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Eighteenth floor, room 20b. That was the room number Sam had given her. Emily had been treated in the same hospital, but hadn’t been admitted. Her injuries weren’t that severe.
Jess hadn’t been so fortunate.
The door was closed when she finally found the room at the far, dim end of the wing. It was eleven o’clock in the morning, but the scarce and yellowed lighting made it feel like the middle of the night. She hoped Jess wasn’t still sleeping as she rapped on the door.
A hoarse, meager voice from inside the room called for her to come in.
Emily opened the door and slipped inside. The first thing she noticed upon entering was the overpowering stench of antiseptic. A typical hospital smell, but it gagged her nonetheless. The next thing she noticed was just how tiny the room was – a bed, a nightstand, and a chair served as the only furniture. A counter littered with sealed medical supplies and a computer displaying various line graphs ran along the wall opposite the bed. One wall was almost entirely window, but its curtains were drawn most of the way, allowing only a single sliver of natural light to filter in.
Jess was propped up in her sterile white hospital bed. When Emily stepped into the room she turned her head just enough to catch a glimpse of who was entering.
“Hey Jess,” Emily murmured. She set her handbag down on the nightstand. “How, um-“ She tried not to stare at the already-scarring wounds that marred Jess’ once-flawless face. “How are you feeling?”
Jess pulled a thin white blanket up practically to her chin, and stared up at the bland gray ceiling tiles. “Fine.” Her eyes, once so vibrant and full of life, were cold, almost deadened in their sockets as she fixed them on nothing in particular.
“That’s…good.” Emily shifted her weight from one foot to the other. Jess said nothing else.
The computer hummed faintly, the only sound in the room. Down the hall a child was screaming. This was the pediatric floor – patients aged five to twenty years old, all grouped together. All of them were going through something terrible. The thought crossed Emily’s mind that kids had probably died in this room. Maybe in the very bed Jess was now lying in.
After a long silence, Jess’ gaze fell from the ceiling to the nightstand beside her. “I’m thirsty.” She settled her stare on a small plastic cup on the corner of the nightstand.
Emily reached over and picked up the cup, only to find that it was empty. “I can go get you some water.” She took a step toward the door, cup in hand.
Jess’ eyes lingered on the empty spot where the cup had been. Then she slowly looked up at Emily. “Would you mind?”
Of course she minded – she didn’t know this place at all, and had no idea where to go to fill a cup of water. “No, I don’t mind,” she said anyway. “I’ll fill this and come right back.”
“Thank you.” Jess turned over to stare out the window as Emily walked out of the room.
The desk in the center of the hall was covered in kids’ drawings and assorted little toys and trinkets. Emily leaned her elbows on the counter, waiting for someone to show up so she could ask them about the water. “Hello?” she called after a minute.
A door on the far wall behind the counter swung open. A chubby, middle-aged white woman in colorful scrubs stepped out. “Hi there,” she said warmly, “How can I help you?”
Emily plunked the cup down on the counter in front of her. “My friend needs water. Where can I fill this?”
“Oh, here, I’ll fill it for you.” With a smile, she took the cup and then disappeared around the corner. In the moments she was gone Emily reflected on her own words. She hadn’t referred to Jess as a friend in a while.
“Here you go, hon.” The woman returned with a cup full of cold water and two tiny ice cubes. “If you need any more, the machine’s in that room.” She pointed to a door a few feet from the counter.
“Thanks.” Emily maneuvered cautiously with the full cup of water. The hallway’s foot traffic was apparently beginning to pick up as it got later in the day. She had to dodge several nurses, a bunch of parents, and a few kids with IV poles bigger than them. Although no one she passed appeared outwardly emotional, the tension in the air was palpable. Everyone here was afraid.
The pediatric floor of a hospital had to be one of the worst places in the world.
Emily returned to the room to find Jess sitting up a bit, waiting for her. When Emily came closer Jess reached her bandaged right arm out from under the covers. Emily carefully placed the cup in her hand.
Jess took a small sip of it. “Thanks,” she murmured.
“No problem.”
After that small exchange, another uncertain silence fell over them. Jess sipped at the water some more. Emily settled in to the uncomfortable chair at Jess’ bedside.
“Why’d you come?” Jess asked after a long while.
Avoiding eye contact, Emily shrugged.
Jess set her cup down on the tray attached to the bed. “I thought you hated me.” As soon as she leaned forward to place the cup, the blanket dropped off her upper half. Every area of skin that wasn’t covered by her hospital gown was beginning to scar over. Emily bit her lip.
“I did hate you,” she murmured. “I still do, a little bit.”
Jess settled back under the covers. She nodded slowly, resuming her observation of the ceiling. “I get it.”
Emily leaned back in the chair and folded her arms. “There aren’t a whole lot of us left.” They’d lost half the group – Sam and Chris were the only other survivors. They’d never even found Matt’s body. “Not much point in holding grudges anymore.”
Jess exhaled heavily. Her fingers trailed a cut on the side of her face.
Sam had been with her during the police interviews they’d been pushed into doing. Apparently Jess had talked at length about Mike, how he had rescued her. Sam said she repeated the same few phrases over and over. Where is he? Did you find him? He…he saved me. Where is he? Even after investigators told her repeatedly that Mike’s body had been recovered from the lodge, she’d continued to ask for him.
The reason Emily was visiting her then was because Sam had tipped her off that Jess was a little more aware by this point. She was able to actually hold a coherent conversation, one that wasn’t littered with dead-end sentence fragments and word salad. Emily never could have faced seeing her like that. They may have burned some of their bridges what felt like a lifetime ago, but that didn’t destroy the years of memories they shared as former best friends. And those memories had been flooding Emily’s mind the past few days. We tore apart everything we had. How could we have been that stupid?
“How are you, Em?” Jess asked out of the blue. “You got hurt, too.”
Emily hadn’t even realized her hand had settled on her right shoulder, where her bite wound was still healing. “Oh, I’m…” She pulled her hand away and crossed her arms again. “I’m fine. It was just a little nip. And my leg is feeling a lot better, too.” She still walked with a bit of a limp, but around other people she did everything in her power to conceal it.
“That’s good…”
“Mhm.” The bite would almost certainly leave a scar, and it would be visible if she were to wear a low-cut shirt or a tank top. But that wasn’t important to her, not really. She’d never been a fan of showing her body off anyway.
She wasn’t sure if Sam and Chris were aware, but having been Jess’ best friend since childhood Emily knew all about her dreams of becoming a model. Now she was covered head-to-toe in wounds that would surely scar, including almost the entire left half of her face. Scar removal creams and other treatments could only do so much. Jess’ scars were almost definitely going to be prominent and abundant for the rest of her life.
Sam had also mentioned that one of Jess’ legs had healed improperly from her fall into the mines. When a pair of nurses coaxed her into getting up and walking around the hall a little bit, Sam had said, there was a noticeable crookedness to her gait.
At least Emily could still go on to achieve all her goals in life. Jess would never walk a runway after this.
Jess fixed her big blue eyes on Emily. They sparked briefly with life, as if she were momentarily back to her old self. “I’m glad you’re here,” she said.
The raw honesty in her voice brought an unexpected sting to Emily’s eyes. She squeezed them shut for a moment and shook her head. “Damn it, Jess, don’t.”
When she re-opened them, she realized the vibrant spark she’d seen in Jess’ eyes was actually a glimmer of wetness. Her torn bottom lip quivered a little as the glimmer developed into full, gleaming tears. “Stop it,” Emily mumbled, the sting in her own eyes growing stronger, “You know if you start I’m gonna start, too.”
Jess said nothing else. She didn’t have to. Instead of words, two big tears cascaded down her butchered face.
“God damn it…” Emily felt two warm streams begin their course down her cheeks as well.
Jess leaned out of the bed and took Emily’s hands in hers. They searched each other’s eyes for a moment before pulling into a tight, tear-filled hug. “I’m so glad you made it,” Emily sobbed into Jess’ shoulder. “It was so stupid. We could’ve died hating each other. It was so fucking stupid!”
Jess’ cries were weaker, less theatrical, but Emily could feel her shake with sobs as they held on to one another. “I’m sorry,” Jess whimpered.
Their embrace felt eternal. Neither wanted to be the first to let go. Emily couldn’t help but fear that if she did, she would somehow lose her best friend again.
“It’s okay. We’re – we’re alive. That’s the important thing.” Emily sniffled, trying to regain some semblance of composure. “There’s no point in crying. We gotta just…move on. Keep going.”
Jess feebly nodded.
Part of Emily did still resent Jess for all that had transpired between them in the weeks before the incident. But being back together like this, even under less-than-ideal settings, made her miss the old days terribly. I wonder if we’ll ever be able to go back to that. Back to that inseparable bond of friendship that let them block out everyone else whenever they wanted to. Back to their names spoken together by their other friends so often that JessandEm basically became one word amongst their friend group. Nothing would ever be exactly as it was before, but maybe someday it would come close.
Swallowing the lump that had formed in her throat, Emily finally pulled away. “Do you feel like taking a walk with me? You might feel better if you do.”
Jess hesitated. “I…” She withdrew into the center of the bed. “I don’t know.”
“Come on, just a short walk.” Emily made an attempt at gentleness, typically one of her weakest suits. “Lying in bed all day isn’t good for you anyway.”
Jess lowered her eyes. “I walk funny now.”
“Who cares? It’s a hospital. No one’s going to notice.”
Jess drew her knees in close to her chest.
Emily folded her arms. “Fine, don’t come with me then. I’m still going. I need some air.” She walked as slowly and deliberately as possible toward the door. “I’m going. Here I go.”
Her hand was settling on the doorknob when Jess finally spoke up behind her. “Em, wait.”
Emily turned to find Jess carefully climbing out of the bed and onto her bare feet. As Sam had mentioned, one of her legs was bent in a strange way, like a doll with a limb glued on backwards. She limped over to her shoes.
Emily knew she’d come along. Jess never wanted to be left out of anything.
“Hurry up, slowpoke,” Emily said as she met her halfway. As soon as she was within reach Emily linked her arm with Jess’ and began leading her toward the door. Jess leaned on Emily for a bit of support. She tried to conceal her limp, just as Emily had been doing. Stubborn, defensive, and unwilling to show any weakness – that was the way they’d always been.
“So, are we friends again?” Jess asked as they were stepping out into the hallway.
Emily hesitated. It still felt strange to her, the thought of letting someone back in to her life after they’d been largely shut out of it. She was accustomed to how things usually went: someone pissed her off, she blocked them out of her life, and that was it. Forever. I can’t live like that anymore, though. Look how many of us are gone. How did she know she wasn’t going to lose Jess at any given moment? After what they experienced on the mountain, it seemed like anything could happen at any time now.
“Do you want to be?” Despite her inner chastisement, that was the best response she could manage.
“I…think so.”
Emily shrugged. “Well then I guess we are. No sense in making a big deal out of it, right?”
“…Right.”
People in the hall had begun to stare at them. “Come on, let’s keep moving.” With Jess securely latched on to her, Emily pushed her way through the hallway’s hustle and bustle. “God, the first thing we need to do after you get out of here is have a spa day or something,” she murmured. “We are totally gonna get wrinkles from all this stress we’ve been under…”