Work Text:
Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.
Jeonghan glances over at the clock above Joshua’s couch. God, it was loud. So fucking loud. He can’t even hear his thoughts. It was making him go insane. Absolute fucking nonsense. How could a clock be so loud? It’s almost deafening. Almost as if sirens were coming out of it instead of that goddamn ticking sound it always makes. Just stop, please. Please, for the love of God. It was drilling at the speed of light in his head. If only he could take a hammer right now and sma-
“Are we done? Can you go now? I have shit to do.” Joshua says, interrupting his thoughts.
Jeonghan blinks, almost instantly. He gives Joshua a narrowed look. But, he’s never in a hurry. Joshua has always been patient with him. One time he accidentally made Joshua wait out for four hours because he was in line for concert tickets, he only found out that it rained once Joshua flashed him a toothy grin, clothes all soaking wet, and a runny nose. Jeonghan made it up to him with a sunflower the next day.
There was also that one time they fought for six hours on call over a game that Joshua had no clue how to play. Joshua listened to Jeonghan rant for hours and hours about how it was supposed to be played. Joshua kept a smile on his face the entire time, it was offensive to Jeonghan. It was how the fight started. Joshua calmed him down six hours later with a brand new set of Legos, the Eiffel Tower to be exact. It was like damage control. Joshua knew how to handle him.
“Are you in a hurry?” Jeonghan stumbles upon his words.
“Yeah, I told you. I have a lot of shit to do.” Joshua responds, unable to look him in the eye.
“Five more minutes.” Jeonghan sighs, closing his eyes—laying his head on the throw pillow beside him.
“You said that five minutes ago.” Joshua huffs, taking a sip of his coffee. It was probably cold by now.
“Please.” Jeonghan pleads, eyes still closed. It came out desperate, but he didn’t care. It was Joshua anyway. Joshua, who he would burn the world with his bare hands for if he could. It was Joshua. His fucking Joshua.
“It doesn’t work that way anymore, Han. Not anymore. We already talked about it.” Joshua says, in almost a whisper.
Jeonghan shuts his eyes a bit harder this time. It hurt. The tears were about to fall. He can’t let that happen. But, unfortunately, a single drop fell into his mouth. It was salty and warm. Tears. Jeonghan remains quiet. It was quiet. Deafening, once again. Joshua tries to speak but stops almost instantly. Jeonghan sighs. He had another five minutes.
Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.
Jeonghan hears the familiar sound of the clock again. It was still so fucking loud. God, who fucking uses a clock nowadays? Our phones exist! It doesn’t make any sound at all, just changes the minutes and hours. He silently hopes Joshua would get rid of this clock one day. But for now, it was his only hope. Five minutes was all he had left with Joshua. He brushes the sound off, counting down the seconds with the clock. Only three minutes left. Jeonghan thinks about breaking the clock again, then maybe he could stop time. Maybe he could still be in a five-minute loop with Joshua and all the pain would go away. Maybe if he was able to stop time, things would’ve turned out differently. But time doesn’t stop, unfortunately.
Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.
Two minutes. Jeonghan takes a peek at Joshua who was busily scrolling through his phone. Joshua hated that. He hated it when people would scroll through their phones when they had company.
“God, look at that couple over there! They aren’t even fucking talking? They're just scrolling through their phones beside each other!” Joshua scoffs, taking a bite of his baguette.
“Baby, maybe they have nothing to talk about anymore? Ever think of that?” Jeonghan laughs, removing the crumbs under Joshua’s chin.
“Bullshit. Social media has taken over everybody’s lives. I’m seriwous, not even kiddingf.” Joshua responds, mouth stuffed with his baguette.
Jeonghan gives him an amused look. “I don’t know, Shuji. Maybe a couple can still co-exist beside each other whilst on their phones. Still in love, even when they aren’t talking.”
“Nah, I think when you’re with someone, you should talk. The beauty of being with a friend, a lover, a relative, whoever the fuck you’re with, there should be a conversation there. In-person! How could you have a proper conversation with someone if you’re on your phone? Isn’t social media made for long distances? God, people should just talk to each other. What’s the point? Seriously?.” Joshua rants.
Jeonghan continues to stare at Joshua who was completely glued to his phone. He sighs, sitting up.
“Talk to me,” Jeonghan utters, nervously biting on his lower lip.
“What?” Joshua responds, eyebrows furrowed. He locks his phone.
“You hate it when people are on their phones when they’re two feet away from each other.”
Joshua lets out a cold laugh. “We’ve already talked. We talked the whole afternoon. We talked, fought, and cried non-stop this whole day. I’m fucking tired.”
“What do you want me to do?” Jeonghan asks, a lot more desperate now.
“I want you to go,” Joshua responds back instantly, his eyes now meeting Jeonghan’s. “Like right now. I have a ton of papers to finish, Jeonghan. Please.”
If Jeonghan heard these words two years from Joshua, he would’ve asked if he could help. He would have forcibly stayed. Jeonghan would ask Joshua to go to bed and tell him he would work on those papers instead. He would make Joshua a big breakfast in the morning with a strawberry shortcake for dessert, just how he liked it.
“Five more minutes,” Jeonghan pleads. “Last one. I promise.”
Joshua blinks, not uttering a word. He sighs, going back on his phone. Jeonghan tries to grab his attention by shifting in his seat whilst staring at him. Of course, Joshua doesn’t budge, still scrolling on his phone.
Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.
That fucking clock. Jeonghan returns to his previous position on the couch, eyes shut once again. The only audible noise you could hear is the clock. Ticking. It keeps ticking. Per second. Tick. Jeonghan lets a tear fall. It was all he could do. Tick. Tomorrow, he will wake up in his own bed. Alone. The universe is unfair. In his mind, Jeonghan was figuring out how to stop time. Maybe, in another universe time doesn’t exist. Maybe in another life, minutes go by hours. Maybe, if he lies and says he doesn’t think the five minutes are over, maybe, just maybe, Joshua would believe him. If Jeonghan took five more minutes of his time to reflect on how Joshua was doing in the relationship, maybe he would have seen it sooner.
Those five more minutes could have saved their relationship. He needed five more minutes to tell him everything he wanted to say. Five more minutes to tell him that the world is cruel, but with you, I can concur it. Five more minutes to tell Joshua that if he could take all the burden away from him, he would, in a second, in a heartbeat. Five more minutes to tell him, they could do this, they could give it one more chance. But, he didn’t use his five minutes to say all of these things. In his heart, Jeonghan knew that this was over. They were over. Joshua shouldn’t have a hard time. Joshua deserves to be happy. He couldn’t give that to him anymore. Joshua is tired, and so is Jeonghan.
Tick.
“Five minutes,” Jeonghan says, composing himself.
“Jeonghan, I sai-”
“No, the five minutes are over,” Jeonghan responds with a small smile.
“Oh.” Joshua gulps. “You should go now.”
Jeonghan nods. His eyes follow Joshua who leads him towards the door. He remembers the first time he entered Joshua’s apartment. It was nice. They had a glass of wine together and watched Modern Family all night long.
“Take care of yourself, Jeonghan.” Joshua forcibly lets out a smile.
“Shouldn’t I be saying that to you?” Jeonghan teases, earning him a small laugh from Joshua.
“Next time, don’t tell other people you’d burn the world for them. They might fall for your charms and get stuck with you for three years.” Joshua teases back, gripping his hand on the door.
“Don’t worry. That line is reserved for you.” Jeonghan lightly chuckles.
“I know it is, Hannie.” Joshua stutters, eyes watering.
Jeonghan glances at him, a warmth of relief filling his insides.
“Five more minutes?” Jeonghan jokes. Joshua laughs, a single tear falling from his left eye.
“Jeonghan..”
“You should really get your clock fixed. It’s really fucking loud.” Jeonghan states.
“I should. Maybe it would stop time.” Joshua responds, just as Jeonghan thought he would say.
“Take care, Shuji.” Jeonghan smiles. Joshua gives him a tiny wave before slowly closing the door.
Jeonghan sighs, walking towards the elevator. He wipes the remaining tears from his eyes and ruffles his hair back in place. Suddenly, he hears a loud bang coming from Joshua’s unit. He smiles to himself. The clock. Joshua broke it.