Chapter Text
Out of nowhere, we appeared in an unknown space, the area looked to be about 6-acres, half of it being forest
‘Seriously? If this is the work of those stupid twin self-proclaimed gods, I am going to call their dad on them” I thought, immediately recognizing the situation, it was pretty common for Shiro and Shironto, the twin ‘gods’ of Shironix, to do random things to satisfy their own amusement… like this.
I noticed that among our group, our quote on quote ‘enemies’ were also here, the king of Katolis, the dragon queen and prince, the human mage who ima call puppy boi, the two Moonshadow elven assassins, the Sunfire elf queen, her prick of a brother, Viren’s son, the deaf general, and her Ginger friend. Yup, this is most definitely the work of Lady Shiro and Lord Shironto.
In an almost cliche sort of Manner, the moment both parties realized the situation and saw each other they rose to their feet, and went rushing towards the space separating the two parties to try and start a fight. I sighed walking to the middle before they could reach one another, chuckling when I saw Araavos hanging around in the back, watching the stupidity unfold.
I redirected my attention to the matter at hand, and created a transparent wall from my barrier magic in a magenta colored burst, which gave off a slight pushback to ensure no one would slam into the wall, then it then disappeared.
once I got a good look at everyone’s hilariously confused faces, I decided that it’s time to put my king pants on and act responsible for once
“Look I know we’re enemies but can we at least try to be civilized and not run at each other like a bunch of drunk barbarians?” I sighed exasperatingly, pointedly making sure to make my face show a look of disgust. Everyone was still looking confused at me.
“Whose side are you on… and what even are you?!” Viren’s son, Soren shouted. I had heard a ton about him, so I know how short-tempered the little shit could be.
“Ah, Soren I’ve heard so much about you whilst traveling with Viren, and to answer your questions I’m on the side to deliver a justice long overdue… secondly, what I am doesn’t matter at the moment”, I paused “but neither of those trivial things are of any importance right now because we are not in Xadia, so I suggest we forget about being enemies until we get out of here”
“Who are you?” The dragon queen growled.
Unaffected, I responded in a childishly irritating tone
“Now I was going to tell you but” I dragged out the u, “You were kinda rude so I ain’t tellin ya, but what I will say is that I’m from a place much better than the shitty Xadia you rule over, no offense to you guys of course,” I said, directing my attention to those around at the end.
“None taken, it is, a bit of a hole” Aaravos smirked, his tone edging on amusement.
“Now if everyone had a good look around like I already have you would know that over there is a house, pre-labeled with whom we have to room, the rooms are divided mostly by people and their paramour so if you have a partner that is present go stand with them now.” As I gave directions.
to my surprise the others actually listened, I half expected them to argue… but most people did in fact move to stand together, Viren and Aaravos towards me, Terry and Claudia, the General and the Sunfire queen. And lastly, Puppy Boi and Elf Chick.
Once they were paired I noticed a few odd looks being thrown our way and the Soren kid looked mortified, Claudia seemed to notice this because she was visibly taking great lengths to restrain herself from doubling over in laughter.
Viren, seeing this smirked smugly, and pointedly wrapped a hand around Aaravos’s waist who leaned into the touch, wrapping his arm around Viren’s shoulders, earning a horrified gasp from Soren, I internally rolled my eyes, chuckling, and addressed those who remained.
“Before I continue, I would like to extend my thanks for cooperating, now for those of you who remain, I think three of you won’t necessarily enjoy your roommate, so I apologize in advance, I just read the names on the rooms.” I paused, giving them a moment to adjust. “The young king, the dragon prince, and Soren.”
Again, I paused allowing them to move “Ms Dragon queen, you seem to have gotten the longest star because you have a room to yourself” the dragoness smirked,
“as I should”. I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at the melodramatic dragon. I turned to the three remaining who all at the same time sighed dramatically.
“Oh come on, it’s not that bad”, “Do you really expect me to sleep in the same room as a human?” the sunfire Elf said, his nose wrinkling in disgust.
“Yep,” I said, popping the p, “Unless of course you would like to share quarters with the Dragon Queen Zubeia, I’m sure she wouldn’t mind sharing a meal with you… Once”
“Certainly my dear prince I am sure I would you delicious” she grinned, licking her lips
“My dear prince, for a moment there I thought you were a Frost elf … so what will it be, the bachelor pad, or our illustrious queen’s boudoir”
“Please say boudoir, I haven’t had an Elf in ages~”
The prick, still looking quite pale, nodded shakily
“Alright then the Bachelor pad it is, now do try not to be a racist bitch while you’re at it, I’m sure our friend would appreciate it if you behave” I said, doing my best jiminy glick voice.
At this, Claudia and Soren both doubled over laughing, and the Elf chick along with the sunfire queen was having trouble holding their laughter in.
“Although for a second, I am sure I saw the queen looking a little disappointed although I’m sure it was just my imagination… Now, you two need to change into your dragon-kin forms”, I said pointing at the dragons.
“It doesn’t look like the house is bigger on the inside, except for perhaps the bathrooms” I said, humming thoughtfully
“W-wait, have you been here before?” Soren shouted, a look of confusion on his face
“Oh- hm, no I haven’t i just see… everything… are those hearts?”
“Wha- what?”
“Oh my mistake, the bed sheets in my room are clearly a Tyrian purple
I paused, before looking back at the two… former? dragons who were now in their dragon-kin forms, the boy appeared to be a 9-year-old-boy with white, slightly spiky hair, light blue skin, elf ears, horns, a dragon tail, and wings. The Dragon queen had changed into a beautiful, tall blue-skinned, white-haired woman with similar features as her son.
“Thank you for the cooperation, now judging by the sky,” which was growing darker, “I think we should turn in for the night. If you need to clean yourselves- actually no, how about we go clean ourselves in the indoor spa/bathroom,” I said, looking at the house entry expectantly.
I turned back to the crowd confused about why no one was following me “what?” I asked, making sure to show the confusion on my face.
“Uh… Gendry dear, I think everyone thought you were implying we bathe together” Aaravos helpfully supplied sheepishly. My eyes widened as the reality of the situation hit
“No, no, no, no, no, sorry I forgot to mention that the bathrooms are separated, there’s one for girls, and one for boys and secondly the bathroom is made to be like a resort, there are different kinds of baths to choose from, saunas, different kinds of therapeutic tubs to workout sore muscles, and several other kinds of things, the actual toilets are in a separate area” the was a massive sigh of relief that washed over the crowd.
“Yeah, don’t worry, I wasn’t suggesting anything weird” I smiled, teeth showing.
“Uhm, sir how do you know so much about these special bathrooms?” King Ezran asked politely.
“Oh, well that’s because my kingdom's main tourist attractions are our many Hot Springs. All run and operated by the crown, we consider them our national treasure” I stated in the most extravagant, kingly way I could manage
“wait… Gendry are you using the Royal we or the collective we” Viren asked, raising a brow
“Both.” I grinned, teeth fully bared, causing several people- save for Ara, Claud, Terry, and Viren to take a step back
“Your kingdom? Are you also a king” Ezran questioned. Oops oh well, I don’t really like lying...usually but the kid seems chill… I suppose the fun can wait
“Well, yes and no. I’m not the king yet- but I am the crowned prince, and am supposed to be having my coronation-” that very moment my glorious revelation was rudely interrupted by those. Two. Fools
two figures appeared in front of us. They were both Kitsune, one was female and the other was male.
“Oh for the love of-”
“Prince Gendry! How great it is to see you” the male hummed, stepping towards me. He wore an extravagantly detailed light purple kimono, with long white hair, with his bangs in front being a light caramel brown. I glared at the 9-tailed fox harshly.
“Fuck off you absolute waste of space. Take you and your homoerotic ass back to Faux city Immediately, specifically to the ‘I have no life half”’ I spat, bitterly losing my composure for the first time in quite a while
“Wow, such aggression, clack clack,” the woman hummed, tapping her claws together like crab claws then strutted over to me, and rested her hand on her hip. She looked just like the other but well… female.
“To think we were going to help you,” she said, picking at her nails absentmindedly.
“What do you mean, ‘ help?’ ” I asked with an air of caution. Knowing full well how completely brain dead stupid The twins could be, especially when it came to their version of ‘helping’ someone…
The twins directed their attention toward the crowd, “Listen up everyone, my name is Shiro and this is Shironto,” she said, gesturing toward Shironto, who waved.
“We will be helping you navigate the bathrooms, now you may be thinking who is this weird fox motherfucker and why would we need a helper with the bathrooms?” She paused looking to Shironto who then continued,
What the Fuck do they think they’re doing, playing up the twin telepathy bullshit like it’s the most non-cliche they’ve ever done, can’t these twins just fuck up already so I can call they’re dad on them, after all creating a universe like this only causing more work for him in the long run…
“Ignoring the first bit… you need us because there’s a specific way to go about this, which we will show you when everyone is ready to bathe, go ahead and settle into your rooms for now”
“One. Wrong. move. And. I. call. DADDY!” I growled
The two immediately turn bone white, and look much less fox like, and much more startled alley cat.
Shiro whispers “Oh Shit”, and the shironto goes “so that’s where the backbone came from… we’re so screwed” they both look at each other and promptly disappear
“Gendry… were those not the actual, boneified. deities, Lady Shiro and Lord Shironto The twin foxes of Shironix, present in their physical forms??!? To whom you just told off like little shits?! And who is DADDY?!” He screams, losing his usual air or elegance and composure
I winced, as the noticeable chill in the air, queuing me as to what was about to happen to my unfortunate friend. Oh dear, Aaravos, now you’ve done it…
“What?”
WHO DISTURBS MY SLUMBER
And overwhelmingly loud and powerful voice resonates inside my skull, and, obviously inside the school of everyone else present at the same time a huge, dark aura of menacing power slowly begins to form directly behind my poor buddies head, slowly, taking the absolutely unmistakable form of a huge black hat with a broom that seems to extend Horizon to horizon
Aaravos slowly falls to his knees, white as a sheet, and whimpers
“Wh-what did I just do?”
Thankfully the aura winks out instantly as a tall man dressed in black with red hair and beard, so out of it steps out of the shadow, and into full view, he looks surprisingly normal, except when you attempt to stare at the hat, which, when focused on directly looks just as evil and menacing as it did a moment before. I try not to look at it. Ever.
“nah, guys I was just messin’ with you.” The mysterious man says with a chuckle, but the man quietly growls “But I am ‘Daddy’, don’t wear it out… have fun now” he says with a wink, then promptly disappears in a cloud of black motes.
“Ok,” I said with a shiver, “I wasn’t expecting that. Aaravos dear,” I walked over to him, helping him back to his feet, “please do not invoke the dark one without a really, really good reason.” He simply nodded. Vigorously.
I breathed in, attempting to regain my composure.
I casually glanced around to see if anyone else was worse for wear, Viren just appeared to be happy we were still breathing, as he was attempting to comfort Aaravos.
The young king and dragon prince appeared to be awestruck, muttering things like “so cool,” and “Wow!” Okay, guess they’re alright, moving on.
The Queen, surprisingly back in a… much smaller ..dragon form. She still looked mostly like herself, but the size of a house cat.. and furry… come to think of it, she looked more like a cat than a dragon now. She also appeared to be CATatonic. Ha! Yes, pun intended. Just try and stop me!
As I looked around to the others, most of them just seemed rather confused
I turned to the crowd of people, to address the situation formally. “Now I promise I’ll explain all this later, but before we go and try to relax, I’d like to know everyone's names since I know diddly squat about almost everyone here, so I'll start, My name and title in The crowned prince Elarion, Gendry von Gleeful Elaria, Archmage of Shironix, conqueror on nations, all that fancy crap” I said, waving my hand around...
“But I fucking hate formalities so please just call me Gendry” Everyone looked just a little more shell-shocked, as if they had completely forgotten the conversation, we were having before those stupid twins interrupted me.
Suddenly the Elf Chick spoke up
“So like him but not a king?” she gestured to the king of Katolis. “Yep! I’ve been the crown prince since I was 6, but less about me, we can get to know each other better later… Now I’ve been calling you Elf chick in my head, but surely you have a better name than that, perhaps Sexy Elf Chick” I then notice the mage boi Callum turning bright red, “but I expect to be disappointed.”
“Yeah, no. My name is Rayla,” she delivered with an icy glare and impressively frosty tone.
Then puppy boi Callum pipes up with an entirely too predictable “and you damn well better use it in your head too!”
At that moment, I almost wished I had eyes to roll them. “Ah, yes Prince Callum, the high mage of Katolis, I’m sure everyone has been sufficiently annoyed enough by you that no introduction is necessary” I delivered with a courtly flourish. To which I was met with murmurs of agreement, a few glares, and a masterfully masked chuckle from King Ezran.
‘Wow, that boy is growing into his role swimmingly’
“Relax, I don’t swing that way” I paused “usually” delivering a toothy side eyeless leer towards Sexy Elf Girl, yeah Callum ensured I wouldn’t change that, but maybe I’ll shorten it to… hm yeah, seggi. oh I better finish quickly before Ara and Viren make me sleep on the floor’
“Besides, Stars and silver foxes are way tastier than moons and their puppies” I paused long enough to earn a smirk from Viren and Aaravos.
I turned to the General and the Sunfire Elf queen
‘I’m 90% sure this lady hates me because of what Ara did to her sister, judging by the glare she’s shooting at me’
Dispelling that train of thought I nodded in acknowledgement looking over to the general. Who attempted to soften her face before signing,
“I am General Amaya and this,” she gestured towards the woman beside her “is my wife, Queen Janai of the sunfire elves, I will be sure to base my opinions of you on what I see, not what I hear” as she finished, Ginger Boy opened his mouth to translate but before he could speak, I responded, both signing and speaking for everyone's benefit,
“I warmly extend my greetings and felicitations, I wish to extend my welcome and respect to the Sunfire queen and her Lady consort general” I replied, smiling respectfully. Judging by their expressions I read the room right to do a 180 on her initial impression of me. Not to lose momentum I moved quickly on to the next Monarch.
“I apologize for speaking to your brother out of turn, King Ezran, and esteemed prince Azymondias, your humanoid form fits you to a T, good form.
When I attempted to take the customary dragon form I ended up looking more like a pig with wings” I chuckled with a swish of my tail. Where I was met with a hum of appreciation from the prince, and a mutter about my magical abilities coming somewhere behind me.
“Zym appreciates the formality but he’d rather you just call him Zym,” King Ezran replied with a smile.
I nodded in acknowledgment and smiled back. “Ah yes, King Ezran, well judging by what I… saw earlier you’ve been growing into your crown swimmingly” I chuckled.
“Well he is a rather large puppy” he smirked wryly.
‘This kid is fucking Awesome, ill come up with a cool nickname for him later.’ I thought in slight surprise, both of us erupted in hearty laughter.
I looked back to my future consorts to find Ara heavily leaning into Viren, trying not to fall with a face that was practically glowing lavender and white, every star visible seemed to be pulsing, Viren in question bless his soul, looked like he was going to have a heart attack. I turned back to Ezran,
“King Ezran, please remind me to invite you to my land when all of this has mellowed out” I smiled, extending my hand. To which he took.
“I’ll be sure to… perhaps a possible future alliance is in order” he smiled with a raised brow. ‘Oh, this kid is good’ I smiled to myself,
“Absolutely I’ll be looking forward to it” I grinned, retracting my hand, and bent down to pet Bait who purred? In appreciation, I stood up and turned to the little shit standing next to him who still looked mortified. “Sir, are you ok?” I asked knowingly, concealing a grin, the man replied in a weary voice,
“N-no,” he pointed to where Ara and Viren were- who were now sitting on the ground against a tree, with Aaravos leaning on Viren’s shoulder, in fact when I looked at the others, everyone whom I had already spoken to was sitting. I turned back to brat boi.
“What?,” I asked, not getting what was wrong. With the same expression as before he looked directly at my hair curtain, in a failed attempt to make eye contact,
“Are you two… and my dad…” he dragged on, seemingly unable to find the right words, “Yep, and now you gotta deal with it, cause soon enough, you may very well be addressing me as father, bye! Have fun with that thought!” I replied in a flamboyant but casual manner, swiftly walking away to my next victims, knowing full well that I just him more physiological damage than any ex girlfriend he will ever have
, As I walked, I heard two very familiar chirps of surprise from the previous conversation coming from behind me.
I concealed a smirk as I strode over to what I can only hope to be the most enjoyable trio to mess with, the Trio consisted of the pricky prince, horn twin, and ginger boy. “Why hello, how have the three of you been getting along so far?” I asked innocently, it was quite obvious that the two elves were not getting along with the ginger, and the pricky prince was still being an asshat. To my question, I received two groans of disgust and one exasperated sigh.
“Well… I’m sure you can tell how that’s going. I’m Gren, Commander in Katolis’s army. It is a pleasure to meet you, Prince Gendry” Ginger Grenny Grin said, extending his hand. ‘Yep, totally Ginger Grenny Grin although he could drop the formality, that’s pretty boring’, I took his hand, giving it a brief shake before retracting. “May I ask where you learned sign language, you surprised me”
With a growing smirk, I replied, “Ah, yes. You see, I know a great many languages, all part of my training to become a good king, as one who rules a large land must be able to communicate with his, any, and all people.”
“O-oh, I suppose a king would nee-” he abruptly stopped, with a horrified look on his face.
I was viewing the conversation from the normal 1st perspective and looking closer, I could see he was looking at... ‘Oh, oops he can see my eye stitches’
“Dont worry about it, don’t try to look too terrified Mr commander” I said in a hushed tone so that only the ginger could hear, “my eyes will be fully revealed later in time.” the ginger nodded and I resumed my regal bearing, turning “as I have heard of your time in the dungeons, I can only ask that you do not hold the same grudge against me, and judge me by my actions and not those of my consorts,” I delivered as courtly as ever and extended my hand, to which Grenny shook briefly before retracting.
“Yes, I’ll be sure to, speaking of… I’m gonna take my leave” and just like that he bounded over to where The General and her wife were sitting, like a lost dog returning to its owner.
I turned to face the Elves…who were glaring daggers at me, both of which looked like they wanted to throw real daggers at me.
“Calm down, there's no need for such hostility” I lectured, crossing my arms over my chest.
“Why are you taking the humans’ side?, they are but pests to us elves” the pricky prince sneered, shooting Viren a Side eyed glare.
“Thats where you’re wrong,” I growled, “ you are not above humans, in fact, with how you are acting, you are quite below the grime on my shoes” Pricky prince’s mouth hung open and the other while horn twin held back a laugh with a smirk.
“yeah, w-well your horn, didn’t a human do that to you” he stuttered, in an attempt to make a point which miserably failed,
“Maybe they were, maybe they weren't, I had… trouble seeing at the time. But whether the person that did that to me was human or not would not change whether i'm going to throw a hissy fit over whether I have to sleep next to a human or not. Besides, hating humans wouldn't be in my best interest since the first queen of my bloodline was human…” I paused trying to remember history and shit,
“the royal bloodline didn't have elven blood in it until Queen Elaria married and had children with the first generation of Dark Elves” I said, waving him off, practically reciting a history lesson to him.
The bit about Elaria, Elarion and Dark elves seemed to catch them off guard
‘Did they really just now notice me talking about Elarion? Wow, these people really are complete idiots’
“Look, i'll give everyone a history lesson on Elarion later, but for now, can we get introductions over with so we can go bathe, i am in desperate need of a Lavender scented whirlpool bath-steam-shower-salt-sauna- with its own minifridge, Tv, and surround sound speakers” i ranted, swishing my tail in irritation and pinning my long ears down. I heard a chuckle from behind me,
“Of course Gendry, I must say that I am quite irritated that you haven't told me about your kingdom’s history yet given my history, but you are clearly in need of a bath” Aaravos glared halfheartedly, giving me one of his signature smirks at the end, leaning on Viren’s shoulder, who in turn seemed to share my exhaustion.
I chuckled, “well I see I’m not the only one beginning to succumb to Exhaustion… now I believe you, your highness are all that remains for me to greet” I smiled, trying not to let my distaste for the dragoness show, after all I was still trying to be civil here, can't let my very deserved hatred begin to seep through.
“It seems so, now go on I want to see if those baths you speak so highly of are actually as grand as you make them out to be” the dragon huffed, still glaring coldly
“I am sure you will find the baths to be quite grand, now I see introductions are quite useless so I do believe we should make our way to the house”
“Indeed”
With that, everyone started towards the house, as we reached the door, I grimaced, as I saw two figures with fluffy tails, standing. Directly. Behind. The. TwinsDammed. Door. “Figures”