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Dear Diary,
It’s been three days since I arrived at the Burrow for the remainder of summer, and it’s lovely as always. Well, mostly lovely. I’m probably overreacting and letting my emotions get the better of me, but I suppose that’s what this is for, right? To write down all my insecurities so I can forget them and go about my days as though I don’t have a care in the world?
Ha. If only that were true. Being Harry Potter’s best friend makes that a little complicated. Well, that paired with me being a Muggleborn and therefore placing a nice, big target on my back…
But that’s not what this entry is supposed to be about. It’s about…well…I feel like Ron’s been ignoring me since I got here.
It’s so odd. He’s never acted like this before. He’s one of my best friends and the person I’m closest to and—I’m probably just being silly. After all, he’s the one who invited me. But it just seems…I don’t know.
My days here have been spent mostly with Ginny. Whether we’re relaxing in her room or helping Mrs. Weasley with chores, Ron’s rarely around. He usually joins us when we’re spending the afternoons outside under the shade of my favorite willow tree on the property, but not for very long. To be honest, I thought I’d be spending more time with him, especially in the evenings with him in his room.
Wait, that came out wrong. I didn’t mean it like—okay, maybe I did. But only a little. Alright, alright, I was holding a lot of hope out for that. But not just for THAT! Only because I may be unequivocally, hopelessly, in love with him and want to be alone so he could kiss me…if he wanted to, that is.
I need to get a grip. I blame all of last year. We’ve been growing closer and that clearly hasn’t helped this stupid crush either. Spending extra time together on Prefect rounds or when Harry was in detention (which was A LOT) kept making my heart do all of these silly flip flops. Not to mention any time our hands would accidentally brush and I’d all but stop breathing while hoping he’d casually lace his fingers with mine.
Of course, that never happened. Because as I’ve been spiraling deeper and deeper into these ridiculously strong feelings for him, he sees me as nothing more than a friend.
Maybe less than a friend now…
It’s not me, though. I know it’s not. It’s her . It has to be her. Fleur Delacour. Ugh. Why did she have to come stay for the summer too? Can’t she find her own place? I don’t understand.
I mean, I guess I do, but still. When Ginny owled to tell me Fleur and Bill were engaged, I dropped the letter in shock. It just seemed so…sudden. And instead of them getting their own place, she’s staying at the Burrow? Even when Mrs. Weasley clearly can’t stand her?
And she doesn’t take the hint either! She simply glides around the place, making faces when she’s expected to help out, criticizing the food as ‘too fattening’, and turning on her stupid Veela charm.
Come on. She’s already found her Weasley, so what’s she doing it for? The power trip? To feel good about herself? Yes, because having a sixteen year old drooling over you is whatever every of-age witch wants. Ugh. Ron’s been spending all day, every day trying to impress her and get her to notice him that he’s not even giving me, his FRIEND THAT HE INVITED TO STAY AT HIS HOUSE, the time of day.
Even right now, he’s outside feeding the chickens, and she just came out to hang up her wash and he just stopped what he’s doing to stare at her. Oh, good. It looks like a chicken just bit him. He deserves it.
…Am I that mediocre? Do I truly mean that little to him?
I’m the one who’s been by his side the last five years. I could tell you just how bright his eyes shine when he starts talking about the Chudley Cannons or when he has every move figured out to win at a game of Wizard’s Chess. He’s incredible, and sometimes I don’t think he realizes just how special he is.
But how am I supposed to show him how remarkable he is? What can I do to open his eyes and see that I’m here, right in front of him! But noooo, I’m invisible, hidden by the shadows of Veela charm.
Here I was, thinking we could really be something. Dreams of becoming that Prefect power couple everyone talks about. How cute that two best friends fell in love and lived happily ever after.
Merlin help me. What am I becoming? Do you see what he’s doing to me? Ugh, I sound like Lavender and Parvati. Love sick and hopeless…What happened to sensible Hermione? The one who’s too smart to play wishful thinking.
Yet…
Would it be too much for him to notice me and not her? To let me love him, let me want him?