Chapter Text
“Power should be back soon,” Aki took the small kettle off the camping stove and poured steaming water into a mug in front of Denji on the table.
“I kinda like her being on the balcony,” Denji snorted.
“No, not Power. The power.”
A blizzard had hit last night and was tearing through the area in fierce white lashes. They’d lost electricity within minutes, leaving them pretty fed up for the last 24 hours. Aki wouldn’t have minded it much if it weren’t for the list of chores he had planned to get through. That and the inability to relax in a house with a bored Power bouncing off the walls. Even now, they could hear her hollering outside over the blasting winds as she tried to catch snowflakes. According to Power’s logic, there were so many out there; at least some of them had to be the same. 2 hours had passed since then.
“It better do. I want to watch TV,” Denji stared longingly at the bulky electronic sitting across from him. “It was supposed to be my turn to pick what we watch tonight, and now I’m going to miss out and get stuck watching one of your snooze fests tomorrow instead.”
Aki took a spoon and stirred cocoa powder into the chipped mug on the table. Each clink made Denji’s nose wrinkle uncomfortably. “How about this: if you help me organise the laundry, I’ll let you have my TV time.” He offered and slid the mug across.
Denji hesitated. The pile of laundry next to his bed was getting unreasonably high, and it seemed like a lot of work. On the other hand, if he was sorting laundry, it meant he could claim any of the loose coins and candy he found in everyone’s trouser pockets. Power definitely had a blue lollipop hiding somewhere that he’d been determined to find. Maybe it was worth it, after all. And there was a game show airing tomorrow he wanted to watch… The young man regarded Aki and the hot cocoa for a few moments longer.
“You forgot my marshmallows.”
“Right,” Aki sighed and hopped to his feet. The packet of marshmallows nearly tumbled into his face when he opened the poorly organised cupboard. Another task for tomorrow. “Oh. I nearly forgot. If you do help, I was thinking I could give you this…” Aki’s hand dipped into his pocket, and pulled out a blue lollipop.
Ah, shit. Denji’s arms folded around his chest grumpily, but his hungry eyes lit up bright. “…fine.”
The cocoa was better than Denji had expected - although it was about 95% marshmallow, admittedly. The mushy gelatinous slop slid down his throat and left a sweet taste across his tongue and a disgusted look on Aki’s face. Denji grinned and slid the mug back to Aki, as if to say, “More, please”, then pulled out a clunky phone Makima had given him. It was a very exciting gift - it could make calls and do emails and faxes. None of those were things Denji really wanted to do with it (although he did enjoy sending Aki rude emoticons), but the important thing was that it could do all those things.
An array of charms hung off the device’s aerial and made a clattering sound every time he picked it up. Denji enjoyed that part about checking his phone. He also enjoyed the chirping melody it made when he pressed the keys. What he didn’t enjoy was having no reception. After all, what was the point of it having all those functions otherwise? And for once, Denji had been wanting to use them.
He sat and stared at the screen by the light of a candle, trying to get it to connect. The page stayed the same. Maybe it was better not knowing what emails he had. He clicked the device shut and set it on the table.
“Expecting a call?” Aki set the kettle back on to the camping stove.
Denji’s eyes flicked up for a moment then back to the phone. “Just wanted to see if I had a signal yet.”
“Since when do you care about signal?” Aki’s fingers wandered over to a squishy charm in the shape of a polar bear that was tied and tangled into the mess of trinkets. “I’ve never seen you use that thing for anything other than bothering me.”
“Maybe I wanted to bother you,” Denji said with an air of despondency, eyes still fixed on the phone.
“I’m right here,” Aki pointed out, “you have had no problem bothering me in person all day. So…”
Denji dragged the phone back toward him and sunk his chin into the palm of his hand with a grumble. “What?” An anxious knot pulled in his gut. He didn’t want to talk about why he’d been anxiously waiting for his phone to work all day. The battery was nearly dead now, and with no way to charge it, he was beginning to run out of time and optimism. Soon he wouldn’t even be able to check, so what did it matter? He didn’t need to talk about anything. Aki would probably tease him, just like Power did.
Silence lingered between them as Aki prepared another hot cocoa and spooned far too many marshmallows on top. Denji broke the silence long enough to ask for whipped cream this time, regardless of how warm it was without a powered fridge. Then, he buried mouth and nose in the pile of slowly melting marshmallows so the silence would continue. But his mind still lingered on the phone, and he absentmindedly reached for it again.
“That’s the 6th time you’ve checked it in the last hour.”
“Stalker!” Denji spat small pieces of marshmallow across the table. “You’re being weird! Stop monitoring me!”
“Denji, what are you trying to avoid talking about?” Aki moved around the table to sit closer to him. He held out his hand for the phone, but Denji curled away with it tight in his grip. “If you’re waiting for word from Makima—“
“I’m not!” Denji groaned and threw his head back. “Look, I… I… sent a message to someone, and I just want to know if they replied. That’s all!”
Aki laughed softly, knowing that whatever jumble of letters Denji had sent was likely unreadable. Regardless, he tried not to point out the obvious and placed a hand on Denji’s shoulder in comfort. “I see,” he nodded understandingly, “I’ve been there. You know, I’m sure whoever this girl is, she’s just as anxious as you right now.”
A wave of unease washed over Denji. “Huh? There’s no girl. I’m… I’m…ugh.” Denji threw himself back and covered his face with his arms.
“Oh? Well then… maybe, uh… Denji, can you just tell me what is going on?”
Deep in his chest, Denji felt his heart hammering as though it was bouncing off his ribs and lungs in a frantic effort to escape his body. It made him nauseous, and his throat tightened so much that he felt like he could choke on his tongue. In Denji’s mind, this reaction was stupid, and he didn’t fully understand why he was being so dramatic. So, he pressed the heels of his hands against his eyes, took a deep breath, and, faster than he could have ever intended, he spilt out, “I said something to Beam the other day, and I guess it upset him a bit because he hasn’t spoken to me since, so I sent him an email saying I’m sorry, but he hasn’t replied, and Power said it’s because he thinks I’m weak now and he’s embarrassed for me.” Pant, pant, pant.
Between Denji’s fingers, he could see Aki’s piercing eyes staring at him in a dazed state of disbelief and minor confusion.
“Beam has an email address?”
Denji uncovered his face. “No, it’s Galgali’s. Beam uses his phone sometimes to talk to me, so I just sent it there.”
Aki looked even more puzzled than before. “Violence has a phone ?”
“Yeah, just like mine,” Denji rolled his eyes, a little irritated that he wasn’t the only one with a special fancy phone. “Keep up, Aki.”
“Does everyone have this phone except me?”
Denji suppressed the smug grin creeping across his face. “Nah, Powy doesn’t. She chewed on hers until it broke. Look, if it matters to you, just ask Makima for one. That’s what we did.” A small shrug pulled Denji’s shoulders up to his ears. “Don’t know why you would want one, though, it’s no fun being able to see that a stupid shark hasn’t even tried to accept your apology.”
Aki pinched the bridge of his nose and brushed the mild irritation aside. Requesting the replacement of his old, falling apart phone with a shiny new Nokia 9000 communicator could be another thing to do tomorrow. “Would it help if I said I doubt Beam has the capability to be upset with you?”
“Ugh. Aki, he calls me all the time. ‘Lord chainsaw! Lord chainsaw!’ 24/7,” Denji mocked Beam’s shrill bark, although the impression was actually somewhat impressive. “12 emails a day, and neither of us can read, so who’s that even for? He’s normally so clingy.” And normally that annoys me, Denji thought but did not add. Truthfully it had been far too quiet without Beam, and (not that he would admit it) he was starting to miss the guy.
“Well, what did you say that upset him?”
Denji scrunched his brow and pushed back up to sit. “He was just ringing me whilst I was trying to nap, and it was annoying me.”
“Denji…”
“I called him an overgrown tuna and told him to fuck off. ” The boy grumbled and tucked his knees under his chin. The soft cotton of his pyjamas caught like the fluffy side of Velcro in the few stubs of facial hair that he’d begun sprouting.
After a long pause and a slow blink, Aki exhaled slowly in the way he did when he was trying to be as patient as possible. “Denji, what did Makima tell you when you first met Beam?”
Denji gave it some thought. “That he’s too violent to hold a conversation.”
“Yet he talks to you…”
“Because he’s obsessed with chainsaw man.”
Aki flicked Denji in the ear and caught the wrist of the hand that tried to retaliate. “Think about what Makima told you. Normally, he’s too violent to hold a conversation but…”
“He said he’d do anything I say,” Denji recalled and stared at Aki blankly as though this were a pointless exercise. The beginnings of a thought trickled down through his head, filtering and thickening slowly into the answer before dropping into place with a clunk. “I told him to fuck off.”
Aki nodded.
“He’s doing as he’s told.” Relief washed over Denji. “He probably doesn’t even know about my email! Pfft, Powy is gonna eat her words. I bet he’s not even mad at me.”
“And even if he was, you said you’re sorry, right?” Aki shuffled to the counter and reached up for his packet of cigarettes. The wind was probably too harsh for it to be worth going out for a smoke, but his fingers had been itching all evening. “I’m proud of you, Denji.”
“Don’t get mushy on me.” Denji grimaced and kicked at Aki. “I only said sorry so he wouldn’t be all ‘please forgive me, Lord Chainsaw!’ next time we have to work together.” That was a lie. Denji had apologised because Power had said Beam was probably crying like a baby at such harsh words from the great Lord Chainsaw, and the image made Denji’s stomach twist. He assumed that was guilt. Beam was never sad, so the idea that the one time he cried was Denji’s fault really, really sucked. It sucked so much that Denji hadn’t even spared a thought for how on Earth Beam would produce tears without being in devil form.
It wasn’t clear whether Aki knew it was a lie or not, but he didn’t press the topic further. Instead, he wrapped himself in several blankets and shooed Power back inside so he could have the balcony to himself for a minute. The fiend had her eyes latched onto her palms, likely examining snowflakes for matching patterns. When they melted, she growled and ripped her gloves off, spraying Denji with water and the remaining snow.
“Stupid hand socks! Made my fingers too warm!” Power threw the gloves onto the table, flicking Denji with water again. “I probably found the matching ones too.” She dropped down to the ground and flopped against Denji’s body. Her skin was ice cold and practically blue but she didn’t seem to care, especially now she was able to leech Denji’s heat. “Has Kobeni replied to my message yet?”
“I don’t know.”
“Why not?”
“Y’know, if you had your own phone—“
“Check my messages!” Power gave him a gentle slap on the cheek. “Check!”
“There’s no reception, idiot. I can’t get messages either.” Denji waved his phone at her and the charms clattered together.
“Or maybe you have no messages because no one wants to email you.” Power laughed and wrapped her arm under Denji’s to cling to.
“That would mean no one wants to email you either.”
“Not true. Kobeni loves emailing me. I bet she’s sent me tons, and you’re just hiding them because you’re jealous.” That was not true. Kobeni’s emails were few and far between and often more of a courtesy than anything, but Denji didn’t say that because Power needed to believe otherwise. Although she had never said anything, Power was clearly a little upset that Kobeni did not email her much or accept her (oddly aggressive) invites to lunch.
Aki had suggested rewording them because “ come to my house at 1pm!!!!! Bring money for 2 pizzas (or 3 if you’re hungry too). Don’t invite anyone else ” was too threatening and ambiguous. Power argued that Kobeni might just hate pizza.
“When I get a chance, I’ll check, okay?”
“Check now!” Power’s sharp teeth pressed against Denji’s shoulder.
“Ow! No, I’m saving the battery.” Denji elbowed her away from him.
“Oh, in case Shark decides to forgive you after you went crawling back to him?” Power giggled.
That was an overstatement. Denji’s email was an assortment of letters and numbers that simply read “4 B - :( - D”. This translated to “For Beam. - Sorry. - Denji.” Whether Galgali actually understood that and could pass the message on was an unknown factor in the equation.
“Beam doesn’t need to forgive me. He’s only leaving me alone because I told him to.”
Power thought that over for a moment and then shook her head. “No, he’s really mad. He told me.”
“Bullshit!”
“T’isn’t! We communicated through our fiend powers, and he said he hates you and he never wants to see you again!” Power laughed at her own joke as if it were much funnier than Denji was finding it.
The idea that Beam hated him was not remotely funny to Denji. It was strange because he was certain he would not care. Now, when faced with the possibility, Denji felt like he’d woken up with Meowy on his chest. He didn’t understand why his heart kept sinking into his stomach. More to the point, he didn’t understand why admitting it made him even more anxious. Maybe because Power kept teasing him. Or maybe because he was worried that caring this much was weird. Or maybe it was just that it was Beam, and he wasn’t supposed to care this much about him.
It is weird that it’s Beam, isn’t it? Denji asked Pochita. He got the sense that Pochita didn’t think that was weird at all. Eh, you only like him because he loves the chainsaw devil, Pochita. That didn’t seem to be something Pochita agreed with either. Denji, somehow, got the sense that Pochita thought Denji should find this anxiety exciting.
It wasn’t exciting, though; it was uncomfortable and strange and made Denji fidgety and sweaty. His palms felt damp, and his stomach tied itself in knots and bows. It felt like his thoughts were in a dryer, tumbling over one another so he couldn’t see a single one clearly enough to hold it in his mind and attempt to understand it. Why that should be at all exciting was a mystery to him, but Pochita was usually right in the end.
“Denji?” Power’s voice snapped Denji out of his mind. She poked at his face with the tip of her finger. “Stop being so quiet… I don’t like it.” Power’s voice was much softer than usual. She seemed to speak through a sheet of concern, maybe even slight guilt that she’d upset him.
Denji scrunched his brow and massaged a pinching feeling in his stomach. “I think I’m going to go to bed. I don’t feel good.” He clambered to his feet and shuffled off towards his bedroom despite Power’s protesting and grabbing at his legs.
The bed was cold and a little stiff, but Denji managed to fashion a nest of pillows and blankets that was cosy enough to sleep in. He set his phone down beside him and clutched a fistful of the charms so that he’d feel the tug if Power tried to take it, and he shut his eyes.
Somewhere in the distance, he heard Aki’s voice ask Power, “Where’s Denji?” and Power replied, “Sulking in bed. He’s so human sometimes. I don’t understand why he cares what Beam thinks.”
Aki made a noise that Denji didn’t quite register the meaning of without seeing the accompanying facial expression. But he heard, clearly, as Aki headed towards his own room, “I don’t think he understands either. That’s normal at his age. He’s halfway there. But Beam doesn’t have boobs, so give Denji some time for his brain to catch up on that one.”
Beam doesn’t have boobs? Why does that matter? Denji pressed his chapped lips together and chewed at his cheek. Even if Beam had boobs, I’d still be confused. If Beam had boobs I bet he’d be all “ooh Lord Chainsaw! You can touch my breasts! Most supreme hands on my boobs! Such an honour!” and they’d be all soft and warm, not fake like Power’s. Denji snorted to himself at the idea of Beam falling over himself to have his chest blessed by the great Lord Chainsaw. But it didn’t make him understand why he cared so much about Beam hating him. Denji didn’t get much time to think about it before he fell asleep.
He did have a rather odd dream about shark boobs, though.