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It's not as obvious when they're up on stage performing, no one would have ever guessed that any of them were especially quiet. Who would have thought there was a member who didn't quite like being the center of attention? They were rising stars, of course this is what they wanted! Wasn't it?
Kihyun knew, and so did all the other members, that Changkyun was the quiet member. They all knew when they got back to the dorm that Changkyun wasn’t going to be talkative, unless he was in a really good mood, which happened but was very rare. They all knew that when coming home after a win that his smiles were equivalent to the other’s cheering. They all knew he was...well...quiet.
However, Kihyun knew more.
He knew that there was a difference between Changkyun’s quietness. There were quiet days when Changkyun was just being Changkyun and then there were quiet days where only Kihyun knew something was wrong. The way Changkyun’s lips were slightly turned down meant he was over thinking something. On these days, Kihyun would distract him by dragging him to the practice room or out to eat at his favorite restaurant.
On quiet days where Changkyun didn’t get out of bed on a free day, Kihyun knew this meant he wasn’t feeling well. Unlike the other members who subconsciously thought that was just the way Changkyun wanted to spend his day, Kihyun knew and would take his temperature and bring him some cold medicine; just to be safe.
On quiet days where Changkyun was first up and practicing, Kihyun knew this meant he was having a good day and would celebrate with him in little ways. Like buying them bubble tea or making someone else do the laundry, even if it was Changkyun’s job.
Kihyun knew. He knew all the different types of quiet that Changkyun showed. It wasn’t like the other members didn’t care, they just never picked up on it. And sometimes that thought made Kihyun feel happy, proud even. He was doing a good thing, being a good hyung. Helping in a way no one else could. It made Kihyun smile.
So when Kihyun came back from his usual run with Shownu and Changkyun was sitting in a new silence, he didn’t know what to do.
This wasn’t a, “I’m kind of tired today so I’m not gonna talk” silence. It wasn’t his usual, “I’m busy” silence. It was...A new kind of silence. Shownu left to take a shower and Hyungwon announced he was going to bed, the rest of the members followed shortly after.
Kihyun watched them file away to their rooms while he took off his shoes and grabbed a glass of water. Running with Shownu was like trying to keep up with a treadmill on its highest speed setting. Sometimes Kihyun thought he should run with someone who he could keep up with, like Minhyuk or Jooheon…
A weird feeling made Kihyun set his glass down and turn around. Changkyun was still sitting in the living room. Just...Sitting there, being oddly quiet.
Kihyun slowly walked over and sat down one cushion down from him.
“Changkyun?”
Changkyun snapped his head up, eyes wide like he hadn’t even seen Kihyun come over.
“O-Oh, yes hyung?” Changkyun asked, a slow blush rising to his cheeks. Kihyun squinted his eyes at him. This was not like him at all, this was very un-Changkyun.
Kihyun pulled his legs up and crossed his them onto the couch. “Aren’t you going to bed?” He asked. Changkyun looked around the room and Kihyun saw in his eyes that he hadn’t noticed that all the other members had left.
Yes. Very, very un-Changkyun. He was quiet, yes, but not unobservant.
“Um, I…” He trailed off and Kihyun had to reach over and tap his shoulder to get his attention again. Changkyun jolted at the touch. He retracted his hand and waited patiently for Changkyun to continue. Kihyun could tell he was having a quiet, “I have something to say but I don’t know how to say it” moment.
It felt like almost ten minutes had gone by before Changkyun spoke again, the light blush from earlier only seemed to be darker.
“Hyung, could I- Would you let me ...try something? There’s something I wanna see.”
Kihyun stared blankly at Changkyun for a moment before nodding his head slowly. “Sure.”
Changkyun licked his bottom lip and slid closer, not stopping until their knees bumped and their faces were mere inches apart. Kihyun felt his heart thumping and the blood being pumped to its fast rhythm. Changkyun moved his head forward slowly, so slowly that Kihyun let his eyes fall closed. He could feel Changkyun’s lip brush against his. He could smell his cherry flavored chap-stick and the cologne Kihyun knew belonged to Changkyun.
Kihyun held his breath and suddenly Changkyun was back on his side of the couch, stretching as if he’d just taken a nap rather than almost kissed his hyung.
Kihyun watched with an open mouth and what he was assuming was a very confused face, as Changkyun stood up and excused himself to his bedroom to sleep.
What ...just happened? Had anything happened at all? Did Kihyun just imagine all of that? Changkyun had just got up and walked out of the room after … that.
Kihyun went to bed, flustered, and still wondering what Changkyun was trying to see.