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There was definitely something wrong with Freelancer and Damien knew he had to say something, anything but he didn’t know how to bring it up or what to say. Was it even his place to say anything?
The Inversion affected all of them diffrently. Lasko was as good as gone, avoiding him as much as possible. Hux. Well he would know how Hux would be if pressing that damned call button wasn’t so hard. The last time he saw Gavin was after that awful night. And Freelancer acted off. They were checking in with all of them as could be expected, deflecting most questions about themselves as usual, but it were the times they didn’t talk. They would open their mouth to start saying something, but cut themselves off before a single word could pass their lips.
And right now they just sat there in their chair, two rows infront of him and stared that the blackboard blankly. He knew they cared for the history of magic it was all new history for them anyways. They seemed to desparetly picking up anything they had no way of knowing before and he could respect the effort. They frowned and suddenly shook their head. Paying attention once more.
Damien looked away feeling weird about staring. He added some new footnotes about the topic on his paper. He already knew about the near civil riot in the 19th hundreds, having read the passages in his book the weekend before. When he looked back at Freelancer they were in space once more, frozen in place. There was no way them could follow the lesson. And Damien was concerned.
They shared two more classes that day and he wanted to talk to them between room changes, but when he looked up they were already out of the room. He couldn’t find them on the halls either.
He let it go. They knew all of them would be there for them if they wanted help, but would they reach out? Gavin wasn’t really talking to him. Not about anything that mattered anyways. Damien just hoped Freelancer was okay. At least they seemed to talk to their therapist. The one good thing this school came up with. He skipped lunch and went straight to the gym to train. He’d just eat afterward. Surely there were some leftovers in his fridge at home.
The next time Damien noticed that Freelancer wasn’t doing great was a week later. They nearly passed out walking to their next class. He catched the books they were holding.
“Hey Freelancer. Oh god”, he placed a hand on their arm to steady them, which made them flinch, “You don’t look so good. Do you need a minute?”
It took a few seconds for them to blink slowly at him and come back to reality.
“Damien”
“Yes”, this wasn’t good at all, “what’s wrong? You don’t seem like yourself right now”
That was an understatement, but they just smiled, “Na don’t worry. I had trouble sleeping last night. I just need to get through elemental control and I’m done for today. I promise I’m okay. Thanks tho.”
He didn’t believe them and they knew, but didn’t say anything further. Not being able to do much more right now Damien just sighed and let them go.
“Please take it easy okay?”
“You know I’m not easy”, they laughed, wiggling their eyebrows.
“That’s not!”, groaned the fire elemental, “Let’s talk soon okay?”
“Sure. See you.”
Damien just watched them leave before heading to his own lesson. He had to talk to the others. There was no way he’d let that go and if that’s what it takes for all of them to talk with each other again so be it.
“Hey Hux”, his voice sounded shaky at best, “are you done with school today?”
He kicked the gravel under his shoes.
“Hey Dames”, he sounded cheerful which didn’t last, “I. Ehm. Yeah, I think so. What’s up?”
“Freelancer is up. Have you talked with Gavin or Lasko in the last few days?”, Damien tried his best to keep his cool, but he could already feel the fire inside him start to boil with inaction. No doubt the people around him would complain soon. He really shouldn’t have called Huxley right after school ended.
“Not really dude. What’s going on? I haven’t seen Freelancer either.”
“What do you mean? Don’t you two have elemental control together?” This was getting even worse than he thought.
“Nah dude. Elemental control was canceled today”, Hux’s voice trailed off slowly.
“Can we”, Damien stocked, “can we meet? I think we should talk about this as a group.”
That would be the first time he would be in a room with him after nearly dying.
“Yeah”, Huxley said firmly, “I will try calling Lasko.”
Damien flinched. He knew that it probably wasn’t meant like that but even Huxley not trusting him to talk to Lasko hurt.
“I”, to angry, he took a deep breath and tried again, “I will call Gavin. Can we use your place again?”
“Of course”, Huxley sounded like he wanted to calm an out of control animal which only irritated Damien even more.
“See you in 30 then.” He didn’t mean to hang up this suddenly. But he did.
“Fuck.”
Huxley stared at his phone for a few seconds before sighing and searching for Lasko’s number. This dump screen was to small for his fingers. This could go either well or really badly.
He found the number and pressed call three times.
“Hey. Ehm. Hux. What’s. What’s up?”
“Hi Lasko”, Hux tried to smile, “Are you free today?”
“Yes. My office hours just ended. Why? Is something wrong? Do you” the sound of something being knocked over came through the phone, “NO! Shit. Fuck. Frick. Not again,”
“Do you guys need anything?”
“No”, Huy stopped, “well. Damien and I thought we all needed to talk. Something is up with Freelancer. He’s trying to call Gav right now.”
“Damien? I ehm.”
There was a long pause and Huxley could hear him picking up the pens that dropped. “I. We”, a shaky deep breath, “I can come over. WWhen?”
“We were thinking in 25? If that’s okay?”
“Yeah. I should be able to make it to your place till then. The the meeting is at your place right? I. I mean we could meet somewhere else too, but we have met at your place the last three times. So I just a assumed it would be there again. But I don’t wanna say that your place is a free for all. I mean it it is still your place and if you don’t want us meeting there it would be no problem. Cause cause we have no say about that. It’s your place. I. Wh Where do we meet?”
“We planned on meeting at my home again. I don’t mind. I have the most space anyways. See you at 5 then?”
“Yeah. Yes. See you at 5.”
Huxley ended the call. They were a mess, but something was wrong with their friend and they wouldn’t leave them hanging.
Dames rang the bell five minutes before 5 and Huxley went to open the door. It was weird looking at the fire elemental again. They just stared at each other for a few seconds before anyone could speak. Damien looked like a mess. He clearly was concerned about everything going on. His hair was all over the place. Something Hux had never seen before.
“Gav said he can’t make it”, there was a pause before Damien avoided his eyes, “apparently he and Freelancer already had plans for today. Which is good. At least they aren’t alone right now. Can I. Can I come in?”
“Of. Of course”, Huxley stepped away to let him in. Heat was radiating off of fire elemental but Hux could tell he was trying his best to keep it in, “come in.”
There was an awkward silence between them.
“Lasko. Ehm Lasko said he would come over”, he tried his best but it hurt in his eyes. Why couldn’t they talk to each other anymore? They were still alive damn it. They got to live when 15000 people didn’t. When Xavier didn’t.
“That’s good.”
“Do you want something to drink?”
“Water. If you have any?”
“I do. You can sit down if you want. I’ll be right back.”
At 5 to the second Huxley’s bell rung again. Hux froze while the water was still pouring into the second glass in his hand.
“I- I’ll go”, he called and sat the glasses down before shutting the water line off. The earth elemental opened the door a second time to a very anxious looking Lasko.
“Hi Lasko”, he stepped aside to let him in, “come in.”
“Hi Hux. Thanks for calling”, he hushed past before getting rid of his shoes and jacket.
“Do you want something to drink? I’m getting Damien and me some water right now.”
“No. No thank you. I’m good”, Lasko tried to smile but was very clearly very tense.
“That’s okay. I’ll be right back.”
“Hi”, Lasko choked on his words, “Hi Dames.”
“Hi Lasko. How have you been doing?”, Damien tried unsure of how to talk to the air head. He didn’t want to frighten him again, but somehow it didn’t seem to matter what he tried Lasko seemed to stiffen up anyways.
“I- I’m good. Well. Not good but compared to what could be I’m good.”
“That’s good”, desperate to shake the mood he looked down and sat so far to the right as he could on the three man couch. He motioned toward the rest. “Please. Feel free to sit too.”
Lasko sat down as far to the left as possible but it didn’t help.
Huxley joined them and gave Damien his water before sitting down in a bean bag. Lasko seemed to kick himself mentally for not noticing the bean bag earlier. Damien noticed and felt the anger spike in him. He has done nothing for Lasko to be afraid of him! Then the guilt hit and he looked away at Huxley. It was a struggle but they indeed managed to come up with the plan. They would throw a sleep over at Hux’s house. Maybe play some mario kart. They agreed to go slow at first, not wanting to overwhelm the Freelancer. It was important that they knew that their friends were still around and would be there for them. Maybe they would open up some.
The sleep over was scheduled three days from then on the next Saturday, but Lasko had to cancel last minute for some meeting at school. Something to do with new admin guidelines. Gavin brought Freelancer over and dipped. Apparently something in the demon plain needed his attention.
“Man I’m sad Gavin couldn’t stay”, Huxley huffed, “I haven’t talked to him in weeks now. How is he? Is he okay?”
Freelancer shrugged, “He’s doing okay considering everything.”
“That’s good”, said Damien, he looked up from the floor. Pillows and blankets covered the floor between couch and the TV. Dames sat with his back to the couch trying to connect the controllers and start Mario Kart. Freelancer sat next to him.
“Thanks for the invite. Mario kart is a great idea”, they smiled and took some of the chips which stood on the coffee table.
“Do you want something to drink? I’m just getting stuff so we don’t have to keep getting up”, asked Hux from the door frame.
“Of course”, the freelancer huffed as they got back on their feet, “let me help.”
Together they brought enough energies, sodas and sweet shit to send any dentist into a coma. They had a great time shooting the shit for some cups and the two elementals were sure some of those smiles on their friends face were real.
“I’m fucking first baby!”, the Freelancer shouted while finishing the race.
“Only because of that dumb blue shell”, Damien half grumbled but also kinda smiling. He was so glad they were enjoying themselves, “I knew I should have taken that speed boost.”
“But you didn’t”, vine-referenced the freelancer, while throwing another sour patch kid in their mouth before leaning back against the couch. They chucked the last of their energy before half crawling forward to set the empty can to the side. Something about the motion seemed to hurt tho and they nearly fell on their face since their arm gave out.
“What’s wrong?”, Damien shot forward to catch his friend but stopping just before touching them, remembering how they flinched the last time he surprisingly touched them.
“No-thing. Must have pinched some nerve the wrong way”, Freelancer said shaking their arm and stretching their back before getting back to the way they were before.
“Are you sure?”, asked Hux concerned.
“Yeah. It’s fine.”
They kept on playing, but had half an eye on them now. Maybe it just started with that one, or they just noticed now how the freelancer would shift ever so slightly. Trying to switch points of pressure. The times they fell under 5th place it seemed like they went all spacey again, before getting back into the game.
“Dudes. I’m sorry but I gotta get some water. I think my stomach can’t handle anymore sugar.”
“Good idea Hux. Can you get me some too?”
“Sure. I’ll just run the britta. Be right back.”
“What is up with you?” Freelancer frozen staring at the screen.
“What?”, they asked after a few seconds.
“Something is up with you”, said Damien watching them, “you keep spacing out. You seem to have slept like 5 hours this week and last wednesday you nearly fainted at school. What is up with you? You clearly aren’t doing well.”
“I-”, he could see tears filling their eyes, but they refused to look at him, “It’s nothing. I’m fine. Believe me.”
“Well I don’t.”
A single tear rolled down their cheek.
“You are crying. What is going on? Talk to us. We are your friends, We care about you. We are worried.”
“I- No. I- I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Please. Damien”
“You are always there for us. Why can’t we be there for you?”
“Dames.”
“Are we not good enough?”, he regretted the words the moment he said them as Freelancer started full on crying now.
“No!”, they hick uped.
“No! Please! I can’t tell. I- I shouldn’t! I-I-”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t- That’s not how I-”, Damien has never been good with comfort. He reached for his friend trying to calm them, but he didn’t even come close to touching them before they flinched away. It hurt like a slap to the face. They just kept crying now, balled into fetus position the tightest way they could.
“What’s going on?”, Hux had heard the crying and rushed into the living room.
“I- I just wanted to know what’s going on with them”, Damien choked on his words not knowing what to do but desperately wanting to comfort his friend.
“Oh no”, Huxley’s voice was all soft as he kneeled down next to the crying freelancer, “I’m so sorry.”
He gently touched their head. Their eyes flew open, staring at him in panic. He held their eye contact softly, apologizing again, and opening his arms slowly, asking them silently if they wanted a hug. They slowly came out of the cramped position and crawled into his arms, burying themselves into his broad chest. He softly but firmly held them close, shushing them now and again, stroking their hair.
They kept twitching, sometimes even scratching him, but Huxley held on, They didn’t seem to do it on purpose. It just happened, and kept sending them deeper in crying fits,
“Hey, hey, hey”, Hux tried to reach them, putting some distance between them so that he could look at them. Panicked they clawed their nails into his skin.
“N-n-no pl-please don’t. Plea-ease hold m-me.”
The earth elemental immediately lifted them closer to him again so that they could wrap their arms around his neck.
“Sh sh sh. I’m sorry”, whispered Hux softly rocking them both back and forth, “we’re here for you. Damien didn’t mean it. Shhh. We’re here.”
Damien just sat there watching them. He wanted to help but didn’t know how. He already created this mess and was to scared to make it even worse so he sat where he sat and hoped Huxley could do what he couldn’t.
“N-no”, they hick uped, “I-I wanna t-t-tell, but. But I’m not not sup-posed to.”
“Tell us what?”, asked Damien quietly hoping with every fiber in his being that coping how Hux was talking would help. It did.
“Wh-What is wro-wrong.”
“You can tell us”, whispered Hux in their hair locking eyes with Damien. This was important for both of them, “but you don’t have to if you don’t want to. We’ll always be there for you.”
The crying seemed to finally taper off. Both of them couldn’t tell if it’s because they cried themselves empty of tears or energy. Freelancer just hung in Hux’s arms limply, he didn’t move, waiting to see what would happen next.
It was silent for a long while.
Until their friends back spasmed heavily another time, and they just started screaming into Huxley’s shoulder, thrashing around wildly. They rocked Huxley with their thrashing.
Panicked Huxley grabbed them under their arms and held them at a bit of a distance again.
“Freelancer. Hey. Freelancer!”, they didn’t see him and he shook them softly, “Freelancer please!”
It hurt hearing Huxley this desperate as he laid them on the soft ground.
“It’s not FAIR!”
“It’s not fair. It’s not fair. It’s not fair. It’s not fair. It’s not fair. It’s not FAIR!”
“Why can’t I tell the people I care about what I struggle with?”, their voice was so quiet and hoarse now. It was barely audible, “Why can’t I tell them what happened?”
Huxley and Damien just looked at them shocked. They didn’t seem to see their friends. They seemed to be far far away. Not here. Not even blinking.
“It’s not fair.”
“What happened?”, asked Huxley slowly and slightly scared.
“To much”, their loose body slowly achieved a normal amount of body tension as it laid there staring into nothing. Damien began to worry about their eyes as the freelancer shook once once again but came back to themselves. They barely moved and blinked a few times slowly.
“Aua”
“Freelancer?”, Huxley asked softly.
“My eyes hurt”, they slowly rubbed their eyes before looking at him. They couldn’t hold eye contact for more than a few seconds.
“Yes?”
“You can always talk to us. You don’t have to be anything you think you have to be. Just please don’t let it get that bad again.”
“You don’t have to be perfection. Please let us help”, commented Damien kind of exhausted, “do you want water? You’re probably dehydrated.”
“Yeah”, croaked Freelancer, “and some tissues please.”
Huxley got up to get the things they wanted, “here.”
“Can you sit up?”, asked Damien holding the glass while Huxley got one of those tissues out of the box.
“Yeah”, they struggled but managed to sit up, “thank you.”
“I’m so sorry”, they mumbled and got the snot out of their nose before wiping some of their tears away. Their eyes started to swell from crying.
“I feel like shit”, they joked and their friends laughed softly.
“That’s okay. We’re here for you.”