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Let me take care of you

Summary:

A/n.: This is for my darling violetmiroh and everyone who gives everything for the people around and always put themselves back, for everyone struggling with grieve without anyone who to care for them, for everyone who keeps everything to themselves to not be a burden for anyone. Big hugs go out to you guys. 💕

Notes:

Warnings: mention of the loss of a loved one, my bad writing, if you squint your eyes reader is the definition of most mentally unstable people.

Kudos and comments are always welcome! :) If you'd like to request something, just dm me or send an ask or dm via Tumblr! My name is cielie-voss

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

"Hey Darling, you okay?" His soft hand feels warm under your wet shirt. You don't know how long you sat there in the rain, you just know the drops and the sound of the rain calms your busy mind.
A smile creeps on your lips for a split second as you nod before turning into a heartbroken grimace.
"Oh, no, come here." Tears start to stream down your face as he wraps his arms around you to pull you flush against his chest. "It's ok." His voice was nothing more than a whisper, only audible just for you, and mixed with the splattering rain into something that pulls out the plug deep down in your mind. Everything starts to bubble up again, there is no hiding or suppressing anymore.
Hot tears leave their trails on your cold cheeks, sobs rocking your body as you bury your fingernails in his shirt. The smell of his cologne and the last cigarette he smoked hours ago is filling your nose, giving you some weird feeling of being home.
"You wanna talk about it?", he breaks the silence after a few seconds as your sobs become less heavy and frequent.
With his thumb he carefully wipes away the last tears and looks you deep in the eyes.
"Only if you want to. It's absolutely okay if you don't. We can just sit here or get a pizza and chill in my van or listen to some music or … "
"Pizza sounds good." With a shaky voice you interrupt his nervous babbling. He freezes for a second and looks at you until he shakes the trance off and puts on a soft and warm smile.
"Well, then pizza it is." With that he grabs your hand and gives it a little squeeze. Eddie makes sure you are slowly getting up without stumbling due to your weak knees.
He is mesmerized by your strength, your power and the way you are always so selfless. You know each other only for a few months now, but it instantly clicked between you and Eddie and it's like you're friends for like forever. It just feels so natural to be around you, to talk to you, to just lay next to you in silence in his van after he picks you up after work.
He guides you to his car and offers a pack of Kleenex. Grateful you take the pack to wipe away the remaining tears and blow your stuffy nose. Between shaky breaths and occasional sobs your gaze wanders to Eddie's hand, comfortingly resting on your knee until your fingers find his to intertwine with them.
As your cold fingers touch his, Eddie releases a relieved breath he doesn't know he was holding. The whole time the thoughts are running wild through his mind, not knowing if this intimacy would be okay for you, if you would feel comfortable or if it's too much for you right now. But as soon as he feels your touch he knows you are alright with this.
After a short ride Eddie parks the van and looks at you for a moment before he asks what kind of pizza you want. You just shrug.
"I don't know. I just … cheese maybe. I like cheese."
A smile tugs at the corner of his lips. "Cheese. Alright. Got it. You wanna wait here?"
Without hesitation you nod and try to bite back another wave of sobs and tears.
"Okay, okay." Quickly he grabs a blanket he knows must be somewhere in the back of his van and drapes it around your shoulders. A simple try to make you feel comfortable and safe.
You take in a deep breath and grab the corners of the blanket to pull it closer around your shoulders.
"Okay, I'll be right back." He squeezes your hand before he leaves the van to get the pizza. It takes a few moments before the door next to you opens suddenly, startling you as you slowly begin to doze off, wrapped up in his blanket, the smell of him filling your nose as you nuzzle your face in the fabric.
Quickly you turn your head only to meet Eddie's warm smile that reaches up to his chocolate brown eyes. You have to blink a few times to fight against the dryness of your sleepy and puffy eyes before you notice the little plushy he helds up to his chin. It's a little raccoon, so small it fits completely in his hand.
As soon as your eyes are able to focus on this little yet incredibly huge sign of affection his smile unknowingly infects you and dances around your lips.
"Found this little guy and he literally begged me to get him for you." Carefully he places the raccoon in your lap before he stores the pizza in his backseat.
"Thank you, Eddie." Your fingers run through the soft fur and you lift his little gift to your face, gently rubbing your cheek against it.
It is only a small plushy, not even a really pretty one. But you love it. You love the meaning behind this gesture. You love the reason Eddie saw this little raccoon, thought of you and was determined to get it for you. It's these little things that matter for you, that make you feel loved and safe. And he knows that. In this whole world, no, in this whole universe, in this exact moment, there is nothing else that could make him happier than seeing you like this because of something he did.
You always make sure your friends are alright, you always care for everyone around you, you always give your last cookie at the cafeteria for Gareth or Dustin, you give everything for everyone. To make it short, your priority list goes something like this:
Your friends
Your family
School and your classmates
Ten million other things
And finally, maybe, sometimes, there is you. You always put everyone and everything above yourself, you only give but never dare to take.
Eddie absolutely respects that and he honors you for that, but you have no clue how much he hates it from time to time. When he sees you absolutely burned out after a stressful day of school and studying, tutoring some kids after school, your mini job as a cashier in the evening and you still push yourself further to do the groceries or the laundry to relieve your mother. There are days you barely sleep or eat, you just work and care for everyone except you.
And after your father died a week earlier it became worse. You had to take care of your mother who was unable to do anything after the loss of her beloved husband, you had to console your siblings who lost their father, your grandparents who lost their son and son in law, you had to plan and organize the funeral, get the money together for the funeral service and a coffin. There was so much to do, so many people you had to help with their grief. But there was no one to help you, there was not a split second where you had the chance to grieve, there was no one to console you, to hold you tight at night when you cried into your pillow so nobody could hear you.
So Eddie decides it's time someone takes care of you, even if you try to refuse the help. This little raccoon and the pizza are only the first steps on his list to help you with all of this, to give back to you everything you gave to the people around you before. To make sure you know that there is someone in your life you can feel safe with, someone you can confide in. And Eddie is as determined as he's never been before that he'll become that person in your life.

Notes:

Thanks for reading! <3

Kudos and comments are always welcome! :) If you'd like to request something, just dm me or send an ask or dm via Tumblr! My name is cielie-voss

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