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“Elliot. It’s Mike. He’s been shot. We—I didn’t search. He had a gun. I left him inside. He’s in surgery.”
“Where?”
“Lincoln. It’s bad Elliot. I don’t know if— He lost a lot of—”
“I’ll be there soon.”
“Noah—”
“I’ll figure it out. Do you need—?”
“You. I need you. Just be here.”
That call had been almost an hour ago now, and he had no further updates. He had texted her, letting her know he was on his way, but he had heard nothing back from her, not that he had really expected any response anyway. He knew that as soon as she hung up the phone, she had gone straight back to being Lieutenant Benson, the one holding it all together and being strong for her squad and for those around her. She would be the one they would turn to for support, comfort, and guidance as they waited and grieved.
He knew the pain, the grief, and the guilt she felt was left back with Olivia to be dealt with when she had a moment to breathe, to process, to think, so she could allow herself to fall apart.
The ding of the elevator brought him back to the present, and he took a deep breath, knowing that Olivia, in the midst of being there for everyone else, just needed someone to be there for her, to comfort her, to support her, and to guide her. As the doors opened, he readjusted Noah in his arms and kissed the top of his head as the little boy burrowed his face further into his neck.
“Let’s go find Mommy, Noah.”
“Stabler!” He turned around quickly and stopped as he came face to face with Ed Tucker.
“Look, I don’t have time—”
Tucker cut him off and pointed into the room he just came from. “She’s in there. She’s waiting for you.”
He looked over and saw Olivia leaned against the wall, phone clutched tightly in her hand. Her eyes were closed and her fingers were tapping against her leg; he knew she was doing her best to keep herself grounded while everything around her was seemingly falling apart. He turned back to Tucker, eyes narrowing slightly. “Have you interviewed her yet?”
“No,” Tucker shook his head, “she has time. Despite what you might think, Elliot, I’m not here to cause her any trouble. I’m only here doing my job.”
Elliot was about to respond when Noah shifted in his sleep and dropped his stuffed elephant.
“I got it.” Tucker bent down and picked the elephant up and gently tucked it back into Noah’s embrace without waking him. Tucker grinned as Noah snuggled back up with his stuffy. “Sweet kid. Anyway, I’ll be back later. Take care of her, Stabler.”
Elliot only managed to nod before Tucker walked away. The conversation caught him completely off guard, but he didn’t have time to question that now. He turned and made his way closer to Olivia who was still leaning against the wall with her eyes closed.
“Liv.”
She turned at the sound of his voice, and as their eyes met, he could see the tears threatening to fall and the grief etched into her features. Her voice broke as she spoke. “Elliot. He may not make it. I didn’t check— it was his last day. I should have let him walk those kids to the car. I had a feeling—”
He took her hand into his and pulled her into him. “Shh, baby. It’s not—don’t do that. There are so many ways that could have gone.”
“Elliot.”
Before she could say anything else, Chief Dodds stepped back into the room. “Alice is flying in from Chicago.”
Olivia gently removed herself from Elliot’s embrace before turning her attention completely back to the Chief. “That’s good.”
Elliot stood there watching Olivia as she easily slipped back into the role of leader and comforter as Dodd’s continued speaking. “Captain Tucker has arranged for her to be picked up and driven here straight from the airport.”
Olivia took her hand and comforted Dodds with a quick rub to the arm. “We’ll keep watch for her.”
Elliot nodded alongside her, and Dodds smiled and walked away toward the coffee machine with his phone clutched tightly in his hand.
“He’s hurting,” Olivia whispered as she watched him walk away.
“So are you.” Elliot took her hand in his again. “What do you need, Olivia?”
She tilted her head and looked up at him, the sadness still evident in her eyes. “Just be here.”
He kissed the top of her head, and whispered into her hair, “I’m not going anywhere.”
“I know.” She kissed him quickly before turning her attention to Noah who had started to snore slightly. “He’s probably getting heavy.”
“A little bit.” He smiled at her and pulled her toward the couch in the room. “Katie’s going to come pick him up once she gets off work in about thirty minutes or so.”
“Lucy?” she questioned as she sat down on the couch.
“She had her final tonight.” Elliot passed Noah off to her before sitting down and pulling them both close to his side. “She offered to come back and stay with him, but she’s studied so hard for that test, and I didn’t want her to miss it. I was already home when Fin texted me.” Elliot took a second to dig into the backpack he brought and pulled out Noah’s blanket to wrap around the sleeping boy. “I wasn’t sure about bringing him, but I knew Katie would be here soon, and he would stay asleep as long as he had Eddie and blankie.”
“I totally forgot.” Olivia sighed, running her hands across Noah’s back before adjusting the blanket and managing to knock Eddie off into Elliot’s lap in the process.
“Plus, I knew you needed me too.” Elliot picked Eddie up from where the toy had fallen and grinned. “Even Superwoman needs a shoulder to cry on every once in a while, or maybe just a stuffed elephant who keeps trying to run away.”
Olivia managed a small smile. “I love you.”
“I love you too, Olivia.”
~oOo~
Elliot watched Olivia in silence as she rubbed Noah’s back and buried her nose in his hair as the little boy slept. He held her close to his side, trying his best to protect her and comfort her in what little ways he could, for now. Even though bringing Noah had been a necessity in the moment, he was glad now that he had brought him if just for a little while. The presence of the little boy provided a peace throughout the waiting room as they all waited for news.
His phone vibrated in his hand, and he looked down to see a message from Katie letting him know she was on her way up to pick up Noah for the night. He quickly responded with their location.
“Liv,” he laid his hand across hers on Noah’s back, “Katie’s here.”
She nodded and placed a long kiss to Noah’s forehead before whispering, “I love you sweet boy, be good for your sister.”
Noah grunted in his sleep, causing them both to laugh quietly.
Elliot placed a soft kiss to his forehead as he took him from Liv’s arms. “I love you, Noah. I’ll take care of Mommy.”
“Lieu,” Carisi whispered as he walked toward them with Katie following close behind, “your daughter’s here.”
Elliot and Olivia smiled at each other, not bothering to correct Carisi as Katie made her way to Olivia and wrapped her tightly in a hug. “We’re all praying for him and his family. For you too.”
Olivia smiled at her step-daughter before tightening the hug. “Thank you, and thank you for taking Noah.”
“Always, that’s what older siblings are for.” Kathleen winked as she took Noah’s backpack and Noah from her dad. “I’ll keep him safe.”
“I know.” Olivia smiled as Katie walked away with her son wrapped tightly in his blankie and Eddie stuffed under his arm.
“Oh,” Katie turned back around, “Grandma is making lunch for everyone tomorrow, including your squad. She’s also making care packages for the Chief and his family. Send us updates when you can, so we know when to deliver, okay?”
Elliot nodded, and Katie smiled once more as she took Noah and left. Just as she was leaving, the doctor walked back into the waiting room. Elliot could feel the peace that covered the room falter for a bit as the doctor sought out Chief Dodds.
Elliot waited with baited breath as the doctor spoke, and he held his hand to Olivia’s back offering comfort for whatever news they were about to receive.
“It was touch and go for a while, but you were right. He’s a fighter, and he’s in the ICU.”
“Can I see him?”
“Of course. Due to the anesthesia, he will be in and out.”
As the Chief hurriedly left the room, Elliot let out the breath he had been holding as he stepped forward and ran his hand up and down Olivia’s back. She turned to him and smiled.
“Come here, Olivia,” he whispered into her hair and opened his arms for her to step into if she wanted.
She stepped closer to him and fell into his arms, a quiet sob leaving her body as she let him take on some of the weight she had been carrying all night.
“It’s okay,” he continued whispering to her, knowing right now she needed the quiet reassurances, “let it out.”
He held her for a few minutes more before she pulled back slightly and whispered, “Thank you for just being here.”
“Always. I’ll always be here for you and for Noah.” He leaned in and whispered only for her to hear, “I’ll never willing leave you again, Olivia.”
~oOo~
Elliot stood behind Fin watching as Olivia walked somberly toward her squad. He could tell, they could all see the news written across her face.
Sergeant Mike Dodds was gone.
He watched as her squad, one by one, walked back into the waiting room to have a moment of silence before collecting their things and parting ways to prepare for the service they knew would soon come. He watched as Fin shook his head in disbelief. He stepped around him, clapping him on the shoulder in solidarity before making his way to Olivia.
Immediately, she stepped into his outstretched arms and allowed him to pull her into his chest where he immediately felt her tears soak his shirt. He knew, in this moment, she was done with being Lieutenant Benson, and was purely Olivia. Olivia, the one needing to deal with the pain, the grief, and unfortunately her guilt.
He wished more than anything he could take away her pain, but he knew he couldn’t. All he could do was just be there. The one thing she had always wanted, had always needed.
He pulled her closer toward him and took as much of her weight as he could. “Let’s go home, Olivia.”