Chapter Text
Manuel Neuer was awfully bored.
He couldn’t believe it, but since the COVID-19 pandemic had been officially declared a pandemic about three weeks ago, the crime rate in Manchester had dropped dramatically.
“It seems even the criminals are afraid of this virus,” A voice behind him said, as if sensing his thoughts. Manuel jumped a little, but he didn’t need to turn around to know who it was. His husband’s german accent gave it away, as his face came into view. Even under the mask, it was obvious that Thomas was smiling at him.
“Hello to you too,” he said, amused. “Don’t you have work to do?”
“No, I don’t! I didn’t think this would be something I’d ever complain about, yet here I am,” Thomas groaned.
“Do you decided to come and bother me?” Manuel asked, not that he really minded.
“Yeah, but I want to do something,” he complained.
The taller one handed him a box of pencils and a sharpener. “Here’s something you can do. Help me clean out supplies.”
Thomas made a face. “I want to do something fun.” He put a lot of emphasis on the last word.
“Go do something fun with Robert, then.”
Thomas sighed. “Fine. See you later?”
“Absolutely.”
•••
“Just go text someone or something,” Robert Lewandowski said, before Thomas had even opened his mouth - and getting a word in before Thomas was an impressive feat.
Thomas huffed. “Everyone here’s so boring.”
It was as if a lightbulb went off in his head. “Thanks for the idea!”
“You’re welcome- what?” Robert realized too late as Thomas sped off to his own desk.
April 1st, 2020. 17:15
1225 added 1201 and 9 others to a new chat
1225 changed their name to Thomas
Thomas: welcome, everyone!!!
Thomas: you’re all here a a result of my boredom and idk who half of you are, some of you I know but most of you are just unlucky enough to have one of the numbers i randomly typed into my phone.
Thomas: anyways, you can all think of this as an anti-boredom groupchat during covid
1210 changed their name to Leo
Leo: can i leave
Thomas: no
Thomas: you can add more people tho
1201: i swear to god thomas i leave you unsupervised for no less than 5 mins
Thomas: this is your fault for not paying attention to me, manu
1201 changed their name to Manu
Thomas: anyways this is gonna be fun
Thomas: ok, change your names to your first name. Then tell us what you feel comfortable sharing with people who might be complete strangers
Thomas: eg: age, work, relationship status, pronouns, country you’re from, photos only if you want, exc
Thomas: but if you’re under 18 then leave please, I don’t want kids in this chat, or if you really don’t feel comfortable
Thomas: so i’ll go first
Thomas: i’m thomas, ofc. 29 years old and i’m a detective/investigator thing for the police. i’m from germany and married to manu. he/him
Manu: *sighs* i’m manuel, 32, married to this idiot here and not proud of it. from germany and proud of it.
Thomas: ouch
Leo: i’m lionel, but i prefer leo, and i’m from Argentina. 27 years old
1211 changed their name to Neymar
1204 changed their name to Sergio
Neymar: hey, i’m Neymar
Neymar: i’m leo’s 26 year old best friend from Brazil.
Sergio: i’m 28, originally from Spain. i work as a tattoo artist
Neymar: do you have tattoos?
Sergio: yeah, did you say we could send pictures, weird guy who started this that i don’t know?
Thomas: yeah if you want
Sergio: [Me.jpeg]
Thomas: Robert you’re married why did you just look at your phone appreciatively
Thomas: i can also see you scrolling on your phone, reading the messages and ignoring them
1209 changed their name to Robert
Robert: sorry everyone i unintentionally gave this idiot a stupid idea
Robert: my names Robert, i work with thomas and manu and i’m polish and 31 years old
1252 changed their name to Erling
Erling: I’m 24, and i’m a junior doctor in training at the hospital (as in i’ve completed med school and am now actually getting paid but still learning)
Manu: is it really as short staffed and hectic there as the news says it is? because the police station is so quiet i’m sitting here sharpening pencils
Erling: fucking hell yes
Erling: i’m learning from this guy and he looks like he hasn’t slept more than three hours straight for two weeks
Sergio: is it usually that chaotic?
Erling: apparently not, but there’s so many problems with the healthcare system nowadays
1219 changed their name to Julian
Julian: [Replying to: : i’m learning from this guy…] That’s because they always stick him on the night shift.
Julian: so of course we have to do the night shift as well
Julian: [Replying to: is it really as short staffed and hectic…] It’s awful the hospitals aren’t big enough, but we don’t have enough nurses and doctors to have bigger hospitals. we’re hardly managing this one
Leo: you two know each other?
Erling: he’s the other guy i’m learning with
Geri: if the hospitals are crazy shouldn't you guys go back to work?
Julian: night shift tonight, don’t start until seven
Julian: can i add someone
Julian added 1205
1205 changed their name to Enzo
Enzo: Julian, who is my boyfriend and forgot his introduction so i’ll do it for him explained to me what this is and what to do, so i’m Enzo, he’s Julian and we’re both from Argentina and 24 years old
Julian: oops
Thomas: it’s six which means i can leave work finallyyyyyy!!!!!
Julian: shit that means i’d better start getting ready
Erling: oh yeah me too
Erling: bye everyone, it was nice meeting you!
Thomas: guys Manu isn’t paying attention to me
Robert: hahaha serves you right
Manu: sorry guys i’ll take him off your hands
Leo: nah it’s fine this chat is my primary source of entertainment now
Leo: i’m a primary school teacher and there’s not much you can do with eight year olds online and our school doesn’t have guidelines for what the fuck to actually do
Neymar: I just read them stories
Leo: yeah but you teach six year olds who can actually be entertained by a book
Neymar: good point
Neymar: i’ve also tried some online classes but you really can’t keep them engaged on a teams call
Neymar: i discovered the whiteboard feature, so we had fun with that
Leo: that’s good to know
Thomas: well we still appear to be missing some members
1222 changed their name to Sonny
1222 added 1230 to the chat
1230 changed their name to Harry
Sonny: i’m Heung-min, but just call me Sonny. I’m 28 from south Korea and the guy i just added is my boyfriend harry
Harry: i’m harry, 27 years old from england, and i’m an engineer
Sonny: btw i’m develop computer scanning apps for a landslide company to analyze land
Sonny: overcomplicated explanation but idk if it’s got a name people understand
Thomas: now we’re just missing two people! 1212 and 1217 where tf are you guys
1212 changed their name to Kylian
Kylian: I was just watching all the drama unfold
Kylian: i’m kylian, or kyky and i’m a 24 year old originally from france. I’m at uni to become an engineer rn
Thomas: yay you’re here
Neymar: manu i thought you were taking him off our hands
Thomas: first of all, ouch
Thomas: second of all, he wants me to tell you that’s “that’s a bit difficult when he’s driving”
2127: i’m kevin and i’m kind of busy right now but i’ll respond and read all the messages later
Leo: ok then
Leo: bye everyone i’m emotionally exhausted from teaching kids
Neymar: but you barely did anything!?
Leo: exactly, idk what to do
April 2nd, 2020. 07:12
1217 changed their name to Kevin
Kevin: so yeah. i’m kevin, 28 years old and i’m originally from belgium. I’m actually the one erling and julian were talking about earlier
Erling: he’s the driest texter in the world, so don’t get offended if it seems like he doesn’t want to be anywhere
Manu: that’s ok i pretty much am too
Kevin: right now i don’t want to be anywhere except my fucking house, yet i’m still at the hospital because nobody can show up on time for a 7am shift, apparently
Sergio: that’s a massive fucking coincidence that you three all work in the same place
Leo: Neymar and i work at the same place too
Leo: and live in the same house
Kylian: isn’t this whole chat kind of a massive fucking coincidence?
Sergio: yeah, i suppose it is
Sergio named the chat “Coincidence Chat”