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Absinthe
Absinthe traditionally has a natural green color but can also be colorless. It is commonly referred to in historical literature as “la fée verte” (the Green Fairy). Although it is sometimes mistakenly called a liqueur, absinthe is not bottled with added sugar and is therefore classified as a spirit.
A Green Fairy Tale
Earth-138
“’Ell, this was a bloody brilliant un, eh Drummer?” Hobie Brown, better known as the Spider-Punk stretched as he watched this Lizard variant twitched in the cocoon he and Spider-Woman wrapped him in as she punched in the coordinates to get him back to his own world, particularly in front of NYPD HQ, all wrapped up with a nice webbed bow. “Wot’s da matta, luv?”
Spider-Woman aka Gwen Stacy blinked and shook her hooded head before glancing up at the Punk, before going back to punching the digital buttons on her goober. “Sorry, just… I have a problem with… Lizards…”
“Ah, oh ya, dat’s right, sorry, luv, had ‘e known bet ‘e could’ve got ya boyfriend to come instead,” Punk patted her shoulder, “Let’s get em home then we can get yew home to em, ya?”
“It’s fine, Hob, and he’s off in three… two… buh bye…” She pressed a button and the Lizard warped away to his own dimension. “Let’s get out of here.”
Hold up a second,” Something caught Hobie’s attention. “Did ye bring e’ry day outfit?”
“Just Miles’ jacket to wear over…” she followed his line of sight to a pub, “Oh… Oh no, no no no. no way. You can, but I’m going home.”
“so ‘hich home, luv? Ya Dad or Miles, eh?” Hobie grinned under his spiked mask. “Ya can ‘ave a few pints and crash wit Miles if ya bit tipsy, ow bout it?”
“You know I’m just Seventeen years old, right?” the top of one of the eyes of Gwen’s mask raised like an eyebrow.
“Number one, if ya old e’nuf to save the multiverse, ya old e’nuf to have a pint,” Hobie state counting off with fingers, “number two, our powers makes it harder for us to get pissed, but trust ol’ Hobie Brown, he knows a t’ing ‘r three.”
“I… I dunno, I mean… I did tell Miles I’d stop by and help with some of his homework so…” Gwen glanced toward the Pub.
“Just one bottle, luv, all Oi ask of ya, c’mon, w’at do ya say?” Hobie patted her shoulder, “it’ll be fun, Oi promise!”
“Just one bottle between us?” Gwen eyed him cautiously.
“Just one bottle b’tween us and we go our marry way,” Hobie nodded.
“Ok…” Gwen breathed and nodded.
“Tell me, luv, have you ever heard of the Green Fairy?”
--- two hours later, Earth 1610 ---
Miles Morales sat cross-legged on his bed working on his physics homework while listening to some music, bobbing his head along to the beat. He would have been done sooner but A fire across Brooklyn drew Spider-Man out to help save a few dozen lives, then a high speed chase, and now a nervous best friend who keeps glancing at his wrist goober for any sign of communication.
He knew Gwen could take care of herself, and she had Hobie helping with the dimension jumper. But something was putting him off balance and not at ease. Wasn’t a full spider sense attack but something wasn’t feeling right. Didn’t help as much as he did get along with Hobie the still unspoken history between him and Gwen still caused pangs of jealousy to rear itself in his mind. Things were a lot better between He and Gwen, they swore no more secrets and while it’s still had rocky moments, their friendship was on the rebound.
The problem tonight is she was supposed to be back over an hour ago. He contacted Nuave York and Margo said she simply was delayed and if anything happened and she needed back up, Miles would be the first to know.
But something still was bothering him. He was about to put another communication through to Margo when he felt the change in the air pressure that came before a portal opened. “About time…” He said glancing up seeing the colorful octagon opening up and awaited Gwen to gracefully flip down onto his bed beside him as she has done so many times the past year.
Miles gasped as Gwen landed face first with back arched to the point the heels of her feet dangled just over her head.
“GWEN?! ARE YOU OK?” Miles scrambled to help her sit upright.
“Miles!” Gwen smiled brightly with a giggle in her voice. “There you are my handsome man! What are you doing in a place like this?!”
Miles tilted his head and glanced around for a moment before looking back at her. “Gwen… we’re in my room.”
She squinted her eyes and looked around a moment before tilting her head at him. “So we are…”
“Gwen, you’re not acting like yourself… are you ok?” he asked, and she giggled slapping his arm.
“I’m as amazing as Miles is in the black spandex,” she then leaned over and cupped her hand over her mouth to whisper loudly, “But the most amazing thing is his butt, but shhhhh don’t say anything. He doesn’t know I check him out when I swing behind him.”
“What happened?” Miles asked cautiously.
“After we caught the bad guy, who was a lizard by the way, it made me sad, not cool,” Gwen said almost falling over but Miles caught her and helped her stay up right. “So Hobie talked me into going with him to a pub and have a drink. He said we’d just have one bottle but whoo it was strong. But it tasted like Licorice. Tasty…”
“You went drinking?” Miles’ eyes widened, “Gwen, you’re not old enough to drink."
Gwen’s face scrunched up in thought, “Didn’t you say E… Ein… Ei… that smart guy say age was relative?”
“Time is relative, Gwen…” Miles said, “not age…”
“Ohhhh…” Gwen nodded at him exaggeratedly, “My bad…”
“What did you drink?” Miles asked, catching her before she fell again.
“It was this green stuff…” Gwen tried to remember, “think Hobie said something about a fairy.”
“Oh shit, you drank Green Fairy?!” Miles gasped, remembering when his uncle took a shot of it and passed out immediately.
“Yup, Hobie said we need stronger stuff because our bodies mat… mata…mu… moooooo! I’m a cow haha!”
“Metabolism makes sense, but Gwen…” Miles caught her before she fell forward, “That was over kill! Especially if you’ve never drank anything before.”
“I’ve drunk before!” Gwen looked offended, “Bottled water, Dr Pepper, Coca-Cola, Chai Tea, but don’t tell Pavitr I called it that… oh! Also drank in the sight of Miles’ muscles in that suit. Mmm that was the tastiest one…”
“Uh thanks…” Miles said awkwardly, “Let me get you some water then… it might…” He stopped when Gwen slapped a hand firmly on his shoulder.
He looked back at her and she leaned forward, making direct eye contact and half way smiled to show the gap in her front teeth. “Gwen?”
“Hey.” She drawled.
“Did you just…” Miles looked down at her hand then back to her cloudy blue eyes, “No you didn’t…”
“I think you need to just lay down and sleep this off,” Miles pressed on, and tried to help her lay down in his bed. He gasped when she pulled him down beside her.
“I’ve been thinking, Miles,” She said, using her spider sticky fingers to hold him in place.
“Uh, Gwen?” Miles blinked in confusion.
“I said to myself, and I knew it was me, Miles,” She nodded knowingly, “Because I’m me.”
“Um, right…” Miles said, trying to squirm out of her grasp.
“You know Aprilday is so stinking cute?” She said, grinning at him.
“Mayday?” He corrected her.
“Her too,” She nodded and hiccupped, “I like babies. Do you like babies?”
“Um they’re ok, I guess, I uh, why are you asking?” Miles said, trying to distract her so she’d release her hold on his shirt.
“I had an idea,” She giggled, “It’s such a cool idea too. You will love it, I’m telling you. It’s awesome.”
“Ok…” He said, feeling a few fingers lose their grip.
“I think you need to put a baby in me, Miles!” She said loudly, and the air rushed from his lungs and his brain shut down.
RIPPPP!
“Miles?” Gwen blinked in confusion and lifted her hands to find what was left of Miles’ tee shirt still stuck to her fingers, “Your shirt broke?”
Miles held on to the wall of his room in the corner near the ceiling as he stared back at Gwen with wide eyes. “I’m … uh… I’m really flattered, but I think you had a little too much to drink tonight.”
“Oh I didn’t! it was just half a bottle at the most and it was fun!” Gwen pouted, “Don’t spoil my fun. Miles shouldn’t act like Miguel, Miles should act like Miles. He’s fun. Miguel is a jerk.”
“Gwen, why don’t you just … take a nap. We can talk about that… later…” Miles gulped loudly, “A lot later…” he added softly.
“But I don’t want to later, I want to now,” Gwen kicked her legs, “I want a baby. And as pretty as you are, Miles, the baby would be even cuter than Juneday!”
“Mayday…”
“Her too.”
Gwen struggled to get up and Miles dropped down to the floor just in time to catch her from falling flat on her face.
“Gwen, you need to lay down… that’s an… awful lot of alcohol…” He said slowly.
“Yea… I kinda don’t feel good…” Gwen hiccuped again. “Hey… Miles?”
“Yeah Gwen…” He said, as he eased her back toward the bed.
“I love you.”
Miles froze again, and looked into her eyes, they were cloudy with alcohol but were almost clear for a moment. “That’s the alcohol talking…”
“No, it’s me,” Gwen said softly, “I love you.”
“Gwen…” Miles started, but was cut off when she made a little gag, then projectile vomited all over his bare chest.
“Oh God…” Miles struggled to hold it together and hold the girl up.
“Goodnight…” She said, going limp in his arms.
He managed to get her in his bed, and once he was sure she was finally out cold, he made his way to his shower, thankful his parents were out for the evening.
---next morning ---
“Kill me…” Gwen groaned, pulling the blanket over her eyes. “Please… I’ve made a terrible mistake…”
“Oh you’re awake,” Miles whispered from the webbed hammock above her.
“Not … so… loud…” Gwen whimpered as he flipped out and landed on the floor.
“How are you feeling?” He asked softly.
“What part of kill me please didn’t you understand?” Gwen growled, “Oh god, my voice is so loud… I can’t do this…”
“Why are you in my room, Miles?” She whispered from under the blankets.
“I’m not, you’re in mine,” Miles responded.
“What?” She lifted her head, and was surprised to see a large thick blanket webbed over the windows.
“Here, take one of these, they’ll help with the headache, and the nausea…” He said offering her a hangover pill and bottled water.
She nodded and started to reach for it, “What nausea… oh my oh G-“ She threw her hand over her mouth, and Miles was already there, he had a trash can in one hand, helped her lean over the edge of the bed, then took her hair in his other hand and held it out of the way.
“Let it out, Gwen, just let it out,” He said soothingly as she vomited roughly, arching her back with each gagging hurl.
“Oh God… Miles just kill me, please,” Gwen was in near tears, “I think I may already be dead…”
“You’re not dead, Gwen, just dealing with probably the worst hangover imaginable,” Miles said, stroking her back soothingly. “Now try to take this pill, and drink the water slowly.”
She nodded and took the pill then slowly sipped the water. The cool drink felt so good on her rough throat.
“OK, now drink some of this also slowly, it’s hot…” He said bringing a cup of coffee from his desk. “Here, let me help…”
Gwen nodded and let him hold the coffee cup to her and she slowly sipped.
“Uh, it’s straight black?” She asked and winced at the noise level of her voice.
“Yeah, the caffeine will help the headache, but we need more water. You’re probably dehydrated,” Miles said, grabbing another bottle water.
“How do you know all this?” She asked, letting him help her sip the water.
“Uncle Aaron,” Miles said sadly, “There was … a few times I happened to catch him drunk or hung over. I wanted to help, so he taught me how to deal with it.”
“I don’t deserve you, Miles…” she whispered half leaning on him.
Her blurry eyes finally fell on his clock, and widened. She sat up too fast and almost fell over, “Miles, school!”
“It’ll be all right,” He said, “You’re more important. I can deal with a missed day. I’m not leaving you till you’re good. Get me?”
“Miles…” She breathed, and throwing her hand over her mouth. Miles helped her into the position.
“Let it out, Gwen, let it out, you’re good…” He said as she continued to hurl. “You’re good…”
“I’m going to murder Hobie…” She wheezed, “I’m going to shove his guitar so far up his ass he’ll be able to sing the instrumental of Freebird…”
“So, what have we learned today?” Miles asked softly.
“That you’ll skip school if I’m sick?” She joked, and Miles gave her a stern look. “Hobie is an asshole that I don’t need to listen to?”
“Go on?” Miles pressed, but still kept his hand on her back incase another wave of nausea hit.
“You have some amazing talents?” Miles gave her another look after a short eyeroll. “I have no business drinking alcohol…”
“There we go, that’s my girl…” Miles winked, and she wouldn’t admit it but she liked when he referred to her as such.
“I… didn’t say anything too embarrassing did I?” Gwen asked, and when she saw Miles glance away and blush, “Oh God, I showed you my boobs… didn’t I? I did… I showed you my boobs…”
“You didn’t flash me, Gwen!” Miles shook his head, “Let’s go get you a cold shower, that’ll help too…”
“Let’s?” Gwen cocked an eyebrow as he helped her to her feet, both trying to hide their blushes.
“I mean, I… uh… I’ll get it going, it can be tricky, and I’ll wait outside if you need me,” Miles stammered, “That’s what I meant, yeah, that’s it.”
“Miles,” Gwen said as she let him help her out of the room.
“Yea?” He asked his best friend.
“Thank you for helping me…” she whispered as he closed the door behind them.
The End