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the dust and debris crunching beneath footsteps echoed throughout my head. By now I would have half-expected my brain to filter out Woojin’s approach as a normal occurrence, but somehow he still managed to surprise me.
“What’s wrong?” Woojin asked, his voice pulling me out of a daze. The question feels almost unreal, as if any answer would suffice.
Woojin sat himself down beside me, his body mirroring mine; the only difference being his orientation and the fact that his legs were spread out, his left arm behind him, supporting his weight.
Neither of us knew just how long I been sitting there; My mind near static moments before.
“Hyung, I think I’ve become a bloodhound.”
I had managed to catch my breath after the fight, but my exhales still sounded like i was gasping for air. There was silence for a moment.
“Gunwoo-ya,” he clicked his tongue, "have you forgotten about the heart of a boxer.” Woojin slid his body further down the pavement, settling closer to my knees. “All we have to do is find our way back.”
“What?”
“Let’s go back. Together.”
His eyes were caring, truly caring. They beamed with both adoration and hope. The type of sincerity you can’t only hope to come across once in a lifetime.
I gave it a moment of thought before responding.
“Mhm.” My eyes stung as my lips turned into a strained smile.
We sat there like that for some time. His eyes never left me. I could tell Woojin was studying me for any signs of panic.
I was the easily overwhelmed type, but silence was not my go-to reaction to it. When shit got real scary, He called it: ‘Gunwoo’s state of shock’, as opposed to my usual, ‘hyperventilate and sob’ approach.
After some time, I spoke up.
“I hurt a lot of people woojin-ah. I know they deserved it but still i-“ I was cut off by my own sob.
Woojin placed shifted his weight into his right arm, and placed his left on my Shoulder.
“You haven’t done anything wrong. I know right now it really feels like it but I promise you’re still the gunwoo that I met at that rookie of the year fight. You’re the same guy who requests rib-eye for every meal. You're still just as kind and full of life as the first day I met you.”
If Woojin’s heart faltered, he didn't show it to me. His smile was real and slightly pained.
It was so much simpler then. Never in My life did I think it would end up this way. That I would have dragged Woojin this far into this. I resisted the urge to wince as the morning breeze blew cold air into my fresh gashes.
I tried to match his hopeful gaze but I just couldn’t. I couldn't meet his eyes because no matter how hard i tried, I couldn't believe him.
“Ya! Gunwoo-ya!” He punched my shoulder with no real heat behind it. “Have I ever lied to you?”
I shook my head fighting back a grin.
It was like he could read my mind. Seemingly no matter what it was, he knew a way around it. A way to calm the storm.
“That’s what I thought.” He grasped the side of my face with his left hand, averting my gaze directly at him. While before I couldn't bear to face him, I could now no longer look away.
Woojin was beautiful. Of course. That was never something I thought a human being could deny. But in this light, there was something even more enchanting about him. Every inch of his face felt perfect. The scars, the bruises (some new, some old), the faint lines that traced his smile, all of it.
Woojins face growing closer only gave me a better view. In that moment, I could confidently tell you it was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.
Before I knew it his lips had slotted against mine. It wasn't perfect, infact far from it. His lips tasted of blood- as I’m sure mine did in return. I could feel the cracks in his lips. But those things didn’t come close to the feeling that pooled in my stomach. Total focus on this moment. It was the most surreal thing I’d ever felt, which says a lot considering all the injuries he has sustained in this life.
A cool shiver made its way down my back, a heat settling in my cheeks. He kissed me hard, but I kissed back harder. Inexperience aside, If my face was made for one thing I was sure it was this. It was a task I hadn't given much thought. Something I didn't know I wanted but now I never wanted to give it up.
The sun had begun to rise sometime ago, but I couldn't be bothered. It’s cool blue light washing over the scene. We broke apart after another 10 seconds. It felt both painfully long and unreasonably short. I opened my eyes only to see Woojin smiling up at me. His hand had found a comfortable spot at the base of my jaw, just below my ear; His pointer finger rested above it.
A sense of understanding washed over us both. What was probably a mixture of relief at the lack of clear rejection, and the expression of pent up emotion.
He laughed, leaning back in. Suddenly, I was at peace. My heart was beating a mile a minute, but instead of anxiety taking the blame, it was excitement. Excitement for what this meant going forward. I didn’t want to think about it too hard, opening some doors that were hard to shut here and now. I decided to just let myself have this. To be here in this moment; true calm surrounding my entire being.
Woojin ran his hand down the lengt of my jaw, parting from my body at my neck. He pushed himself up off the ground and whiled the gravel off of his hands and onto his pants. “Here.”
I allowed myself to be pulled off the ground. Thousands of emotions circled my mind, with that came a thousand questions; but right now, We had shit to do.