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Ryder bit back a groan as he woke up. The rougher fabric against his face already told him where he was. Another restless nap that landed with him rolling off Rhys and falling into the couch. He was lucky the giant rarely moved in his sleep or this would be a bigger problem. He squirmed a bit to try and grab the fabric to climb up. He’d get high enough, jump on Rhys’s chest and pretend he just wanted a lift to the ground. No one would know this was happening… again.
Rhys shifted a little and Ryder slid down more. Another groan was held back. As much as he hated when this happened, he wouldn’t give these times up. Soon enough his da- no he can’t think like that anymore. Soon enough Vitus would send him away. Mo- Dabria was back and they didn’t need the little human they took in anymore.
Ryder felt the tears slip out of his eyes. He couldn’t climb up if he was crying. Rhys would notice, he always noticed. His brother… the giant wasn’t his brother and Ryder had to accept that. The same when it came to Felix. Alessia wasn’t his sister either. He wasn’t part of this family, he’d just fooled himself until now. With Dabria, Sola, and Luna there was no reason to even pretend they’d want him around.
Ryder slid down a bit more, this time because of his own shifting. A door opened somewhere, but that didn’t matter. He just had to collect himself a bit. Then he’d go back to normal, pretend it’s all fine. They’d been back a while he didn’t need-
“Rhys!” Felix’s shout made him jump. The oldest of them didn’t usually act like that. Rhys shifted again and Ryder fell even further down. He should speak up, say anything to bring attention to the fact he was there. Something about that shout made him scared to remind them he existed. Felix acting differently might mean things were finally going to change.
“Ugh, what? I was sleeping,” Rhys’s voice was deeper than normal. The giant he had to learn not to call a brother didn’t usually sound like that when he woke up. These weren’t the giants he knew. Has it been an act this whole time?
“Have you stopped the damn rumor about dad trying to get me married?” Ryder relaxed a little. The two had always fought a lot. It was part of what happened from the lives they had to lead. Both fight because they should want to lead the Kamias when in reality Rhys was happy to stay just a member of the family. This was normal, it probably felt different because of where he was.
“Oh,” Rhys’s weight shifted again. Ryder felt it more than before, he might be in danger. “No. Deal with it. It’s useful. I’m not killing it cause you’re annoyed someone was hitting on you again.”
The weight that started to press on him grew. He knew what that meant, especially with the grunts above him. Felix was straddling Rhys. His heart was racing, Rhys knew he was here right? He didn’t tell his bro- the giant he left. Rhys would know, he always did, and say something. Right?
“Kill the damned rumor. Someone tried to ‘share’ a human with me today. They wanted to bite them in half!” Felix’s shout was enough to make Ryder’s ears ring. He tried to cover them, but the pressure around him grew making it impossible to move.
“Fuck off, I’m not killing it. Now let me-” Rhys was grunting. Ryder braced himself; he had an idea of what was next. “-sleep!”
There was a loud thud and the weight pressing on Ryder was gone. At least part of it was gone, Felix was gone. Rhys had shoved the older giant off himself, but they still… they still hadn’t said a thing about him. Did they even care that he might still be around?
“Rhys, kill the rumor!”
The weight on Ryder disappeared. He heard the thunk that likely meant Felix pulled Rhys down. He tried to climb up. It was harder when he’d already started to fall between the back of the couch and cushion. Suddenly the explanation that a single cushion was safer for humans made a lot more sense. If he could wind up in between the cushions because of a fall they’d definitely kill him.
Ryder lost his grip as the two fighting giants slammed into the couch. He was falling deeper and deeper. The loud slams of fists meeting skin had him flinching. He’d seen them fight before. Times where he was somewhere safe while the two argued just in case it became a fight like this. This time they’d completely forgotten he even existed. It proved that they were just waiting for the time they could send him away… maybe he was too much of a risk. Maybe he had to die.
“Just. Fuck. Off!” Rhys growled. Another thud somewhere that shook even the couch. He could hear the panting of the younger giant. A weight slammed next to him, a few inches closer to the back of the couch and Rhys would have killed him. “Now let me sleep. I’m gonna be out late tonight.”
Ryder knew speaking up would help. If he shouted, screamed, anything. It wouldn’t leave his throat. He could feel the building scream desperate to escape him. The idea of what they’d do if they found him had it trapped. Neither had checked, Rhys had forgotten Ryder was there before. Felix probably wouldn’t have stopped himself from jumping on the couch to straddle Rhys if Ryder was still visible. His vision was blurring again.
There was a deep growl from further away. It was Felix, but Felix never growled. Seconds later another weight slammed down next to him. Once again just a few inches closer and he’d be dead. The indent was a knee. Felix was the one who came close this time. Ryder slowly realized he was shaking. The sweat on his palms made it impossible to grasp the cloth around him. They had to see him. They had to stop.
A slam of a fist that made both weights get closer. Ryder’s chest was growing tight. He could barely breathe. More slams, the weights even closer. A few more shifts and one would reach him. He’d be dead.
“ Enough! ” his dad’s voice echoed around… No it wasn’t his dad it was Vitus. Vitus Kamia was there to stop his sons from fighting. Once they stopped he’d get out and hide somewhere until he recovered. The weights didn’t disappear. “ I SAID ENOUGH! ”
The slamming of fists above him stopped. Ryder thought his ears would bleed from the volume. He couldn’t… he could remember the last time he heard the head of the Kamias shout like that. It was when that other giant almost killed him, the first time he called Vitus dad. The fight must have left them looking worse than he thought.
“What is wrong with both of you?!” Vitus shouted again. His voice was only a little lower than before. A growl came from the man. Ryder knew those growls well, he heard them all the time. In meetings, at the bar, everywhere. It had been a while. They’d stop letting him help, right now he wished they had kept him active. Then he would have been out with Felix and not hidden in the couch inches from death. “Where is your brother ?”
Everything was still. No fighting, no movement. Time might have even stopped. Then the world caught up. Loud thuds followed the weights disappearing. Ryder slid down, sitting on the hard fabric of the couch beneath the cushion. Light blinded him as the cushion disappeared and he was shown to the world again. His teeth were chattering as his body shook. He didn’t want to be found .
Once his eyes adjusted he was faced with two giants staring at him. Pink and gold eyes locked on him. There were marks on both faces from the fight. Hands were reaching towards him, but that made him more scared. He was in the way. They’d hurt him for this. Just like the one they saved him from. The faces blurred.
“Ryder…?” both of the giants said his name. He couldn’t bring himself to move. The hands were coming closer.
“Leave,” Vitus demanded. The giants wanted him gone. He needed to leave, it was important to leave. Once he was gone things would be better. He… he didn’t know what he’d do. The hands were coming closer. Everything was shaking because he was shaking.
“Ryder I-I thought you left, you weren’t, I…” Rhys said. He knew it was Rhys, but all he saw was a giant that almost killed him and a hand coming closer and closer. How had it not reached him yet?
“I-I looked. You weren’t on him. I-I thought you were out or-or somewhere else. Ryder, Ryder are you… did we…” Felix this time. His hand was closer. They were going to grab him. They were going to kill him. They failed to make it look like an accident. It had to happen before Vitus stopped them. He couldn’t breathe. His eyes stung with tears.
“I said-” Bigger hands grabbed the ones reaching towards him. The two faces were pulled away from him. All he could see in front of him was the house he’d spent most of his life in. There was the sound of struggling behind him. It lasted until the door slammed open. “Leave!”
The door slammed again and he was left in silence. Ryder couldn’t stop shaking, still couldn’t breathe. Heavy steps echoed in the emptiness. Steps never sounded like this before. The steps were heavier than he was used to. Vitus… Vitus was putting all of his weight into every step. The giant among giants was always softening his steps, but Ryder had no idea until today.
The man came into view, blocking out all of the light Ryder had adjusted to. He waited, the image in front of him blurring and shaking constantly. When it shifted he nearly screamed, but it still wouldn’t escape his throat. Vitus sat down, his weight hitting the ground made Ryder bounce. A deep sigh made the scream he’d been unable to produce escape as a wheeze.
“Ryder,” Vitus whispered. He couldn’t remember a time he heard the man speak so quietly. He didn’t want to die when this would be his goodbye. He would prefer yelling, something to make him feel like a fool for thinking he had a family. “Ryder, can you look at me?”
Ryder hadn’t even noticed he’d stopped looking. He turned up to face the man he still considered a father. The man had tears running down his face. He’d never seen Vitus crying before. Even when Dabria had been kidnapped he never cried around them. The massive hands came to hover near him. They didn’t grab him.
“Son, just take a deep breath, try to calm down,” Vitus whispered. Ryder tried, each breath hurt. His eyes hurt too. He couldn’t hear his own thoughts. Everything in his mind and heart screamed to run. To get away from everyone who might possibly kill him. From the people who thought he should have been given to any two humans and sent away. “Ryder, did they hurt you?”
Ryder had no idea if he was hurt. Everywhere was in pain and it grew as he stayed still. The blurring in his eyes was coming and going constantly.
“Ryder, I’m going to pick you up,” Vitus’s whisper terrified him. He didn’t want to be held. “We’re going to go to the office where the only one who can reach you is me. I’ll call a doctor and we’ll make sure you aren’t hurt. Ok?”
Ryder didn’t move. He didn’t agree, he couldn’t. The second those fingers wrapped around him he’d die. It didn’t matter who it was.
“I’m not going to touch you until you’re ready Ryder.” The hands hovering near him pulled back. He… he wasn’t getting grabbed. He started to breathe a little easier. Of course the giants he considered brothers almost killed him, he was just something fun until they had real family. They don’t need him anymore. “Son please, just try to take a deep breath.”
“N-n-not your s-son,” Ryder managed to stutter out. A heavy sigh washed over him. This is when it’ll happen. Now that he said it, Vitus would kill him.
“Of course you are.” That made him jump. It wasn’t true, it was a lie. He wasn’t. “You have been since Felix brought you here.”
Ryder shook his head. It wasn’t possible. He was brought as a victim or a toy. He wasn’t brought as a person they could see like that. Dabria hated him. She wanted him gone. Vitus barely liked him. They put up with him. Felix, Ryder, and Alessia cared, but two of them had just-
“Ryder, I know you’ve had doubts, but you’re my son. All the arguing you overheard when you came here was about how we could give you the offer to stay without trapping you. If it was right to put you in danger that way or if we should find reliable humans to send you to a safe town with,” Vitus knocked him from his thoughts. “Please, trust me. You’re my son and I love you.”
A hand was set in front of him. He was terrified. Someone could kill him, but all the giants here had protected him more than once. Trembling steps brought him up to the hand in front of him. He placed his hands on the palm, the palm that had killed another giant for him.
“I… I thought I might die,” Ryder whispered. He watched his tears hit the palm of his giant father. “I thought they just didn’t care.”
Vitus used his other hand to curl around Ryder. Ryder shivered, but leaned into the touch. He was scared and relieved all at once. The massive thumb started to rub his arm. He still wasn’t lifted up. Using all the courage he had he pulled himself onto Vitus’s palm and crawled to the center. Before he’d reached it the hand had been pulled close to the giant’s chest.
The rhythmic heartbeat calmed him down. Even more so once he realized it was racing. Long fingers curled around and hid him from the world. Ryder felt safe, despite all the fear he felt safe. It was easy to ignore the way everything responded to the movement of the giant holding him. The way the world seemed to shake as he moved. It wasn’t long before a giant door thumped shut followed by the click of a lock.
“No one else is coming in now, you’re safe Ryder,” Vitus whispered. The whisper on his back made tears flood his vision again. He really thought his brothers were going to kill him. That he’d just be a smear of blood and they wouldn’t ever notice. What would have happened if he tried to scream? If he tried to get their attention?
Those thoughts were pushed away as Vitus walked again. Ryder stared above him at the massive giant’s head bobbing with each step. The man who raised him, his father , still had tears dripping from his face. The fingers around him came closer, as if the entire world had to be kept at bay.
The creak of the chair when Vitus sat was reassuring. It was normal. They stayed in silence for some time before the chin he was watching tilted down. Green eyes filled with fear and worry, why would he be scared? Everything was fine. By the end of the day this would be forgotten… Just like should happen when a giant gets too rough around a human.
The hand around him tilted before pressing him against the firm chest. He wanted to reach up and grab the fabric. It was always calming, the giant’s clothes had changed after Ryder showed up. After he struggled with silk. Yet this time he couldn’t bring himself to move. He still felt that crushing pressure. The fear each time one of them shifted. The slam of each fist that inched his death just a little closer.
“I’m so glad you’re alive,” Vitus’s voice cracked. In all the years Ryder had lived here he never heard that. In one day he’d not only seen the stoic man crying, but heard his voice shattering. “I thought I was too late. That I’d realized too late those two were fighting. I thought we’d lost you.”
“I’m just a human,” Ryder bit his lip as the words slipped out. He hadn’t meant to say it, but it didn’t matter. He started it, he’d finish it. “You would have moved on, forgotten it in a few da-”
The growl from the chest in front of him cut him off. The eyes of fear turned angry. The hands grew tighter. This is what he was pushing for, what he was waiting for. This would be where they finally stopped this game with him and-
“You’re my son, their brother, and we all would have been devastated. If those idiots had hurt you none of us would have recovered any time soon.”
Ryder had learned over the years to read the tells when Vitus lied. An eye twitch, the smallest change in his voice. He had to. It was that or be terrified of his own father constantly. None of the tells, not a single one appeared with that statement. Somehow after all the reassurances, this was the one that sunk in. That he wasn’t just a human, a Kamia in name only. He was part of the real family, not the mafia one.
That broke what little composure he had. His hands gripped the cloth in front of him tightly. Tears broke out as he buried his face in his dad’s chest. He thought his brothers forgot about him, that they wouldn’t even care if he died. He was terrified of being found by them. He was scared of the best family he’d ever had .
The growl faded away as he cried. The hands increased their pressure, but it was comforting. A promise he was safe. He wasn’t sure he could even face his brothers after this, they had to come back at some point. There was too much to think about, too much about how close he came to dying.
“Is Ryder hurt?!” Dabria’s quiet voice echoed in the new silence. His dad didn’t speak, he didn’t know how the man reacted. He didn’t care, he didn’t want to face her. She’d blame him, she never wanted him here. Just because she was human now wouldn’t change- “Let me see him. Now!”
Ryder whined when the pressure around him weakened. More tears as he fell back onto the palm. He stared up at his dad. Tears were still a steady stream down the stoic face. All of this felt like a strange dream, maybe a nightmare. He didn’t want it to end by hearing what Dabria had to say. He could still hear her voice saying she knew he was a liability. She’d said it only a few days after his dad had killed a giant to save him.
Dabria pulled him tightly into a hug. He yelped, not expecting the action. That made her pull away and start tugging at his clothes. She pulled off his jacket, finding bruises Ryder hadn’t expected to have. He finally looked in her eyes, tears running down her face. Just like Vitus. The same fear, the same pain… the same worry about him.
“Vitus, call the doctor now!” she yelled. The hand they were on, the hand he hadn’t even realized they were on, twitched. She pulled him close again. Even now she was taller than him. “It’s ok, we’ll make sure you’re ok. You’re safe I promise.”
“I-” he started.
“Get Laura here now. Ryder needs a full check,” Vitus cut him off, Dabria’s hold on him tightened, “You call me as soon as she’s here. No giants are entering the main house until I say otherwise.”
“I didn’t think your own brothers would be a liability. I thought it was all taken care of after Vitus killed that man who tried to hurt you,” Dabria’s voice was quiet. She probably didn’t mean for him to hear her. “Maybe we were selfish to keep you with us. You’d be so much safer if we hadn’t decided to risk it.”
“...you wanted me to stay?” She pulled back, staring down at him. It was easy to forget she’d only just remembered her life. That there were things she still didn’t know. She remembered him, she remembered… she remembered meeting him. Letting him stay.
“Of course I did. The second I saw you I wanted to make sure you were safe. I thought… I thought we’d do that.” The tears on her face didn’t stop. “You’ll be ok though. If they hurt you at all we’ll take care of it. And… I don’t know, get a house to set up here where this can’t happen again.”
One of his dad’s fingers slid beneath his arm. The hand they stood on moved and he was face to eyes with the man. The green orbs that embodied fear studied him. A new growl slipped out, Da- his mom’s arms tensed around him.
“Those two aren’t allowed back here until you say it’s ok Ryder,” Vitus growled.
“It’s their home,” he whispered. His mom made him look at her. The fierce eyes that used to strike fear into the heart of any giant that faced them were locked on him.
“It’s your home as much as theirs,” she said. Ryder shook his head, but a giant finger appeared between him and his mom. It forced him to face the giant with tears slowly drying on his face.
“Ryder, you’re the priority right now those two-”
The words were cut off by a ringing phone. The fact that Vitus dropped everything to grab it made Ryder nervous. The man always ignored phones when he was talking. It was a power play, at least that’s what he was told.
“You’re here?” he asked. The fingers on the hand around him curled up. A low growl slipped from him, Dabria… his mom just ran her hand through his hair. She was trying to calm him, he knew she was terrified when they couldn’t control their growls. She… he’s an idiot. The phone clattered to the desk pulling Ryder from his realization.
“Dad? What’s going on?” Alessia’s voice came through the phone. “Rhys and Felix just showed up. Felix is crying and Rhys is on the floor with a bottle of vodka. Neither will tell me what happened.”
Somehow hearing that made him scared. They were upset, but was it because they might have hurt him or because he survived. He knew thinking this way was stupid, they weren’t going to do that. This family didn’t act like that, yet he couldn’t stop thinking that was the goal. Rhys completely forgot about him, Felix didn’t look or ask. That… they never used to be so impulsive.
“Is that dad?” Rhys’s voice echoed through. It was quieter, but he knew the giant was shouting. Crashes came from the phone. Ryder’s heart started to race. His breathing grew rapid. They terrified him. “Dad! Is Ryder ok? Did we hurt him?! I thought he left. I didn’t know. He doesn’t-”
“Rhys stop!” Felix’s shout made Ryder shiver. His mom’s arms around him tightened. It actually helped, knowing she was there. The fingers taller than them curled closer, hiding him from the world. “Dad? How bad is it? I-I wasn’t thinking. He wasn’t on Rhys I… I thought he-”
“Did you two hurt Ryder!?” Alessia’s shout was the loudest thing to come through the phone. Three voices argued on the other end. It was followed by a loud bang “Get out!” shouted by Alessia once more. There was silence, the towering fingers came closer and Ryder felt safer. These giants were his family… he was an idiot thinking they just kept him because he was useful. “Is… is Ryder ok?”
The fingers of the hand came close enough the heat from them was palpable. “We’re waiting on the doctor, he…” The fingers moved and the worried green eyes were on him. The pause lasted long enough Ryder realized it was a silent question. He nodded. “He looks alright, but your mom and I are going to make sure.”
“OK, good, good. Let me know if he would want me there ok? I can come home if he’d feel better with another giant around. Only if he wants, ok? If you have me on speaker, Ryder just let me know. I’ll keep those idiots away too.”
“Alessia!” Rhys’s voice starting again made him reach up to the towering finger. His fingers dug into the skin. The low growl that had only been present for him and his mother grew louder. “Just tell us-”
“Let me know, I’ll deal with them. Bye!” There was a clatter from the phone, but the line didn’t cut. He could hear the mumbling voices from his brothers. “No! Get out. We talked about if you two fight when he’s not in sight. You still did it! We all agreed to be careful. He’s always with one of you and you two almost-”
His dad cut the line. The fingers over him didn’t move until he let go. They flattened, his mother rubbed his back. His family cared, they’d make sure he was ok. Everyone had been worried. They’d thought of it before. This one… this one was a mistake. The fear he felt was already dying. He wouldn’t be sleeping on his brothers’ chests for a while, but the idea of seeing them already felt better.
The hand he was on moved. His mother shifted a bit as they were carried up from the desk. The two were held tightly to the massive chest that had comforted him for so many years. His mom kept calm movements and he finally registered soft promises from her. The damp feeling on his cheeks hit him with the realization he was crying again.
His parents would keep him safe. They’d make sure this never happened again. His brothers would be back in a few days and then he’d deal with that. For now he was going to accept the one stupid impulse driven fight finally locked in that his family did want him around.