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Sirius couldn’t sleep. This fact wasn’t new or interesting anymore. He was just so tired, and turning his brain off for a few hours was more than a little enticing. Sighing, he shifted in bed so he didn’t wake Remus and sat up, putting his bare feet on the cold floor. He heaved himself up and slipped out the door of their room.
The shadows in the hallway loomed larger than they should have in the darkest hour of the night. Sirius crept along the hall to the stairway and climbed up to the top floor, where he opened the door to the attic and went inside. This and his room had been his hideouts when he was a kid. His mother never deigned to traipse all the way up here, no matter how angry she was at him. Only Regulus would join him up there and they would look out the large windows, spinning stories about the clouds or rummaging through the old boxes full of forgotten family heirlooms…or things that his mother deemed too ugly and useless.
He sank down to the floor by the largest window. Here, he could see the night sky and whatever stars were visible through the London light pollution. His namesake wasn’t visible until the winter and he missed seeing it. Being in hiding had been stressful, but there were times, like now, that he missed it. He missed being able to move about as he pleased, even if he did have to evade capture. Being shut up in Grimmauld Place again was almost like being back in prison.
At least he was free of the dementors.
The next thing he knew, sun was pouring in through the window and Remus was shaking his leg gently. He blinked at Remus blearily.
“Pads?”
“Yeah?” Remus sat down next to him, drawing him into his side. He rested his head on Remus’s shoulder.
“Couldn’t sleep?” Remus asked, mildly.
“No, I just thought this would be more comfortable than our bed,” Sirius murmured.
“And was it?”
“Absolutely not.”
Remus chuckled a little. “Do you want to lie down?”
“Maybe later,” Sirius said.
“Do you want breakfast?”
“Yes,” Sirius said. Remus stood and held out his hand, which Sirius took as he stood.
They went down to the large, empty kitchen. Kreacher was nowhere to be found, which was how Sirius liked it best. He had no desire to interact with the elf who’d carried out his parents’ orders when he was growing up in this dark, dank house.
Remus had guard duty for the Order later, and Sirius was left alone. He took a nap in the afternoon, then made his way up to the attic again. He opened one of the windows, letting in the late fall air. Breathing deeply, he closed his eyes so he could feel the sun on his face.
He went over to the line of boxes against the wall and peered at them curiously. Waving his wand over the boxes made the dust disappear. He crouched down, wondering if these were the same boxes he and Regulus had explored when they were hiding from Walburga. He pulled out an old pocket watch, a picture frame and a sheaf of letters. He picked up the pocket watch and examined it. It was tarnished, but Sirius remembered this watch. He turned it over, and he could see the Hydra constellation etched on the back. Running his finger over the familiar lines, he thought, not for the first time, about the owner of the watch.
His Uncle Alphard.
Sirius missed him. It was that simple. Alphard had been such a vibrant, colorful figure in his life, so different from the other buttoned up Blacks. He had been the second person Sirius told about him and Remus because he knew Alphard would understand. Alphard had just grinned at him and said, “Good for you, kid.”
He touched the letters, expecting them to be from his parents or someone else. But when he unfolded then, he saw:
My darling bright star,
It has been entirely too long since I’ve held you in my arms. I know we have to be discreet but if you miss me as I miss you, I wish you to join me for a glass of wine at sunset tomorrow night. I have something to show you.
Always, your flower
Sirius’s eyes grew round. He didn’t know too much about Alphard’s personal life. He’d been just a kid when they’d spent the bulk of their time together. But clearly, Alphard had a lover. Curiosity got the better of him as he read the next letter.
My sweet flower,
I so enjoyed our beautiful evening together. I am counting the hours till we can be together again. My family continues to pry into my business, but I hold our secret close to my heart. The ice cream was perfect. It is as sweet as you are, and the public will adore it.
Always, your bright star.
Ice cream? Sirius flipped through his memories. Uncle Alphard’s lover was…Florean Fortescue? There were not a lot of ice cream makers in Wizarding London, and Alphard had lived in London until he died. Sirius knew his memory was not what it used to be, especially after having to suppress so many memories to keep the dementors away.
Footsteps started Sirius out of his contemplation.
Remus poked his head up into the attic. “Pads?”
“Hey,” Sirius said, his face softening when he saw Remus. Remus approached him and kissed him. He melted into Remus, kissing him slowly and hungrily.
“What do you have there?” Remus asked, indicating the letters on the floor.
“It would appear that my Uncle Alphard and Florean Fortescue were lovers…” Sirius said.
“Really,” Remus said, looking at the small pile of letters curiously. “Did anyone know?”
“That’s what I’m trying to figure out,” Sirius said, thoughtfully as he picked up another letter. This one was dated August 1971,
…As I sit here on the balcony on the French Riviera, I cannot help but think of you, my love. I took this trip against my better judgment and now realize the distance is not worth it. Every morning I wake by myself thinking I should apparate home to you and be done with it. But I do need to keep an eye on my nephew, who has been getting himself into scrapes all summer. I fear for him, being left alone with my sister in this state. And so I stay, because I see so much of myself in this boy…
Sirius closed his eyes. He felt tears starting. He remembered that trip. It was right after his first year at Hogwarts. He’d been acting out because he hadn’t wanted to go on the trip in the first place. James had invited him to his house and Walburga refused, saying they were going to France instead. He remembered Alphard taking him on several excursions. He’d been grateful to his uncle for time away from his mother. They spent a lot of time together on that trip. It had never occurred to Sirius that his uncle had stayed for him .
He could feel Remus’s presence at his side, which brought him back to the present. He smiled ruefully as he passed the letter to Remus.
“I remember the love letters you sent me that summer,” Remus said. “”Save me from my family, they’re all evil. I can’t wait to come back to school.’”
Sirius chuckled. “Sounds about right. It’s funny…I really enjoyed his company on that trip. He never made it obvious he didn’t want to be there.”
“I supposed he wouldn’t,” Remus said. “Are you hungry?”
“You don’t have to take care of me, Moony,” Sirius said, leaning his head against Remus’s shoulder. Remus pressed a kiss to his temple.
“Now you tell me.”
Sirius snorted. “Shut up.”
***
Over the next few days, Sirius found himself gravitating to the attic and the letters more and more. The photo he’d found was the only one he could find of Alphard and Florean together, outside of Fortescue’s Ice Cream Parlour for the grand opening.
Sirius wondered about them. He wished he could leave Grimmauld Place to visit Florean, but that would take some planning and probably an accomplice. He didn’t want to bother Remus just yet about it since the full moon was approaching and he was busy carrying out business for the order.
He also remembered other letters. Letters he never wrote down physically or sent, but little snippets of things he’d wanted to tell Remus over the years while they were apart. He wondered if he would have been as eloquent and flowery as his uncle. Probably not.
They were cleaning up from dinner one evening and Remus said, “I keep thinking about those letters. Do you think Florean knew he saved them?”
“I have no idea,” Sirius admitted.
Remus looked at him sideways. “We could…give them to him? He might be happy to have them if they were as in love as the letters suggest.”
“I was thinking that too…I just know it’s bad timing…” Sirius said.
“Pads,” Remus said, softly. “The timing doesn’t matter.”
Sirius looked at him, surprised. “Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
Sirius made his way back up to the attic the next morning to gather the letters, the watch and the photo. There was one more letter that he hadn’t seen that caught his attention.
…I couldn’t get this flavor right. I wanted it to be like your scent. Something sweet but smoky and intense too. It is hard to translate that into an ice cream flavor. I believe I succeeded. When you are home again, you must try it. I will compare it to the way your skin tastes…
Sirius’s eyes widened as he finished the letter and slipped back downstairs.
“Ready?” Remus asked, taking his arm.
“Yup.” Sirius felt the pull of apparition and as soon as they reappeared on the street in Muggle London, he transformed into Padfoot. Remus clipped a collar around his neck and attached a lead to make it more convincing.
They made their way into Diagon Alley. It had been a long time since Sirius had been there and he stopped to sniff several times along the way. He figured Remus would think he was stalling so they could stay out longer, but there were so many different smells that wafted past his sensitive nose that he couldn’t help it.
Fortescue’s was not busy at this relatively early hour as they’d predicted. Florean was behind the counter, wiping it with a rag when they entered. He looked at Padfoot and then back at Remus.
“Dogs aren’t allowed in here,” Florean said. Remus nodded, nudging Padfoot and tying him loosely to one of the tables outside.
When Remus came back, he was holding a dish of vanilla ice cream and Florean was following him curiously. They sat down at the table and Padfoot rested his snout in Remus’s lap.The dish of ice cream Remus was carrying had two spoons and he offered one to Padfoot, who licked the ice cream off with relish.
“What can I do for you?” Florean prompted as Padfoot sniffed his feet.
“Some items came into my possession that I think belong to you,” Remus said. He reached into the tote bag he was carrying and passed the letters, the photo and the pocket watch to Florean. His eyes went round.
“Where did you find these items?” he asked, running his finger over the pocket watch, before reaching for the letters.
“Well…Sirius inherited from his uncle, and these were among his things.” Remus said, not exactly lying, but not telling the whole truth either.
“Well, I’ll be damned,” Florean said more to himself. “It has been a long time.” Remus sat there, quietly watching as Florean looked through the letters. “Mr. Lupin, I don’t know what to say. This was a long time ago, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss him. Thank you.”
Remus glanced at Padfoot. “Mr. Fortescue…I know what it’s like to lose someone you love, and wish you could hold onto pieces of them.” Padfoot barked and Florean gazed at him for a moment, their eyes meeting before he gave a barely perceptible nod.
A customer with several children in tow entered the shop and Florean waved to them as he got up. “Thank you again,” he said, this time looking at Padfoot, who wagged his tail. He got up and went to serve his customers.
Once they arrived back in Grimmauld Place, Remus made them steaming mugs of tea. “We did a good deed, didn’t we?” Sirius said, sitting down next to Remus and sliding his arm around his waist. Remus leaned into him.
“We did,” Remus said.
“You were talking about me, weren’t you? When you said what you said?” Sirius asked, softly. He already knew the answer, given how their flat had looked mostly the same as before his arrest.
Remus nodded. “But now I have more than just pieces of our memories. Now we’re making new ones.”