Work Text:
Addendum: It is recommended that this document should be disposed of upon being read at the earliest possible convenience. If not, it will only become a matter of when, not if Lady Hinanawi recovers the text, and we simply cannot afford to let that happen; again, that is. You have been warned.
The Perfect Tiramisu!
What I'll need:
Two cups (450 grams) of 'mascarpone'. I haven't a clue what this is, but Iku tells me that's similar to that delectable 'cream cheese' substance used by those peons of the clay, so it may very well be worth looking into, if only for purely scholary purposes.
A half cup (100 grams) of powdered sugar. Unoriginal and in equal parts uninspiring. Unfortunately, peaches alone cannot add enough sweetness to satisfy a celestial palate. Speaking of...
Exactly (no more, no less!) (3) peaches, sliced and diced into small chunks. Obviously only heavenly peaches of the highest grade, picked from the willowed branches of orchard trees, rooted in dark, fertile soil of the Great Garden shall suffice.
24 longish biscuits. Yet another product of the outside world. I believe Iku said these things were called 'ladyfingers'? How crude of a name.
The Process:
Step 1: Combine the mascarpone and powdered sugar.
Step 2: If there is any residue left from the sliced peaches, then dip the ladyfingers into the juice.
Step 3: Arrange the ladyfingers next to each other in a rectangular dish.
Step 4: Place some peach pieces on top of the ladyfingers. Spread some of the mascarpone over the peaches, and then arrange yet more peaches on top of that.
Step 5: Repeat the process with a layer of ladyfingers, a layer of peaches, mascarpone, and top at the end with remaining peaches.
Step 6: Cover with something, preferably cloth, and place inside a chilled area to let cool for some hours.
Step 7: Once set, take out and cut into slices. Serve whilst still cooled.
Personal Note: There we go! Six perfectly made servings of delicious tiramisu, made with the intricate skill and knowledge expected from a celestial being such as I. Now, onto finding those peaches...
Personal Personal Note: Lady Hinanawi, I strongly suggest reconsider your course of action. My superiors will only accept so many excuses, and would not look kindly on me having to defend you in front of the magistrate again.
Personal-er Note: Here's something for you to consider, Iku- stop reading my notes!
Personal Person PPPPN: Eldest Daughter, please let us not argue on this...
Further Addendum: It should be noted that there existed a fifth 'Personal Note' authored by Lady Hinanawi, consisting of a crude caricature of Lady Nagae drawn cross-eyed and with what has concluded by peer review to be 'stink-lines' emanating from her person. Right next to it also exists a smaller drawing, likely based on Lady Hinanawi herself, drawn with her tongue sticking out at Doodle-Lady Nagisa. It has been deemed unfit to be included in this report, so thus, any past iterations of the same document must be retroactively expunged of any of the pertaining information
Tenshi was bored.
Which wasn't much of a surprise, considering that most other celestials also suffer from some form of boredom. It came naturally with the status of being one, and from possessing a lifespan so long, so large on a cosmological scale, that she and her erstwhile peers were effectively immortal.
Normally, when she was blaséd out of her mind again, it generally resolved itself by way of her ending up beaten, battered, or humiliated in one way or another by the end of the day. To your average unlearned layperson, this may seem antithetical, but this is far from the case. She did not enjoy being defeated, per se; her honour and pride would never allow her to find pleasure in humiliation, but it is rather the process undertaken to get there in the first place that excites her so very much.
The rush of adrenaline, those hightened senses and jumbled nerves providing a rush that simply couldn't compare. To her, the completely random, chaotic, and unpredictable nature of things outside of Heaven only served to spice up the variety of life down there. And although Tenshi admits she would never abandon the safety, security, and servants at her disposal back home, it was still perhaps a somewhat compelling notion that she could live out the remainder of her long (very long!) days in Gensokyo.
For in Heaven, everything is pristine and perfect and clinical; a utopia, a true paradise in every sense of the word. This suited Tenshi and all of her compatriots just fine, sitting in their lofty sky kingdom, looking down and sneering at those resigned to a life of wallowing in muck and dirt and all the impurities that permeated everything beneath them, just as it ought to be.
However, this left her with quite the conundrum to solve. How is a superior lifeform, devoid of any imperfections and the apex of ascension and evolution, meant to enjoy herself in such an insufferably sterile environment?
Oh, and no more flattening shrines with earthquakes, she'd already learnt her lesson with that one.
Don't get her wrong, she loves living in Heaven; aside from being, you know, literal heaven, it's her home too. There was just one problem, and that was that the word 'home' was regrettably synonymous with the world 'family', and though one is free to choose and abandon friends at will, very rarely can the same be said for family. It also just so happens that her family would much rather prefer to see Tenshi wasting her days away, interacting and socialising with dreadfully dull courtesans and members of the nobility.
Wait, was that the right word for them? Eh, anyways...
Her family even stooped so low as to scope out suitors for her! No doubt trying to see if they can once and for all firmly anchor her to Celestial society, by way of marrying her off to some vapid nobleman. The gall of them for even considering such a course of action!
It simply wouldn't— no, couldn't do for her! She was a free soul, unbound and unchained by any vain notion of 'humility' or 'common sense'. The intrinsic desire to defy and subvert defined her entire life, and though both celestial and serf alike may detest Tenshi for her unusual mannerisms, she cared little for their chidings. It wasn't as if she ever held their opinion in fairly high regard in the first place, anyway.
Her clothing was one. Those silver-tongued noblewomen can dress in as many flowing silk robes as they want— she'll be sticking to her signature blouse and apron, fashioned from only the finest silk, as is par for the course in Heaven. Her hat, too, is a mark of immense pride for Tenshi, separating her from the only other mark branding her contemporaries as celestials— an elaborate hairdo with a pair of chopsticks holding the entire thing together. Perhaps that wicked Taoist hermit woman would have something to say about that, but she digresses.
To further her two degrees of separation from her ostensibly equal peers, a different class of company would most certainly need to be kept. So who better else, as loath as she was to admit it, than someone from underneath her? It couldn't just be anything, oh no; they had to be powerful, but not too powerful, they needed to be the kind who'd be glad to follow, not lead, most importantly, it was best for them to be quiet and unassuming— the perfect tsukkomi to her self-proclaimed boke status, the perfect straight man to her funny man routine.
Because disapproving family members was something that she could shrug off easily enough; after all, she had an eternity to make amends, so why start worrying now? The one thing, however, the one hurdle standing in her way, wagging her fingers in disappointment at Tenshi's "relationship with 'undesirable' company", was Iku. She could quite easily convince her guardian angel (heh) to overlook her myriad escapades and hijinks - in fact, she's done just that many, many times.
But, bemusingly enough, Tenshi's interactions with 'unwelcome' elements are what Iku chooses to get caught up on. Not her perceived eccentricity, nor her penchant for violence to pass the time. No, hanging out with those she deems satisfactory enough to bathe in her presence is what the Beautiful Scarlet Cloth finds truly reprehensible.
Unfortunately, Iku's is the one opinion that Tenshi simply cannot ignore. Not because of her superior strength or standing, but rather because, in an admittedly begrudging manner, she respects and, indeed, somewhat venerates the person she has come to see as a mother figure.
Though, one cannot subsist on their mother's milk for too long, and must eventually, inevitably, prove to both themselves and others that they can ween off of it. And if that means going directly against her glorified nanny's opinion, advice, and warnings, then so be it. This, of course, brings Tenshi to the topic at hand: she has a positively terrific recipe for an outside-world delicacy dubbed 'tiramisu', and by her, was she going to make it.
However, as with most things, it could've been improved with some peaches. Peaches on hats, plastered on clothing, as an ingredient in foreign delicacies— the opportunities are endless. But not only are heavenly peaches of high-enough quality to sate her tastes, said peaches were also secured and contained in perhaps the most elaborate and invulnerable safe to ever be forged by perfect celestial hands.
Tenshi couldn't have possibly imagined what drove the all-knowing higher-ups to build what amounted to a bank in Heaven, but you won't hear her complaining, not if she wants this plan to still go through.
And that's where you come in, Yorigami.
Shion wasn't a very good listener; in fact, she wasn't a very good anything. But she always tried her best when it came to Lady Celestial, even if Shion also wasn't the greatest conversationalist, and Tenshi tended to digress frequently.
Whatever the case, it was always a joy to listen to her speak so freely of her plights, of how she considered Shion, of all people, to be counted as agreeable company. She couldn't help but flush at Lady Celestial's indirect compliments towards her, although she never really saw herself as much of a 'straight man', as the Lady so thoughtfully described her as. Shion wouldn't disagree with the assessment, of course, just a humble observation.
Were they friends, then? No, Lady Celestial was accepting, sure, but even she carried with her the arrogance and haughtiness expected from any celestial being, though her more unsavoury tendencies were dulled when in Shion's presence. How interesting.
Well, no, not all that interesting. But Shion liked to think that it was, to think that their relationship was something more than what could just be described as a comedy routine. To imagine a life spent by Lady Celestial's side, meandering about and listening to her excited ramblings, that'd be the life for her...
"—You come in, Yorigami."
Shion jolted awake from her trance, having only caught the last few words that Tenshi had said.
"Pwah, hah- wha?"
Tenshi turned to the groggy girl hovering just above the ground next to her, hands balled up and fidgeting as if they'd been doing so for a while, despite the person they're attached to having only just woken up.
"I said, that's where you come in, Shion."
"Oh, uh, right! Yeah, haha..."
Her eyes narrowed, clearly not convinced. Shion hated that expression from her; it always seemed as if their stunning ruby shine dimmed ever so slightly with that sort of face.
"Hmph. Well, you should be thankful that you didn't miss too much of what I said," Tenshi flipped her hair over her shoulders, her locks defying physics just to conform back to her original hairstyle. "I'll overlook this small transgression, just so long as you prove that you can actually pay attention."
Shion's face lit up, fumbling about in mid-air to try and pose herself in a dogeza. It didn't work out as she wanted it to do; apparently, trying to prostrate yourself whilst floating isn't exactly an easy thing to do.
She barely managed to centre herself and managed not to faceplant directly onto the dirt path beneath them. Considering her rather poor track record when it came to luck a slip-up like this might as well be thought of as a 'lucky' break. Was it embarrassing? Well, to anyone else, maybe, but to Shion, it was little more than a depressingly common occurrence.
Tenshi snickered as she moved to help Shion regain her composure. "Heh, you know, you probably would've caught a mouthful of dirt if it weren't for my aura of good fortune."
"He- yeah... you're right, Lady Celestial." Shion patted down her bare legs to brush off some residue dirt that had cottoned on.
This caught Tenshi's eyes, and she turned from fixing her hairbow to also helping brush off some dirt from Shion's tattered dress.
"Just stay close to me, and you'll be just fine, you hear?"
Shion did hear, in fact, she heard perfectly fine, unlike last time.
So why was it that she couldn't say anything back to her? The phrase itself was harmless, but the implications behind those words... it was simply too overt of a statement to ignore. Surely, Lady Celestial didn't mean what Shion's fever-pitched mind was hoping she was suggesting. Surely, this was just the unexpected by-product of a slip of the tongue; nothing meant, nothing lost.
But it would also mean that nothing stood to be gained.
She had some small part of that hope— which part and of which hope, she did not know- sparked into a small flame when Tenshi, also probably realising the gravity of her words, had her face flush in a great brilliant crimson colour, not too dissimilar to the hue of her eyes.
"I-I mean, within reason, of course! My, do I really have to spell it out for you?"
There was no doubt in Shion's mind that her face likely reflected the flushed status of Tenshi's face, and thus she certainly was in no position to be making fun of her wounded pride. But she just couldn't help but snicker silently to herself over her drastic change in demeanour. It wasn't often that she saw the Lady all flustered, so she might as well savour it while still can.
"Anyway," her avoidance of eye contact would've suggested irritation, but if it were truly so, then she would've just flown away, not even bothering to deal with the situation. "I've got a plan."
Shion perked up. "I'm listening." How could she not?
"This is a good one." Tenshi regained her familiar style of smug overconfidence, the type that suggested she was cooking up an idea in that ever-elusive mind of hers.
It might very well turn out to be completely inane and devoid of sound reasoning, or perhaps it might just be the most ingenious plan that Shion's heard from her yet. There was no way of knowing, except just going along with her flow.
Ordinarily, such a character Shion would have never thought about interacting with; but unlike so many others whom she came to or still regards as an associate or, dare say, a friend, Tenshi accepted her.
And not that type of 'I tolerate you' sort of acceptance, either. Instead, it was the sort that you have for someone because you truly do like them for who they are, not just from superficial charms or a relationship born of circumstance. There was never a distinction such as 'tacit tolerance' or 'best buds' or 'hated enemy' when it came to Tenshi; either she favoured you, or she wouldn't hesitate to make your day a living hell just for her own personal amusement.
For her, Shion lay in the former camp, and boy, was she glad that she did. Because Tenshi wasn't the type to make friends and associates 'despite their differences', nor did she hang out with Shion out of a perverse sense of pity.
No, she did so because, for reasons that Shion may never be able to completely understand, Tenshi appreciated every aspect of her. When others would shun and spurn Shion for her tendency to spread misfortune wherever she set foot, Tenshi would instead find her curse— no, 'ability' she'd call it- fascinating, and proclaim herself as guardian and protector to shield Shion from those who might do her harm.
She might not show it— oh hell, she rarely did show it in fact- but it was there all the same, just simmering beneath her no-so-thin veneer of a self-centred, spoilt rotten girl.
And for that fact alone, Shion loved every second spent with her. So whenever Tenshi told her to jump, her response was never 'Why?', but rather 'How high?'.
"Something wrong?"
Tenshi had shoved her face right up against Shion's, an inquisitive look plastered over her face. The licentious manner in which she did it paralyzed Shion, temporarily dazed at the casualness and ease with which Tenshi had invaded her personal space.
Shion, in lieu of a response to Tenshi, began babbling like a fool, unable to form a coherent response.
"Aba-bahba! U-Uhm, uhh‽"
Another time, perhaps.
Ok, so the plan fitted the former description. Great.
Ah well, you couldn't win them all— and especially not with someone like Tenshi.
Apparently, they were to march directly up towards reception, demanding that they be given immediate and exhaustive access to Heaven's most tightly guarded and secure stash of commodities. Alas, it actually wasn't the craziest plot Shion's heard Tenshi concoct before. At the very least, they still have access to their weapons and abilities should all go awry, very much unlike that one time Tenshi insisted on sparring with Reimu, barehanded.
The Hakurei miko may have looked lanky and emaciated on the surface, but it would seem as if a few months of tutelage under the famed One-Armed Hermit did its due diligence in completely subverting Tenshi's expectations. Even with her immense luck, she still ended up on the ground, folded up like an onigiri when all was said and done.
To be completely honest, Shion had little hope that this plan would go through in any way that Tenshi might envision it to go. When their entire game plan boiled down to a 'glorified confidence trick", didn't fill Shion with, ironically enough, all that much confidence.
She frowned at the prospect of having to shelter Tenshi for a while should their plan (inevitably) fall through. Not that she didn't want Tenshi to live with her, simply that she didn't think that an impossibly higher-class being should have to endure living in the squalor of her hobble. Also, she didn't Jo'on would take very kindly to her second least favourite person crashing at their place, again.
"—Then I'll get into an awe-striking pose, draw my Sword of Hisou," Tenshi got into what can only be described as a combat pose, legs firmly outstretched and apart from each other, and drew her signature burning blade from its scabbard.
"And shout 'SUBMIT, LOWLY PEONS!' at the top of my lungs."
Tenshi relaxed back into a neutral position and gave what could only be described as a physical manifestation of the feeling of one's chest swelling with pride.
"Well? What do you think?" Tenshi's eyes, previously closed, shot open as she made a gesture for silence, placing her fingers on Shion's lips.
"Wait, don't tell me. It's perfect, right? As ought to be expected from a Celestial like myself."
She accentuated her previous statement with a haughty 'Hmph!' which, though it was the most arrogant expression Shion has ever seen from her given the context, still managed to send a small part of her heart aflutter. But, she still had an obligation to fulfil— convincing Tenshi otherwise about her overly complicated, near-suicidal plan to get kicked out of Heaven.
Aside from the obvious, who knew what could go wrong with the plan? Perhaps this whole thing was a sting operation, with Tenshi completely unaware of the trap she was blindly walking into. Or maybe her misfortune would muck everything up yet again like it's always done before. There were just too many variables, too many possibilities, and not nearly enough prior thought and planning put into it.
Shion gave her best attempt at an obviously forced smile, her face twisting into a macabre sort-of grin. To even the most socially inept layman, her look would have immediately communicated tacit disapproval towards whatever they were on about.
"Of course, Lady Celestial. Impeccable thinking."
Unfortunately, Shion was dealing with Tenshi, and all the implications that statement carried with it.
"Perfect! Then let us make haste."
Shion wanted to shoot a tired glare at her as if to highlight her objection once again, but watching Tenshi stare at her with seemingly boundless optimism within her eyes- she just couldn't do it. Or perhaps it was because she hadn't the energy to argue back anymore, either excuse would do for her at this point.
Noticing Shion's reluctance, Tenshi stopped in her tracks and started walking backwards.
"Come on, Yorigami! My plans await nobody!" she held out her hand, with a stunning grin a mile wide, beckoning Shion.
She stared at it tentatively, not quite sure whether she should grasp it with all her might, pledging to never let go.
Or instead reluctantly decline the offer out of fear, as she's always done before.
Eventually, she'll have to answer her, Shion knew that much.
But for now, gently cupping her hand with Tenshi's, letting the free-spirited celestial drag her along towards a many more adventures to come, would do. Now, Shion will just have to survive whatever she has in store for them both of them next.
Easier said than done, of course.
It went well enough at first— though Iku probably would've had a different, dissenting opinion.
But bah, who truly cares enough about dissentience amongst family to be considering it while amid a life-or-death situation?
Actually, now that Tenshi thought about it, she probably should have cared about it; a lot more than she currently does. If she had, then she probably wouldn't be in said life-or-death situation right about now.
But simultaneously, where would the excitement, and the joys in life be, without a slight chance for a spontaneous match of blood sports to begin at random? Granted, it wouldn't be so much a 'blood sport' as it would be, in fact, a high-speed and adrenaline-pumping chase by celestial authorities, but hey— it's the thought that counts.
The plan was working as perfectly as herself— in the beginning, that is. Shion did her part in making a big scene about being poor and (quite literally) an unfortunate individual down on her luck. Of course, she would get no sympathy from the sycophants inhabiting Heaven, but that wasn't the point.
The real money-maker was Tenshi, with her Sword of Hisou, carving a hole into the vault with her mighty blade whilst the guards were distracted trying to drag Shion out of the bank
To be fair, it was a far better game plan than Tenshi's original idea of charging into the front foyer head first, waving their weapons and danmaku around trying to intimidate everyone into staying quiet. Though, evidently, there still weren't nearly enough safeguards and fallbacks for it to actually succeed.
It would seem as if neither of them were brilliant planners, as much as it hurt Tenshi to admit it.
"Lady Celestial, what do we do— ah!" Shion was frantically dodging swipes made at her by a particularly ferocious guard, clumsily swinging their blade around like some inept brute.
This confused Tenshi. Not because Shion was acting like, admittedly, a coward here, but rather that she wasn't even bothering to fight back. Even she would be able to trounce the plebeian guard she was being assailed by, despite their status as a celestial.
Perhaps her aura of misfortune was negatively affecting her ability to fight? Whatever the case, Tenshi knew that Shion wouldn't be able to hold forever; already, she was starting to tire out and was beginning to run dangerously low on space to maneuver in.
"Tch, how uncouth."
Grumbling, Tenshi waddled out of the heap of knocked-out guards that had piled up underneath her boots and charged at Shion's assailant, stepping over no small amount of bodies. Some made a low droning moan as she trampled on their heads, others a small shrill yelp, most of them were drowned out by all the excitement going on, however.
This was it, the moment she had been waiting for. The surge of adrenaline in her veins, the thrill of combat— it all came rushing back with a vengeance. Beat up first, ask questions later, that was her policy; and for the scumbag who was currently taking pleasure in trying to slice up the only person she's been able to call her 'friend' for a long while, there'd be scant mercy spared for them.
The barbarian in the shape of a celestial being, daring to defile the good name of her kind, drew their attention away from trying to chop up Shion, and moved to parry Tenshi's oncoming blow.
"Ah, cra—"
Too late. Or rather, wrong decision, as they were launched backwards with a tremendous, violent force, directly into a nearby wall.
Tenshi stood rigidly with her right arm outstretched, having manipulated a chunk of the pristine marble floor, ripping it out from its superstructure and firing it at the now unconscious guard.
Was this how they trained guards nowadays? Not even bothering to provide the tutelage necessary to instil within their employees' basic situation awareness. No wonder Heaven was going downhill, considering how they're starting to cut corners on areas as vital as security.
Tenshi turned her nose up in disgust while contemplating all of the above, leaving a very confused Shion to wonder just what the hell she was doing.
"U-um, Lady Celestial?"
Breaking out of her trance, Tenshi turned towards Shion, still sprawled out on the floor just like in one of those dreadful 'kabuki' show— where the actress would lay on the stage with her legs bent sideways, leaving herself very much open to further attack. It was ridiculous, but Tenshi figured that it must've been the closest thing humans had that could reasonably pass for 'entertainment'— for them, at least.
There was one advantage to Shion being slumped on the floor like that, however, because she was positively adorable in the way her tattered rags fluttered in the wind, even in the unusual absence of any of the aforementioned wind. Her bare legs, covered in scratches and bruises, only served to reinforce her 'helpless maiden' allure. The escalation in her already inflated ego also helped, too.
She ran over, placing both of her hands on Shion's shoulders.
'Shion! You're not hurt, are you?"
Shion's previously confused expression morphed into one of shock at first, then into one of pure and simple embarrassment.
"Uh, haha, yeah! I'm fine, Lady Celestial..." Shion fidgeted with her hands, twiddling her fingers. She was obviously trying her damndest to avoid eye contact with Tenshi for whatever reason.
Tenshi was, in many ways, very much book-dumb— she'd admit to that.
But she wasn't oblivious.
"Evidently not! Feel free to voice to me your desires." Tenshi looked around, scanning the room for any eavesdroppers. When she was confident that all the potential ones had already fled, she piped up again. "I may be no Prince Shotoku, but I'm certainly the more powerful of us two!"
Seemingly performing the same preliminary scan of the foyer as Tenshi had done before, Shion let out a sigh once she was done, and began hanging her head low, staring at the floor.
"I'm so sorry, Tenshi."
Tenshi was momentarily fazed by the sudden switch in honorifics, but thought little more of it— she never was one for manners, anyways.
"What for? We got the peaches just fine, so I see little reason to apologise."
She did another scan of the main foyer, surveying the damage dealt to it in the midst of battle. Cracks permeated the supporting marble columns, with some already starting to visibly give way. Thankfully, they were for aesthetic reasons and served no real purpose thanks to the zero-g design of the building. Although, the same couldn't be said for the similar marble floors and walls, which had multiple chunks taken out of them, with empty space filling in the blanks.
"Ok, mayhaps it wasn't the cleanest execution possible." Tenshi scratched her neck, an embarrassed heat rising from the base of it.
"But hey, what are they going to do about this, huh? I'm of the Hinanawi Clan, after all! There's little they can do to me or you."
Tenshi lifted a hand to pat Shion on the head, who was currently still sulking whilst scrunched up à la fetal position. Noticing a warm touch enveloping the top of her head, Shion felt her entire jolt as a reaction and began emerging from her impromptu cocoon, looking up to see Tenshi sporting a warm, genuine smile, one unlike any of the other smiles she's ever seen from her.
In the meanwhile, Tenshi was mesmerized by the navy blue of her eyes, harbouring a deep sadness like they always do, distinctly unaware of what she would classify as a 'stupid grin' being plastered all over her face.
Neither spoke for a good while. Perhaps it was better this way.
But one inevitably broke the silence, that obviously being the boisterously loud Tenshi.
"Are you quite alright now?"
She might have changed her tone and demeanour, but Tenshi was still harbouring a massive grin on her face.
"Yeah, I'm alright." Shion's eyes were still glued to her face.
"Hmph, I wouldn't have expected anything less!"
"Of cour—"
A blinding light flashed before their eyes, while a thunderous explosion rocked the entire bank, as the walls caved in on the two of them.
BOOM!
Shion covered her ears and flinched away from a great, terrible sound; something awful must've happened she reasoned, and it was all her fault. For the most fleeting of moments, she saw Tenshi do so as well, no doubt reflexively. It was all the evidence she needed to point towards the horrifying obvious realisation— this was all real, and not a figment of her imagination like she so desperately wanted it to be.
Small pieces of rubble piled ontop of her. Not enough to completely cover her and shield her from view, but just enough to keep her locked in place and unable to move. There was dust and soot and ungodly thick smoke all round, making it impossible to breath in without some nasty particulates hitching a ride into her lungs. Shion heaved and coughed with every breath taken. She felt like she was suffocating, but not quite enough to slowly kill her.
It's all because of her damned misfortune again wasn't it? Gods! She knew that if she had just stayed out of this whole situation, stayed away from Tenko, boarded herself up in some dingy cabin out in middle-of-nowhere Gensokyo, then maybe this could've all been avoided—
"LADY HINANAWI, PLEASE STEP OUTSIDE AND APPROACH US WITH YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR!"
Police? Ah hell, now they're really going to get it. At least they're not looking for her, instead they were searching for Tenshi, who would realistically be given a slap on the wrist if anything, like they usually do if her anecdotes were anything to go off on.
But where did that leave her? Was she going to be relentlessly tortured by some cruel celestial officer, trying to extract from her some more information that she doesn't even possess? Or maybe she'll just be put down like some stray mutt, without so much as a second thought given to her corpse.
She wasn't particularly afraid of death— in fact, Shion doubted if she could even die at all- but if she could, she'd much rather prefer not having her lifeless cadaver seen by her Lady Celestial, and much rather just crawl away to and shuffle off this mortal coil in some dark, damp, decrepit corner somewhere.
Suddenly, she felt a hand firmly grip her shoulder.
"Don't worry, I've got this."
A familiar voice spat out with all the hubris and self-confidence expected of them, and with malice not directed at her, but which frazzled her nerves nonetheless. From anyone else, Shion would've never taken any sort of faith in their words.
But since it was Tenshi, she need only listen to every word she orders out, if only more than she usually does.
Nagae Iku stepped onto the pile of rubble that had accumulated at the foot of the hastily constructed entrance. Behind her followed a cadre of specialists, far more capable than the harmless security guards posted at this bank.
She balked at having to resort to such... coarse methods, but it was usually effective at convincing Eldest Daughter otherwise of her antics.
That was why Iku was surprised to see her ward standing up, hands very clearly not visible and grasping her Sword of Hisou, moving towards Iku and her team.
Her subordinates raised their weapons in response, ready to meet Tenshi's challenge head-on, but before they could do anything, Iku gestured at them to stand down. Seeing this, Tenshi edged closer and closer towards them, though deliberately not trying to ready her weapon.
"Halt! In the name of the la—"
"SHUT THE HELL UP!"
Her furious roar of defiance resounded, bouncing off of the walls to create a fierce echo that reverberated through the building in its wake.
"Just shut, the hell, up."
For the first time in a very, very long time, Iku was left speechless. Both at the steel pair that Tenshi had suddenly, inexplicably acquired and at her own apparent helplessness to do anything about it.
Blood trickled down her forehead, and her signature peach-attached black hat had been blown to the side, lying on the floor. Also on the floor was whom Iku assumed to be Tenshi's partner- Yorigami Shion. Blood had also formed thin lines down her forehead, and when she noticed Iku staring at her, she immediately turned away, seemingly embarrassed.
"What the HELL were you thinking? You could've gotten her seriously hurt!"
"Now, hold on there, Eldest Daughter, you—"
Iku paused momentarily.
"Wait, 'Her'?"
Tenshi continued starting spitefully at Iku. "Yeah, 'Her'."
"So, you aren't worried about yourself—"
Before she could finish, she was interrupted by Tenshi levelling the most hateful glare she had ever seen from her at Iku. It was completely devoid of any of the usual playfulness that was to be expected from her, instead almost seeming to yell out: 'I'm going to level this entire goddamn building onto our heads if you don't shut the hell up right this instant'.
Throughout this entire altercation, the team standing astutely behind Iku had remained remarkably calm, given the situation. Though even they were starting to crack, seeing their formidable leader speechless when confronted by the unusually fierce up-start noble girl.
"Just, leave. Now." she spat out, maintaining the glare from before, which was somehow even more intensified than the previous few seconds of staring.
A ridiculous request, from a bull-headed and impertinent spoilt brat. Ordinarily, Iku wouldn't even consider such a demand.
But seeing Tenshi with her legs standing apart from each other, stood tall in a protective pose in front of Shion, made Iku realise something. She wasn't sure what it was exactly, but she had a feeling that it was something at least somewhat beneficial, and her trying to stop it would simply be doing it a whole lot more harm than if just left alone.
With a heavy, reluctant sigh, Iku signalled for her team to disengage, returning to their starting positions outside.
As she walked away, Iku turned around to see Tenshi loosening up her stance, and turning around herself, kneeling on the floor.
"Heh, go and get her, tiger."
Seeing Iku and her people leave, Tenshi let out her own sigh of relief and turned around to face Shion, only to collapse onto her person in exhaustion.
"Hah, hah... man, that was fun, don'tcha think?"
She didn't hear Shion respond to her, but she liked to think that she agreed.
With her nose pressed up against Shion, Tenshi noticed that she, in fact, smelled damn terrible. Whether or not the Poverty Goddess always had was up for more careful consideration, but for now, Tenshi wasn't one to complain. After all, she probably smelt just as bad.
But Shion's hair... well, the sickly aroma of dirt and grease and unwashedness was abundant, as was expected. But, there was also a faint, flowery undertone that Tenshi couldn't quite put her finger on.
Whatever it was, it smelt really damn nice to her, despite the former given description.
Moving her head down to snuggle it within Shion's chest, or lack thereof, Tenshi noticed her body starting to shake uncontrollably.
It was about as close to inelegant blubbering as Tenshi had ever heard from Shion, which was rather strange to her, considering the nature of her character.
Not that it mattered much right now.
"Heh. There, there, Yorigami..." Tenshi stroked Shion's head with her offhand— the one she wasn't using to hold her tightly towards her own body.
"Kuh, hah... I'm, gods, so friggin' sorry, Lady Celestial..."
"What are you doing talking down on yourself? You did just fine, Shion."
Shion suddenly looked up from her depressive stupor, a new fire glinting within her eyes.
"R-really?"
"Yeah!" Tenshi looked up to meet her, bringing her head away from Shion's bosom— and upon realising where exactly her face had been sandwiched into all this time, Tenshi began to blush uncontrollably.
And of course, Shion noticed this, which only sent her into a fitful laughter at Tenshi's expense. Though, perhaps not all was bad; now that she thought about it, Tenshi had never actually heard Shion laugh before, certainly not before, during, or after a situation such as the one they were in now.
Usually, she'd be clinging to her side, almost as if she was thankful to a god (one that was above her, Tenshi hopes) for saving their lives.
But right now, she could feel nothing but pure happiness emanating from Shion's person.
"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up while you can..." Tenshi put on a show of irritation, but as with most things with her, it wasn't all that authentic.
While she was still positively dying of laughter, Tenshi realised something else, this time substantially less embarrassing— well, for her, at least.
"Shion, why did hold back?"
"Hmh, what do you mean?"
"I mean, you could have easily beaten up that bastard of a celestial seven ways to Sunday, but you obviously held back from doing so."
Tenshi stared at Shion deeply, giving her best 'Answer truthfully.' kind of look.
"So why did you do so, Yorigami?"
Shion looked hesitant to answer at first, but soon, something glinted in her usually colourless and dead eyes, a sly and inquisitive look that Tenshi had never quite seen from her before.
"Why do you think, Lady Celestial?"
There could have been a thousand different reasons why; lack of strength, lack of willpower, exhaustion, an aversion towards violence. With Shion, it could have very well been a combination of all three.
Though of course, there was only one answer that Tenshi was truly unwaveringly positive about.
"To allow me a moment to show off my skills and prowess protecting you, of course!"
Understandably, Shion was dumbfounded by the sudden and extraordinarily egotistical response that Tenshi gave— which wasn't all too out of character for her, she would admit. But no, the real reason for her astonishment wasn't with the way she said it or anything, not even with the response itself.
It was with how Tenshi, for perhaps the first time in her life, was correct on something she was utterly convinced of.
"C-correct, Lady Celestial..."
She looked away, half ashamed, half embarrassed at how easily Tenshi had seen through her ruse.
Meanwhile, Tenshi was celebrating her correct answer with far more bravado than was really necessary.
"HAH! I knew it, I wouldn't have expected anything less from myself!" Tenshi let go of Shion to clap her hands in excitement.
"After all, the Poverty Goddess of Misfortune would have never let an enemy get the better of her— unwillingly, that is."
Shion gave a smile in response, simply glad that Tenshi wasn't boasting about herself nearly as much as she expected her to be doing.
"Of course, Lady Celestial."
Tenshi stopped her celebration for a moment, then suddenly held Shion tight to her person, pressing their two foreheads together.
"And it's Tenshi from now on, ok?" Tenshi grinned like a huge, bumbling idiot. "'I've always hated formalities, anyway."
Shion froze up from how close their two faces were, almost tempted to...
No, another time, perhaps.
"I don't know how I could possibly ever repay you, Tenshi."
"Look, if ya wanna repay for my help..."
"Shoot."
Tenshi kept much of the same grin before, only with that smug attitude that Shion has come to adore so much. Granted, it also usually meant that she was thinking up something completely insane, but she couldn't care less at this point.
"How about making that tiramisu together, eh?"
Huh, how surprisingly peaceful.
"Sure, Tenko."
"Great! Then let us get— wait, what did you just call me?"
She looked up to face Shion, her entire body turned away from Tenshi once again.
Heh, what a doofus.
"Sure, I guess 'Tenko' will do."
Slinging her arm over Shion and putting her into a headlock, Tenshi scruffled her scraggly hair playfully while Shion sat there, content.
Perhaps this little plan of theirs worked out just fine after all.