shot that fired from her staff hit her opponent square in the head, leaving the earth below ruptured. The knockback sent her flying, all of her energy drained. She then realized that she was falling with no way to stop herself. Her eyes screwed shut in panic.
Then she felt her fall stop abruptly, and gloved hands wrapped around her. She was being carried. She opened her eyes to see her new partner lowering her onto the ground, golden outfit gleaming against the morning sunlight. “Cle- uh, Magical Heaven! Thank you!” Cleo huffed and looked away, embarrassed at her own decision. “I couldn’t let you take on all this alone.”
MB appeared between them, a conniving grin spread across it’s face. “Psst! The enemy is weakened! Put your Sunshine Staffs together!” Frida smirked in Cleo’s direction, pointing her ‘Sunshine Staff’ towards the sky. “Wanna touch tips?” Cleo rolled her eyes, but crossed her staff with Frida’s. A shining spark emitted from the action, and they felt themselves being forced into another cutscene.
“Clone Guardian! Shooting Sunshine Blast!”
They traced the shape of a heart with their staffs, leaving a sparkly outline in its wake. Then they pointed the staffs towards Edid-Nac, sending the heart-shaped projectile at it and pushing it into the sky. All the trapped townsfolk were released, being lowered gently to the ground and put to sleep. Convenient.
“NOOO! MY ONLY WEAKNESS! FRIENDSHIP!” The mechanical beast cried, flying off into the distance like Team Rocket.
Cleo looked offended at that. “Friendship? With this loser?” She pointed to Frida. “As if.”
Frida smiled knowingly. “I don’t think you hate me as much as you think you do, Cle-Cle.”
“Don’t call me that.”
“Ok, alright. Shall we finish that carpool, worst enemy of mine?”
Cleo scoffed, loudly. “Fine. But we are never talking about it again.”
“As you wish, my liege.”
Confucius pressed the record button on his phone, ending the video he had just taken. That was fucking insane. He was going to try and rescue his girl Harriet, but then he saw those crazy superhero girls kick ass out there! Since they had the situation covered he had to get a video. The approaching police sirens were too loud to hear what they were talking about at the end there, but it didn’t matter. If this didn’t make him go viral, nothing would.
He pressed post.