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The first night Dorian sleeps next to Cullen, he must soothe the Lion of Ferelden’s savage nightmares by bringing him back to reality slowly with soft words and softer touches, proving to him that the Tevinter is not a desire demon, that Cullen isn’t in the Fade anymore, is safe and there are no demons present.
The next week proves busy for them all as news comes of Grey Wardens on the Storm Coast, and Blackwall insists the Inquisition investigate. Cullen’s barely sleeping that week thanks to near-constant night terrors, which brings Cassandra to his side to ask after the cause. Cullen tells her he’s had bad nightmares, yes, perhaps due to hitting a particularly nasty pocket of lyrium inside him that doesn’t want its roots pulled out. He assumes they’ll die down shortly and she seems placated.
Two days after that, Sera, Blackwall and Solas depart with Inquisitor Adaar to meet Iron Bull and his Chargers on the Storm Coast. The plan, with Cullen’s wholehearted approval, is to evaluate the renowned mercenaries for acceptance into the Inquisition, as well as to look for the rumored Wardens.
The second time Dorian physically sleeps next to Cullen is when both men are enjoying a bout of kissing that same night of the Inquisitor’s departure. However, thanks to a lack of sleep, poor Cullen is quite literally gone stupid with exhaustion. So Dorian mutters a sleeping spell to force the too-responsible-for-his-own-good Commander to go to sleep, whereupon he divests him of his armor and boots and tucks him into Dorian’s own bed.
(Their more amorous times are spent in Dorian’s room because he refuses to make out under an open sky (in or out of Cullen’s bedroom) when it’s nearly freezing outside, you see.)
Pleased with his solution to the Cullen Sleep Problem, or CSP as Dorian’s begun calling it in the privacy of his own mind, he removes his fabulously Tevinter armor and scoots in under copious amounts of very soft blankets with his amatus, who sighs happily and smiles in his sleep when Dorian snuggles into him so their foreheads are touching and their limbs are entwined.
Then Cullen’s nightmare hits him and unbeknownst to Dorian, Cullen finds himself experiencing yet again the thing that’s got him so sleep-deprived and terrified. There in the Fade, he’s arguing with the desire demon that tortured him at Uldred’s behest for months during the mage’s siege of Ferelden’s Circle.
Cullen’s once again trapped in the all-too-familiar pink bubble prison and the desire demon, which appears male rather than female, changes itself into various forms at almost ludicrous speed. He sees everyone from Anders to Samson, from Greagoir to Daylen Amell and then finally – as usual – comes fellow brand-new templar Charles, with whom Cullen had shared a bunk several times over in the trainee bunkhouse during their onsite training.
He suffers being tempted by Anders, whom he rejects because he’s been warned about the man who will use his body to get anything he wants, which basically means escaping. Then it’s Samson, upon whom he had a secret crush for the longest time, followed by Greagoir, which the demon tries to use as him ordering Cullen, that all templars must do what he’s being asked to do, in order to show their loyalty in service, but Cullen refuses as he doesn’t believe that.
When that apparition pops out of existence, now he sees Daylen Amell, younger even than Cullen, who walks into the room with a huge bottle of lyrium potion. Lyrium, which Cullen’s been deprived of for days…weeks…months? Too long, however long it’s been…Daylen approaches and tells him that big bottle will be his if he’ll do to the mage what he always wished he could from afar. Amell strips out of his robe and suddenly lashes out with lightning bolts flying from both hands to torture Cullen and that’s when Cullen wakes up screaming in agony. He wakes so violently that he literally throws Dorian completely off the bed.
Dorian being Dorian, he hides the wince from the pain in his hip that collided so violently with the floor and quips that this is yet another reason he will not sleep in the man’s loft bed as he’d have likely gone over the side or possibly even out of the tower completely had they been there.
Cullen is mortified, begging Dorian to leave him in those wee hours before he hurts him even worse. Dorian hears the man weeping as he departs his own room and decides to do some private research without letting on why to anyone. But Cassandra, annoying Seeker-type-person that she is, realizes what he’s up to when she snoops in his library nook and finds books on sleeping disorders, disorders of the mind, nightmares, magic of the mind and other such tomes.
She confronts him in the study down off the big open dining area where the dwarf statues are, a place she knows she can always find the mage if he’s literally nowhere else to be found. He’s made the small once-cobwebby study down there his own, but only the advisors and the Inquisitor himself even know it exists.
At first, the altus and the seeker get into a shouting match, as Cassandra believes he’s got something nefarious up his sleeve that the commander wouldn’t agree with and it’s as they’re shouting that Dorian, completely frustrated beyond the point of being able to deal with it any longer, shouts, “Because I love him, all right? Is that not reason enough to want to save him from the horrors of his own mind?”
Taken aback, and being a hopeless romantic at heart, of course, Cassandra softly asks, “You…love him?”
“Yes.” Dorian is perturbed and blushing like crazy because it’s not his way to be open with anyone about such things. “Are you happy? You push and push and push and now you know something deeply personal that I would see remain so.”
“You have my word, Dorian. I do not trifle with matters of the heart.” Dorian’s surprised. Then she asks, “Does Cullen know?”
“I…have not said as much to him, though I suspect it’s somewhat obvious at this point.” When he turns, she sees a massive bruise on the back of his exposed shoulder, and he has to tell her that it happened when Cullen violently awoke from a nightmare so bad it left him in a state no man would ever admit to being seen in. “If you think this one looks bad, you should see my hip.” Cassandra’s responding frown isn’t what he’s hoping for.
“Don’t you see? I must help him. I’ve simply got to discover the source and do something about it!”
Cassandra says she understands, and shares what she knows surrounding what happened at Kinloch Hold, for it was she who investigated Uldred’s takeover after the fact. In fact, it was partially her report to Justinia on the matter that started the late Divine down the road of realizing the chantry had no choice but to step in and do their best to proffer peace between mages and templars, for the templars would not soon forgive or forget what befell their brethren at Uldred’s hands.
Unfortunately, Justinia’s plans were waylaid by what was happening in Starkhaven with the Circle burning to the ground and many mages and templars dying or fleeing, the Seeker reveals. And then Kirkwall, of course, and the near-miss on an Exalted March and finally, the terrible unrest in Orlais from both the templars and the civil war that was breaking out between Gaspard and Celene for the Orlesian throne.
Dorian is listening to Cassandra very carefully indeed, and asking an awful lot of clarifying questions until she indicates she must leave to attend the afternoon defensive class she teaches to mid-level recruits.
Unfortunately, all Dorian’s talking and listening and thinking and postulating has forced him to a conclusion that he doesn’t like one little bit. He recalls hearing Varric tell the story of how a blood mage managed to put demons into templar recruits in Kirkwall, and also Adaar’s tale of Cassandra’s former apprentice, Daniel. It appeared to them at the time that Lord Seeker Lucius had found a way to get demons into Seekers as well. Dorian has a really, really, really bad feeling and goes to consult with the only other person in Skyhold that he not only thinks will understand, but might actually be able to help.
Solas agrees that Dorian’s theory is indeed possible and not even really that difficult to do exactly as Varric and Adaar have described, so long as the mage summoning the demon manages to bypass it entering him or her, to get it into the mundane’s body. When Dorian asks how besides killing the mundane one might rid them of the demon in question, Solas tells him a story that the Redcliffe storyteller shared the first time he accompanied the Inquisitor to the Hinterlands. Before he was the Inquisitor, actually, when they were all still at Haven.
While Adaar was meeting with Mother Giselle, the storyteller was sharing with him, Varric and Cassandra the story of young Connor Guerrin, and how the Hero of Ferelden, Daylen Amell, went into the Fade with the help of First Enchanter Irving of Ferelden’s Circle, and slew the demon that had taken control of the boy and was keeping Arl Eamon ill.
When the Hero awoke from his foray into the Fade, young Connor was free of the demon, all thralls were within their own minds again and even though the arl didn’t awaken due to the poison still in his blood, he was no longer being tortured by this demon in the Fade.
Solas then looks at Dorian and says, “It, too, was a desire demon, giving the boy everything he wanted in keeping his father alive, but taking from him his very soul by ordering him to commit acts that plague him to this very day. I met the young man in Redcliffe and found him to be a tortured soul indeed.”
Then Solas reaches for his pouch and takes something out of it. It is a beautiful gem that is of emerald-like color and feel, but is truly like nothing that Dorian has ever before seen. “Here, take this,” he tells the Tevinter as he hands it to him.
“It’s beautiful. What is it?” Dorian asks, turning it over and over to look at it.
“A very special gem. Imbue it with love, for when the battle becomes too great you will both require something in the real world, a tether, to help you not get lost in the illusion.”
“Then you already know what he experiences.”
“Of course. I walk the Fade often.”
“Can you help us?”
Solas frowns even more than usual. “I don’t know that I will be able to, but I shall be what I can.”
“Thank you.”
“You must succeed, Altus Pavus,” Solas replies gravely. “For if the Inquisition’s Commander falls, so too does its great army and that above all else must not occur.”
Now feeling a greater burden than when it was simply about him saving the man he loves from becoming ill because of getting no sleep, Dorian makes some discreet inquiries and learns that Cullen is currently in the war room with the other advisors and the Inquisitor, and so he waits on the bench outside for them to emerge.
Cassandra looks pale and locks eyes with Dorian, very clearly indicating without words that he needs to do something. Dorian nods once. Leliana emerges tight-lipped, eyes glistening. She was there when Cullen was discovered, that much Dorian knows from Cassandra, so she saw him after months of him having been tortured. She doesn’t look at Dorian as she passes. Then comes Adaar, who is helping Cullen stay upright as unobtrusively as possible. He brightens when he sees Dorian, while Cullen just looks dully at him.
Dorian winds up taking Cullen back to his own room upon the battlements, while Adaar fetches food and drink for them both. Without a word, Dorian undresses Cullen to his smalls and tucks him into his bed. Then food and drink comes courtesy of a runner, but Cullen’s already passed out. Dorian eats, drinks a bit but not much, and sets about imbuing the special gem from Solas with all the love he feels for Cullen. He then crawls into bed next to him, wraps their four hands together around the gently pulsating gem and casts a sleep spell on them both.
Dorian spends what seems like a century searching the Fade to find Cullen. Solas does what he can to direct him, redirect him and even gets some help from his spirit friends to distract a meddling pride demon long enough for Dorian to find the desire demon that was let loose upon Cullen.
Sure enough, he finds Cullen imprisoned in a hazy green recreation of the Circle of Magi on Lake Calenhad, with the desire demon there. Dorian – with no small amount of trepidation – commands the demon to leave Cullen be, which of course the blasted creature doesn’t take kindly to.
A massive battle ensues, during which time the desire demon almost manages to possess Dorian, who raises a few incomplete skeletons to distract the creature as he then casts a massive confusion spell. It disorients Desire long enough for Dorian to suck down two lyrium potions and a health one, too, for good measure.
Solas and his spirit friends are managing to overpower the pride demon slowly but surely and Cullen, who’s completely broken at this point, is no help at all, caught up in his past as he is. During one glance toward Cullen, Desire manages to grab Dorian by the throat, squeezing so hard he literally cannot get a single wisp of breath into his lungs. It’s then that the truth hits home: he is in real danger of being killed in the Fade, which will render him tranquil in the real world.
Using Solas’ gift as an anchor to the mortal realm, and with every last ounce of mana he possesses, Dorian’s powerful magic manages to reach out into his own Skyhold quarters, grab the gem from where it’s still nestled among their four hands and bring it into the Fade, through a sort of reverse necromancy he’s mastered in which he’s reaching out of the Fade into the mortal realm rather than from there back into the Fade.
The arrival of the gem makes Desire screech as though someone’s just immolated it. Dorian uses its shock to scrabble away, then holds the gem out in front of him, finding it allows him to pass through Cullen’s purple-pink prison walls. And as if the Fade itself were speaking, he begins to hear explanations about what’s happening and why.
You recognize that you are not capable of all things alone.
Dorian wonders if this is Cole somehow accompanying him, though the voice is more a thought than an actual audible thing.
It is your humility over it being Solas who knew the solution and gave you the life-saving gem that allows you to counter this construct that Pride made specially for Cullen.
Apparently Desire hears the words too, for they very clearly enrage it. Doubly so when it realizes Dorian has managed to breach the torture chamber that it built for Cullen ever so many years ago. The mage kneels before his amatus, kisses his dripping wet forehead, and catches his gaze. And as Dorian places the gem in amongst his and Cullen’s four entwined hands there in the ugly, glowing prison inside the ugly green Fade, he tells him repeatedly that he loves him and that the desire demon has been attached to him since Kinloch and that only Cullen can break the tether with the spirit of Command, which is what he is, for he is the commander, as he should be.
Cullen comes back to himself and realizes that if this was really Kinloch, Dorian wouldn’t be there. Then he hears the mage’s words, and feels strength from the stone filled with Dorian’s love and asks, almost like a child might, “You love me?”
“I do, Cullen. More than I can possibly explain to you with a desire demon trying to kill us!”
And the love that fills them, it imbues itself from the brilliant green gem up and through their two bodies, outward like a very slow burst of brilliant emerald-green magic, up and out and out and up until the bubble shatters as though made of glass that breaks into millions of pieces, which all then fall to the floor like sparkling diamonds.
Desire is not pleased.
The men press their lips together before turning to face what they know will be the fight of their lives, Cullen rising to the occasion and countering Desire with Command, for a Command spirit comes to his aid while a spirit of Wisdom shows up to assist Dorian. The mage doesn’t understand why until he realizes that Solas and his spirit friends have lost the ability to fight Pride, so drained are they, and the creature is headed straight for them.
“Be not prideful; secure in your ability to triumph, but humble enough to know that you cannot do so alone,” Wisdom tells him.
Then Cullen, grappling mightily with Desire, uses the gem – which he has reformed with his will to be sharp on one end – to sever the tether that became visible the moment the prison walls broke. The gem slices right through the magical rope better than the sharpest knife in existence, pure love releasing him from all former desires. For he now has but one, and it’s the man currently readying himself to take on the massive pride demon with Cullen at his side.
The men rush to each other and Cullen breathlessly states, “If this is it, if we’re going to die right now, then I need to do this first.” He kisses him deeply. They part, eyes saying so much more than the small words that come next.
“I love you,” Dorian breathes.
Cullen’s eyes shine. “As I love you.”
This is when Wisdom and Command meet and merge right before their eyes, becoming a spirit as large as the Pride demon’s physical form. Dorian manages to tap into the lyrium in Cullen’s real, physical body back in the mortal realm through the imbued gem, using its power to make the fact that he’s a mage in the Fade even stronger. Cullen, picking up one of the templar sword and shield sets from the floor around what’s left of the Fade-created prison bubble, fights seamlessly with Dorian against Pride, as they are now so in tune with each other that they move like a choreographed dance.
The newly merged Command and Wisdom spirits are now a single entity, one that yells, “I am the Spirit of Authority!” It backs Pride into the fake Circle wall, booming, “You cannot defeat Authority, for Authority brings to bear the unquestionable Command formed by true Wisdom rather than greed or lust or desire.”
Thus Pride, which has kept its hold over those demons it had summoned through Uldred all these many years, has not the strength to defeat Authority tempered with Love, for faced with such adds Envy to Pride, leaving it fat and bloated and unable to fight. It is easily slain by magic and sword together, synchronicity, ability, talent. Love.
And its prediction comes true. The Spirit of Authority, birthed by Cullen and Dorian’s own good spirits, helps them defeat Pride and the army of demons it summons. Authority then urges the duo to return to the mortal realm, revealing that for as long as they remain together Authority will ever be their guide, supported by and tempered with, Love.
The mage and his warrior awaken and embrace, kissing deeply. Both are exhausted and shaky, and eat and drink from what was brought earlier, before returning to bed. Too tired for physical exertions, Cullen spoons Dorian and for the first time in more than ten years, sleeps without nightmares, for what he dreams of now is a bed in a wide open prairie filled with fragrant wildflowers, and in that bed is Dorian fast asleep. Cullen joins him as the stars come out overhead and he drifts off to sleep in the Fade just as he did in the real world, with Dorian in his arms.
Solas magically picks the lock to Dorian’s room later that night to check that they’re well. He then holds out his hand and from thin air, the intact gem he’d given Dorian just falls out of invisibility into his palm.
“Remarkable. You birthed a brand-new spirit today,” he whispers to them as they sleep. “I wonder if you’ll come to understand the significance of that.”
He then leaves, magically locking the door behind him. Solas stops, looks at the gem in his hand and then whispers, as he returns it to his pouch, “I wonder at having forgotten it myself.”