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It all starts when he is out with Pavitr and Hobie.
It’s one of those rare nights when Gwen decides to prioritize studying over their usual hang out session – she has finals, after all. Which had never stopped her from hanging out before, for a second. She was trying to prove to Miles that she is serious about studying (she was absolutely not).
But, the night was nice. They chose this obscure pub in downtown where Hobie used to rehearse and play, set on having a couple of beers while having their usual spider-talks.
Or, rather, we’re men first and sometimes we’re stupid talks.
“I don’t understand why she was so mad!” Pavitr exclaims in exasperation, throwing his hands in the air dramatically.
Hobie chuckles. “Because you’re an idiot and Gayatri is a saint woman,” he says as he sips on his beer.
Pavitr gives him a death stare, refocusing his gaze on Miles now with a silent plea.
“I mean, I think she just wants your attention, dude,” Miles says sheepishly, making Hobie let out a whistling sound and leaving Pavitr groaning loudly.
“Great, now there are both of you,” Pavitr clicks his tongue. “I cannot just quit the guard of the city and it was a one missed performance.”
From Miles’ limited knowledge of the situation, Gayatri was a pianist, and took her performances very close to heart. One of those were two days ago – Gwen, him, and Hobie all were there, except for Pavitr who was still part of Headquarters and was assigned a mission last minute.
“It was important to her, as a musician I would be mad too,” Hobie retorts.
Paviter narrows his eyes in suspicion. “What do you know, you don’t even have a girlfriend. Or boyfriend. Anyone, actually.”
Hobie shrugs. “I am fine with being on my own.”
Miles smiles to himself, thinking if he should add fuel to the fire. “Haven’t you gone out with that boy from your favorite coffee place recently?” He decides to contribute to the chaos after one-second internal debate in his head.
“I am fine with being on my own ,” Pavitr mimics with a sly smile on his face.
Hobie turns to Miles and gives him a dissatisfied look. “Fuck you, dude,” he grunts, taking another sip of his beer.
“My friend Miles gets me,” Pavitrs coos, leaning into Miles’ side and bumping him with his shoulder. “Though it’s probably different with Gwen now.”
Miles freezes in his place. “What do you mean?” He asks cautiously, remembering he has a drink in front of him too. It’s a ginger ale and it’s alcohol free – Miles still didn’t like the burning taste of it.
Taste buds of a baby, Gwen would tease him.
“Like, you still are in an 'awkward talks' stage, you know?” Pavitr leads on, grinning at him.
Miles arches an eyebrow. “Awkward talks stage?”
He searches for Hobie’s gaze for support but the latter just shrugs at that. “Yeah, everyone has this.”
“There is nothing awkward about our relationships,” Miles mutters. Yeah, being in a relationship was rather new to him, and there were a lot of things he had to learn on the go – for example, how getting flowers is not only about flowers as his mother explained – but, aside from that he and Gwen were more than fine. “It’s been actually going pretty great since she quit the headquarters.”
“No one argues that it’s great, my friend,” Pavitrs says reassuringly.“We’re just saying you’re at the initial stage where you explore certain topics.”
Miles rolls his eyes. “Like what?”
“Like sex.”
“Hobie!” Pavitr shushes him, as if it’s something forbidden to talk about.
Hobie blinks at him innocently. “What?”
“I was meaning the ‘Can I use the l-word already or is it too soon’ talk,” Pavitr explains, gesticulating vividly.
“‘Talking about what to do if they want to move in’ talk,” Hobie adds.
Miles gulps audibly at that. “Move in?”
“Who is ‘I cook’ and who is ‘I clean’ person,” Pavitr ignores him, going on with his list.
“What do you both consider quality time?” Hobie suggests.
“Stop!” Miles shouts, making them both shake in laughter. “It’s… we’re good without it, okay?” He insists, gulping his ginger ale in two big sips. His hands feel sweaty on the cold glass, making it feel too slippery – good thing his spider powers are there.
“You cannot be 'good without it' because it's a stage, dummy," Pavitr smiles. "Nothing wrong with that, everyone goes through it."
"He's kinda right, folk," Hobie agrees, not leaving Miles any support.
Pavitr scoots closer to him, hugging Miles by the shoulders in an attempt to calm him down. "I am sure it will be smooth though. You're almost as perfect as me and Gayatri."
Hobie rolls his eyes and scoffs loudly. "Gayatri is perfect. You're not."
"And you still love me," Pavitr lets go of Miles to pinch Hobie cheeks but the latter catches his hand midway, making Miles laugh in relief – he is happy they are letting go of the topic.
He really hopes he does not overthink it too much.
*
He still overthinks this during one of their date nights with Gwen.
They’ve come up with this little game where they show each other pieces of media that do not exist in their own universes – Miles still was deeply flabbergasted about Gwen not having ninja turtles in her dimension.
This evening Gwen was showing him this very popular show – according to her, at least – Succession.
“I don’t understand the premise,” Miles blabbers, munching on his popcorn. Even though Miles is the artist in this relationship, he is very used to Gwen introducing him to rather odd themed movies and series.
“I think it’s pretty straightforward,” Gwen explains, taking a handful of popcorn from the basket on Miles’ knees and shoving it into her mouth.
“This is just about rich white billionaires,” Miles leads on, looking at an extremely old guy looking like he is having a stroke and his children surrounding him. “Seriously, is there a single person of color in the show?”
“I think that’s the point Miles,” Gwen rolls her eyes. “It’s a comedy.”
“Where?”
“You just need to get to season two,” Gwen shushes him, but from the corner of his eyes he sees how there is a faint smile on her lips.
The room fills with the music as the start credits roll in. Miles can hear piano, strings, and some kind of lower beats. “The intro slaps tho,” he hums, thinking that he probably would want it on a record.
Gwen’s laughter layers over the music and Miles thinks it’s the prettiest sound in the world. “You’re silly,” she giggles.
“That’s why you like me,” Miles shrugs.
“Unfortunately, I do,” Gwen says softly, grabbing the remote and stopping the show as she leans for a kiss.
It starts slow and gentle, as it usually does. With Miles softly cupping her cheek, and Gwen smiling into the kiss seconds after. Miles pulls her closer by her waist, making her stumble a little as she falls on top of him. They both giggle softly in their kiss, and suddenly, Miles is very aware how close their bodies are.
Not like their making out sessions didn’t get rather heated lately – it is a usual occurrence. But something indulged Miles overthinking the ‘awkward talks’ stage which Pavitr brought in, making him very aware of all the advances that he was trying to make.
He curses silently under his breath, blaming Pavitr and Hobie for forcing him to think about this instead of making out with his beautiful girlfriend. He gently pulls Gwen away. “So, you know how everyone thinks we had sex?”
To be fair, in his head it sounded better.
“Wow, what a start, Morales,” Gwen groans, but there is laughter in her voice. “And who is everyone?” She asks with a smirk on her lips as she brings herself back to a sitting position, resting one of her elbows on the head of the couch to prop her chin.
“Most importantly, your dad,” Miles starts counting. “All of our friends. Peter.”
Gwen gapes. “Peter?”
“Last week he was talking to me about the dangers of teen pregnancies.”
“Trust me, I am more than aware of the dangers of teen pregnancies,” Gwen rolls her eyes.
Miles fidgets with the sleeves of his hoodie nervously, not really sure how he wants to approach the topic. The room suddenly gets very heated, and not because Gwen decided to hold his hand.
“You sure you're alright?” She asks carefully as she squeezes his fingers gently.
“Yeah, yeah, it’s just–” Miles takes a deep breath. Here goes nothing . “I’m not– you know. I mean–”
“Miles.” Gwen takes his other hand in hers and makes him look at her. “Relax. It’s chill if you’re not ready. Or don’t want this at all. I know, this girl, Becky, from college, she’s ace and–”
“No, it’s not that,” Miles shakes his head frantically. “No offense to this Becky, she is very valid, of course,” he adds quickly. “I just– definitely want, you know.”
God kill me please.
“That’s good to hear,” Gwen huffs a laugh. “Then what is it?”
“Have you–” Miles clears his throat before continuing. “Have you ever done that?”
Gwen tilts head curiously. “Done what?”
Miles gives her a pleading look. “Gwen.”
“Okay, okay,” she raises her arms in the air in defense. “But yeah– I guess?”
“Oh,” Miles breathes out.
He was about ninety-nine percent sure Gwen had more experience than him. But, one thing is to have it in your head unconfirmed, and the other is having her say it with her own mouth. And, obviously, Miles wasn’t a douchebag – he thought it was completely fine and normal. Just a tint of jealousy cradling somewhere inside as he tried to imagine that.
“It was a few months after you… disappeared, you know?” Gwen starts, in a much more serious voice now. It was always difficult for them to talk about that period, even after months of reuniting again. “I didn’t have anyone left, and felt so fucking lonely, and there was this girl – Maya – we kind of hooked up for a little while. Nothing serious, though, she wasn’t looking for anything serious as well,” she reassures quickly. “I think I just didn’t want to face all of those nights all on my own.”
“Sorry,” Miles mumbles. He knows his decision to distance himself was necessary but after getting back with Gwen he did feel guiltiness taking over from time to time.
“Not your fault, I deserved it, to some extent,” Gwen chuckles bitterly.
“It would be a first for me,” Miles admits, closing his eyes shut in embarrassment. “I’ve never–” His breath hitches and he feels his cheeks getting on fire. “Never done that before. I mean, I tried going out with this girl, Jennie. And then this guy, Henry, asked me out a few months after that – which was nice, you know – but, still, it never–” he tries to exhale slowly, pacing out his breath.“I only got you on my mind no matter how hard I tried to deny that.”
“Same for me,” Gwen whispers, and Miles can’t help but smile. He pulls her into a hug, tucking her head under his chin. “Miles, it’s gonna be awkward no matter what and it’s okay. I am not gonna dump you just because you’re not good at sex.”
“Ouch,” Miles winces. “And I am not good yet. ”
“Anyways,” he feels as Gwen laughs and takes the remote back in her hand. “It’s definitely not happening today so let’s just continue watching rich people having issues.”
Miles scrunches his nose. “They are so white it blinds my eyes.”
Gwen shakes her head at that, pressing the play button. “Just now that I am ready when you’re ready, Miles,” she says quietly, with her voice drowning in the sounds of the TV.
Maybe Pavitr and Hobie were right. It's not gonna be that bad.
*
The second time he overthinks it occurs a week after that.
Miles sits on the bed of his own apartment, watching as Gwen gathers her things up, preparing to leave. Since she started to play drums again, the rehearsals of her band continued every week from now on, and they usually were held somewhere during weekends.
Which Miles, quite truthfully, didn’t really like. Not because he wasn’t happy Gwen started playing again – he was very supportive about it. What he did find a problem with was them having one less day together during weekends.
"You really have to go?" He asks with a pout on his lips.
“We have a performance next week, I have to rehearse,” Gwen throws over her shoulders, as she packs some of her clothes and things into a backpack.
Miles groans. "On weekends?"
"That's one of rare times when all of us are free," she says guiltily as she zips up her bag. Gwen looks up and pauses, nibbling her lower lip. "You okay?"
"Yeah," Miles replies meekly, drawing loose circles on the blanket of his bed with his finger. He didn’t know how to bring it up in the best way possible, without sounding obsessive or crazy or way too protective.
Gwen still deserves to hang out with people without him and he really was happy for her, it’s just this annoying and unpleasant feeling, swooshing over his head every time she made plans that countered their own plans.
"Miles," she sighs, sitting on the edge of the bed. "You sound angry. Are you angry?"
"No," Miles says confidently, trying to figure out what he was feeling. "Sad. I am sad,” he says conclusively, still avoiding her gaze.
Gwen purses her lips. "We spend almost the whole week together, except for Wednesday and Sunday now."
That was true – and what made Miles feel so guilty in the first place. "Yeah, but it was only after school and in-between our duties and–"
"You wanted a whole day with me," Gwen finishes his thought for him.
Miles looks up at her with eyes full of hope mixed with guilt.
“It's okay,” she reassures him softly. “Just means your understanding of quality time is a bit different.”
Miles winces in pain. Embarrassing.
"Don't worry, it's perfectly fine!" Gwen exclaims, scooting herself closer and bringing her hand up to softly caress his cheek. "I'll just make sure I free up at least one of the days on weekends to be with you."
Miles leans in into the touch, backing his face against her hand even more. "It's not obsessive?"
"Of course not," Gwen smiles. “It's actually very cute.”
"Shut up," he groans, taking her hand away and pulling her even closer. "A kiss before you go?"
Gwen clicks with her tongue but gives in, leaning in. Her lips feel warm and a little chapped, so he decides to soothingly slide his tongue over her lower lip, making her gasp a little.
"Miles, I really need to go," she laughs into his lips, giving a last squeeze to his knee and standing up from the bed. "See you!" With that she enters the coordinates in her bracelet and disappears into the portal.
Maybe ‘awkward talks stage’ was a thing, after all.
*
The third time hits not even two days after that, the day when Miles had dinner with Gwen’s father for the first time.
The situation itself occurs only after the dinner, though, Miles and Gwen having a snack while enjoying the view from one of the highest point in the city.
“This is good,” Gwen mumbles with her mouth full. They both have been so nervous during the dinner that they barely ate, basically starving after they got back to Miles’ dimension.
“Hope so,” Miles huffs, taking a bite of his sandwich. It was a place his father recommended to him once, and he has been going there ever since. “How did you think it went?”
“Good enough,” Gwen nods, taking a napkin to wipe the sauce from the corner of her lips. “The fact that my father didn’t run a whole background check on you before talking to you again is overall impressive.”
“I could have been a serial killer in your dimension, you know,” Miles wiggles his eyebrows suggestively.
Gwen gives him a push to the shoulder. “Not funny. Especially after the whole random appearance on the porch of our house after I stayed the night over.”
“I am the sole reason for him thinking we have sex, I remember,” Miles rolls his eyes, making Gwen gasp in exasperation. “And the possibility of me being a serial killer in your dimension is low, I agree.”
“Low, but never zero.”
Miles puts his hand over his chest in a faux surprise. “What do you think of me?”
“Says the guy who is literally a version of Prowler on Earth forty-two,” Gwen notes rightfully, taking a sip from her coke as she looks back at him.
“I’d be scared to have you as an enemy,” Miles’ lips twitch in a smirk.
But he did believe that – Gwen is a fierce opponent, even when they sprint with each other just for fun (she kicked his ass more than once he is just too embarrassed to admit it).
“Thank you,” she plays into dramatism and bows a little.
“So, you enjoy your boyfriend being afraid of you?”
“You’re an idiot, Miles,” Gwen rolls her eyes. “But, I love you, so I guess it’s my cross to bear now.”
Miles’ whole body freezes. For a second he contemplates if he even heard that correctly – she must have said like, right?
Right?
Gwen shifts in her place – Miles guesses she got taken aback by the silence. “Should I-" she sucks in a breath -“have not said that?”
“No, no,” Miles denies swiftly, shaking his head. “It’s just– it was so casual?”
Gwen frowns. “I thought I was being pretty obvious about how I feel about you?” It sounds more like a question as she says that tentatively.
Miles breathes in and out fast – he was definitely not prepared for that.
Gwen sighs. “Okay, what’s wrong?”
“The other day, with Hobie and Pavitr,” Miles starts, watching as Gwen’s expression shifts to an annoyed one.
“I knew I should have come along that day,” she mutters.
“It’s nothing incremental,” Miles rambles through the mush of the words in his head. “They just said this thing, about the ‘awkward talks’ stage of the relationship,” he goes on, smiling to himself at instant. “Okay, it does sound dumb when I say this out loud.”
“No, please, continue. I want to hear more,” Gwen huffs in amusement.
“Like, how every couple has those questions that are settled very awkwardly,” Miles suggests, shrinking in his place.
Gwen glances at him judgingly.
“To be fair, we had some of those,” Miles adds with a hinge of embarrassment in his voice.
Gwen opens her eyes wide. “Really?”
“Yeah,” Miles nods. “Like, talking about sex. And quality time. And dinner with our parents.”
“I assume that's not all,” the corner of her mouth curls knowingly.
“Who cooks and who cleans,” Miles continues, much quieter. The more he talks, the sillier it sounds.
“Neither of us.”
“Which dimension to choose if we want to move in together?”
“That’s a bit too far-fetched, but I don’t care as long as it’s not Brooklyn.”
Miles gasps offensively. “How dare you?”
Gwen just laughs this off swaying her head to the side. “Anything else?”
“I love you too, Gwen,” Miles whispers softly. It sounds so light and easy on his tongue, as if he hasn’t asked Gwen just a few minutes ago about it being too casual.
Her gaze weavers, but she manages to keep her expression still, only giving him a warm smile in reply. "See? Not so awkward," she nudges him in his arm gently. "But it's okay if it was, you know? Don't overthink it."
Miles wants to – but something hefty still seems to heave over his soul, taking it bit by bit. "After all we went through I just want for it to be perfect," Miles admits.
"And it won't be," Gwen shrugs. "We will fight. Yell at each other sometimes. Hold grudges.”
"Very optimistic," Miles rolls his eyes.
"I didn't finish," she points with a finger at him, poking his chest. "But there will be a lot of good things as well. It's already perfect just because it's us."
It’s so straightforward and easy, and does not really make sense at first – there is nothing simple about Gwen and Miles. But, if he really thinks about it, after all the things they went through, being together must be the easiest and clearest thing they’ve ever had. "That simple, huh," Miles huffs.
Gwen leans in, nose almost bumping into his face. “Would be even simpler if you just kissed me now,” she whispers, brushing his lips softly.
And Miles is more than happy to obey.