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The dinner party at Boddy Mansion had officially ended, in all its stilted, awkward glory. You were miserable, but relieved.
Your floor-length gown, while providing a classy appearance for the undercover operation and allowing just enough room to conceal your handcuffs and revolver underneath, did little to keep your shivering body warm beneath it (no matter how pretty the shade of apricot was.)
“Tangerine,” Wadsworth began quietly as he placed a hand on your shoulder. “Excellent work with the sting. It was difficult at the end there, but we pulled through, and I’m proud.”
“Thank you, sir,” you replied with a polite smile. “I’ll be happy to go home and sleep now that this is all over.”
“Of course. However, before you do so, there is someone you should meet. A fellow agent we had on the scene, you knew him as Mr. Green?”
You raised your eyebrows slightly. You supposed it explained why he was innocent, though you would have expected your supervisor to tell you if there were an additional plant. However, Wadsworth was a highly respected and trustworthy man in the bureau, so you agreed and followed him to face the tall man in the blue suit.
Peeling off the ginger wig you’d worn all night with one hand, you held out the other toward him and smiled. “Agent Tangerine.”
He gave you an exhausted grin in response, and shook your offered hand. “Agent Green. Excellent work back there,”
“Both of you were outstanding,” commended Wadsworth. “But in all honesty, this is less of a professional matter. It’s actually more of a personal affair.” He stepped closer to both of you and lowered his voice.
“I believe we all have something in common, if you take my meaning,” he said as he placed a hand on Mr.— on *Agent* Green’s shoulder.
As Mr. Green blushed and glanced away, you realized what Wadsworth was implying.
“We’re all, ah… friends of Dorothy, then?” you whispered.
Both men cleared their throats.
“I suppose you could put it that way, yes,” said Green. “I wasn’t lying about that back there.”
You smiled a bit. “I could tell. Takes one to know one, I suppose, and I’d been suspecting Wadsworth here for a while too. Speaking of which…”
You turned toward Wadsworth and tilted your head slightly.
“Why exactly are you bringing this up?” you asked.
“Well, you see, I’ve been in the business a bit longer than my… *friend,* here. Which luckily means I have a late- albeit nonexistent- wife. However, Green here has no such luck. And, to my understanding, neither do you.”
He leaned a bit closer, placing an arm on you and Green’s backs to draw you in.
“As such,” he continued, “I think you two may be of use to one another.
Green began polishing his spectacles with his handkerchief anxiously. They were already perfectly clean, but he didn’t seem to want to look you or Wadsworth in the eye.
“I apologize if, ah, this is too-too forward of me, Agent Tangerine,” he stammered. “But I can assure you, this is strictly a matter of security. I *really* need this job, and I can tell you do too, so I think a false relationship could be a decent way to, uhm… *throw them off our scent,* as it were.”
He finally stopped polishing his glasses and looked up at you.
“I suppose what I mean is, ah… a ‘Lavender Marriage.’ Two homosexuals in the, uh ‘opposite direction’ get engaged as a safety measure.”
You blinked and tilted your head a bit. It could be a good option. People were starting to sniff around, what with you not agreeing to any dates with your fellow male agents. Then again…
“I’d like some time,” you replied, turning to Wadsworth. “Can we do that?”
“Absolutely,” he sighed with relief. “Of course, you want to actually know the man before you marry him don’t you?”
You chuckled at that. “Is that really so much of a crime?”
Green grinned at you- a real smile this time, not an anxious one. He had a nice smile.
‘As far as fake husbands go,’ you thought, ‘I suppose I wound up with a decent one.’
The man in the blue suit wiped his palms on his handkerchief and held out his hand. “Thank you so much,” he said. “You have no idea how much of a favor you’re doing us here.”
“Of course,” you said, firmly shaking his hand. “It’ll be good for me, too. Any longer like this and I thought they’d start planting cameras in my house!”
“Oh, please,” chimed Wadsworth. “They probably do that to everybody now.”
You hummed in agreement and turned back to your now-fiancé.
“How about lunch? To discuss it more? Next week, of course. Right now I just want to go home and sleep for a day straight.“
He nodded enthusiastically, smile widening. “Thank you again,” he whispered, eyes tearing up slightly. “I barely know anyone else I can talk to about this sort of thing. I mean, I can hardly ask Peacock, can I?”
You pulled him in for a hug, feeling his arms shake slightly as they wrapped around your back. You leaned your head into his and lightly patted his back, holding him tightly, but not enough to restrict his breathing.
“You’re good at that,” he sniffled into your shoulder.
“I’d better be, if I’m going to be your wife!”
And so, for the first time that night- and the first time in years- you were safe.