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Penn didn't really want to wake up that morning
It was his least favorite day of the year and he would really just rather avoid it
And yet, as the sun rose over the horizon line and began to spill into the otherwise deep darkness of his room... the sound of a door slamming open jostled him from his sleep, followed by about a dozen little feet stomping (well, as well as they could stomp) across the floor and inevitably to his bedside
"Waaaake up Papa!"
"Time to get up Papa!"
"Guess what day it is Papa?"
"It's Father's Day! Hooray!!"
"Hooray hooray!!!"
"For the love of Christ..." Penn groaned, stuffing his pillow over his head
Of all the lands in this damned holiday society WHY had he gotten stuck with this one?!
Beyond irritated, he sat up, a dire, desolate look on his face, clearly displeased with the turn of events
"Didn't I tell all of you to stop calling me that? I am not your father!"
"Whatever you say Papa!"
"If you say so Papa!"
"Happy Father's Day Papa!"
It was hopeless- utterly and entirely hopeless
The damn eggs never learned or took him seriously, they weren't even his inventions to begin with!! Just because he had been the one to give them life that didn't make him their father!!
"So what are you going to do today Papa?"
"Yeah, what are you going to do for Father's Day?"
"Are you gonna do something cool to help all the fathers Papa?"
"No," Penn said with a miserable sigh
"Father's Day is a miserable sham of a holiday and I despise being stuck with it- my father spent my entire life trying his best to do right by me, to care for me, to embody what a father should be, yet all he ever received was criticism from the outside world, criticism and bullying and ridicule! Yet all these deadbeat LOSERS think that they can just walk around getting free ties and barbecues for being nothing more than sperm donors and often times making their children's lives WORSE! It disgusts me! Oh why couldn't I have been the Spirit Of Diwali instead!? I would have killed for that position!!"
"Gee Papa, that's too bad,"
"If only you could kill the Spirit Of Diwali,"
"Too bad you aren't switching like Cupid,"
Penn's brow raised, his head snapping over to the last egg that had spoken
"Cupid? Cupid? What in the blazes does Cupid have to do with any of this?"
"Didn't you know Papa?"
"Cupid is switching holidays!"
"That's the rumor anyway,"
"He's trying to become Death!"
"....You can do that?" Penn asked carefully
"Apparently!"
"That's what Cupid's doing!"
"Allegedly!"
"Well how in the infernal fires of hell do you do that!?" Penn blurted out, jumping out of bed and picking up the first egg he saw, who gave an excited little squeal, wiggling his arms and legs in a sort of..... off-putting.... manor....
"Cupid found a human he's training to take over his position!"
"Supposedly he's going to kill Death and take over!"
"Isn't that NEAT Papa!?"
"So you're saying that all I have to do to get rid of this infernal 'holiday' and take on Diwali as I wish is to find a replacement for this thing and then go force my way into the holiday I want?"
That sounded so simple
Almost too simple....
"Allegedly!" one of the eggs confirmed
Nodding slowly, Penn set the egg down and marched to his closet, feeling excited and invegorated for the first time in years
"What are we doing Papa?"
"Yeah, what are we doing?"
"We, my unfertilized chicken simpletons, are going to find a replacement for this dreaded day, and then take over Diwali!!"
"Oh BOY!!" one of the eggs screamed, followed by a group-wide cheer of thrilled excitement, earning a shake of Penn's head as he headed to the closet for his finest attire
They were a bit annoying still but.... ultimately, Penn was excited
This was going to work, he was CONFIDENT, he could feel it in his BONES!
He would some dumb replacement human and that would be that, after all, it wasn't like anyone actually cared about Father's Day in the first place, right?
~+~
"Daddy, happy Father's Day!!"
"Aw thank you sweetheart!" Stolas beamed, bending down and scooping up Octavia as she ran up to him, throwing her arms around him tightly and snuggling him with adoration
She pulled back a second later though, holding out a poorly drawn picture that he could only assume was meant to be a sort of Father's Day card
"Is this for me?" he asked with a fake gasp, placing a hand delicately against his chest and earning a happy nod in response
"Oh Via, it's beautifull!! Thank you so so much!"
Octavia just nodded, smiling up at him and finally jumping down from her perch on his knee
"Can we go to the park for Father's Day?"
"Sure!"
Beaming, Octavia suddenly took off, disappearing around the corner, much to Stolas's confusion
He was prepared to ask where she was going, but the distinctive "Oof!" that followed was all he needed to hear
Chuckling softly, he rose to his feet and headed around the corner himself, finding that Octavia had indeed crashed into Blitz, who had barely managed to avoid spilling his morning coffee in the process
"Hey kiddo, where's the fire?"
"We're going to the park for Father's Day, are you coming?"
"Sure, I think I can swing that," Blitz agreed with a quick nod, stepping past her as she rushed off back to her room
"You like the park huh?" he chuckled teasingly, earning a shrug from Stolas
"Octavia does, that's really all that matters to me,"
"Fair enough," Blitz agreed, sipping his coffee before handing the mug to Stolas to share, taking the opportunity to peer down at the papper the human was holding dearly onto
"Aww, did she draw that for you?"
"She did, isn't it cute?"
"It's fuckin' adorable! .....What is it?"
"Ahh...." Stolas winced, nose wrinkling as he stared down at the gathering of brightly colored crayon lines
"...I think it's meant to be an owl, see these squiggles here are supposed to be wings,"
"OOoooh......... it... looks like it's having a stroke...."
Stolas snorted with amusement, grinning from ear to ear
"It sort of does, but it's a very pretty stroke,"
"Yeah," Blitz agreed with a snicker of his own
"Pinnin' it to the fridge?"
"Absolutely, then I'll help Octavia get changed and we can go, if that's ok?"
"Sure, I don't think Charlie'll have a problem with it, she's a real softie that way,"
"I've noticed," Stolas chuckled back
After all, something told him that she wouldn't have taken nearly so kindly to Blitz just casually scooping up a pair of humans and absconding with them back to her realm if she wasn't
Bending down, he gave his partner a quick kiss before heading downstairs to the kitchen, leaving Blitz alone in the hall
Alone to drop the happy face and lean against the wall, sighing and combing his fingers through his still shower-damp hair and staring down into his coffee
Father's Day had never been a happy occasion for him- when he was a kid he always felt awkward and weird about it, about celebrating someone who so often brought nothing but pain and upset to their household, and as he grew older and grew more bitter towards the fucking sperm donor who had called himself a father, his feelings started to grow less awkward and more outright disgusted
And then, when he started settling into adulthood, he just felt.... sad
He was sad that he couldn't participate in it himself, sad that he hadn't had the children he had so desperately wanted for so long.....
Just.... sad...
Now Stolas was around, getting the same celebrations that Blitz had been craving, and Blitz didn't want to take away from that, he really didn't, he really-.... still felt... sad..... if he was being completely honest....
But he didn't want to ruin this day for Stolas, so he swallowed those feelings and forced himself into a happier mood- or atleast forced himself to pretend he was in one
Today would be fine, he'd get through it, it was just another day and nothing serious or life-altering was going to happen
It'd be fine
~+~
"Happy Father's Day Dads!"
Valentino glanced over his shoulder, a faint smile crossing his features as he reached out for the card he was being handed, Vox doing the same
"Aww, Red Velvet Cake, ya' didn't have to do nothin'...."
"Well you're my dads, I thought I oughtta," Velvet shrugged back
"Besides, with everything you've been through lately, I thought you could use a little pick-me-up,"
Valentino sighed loudly, giving a nod of agreement as he tore the envelope she had given him
Velvet was definitely not fucking exaggerating about that- it felt like ever since the year began, things had just been getting worse and worse
In the span of a few months, he'd somehow lost his most profitable star- and after all this time, still no one had been able to find fucking Angel Dust- lost over a fucking million in a bad stock investment- the guy who'd given him that tip hadn't lived long- and some-fucking-how had lost nearly all of his most prominent investors, essentially crashing an entire branch of his business
His movies hadn't been doing nearly as well lately, he was losing employee after employee despite constantly working to make sure they didn't have a fucking choice in the matter, and now there was apparently a rumor going around that some stupid cops had him on their fucking radar!
Not like they'd get very far with that, Valentino had money and power and lawyers in all the right places ofcourse, but just having to deal with the extra problem.... and then Vox had almost tried to divorce him three times in the last few months alone! That was a new record for them
What a shitty fucking year......
Exhaling, he opened the card Velvet had given him, only barely having read the sentiment on the front-
"Is this real?" Vox asked suddenly from across the table, staring up at Velvet in disbeleif
"Oh it's real alright," Velvet chuckled, grinning like a mad woman
Valentino, in the mean time, could barely speak, staring down in total amazement at the check in front of him- apparently Vox had gotten one too
"It turns out not every stock tip that bum had was shit, I decided to take it upon myself to do a little investing of my own and that's my payout from the two stocks I just sold,"
There was a two million dollar check in Valentino's card, and when he reached across the table to look at what Vox was holding, he found the same
"Now don't get too excited, I did keep a little for myself, but..... happy Father's Day,"
Valentino exhaled, a low, deep laugh starting to bubble up in his throat as he shook his head
"Damn..... and here I thought adopting you was a mistake when we first did it,"
"You've mentioned that asswad, but now you know it wasn't," Velvet teased, grinning as Valentino pulled her into a tight hug
"Thanks kid,"
"Ofcourse, and don't worry Dad, things are gonna start looking up, I've even been talking to a new P.I. about finding that stupid whore who ran off on us,"
"Such a good girl I've raised," Valentino chuckled, earning a playfull kick under the table from his husband
"Hey, I did most of the raising,"
"You're both wrong, I was already almost eighteen when you got me, I raised myself thanks," Velvet smiled back, pulling away and smoothing out her dress
"Now figure out something nice to wear to dinner, I have a few phone calls to make," she hummed, waltzing proudly out of the room and reaching into her pocket, pulling out a simple copper coin and grinning as she flipped it into the air
With her other hand, she reached into the opposite pocket and pulled out her phone, typing out a quick message
Works like a charm, you know the rest of the deal, I'm in the process of holding up my end- thanks again for the lucky penny
Humming to herself, she put the coin securely back in her pocket, intending to take it to the safe she'd been keeping it in for the past month or so and glancing down at her phone screen as a new message appeared
No problem, I'm looking forward to that first payment ;) ~Mammon
~+~
"Higher!!" Octavia giggled, holding tightly onto the chains of the swing as it flew into the air, a bright smile stretched out over her face as the swing started to fall back towards the ground
"Daddy, higher!!"
"I think if you go any higher you'll launch into space sweetheart," Stolas laughed, giving the swing another push
He was pretty sure there was some sort of limiter on the thing to prevent it from going too high, but that wasn't going to stop him from trying to give in to his child's desires
"Maybe I'll see the moon!"
"At this rate you just might!" Stolas agreed cheerfully
Blitz, in the mean time, was content to watch them from the sidelines, lounged back on a bench in nothing but a tank top and shorts, wondering how the fuck humans survived this heat
Sure, he'd grown up in Mexico, but he had spent so many years living in the constant snow of Christmas Town that his body had forgotten how to deal with hot weather
Sighing, he tried to ignore how heavy his heart felt, shifting with discomfort and pulling his phone out of his pocket, sending off a message to Fizz- nothing important, just.... something, anything to get him talking
Whenever he was reminded of his shitty fucking father, he liked to talk to Fizz, as though trying to soothe his old wounds with an equally nostalgic balm or something
He wondered if Fizz was doing anything important today....
It was more than half-way to Halloween now, he was probably starting to get pretty busy....
Getting somewhat absorbed in the conversation, he failed to notice that the three of them weren't alone in the park- there was someone else there, someone..... watching......
"Swell choice Papa! When do we kidnap the human?"
Penn's eye twitched, snapping his head around and quickly shushing the eggs
"Hush!! We don't want to be heard!"
"Oh, ok then Papa!!"
"Whatever you say Papa, you're the boss!"
Penn groaned, smacking his palm against his forehead in distress
The eggs.... they really never would learn huh?
"And we aren't kidnapping him- we're persuading him, that human imbecile is the perfect target for us- just look at him, so proud of his own parenthood, caring for that little child with such a nurturing tendency... he'll probably think we're doing him a favor by offering him this position!"
"Then why don't we want to be heard Papa?"
"Yeah, shouldn't you go on and offer him the holiday Papa?"
"No no no," Penn sighed, shaking his head quickly
"The elf is in the way- he claimed that human for himself, he won't want us dragging him off to another realm, and I really don't want to piss off Christmas Town again, once was enough for me,"
"Oh YEAH! We don't wanna do that again Papa!"
"No Siree, that last time was BRUTAL, wasn't it Papa?"
"Would you lot be QUIET already?!"
Suddenly, Blitz's head jerked up, his eyes narrowing and his nose wrinkling
What.... was all that noise....?
Rising to his feet, he pocketed his phone and headed over to Stolas, tapping him on the shoulder breifly
"Hey, I'll be right back ok?"
"Hm? Alright, is... something wrong-?"
"Oh, no, no no no, I uh... just got a text and I need to make a phone call, that's all,"
"..Oh, alright then, be carefull," Stolas smiled back, giving a little wave as he pushed the swing up again, giving Blitz the opportunity to run off and investigate
They had the park to themselves- a bit of a surprise, but then maybe it shouldn't have been...
Blitz didn't really remember what celebrating Father's Day had been like when he had lived in Mexico, but he supposed alot of people stayed home or had community events or something....
Regardless, he gave his head a shake and started searching the park for the source of the noises
It wouldn't bother him if other people were around- it was a public park after all, no, the problem was that whoever was making noises were keeping themselves hidden and that..... couldn't possibly lead to any good results
After all, why would you be trying to hide yourself in a public park? Especially in broad daylight and with very few people around? It just sounded like bad business...
He moved slowly, trying to keep quiet himself so as not to alert whoever he was searching for, his footfall nearly silent, years and years of trying to sneak up on Fizz- just for fun- out in the loud crunchy snow having given him quite a good feel for how to do so....
His eyes suddenly caught on a moving bush
Bracing himself and gearing up for a possible fight, he walked towards it and reached out, suddenly yanking the vegetation aside and earning a shreik of horror from the person in front of him
The very small.... obviously child person....
She was around nine or ten maybe? With half her head sheared short and the other half sporting long, fluffy blonde hair, her eyes bright amber brown and narrowed as she glared up at him
"What do you want?" she bit immediately
Blitz, a little taken aback, stared down at her still, brows raising as he took in the small pile of candy bars next to her and the non-descreipt grey hoodie she was wearing
....
It didn't exactly take a genius to figure out what was going on here
"Ya' know, Santa's gonna put you on the naughty list if you steal," he commented casually, earning an annoyed growl in response
"I don't believe in Santa, and even if I did, I don't fucking care!"
Yikes
"....Ooook, well do you care about your parents finding out?"
"I don't have parents,"
....
Oh
"...Uh..... guardian, then...?"
"I don't have one of those either,"
...
Oh
...
Carefully, Blitz moved to settle down next to her, carefull not to get too close, he didn't want her to think he was like... going to steal her candy or anything....
"...You should really let me uh... get you some real food, ya' know," he said awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck
"I may be an orphan but I do know not to take candy from strangers," she commented tensely, fingers picking at the wrapper of a chocolate bar
"...Or... ya' know.... whatever food you were gonna offer I guess...."
"Smart kid," Blitz nodded carefully, pulling his legs up to his chest
"And if you try to call the cops or CPS, I'll just run, and I'm really, REALLY fast, so you won't catch me,"
"Oh I won't call anybody, those fuckers are just goons anyway, I know that,"
The girl paused, staring up at him with extremely hesitant confusion
"....You.... do....?"
"Shit yeah, my uh..... my old man.... abusive fuckin' asshole and I-... tried... a few times to get help but ya' know.... 'course they didn't want anything to do with it...."
"Oh... sorry...."
"Oh he's dead now so it's fine, it's whatever," Blitz shrugged back casually
"But my point is.... I know they uh... well, how much they 'help' is pretty subjective...."
"...Sooooo you're just gonna leave me alone....?" the kid guessed carefully, clearly hopefully
"Is that what you really want me to do?" Blitz asked
The girl looked like she was about to say "Yes" at first, but the word seemingly died on her tongue, instead opening the chocolate bar and taking a big bite, following that up with a shrug
Right...
Blitz gave a deep, heavy breath, rubbing the back of his neck
Dammit, there were no easy solutions for a problem like this....
He really wanted to help, he wanted to take her back to Christmas Town where he knew she would be safe, but that screamed all sorts of Stranger Danger levels and he didn't want to cause her to get upset or distrust him...
He couldn't really trust the human authorities- they'd sooner charge her with petty theft than actually help- and he didn't know anyone in this world now to offer any personal help either
Dammit....
"I'm Blitz," he finally decided to say, offering his hand out to her
The girl stared at it for a moment, before hesitantly giving it a quick shake and returning to her chocolate bar, muttering her name a moment later
"Loona- with two 'o's, not a 'u',"
"Oh, cool, how come?"
"'Cause it's cooler," she shrugged back, face turning a bit red
"Yeah it is," Blitz agreed, glancing over his shoulder, attempting to think of something else to say, some way to help, only to pause suddenly when his eyes locked on Stolas and Octavia again..... and on the fucking FUCKER who was chatting up his boyfreind!
"Hold that thought sweetie," he said abruptly, jumping to his feet and running off towards the swingset, anger boiling immediately in his veins, frost starting to coat the tips of his fingers
Blitz was half human, and even full-blooded elves had very little in terms of magic, especally when it came to elemental magic, but Blitz had found that in moments of extreme emotion, he could conjure a little something or other sometimes
Apparently now was one of those times
"Hey dickbag! What're you trying to convince my boyfreind to do!?!?"
Penn froze like a possum, stiff and anxious, and turned back to stare down at Blitz
"Nothing! I was merely mentioning to him that the position of Father's Day Spirit is about to become open, and if he so chose-"
"He doesn't want anything to do with becoming your crappy little apprentice, he's MY human, so fuckin' beat it!" Blitz seethed, earning a wince from Penn as the other spirit cleared his throat, rubbing his hands on his sweater vest as though that would somehow make him look less awkward or scared out of his mind
"You know, you odn't have to be so aggressive, it wasn't as if I was trying to 'steal your man' or any such nonsense, I was merely offering him a working position-"
"In an entirely different realm that he's never even been to," Blitz pointed out quickly
"Look, I know all about your shitty opinion of your own holiday and I sympathize-" actually he really didn't "-but you're not gonna use MY boyfreind to get out of whatever fuckin' deal you got yourself into in the first place- so fuckin' SCRAM already-"
Blitz paused, ice now forming on the ground around him as he reached out, his hand curling around Penn's shirt collar, crystals of ice forming on the fabric as he yanked the other down for a confrontational glare
"-before I make you,"
Penn swallowed hard, clearing his throat and muttering something so quick and illegible that Blitz couldn't even understand it, before skittering off in the other direction
Blitz huffed, wiping his hands on his jacket as flakes and crystals of ice fell from his fingertips, causing little frozen patches to form on the ground below
"You ok hermosa?" he asked worriedly, reaching up to pull Stolas down by the shirt collar and squinting at him, as if trying to examine him for some sort of sign of damage
"I'm fine dear, I'm fine, but um..... you... have an audience....."
Practically stiffening into stone, Blitz slowly glanced over his shoulder, a frigid chill of anxiety slithering down his spine as he stared at Loona, standing right behind him, her eyes wide and her mouth open
Blitz slowly glanced down at the ice that had gathered at his feet, clearing his throat and taking a cautious step forward
"....Soooooooo uh-"
"How did you do that?" she wispered, her eyes instantly flickering down to the ice on the ground
Yeah, fuck it, he knew she had seen that...
"Um...."
Well, there was really no explanation that was going to sound normal or natural so he guessed he might as well just fucking go for the truth
"I'm one of Santa's elves," he explained simply, giving a little shrug
"I guess sometimes when I'm.... really emotional I can uh... sometimes do ice stuff? I don't know, actually, this doesn't really happen that often to me...."
"....Are you serious?" Loona asked carefully, taking a step forward
"About the... elf thing...?"
"Yeah!" Octavia beamed, jumping down from the swing- apparently only just then finding a reason to care about any of this
"Daddy and I live with him in Christmas Town!"
"...Don't you mean the North Pole...?"
"Uh, no, acutally, that's a long story, but-"
"I know it sounds crazy," Stolas interjected, as though trying to save this downwards spiral from getting even worse
"Trust me, I didn't believe it at first either but..... he's telling the truth, he really is one of Santa's elves,"
Still seemingly in disbeleif, Loona bent down, reaching out and stroking her fingers along the ice- wich was quickly melting in the summer heat
"...It's real...."
"Yeah, I know," Blitz chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly
"Like I said, the ice is new, but usually I'm all about gift giving, ya' know, I make toys and shit, grant Christmas wishes, that sorta thing,"
"You.... grant wishes....?" Loona asked carefully, slowly rising back up to her feet
"Yeah, sometimes," Blitz confirmed
"....Is it-... I mean.... can you only do it at Christmas...?"
That was a bit of a hard question to answer- technically he really was only able to grant Christmas wishes, but when those wishes were made was kind of an arbitrary thing....
"Uh..... ya' know what? Go for it, what's your Christmas wish Loona?"
Maybe he'd be able to grant it if it was phrased like that, maybe he could do something for her even if-
"I want a family," she blurted out quietly, taking a carefull step closer
"I just....... want a family for Christmas,"
For a moment, the park was silent- not even the sound of the trees rustling in the breeze interrupted the stillness of the moment, but then, with care and caution, Blitz bent down, holding his hand out for the little girl
"I think I can grant that one,"
~+~
"I get my own room?"
"Yeah, but it's gonna, ya' know, take a minute to get rennovated, so in the mean time, you'll share with Via, is... that ok...?"
"Yeah," Loona smiled excitedly and maybe just a little bit shyly
"It's totally fine,"
"Wanna see our room?" Octavia offered, wrapping her little hands around Loona's and dragging her off towards the upstairs
"Yeah, let's go!"
Stolas and Blitz watched from the foot of the stairs, the former leaning his head against the elf's shoulder and hugging him closer
"I don't want to ask if you're sure about this," he noted simply
"....But..... are you...?"
"Yeah," Blitz replied confidently
"I'm the second most sure I've ever been,"
"Second?" Stolas echoed in moderate surprise
"Yeah, don't, ya' know, let it go to your head or anything, but I was uh.... first most sure with.... you...."
"Mm, don't worry, I won't take it too seriously," Stolas chuckled, although it was completely fucking obvious that he was absolutely letting that go to his head
"Sure you won't," Blitz snorted, rolling his eyes, but.... there was a smile on his face, delicate but confident
Next year, he'd actually be able to celebrate Father's Day- like, for real....
For the first time in his life, he found himself excited for next year
~+~
"What now Papa?"
"What are you going to do now Papa?"
"Are you going to look for somebody else Daddy?"
Penn went stiff, face screwing up in moderate disgust as he stared down at the one egg who had apparently gone off script
"Do not call me that, and to answer your silly little questions, I'm going to bide my time, wait it out, I've found my perfect replacement and I'm NOT letting him go,"
"Oooh, you really think the human is perfect Daddy?"
Penn gave a short gagging sound
"I told you not to call me that! And no, not the human," he replied, a grin slipping over his face, eyes twinkling with delight
"Didn't you watch what happened after we were forced away? There is something special about that smaller creature that only I seem to be genius enough to see- he is my perfect successor- I just need to find the right opportunity, the right motivator and then..... that elf will become exactly what I need...."
"Swell plan Daddy!"
"Yeah, you're gonna do it this time for SURE Daddy!"
"The elf won't see it coming Daddy-o!"
Penn sighed miserably, slinking down in his seat
"I never thought I'd say this, but please just back to calling me 'Papa'...."