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It’s comical, really, that it only takes one dinner to change the course of Rin’s future. It’s annoyingly predictable that Sae is the instigator of it all.
“Have you met anyone you like?” Rin’s mom asks with a warm smile. It’s an innocent enough question, and he’s prepared to shrug it off without much thought when Sae barges into the conversation with an annoying laugh.
Rin shoots him daggers, which only encourages his brother.
“I don’t think Rin is capable of a relationship,” Sae says. The words come out as a joke, but they’re laced with a venom that’s all too familiar. Rin’s grown immune to his brother’s antics.
Their mom frowns, and Rin knows she’s about to come to his defense, but he doesn’t need anyone to stand up for him, and by the time he processes the words that leave his mouth, it’s too late.
“Fuck you, I have a boyfriend,” Rin spits, the words tumbling out before he can stop them.
Sae raises a skeptical eyebrow. Their mom’s mouth falls open slightly before her lips form a smile. “Oh Rin, that’s amazing. What’s his name?”
“Yeah, Rin, what’s his name? ” Sae asks, leveling him with a look that calls bullshit.
Rin blurts out the first name that finds its way to his brain and immediately regrets it. “Isagi.”
Anyone but Isagi. Why did he say Isagi?! Internally, Rin groans the biggest groan of his life, but outwardly, his expression stands still.
Sae smirks. “Invite him over for dinner, then.”
Their mom perks up. “I would love to meet him. Will the two of you be free next Saturday?”
Sae’s eyes are burning into him, and that smug look on his face pisses Rin off. He’ll make Sae eat his words. He’ll show him just how capable of having a relationship he is.
⚘⚘⚘
Isagi is staring at him like he has three heads—his mouth wide open and his eyes swimming with shock. Rin regrets every decision that has led him to this point.
“Forget it,” Rin mumbles, opening the book in front of him and hoping they can just pretend this conversation never happened. He’ll find another way to prove that he can have a relationship.
Isagi’s features calm as he shakes his head. “No, no! I want to help. I know you and your brother have a complicated relationship…let’s prove him wrong!”
A strange and somewhat uncomfortable flutter passes through Rin’s stomach. Is he nervous? No—he doesn’t have a reason to be nervous. Rin forces his gaze to remain on Isagi, despite the annoying urge to stare down at the pages of his book instead.
“I’ll pick you up at five on Saturday,” Rin says.
Isagi’s smile is wide and gentle. “Looking forward to it!”
The flutter returns, and this time, Rin can’t help but retreat to the book. What the hell is happening to him?
⚘⚘⚘
Saturday comes all too quickly. Rin picks Isagi up from the college campus and has to do a double take when he sees Isagi standing there in black jeans and a black button-up. Rin doesn’t think he’s ever seen Isagi in anything that isn’t a simple t-shirt or a sweater. Isagi loves his sweaters a ridiculous amount.
“You look….different,” Rin says as Isagi slides into the car's passenger seat.
Isagi smiles. Rin can feel the nerves radiating off of him, but he’s clearly trying to hide it. “You can tell me I look good,” Isagi says playfully.
Something stirs in Rin’s chest. He’s getting really tired of the sensation. He doesn’t bother with a response, choosing to roll his eyes and stare at the road.
He’d be happy to spend the rest of the drive in silence, but Isagi has other plans.
“How should I act around your family?” Isagi asks. Rin can feel Isagi’s eyes on him.
“Just act like yourself,” Rin says.
“Right…” Isagi is quiet for all of thirty seconds. “But how should I act…with you? Should we hold hands or…?”
The or hangs heavy between them.
This was a horrible idea. Rin’s stomach is in knots now, and his brain keeps filling in the blank of what or means.
Or kiss.
Rin’s twenty, and he still hasn’t had his first kiss. Maybe this is a good opportunity to get it over with? It’s just a stupid kiss—it’s not a big deal.
He thinks about kissing Isagi and feels his face heat up. Fuck. He kicks the thought out of his brain and sighs. “It depends on how annoying Sae is being.”
⚘⚘⚘
Sae, naturally, is annoying as hell.
He’s grilling them with questions before dinner even starts, and while Isagi has managed to remain calm and collected on the outside, Rin can still feel Isagi’s nerves bubbling in between them. He pushes his leg against Isagi’s before he realizes what he’s doing, and Isagi briefly stutters before catching himself.
“So, Isagi , what made you fall for my brother?”
Rin finds his mouth opening to shut down the question, his chest fluttering as his lips part, but before any words escape, Isagi is already answering.
“Ah, well, we started off as friends and it just kind of grew from there. Rin didn’t like me much at first, but I wore him down eventually,” Isagi says with a laugh. There’s a small pause before Isagi continues, and the softness of his smile causes Rin’s heart to clench. “Rin is always striving to be the best. I really admire that about him. That’s what drew me to him at the start. He’s committed to his goals and doesn’t know how to give up. He always goes after what he wants. And then the more I got to know him, I saw that underneath his hard exterior, he’s just like, a big softy.”
Rin scowls and Isagi laughs as he catches Rin’s eye. “Stop glaring, you know it’s true! Remember when we found that stray kitten and you wouldn’t leave its side for a week? Softy, ” Isagi insists with a grin. Rin’s heart just about leaps out of his chest. This can’t be happening to him.
He can feel Sae watching him and has to act like he’s not getting slammed with the realization that he has feelings for Isagi. Real, nonplatonic feelings.
Rin just rolls his eyes and looks away, ignoring the loud beating in his chest as he tries to force words out of his mouth. The sound of his mom calling for them to help her set up in the kitchen saves him, and Rin has never put so much attention into setting the table before.
⚘⚘⚘
With his mom as a buffer, the rest of the dinner goes smoothly. But it’s not until Rin is alone in the car with Isagi again that Rin allows himself a breath of relief, albeit an extremely short-lived relief, ruined the moment he looks up to see Isagi already staring at him, his stomach swarming with butterflies.
Butterflies! Rin Itoshi is not the kind of person that gets butterflies, except, apparently he is, and seriously, what the fuck?
Rin tears his gaze from Isagi and looks out the window, immediately annoyed to find Sae watching them at the doorstep. In his annoyance, Rin gets an idea. An idea that will allow him to shove his relationship in Sae face while simultaneously testing his feelings. Before he can doubt himself, he grabs Isagi’s face in his hands, and kisses him.
The butterflies go crazy. He has his answer.
When he pulls away, his face is hot. Luckily, it doesn’t seem like Isagi is any better off—his own cheeks bright red as he looks at Rin in shock.
“Sae was watching us,” Rin says in way of explanation.
“Right,” Isagi says softly. The corner of his lip twists down. Rin pulls his eyes away and turns his key in the ignition.
He wonders if that was Isagi’s first kiss, too. He doesn’t ask.
The ride to Isagi’s is silent.
⚘⚘⚘
Alone and in the safety of his bed, Rin checks his phone to find a text from Sae, the contact name “Don’t Answer” flashing across his screen.
» I can’t believe you really found someone who likes you for you. Don’t blow it, Mom likes him.
Rin glares at the message before dropping his head into his pillow, a groan escaping him. What was it Isagi had said about him? He always goes after what he wants?
Well—he doesn’t see why that should be any different when what he wants is Isagi.
⚘⚘⚘
Rin is out of breath when he makes it to Isagi’s door, knocking before he has a single clue what he’s going to say when the door opens, which happens a whole two seconds later, Isagi’s eyes widening at the sight of Rin.
“Ri —” Isagi starts, but Rin pushes forward and cuts him off, going straight for Isagi’s lips. He’s never been great with his words.
Rin pushes himself inside, throwing the door closed behind them. Isagi’s mouth finally gets the memo and kisses back, and as soon as Isagi’s body presses into him, the annoying butterflies that refuse to leave him alone erupt through his chest and stomach.
Isagi pulls away too soon. Rin’s eyes blink open, meeting Isagi’s confused gaze. Words. Rin searches for the right ones.
“Be my boyfriend,” he says.
Isagi stares at him. “Like…you need me to pretend to be your boyfriend again?”
“No,” Rin says, ignoring the nervous beat of his heart. This is why he doesn’t do feelings. “I want you to be my boyfriend. No pretending.”
“Are you messing with me?”
Of course that’s what Isagi would think. Rin can’t say it isn’t deserved. Anytime they’d talked about relationships, Rin had always said he wasn’t interested in a relationship. And even now that he wants to be in one, he has no idea what it means.
How do things change if Isagi says yes?
More kissing, Rin hopes. He really, really likes kissing. He likes it a stupid amount.
“I want to be your boyfriend,” Rin says, attempting to keep his tone soft.
A beat passes. And then another. And then Isagi’s lip is pulling up and he’s grinning, his smile curling Rin’s stomach. The butterflies have a field day, and Rin resigns himself to the fact that the flutter in his stomach isn’t going away anytime soon.
“Okay,” Isagi agrees, nodding like Rin might change his mind if he hesitates any longer. “Boyfriends,” he says, his smile growing as he tries the word out. There’s a pause before Isagi’s expression shifts to curiosity. “What do we do, now that we’re boyfriends?” Isagi looks down and blushes. “You’re my first relationship, and when you kissed me in the car…that was my first kiss.”
Rin almost feels guilty about the relief that knowledge sends through him. He doesn’t want to think about Isagi kissing anyone besides him.
“It was my first, too,” Rin admits, because Isagi looks embarrassed, and it’s so fucking cute it’s driving Rin crazy, and…is this his life now? Just losing it anytime Isagi does anything? How did he not notice his feelings sooner!?
Sae would say it was because he was emotionally constipated, but he was one to talk. The Itoshi brothers excelled at ignoring their emotions, not acknowledging them.
“I really want to kiss you again,” Rin says, because he can still taste Isagi on his lips and the distance between them is too big.
People are always talking about love languages—maybe his is physical touch? He wonders what Isagi’s is. Quality time seems like an Isagi-esque love language.
Rin thinks about asking Isagi about it, but before he gets a chance, Isagi is closing the small gap between them and pressing his mouth against Rin’s, soft and gentle and so unlike the two kisses they’ve already shared. Love languages can wait—Rin has a boyfriend to kiss.
Those pesky butterflies soar through him, and all Rin can do is smile against Isagi’s lips.
One day, he’ll have to thank Sae for being an asshole.