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ONE
Akito hates sunflowers. He hates the color of their petals, the way they followed the sun's light, the way they smelled. Nobody knew why, except for Akito and he doesn't plan on sharing.
An explained to anybody who was curious.. that he was just strange like that. Because in truth, she too didn't understand his hatred towards such a beautiful flower. She just couldn't. It was her favorite kind of flower. He accepted that she'd never understand.
Despite despising sunflowers, the young man is seen strolling in a sunflower field. The flowers were in full bloom, especially in the summer, where the sun shined the most. Its rays brightened and heightened its beauty. But why? Why did he visit a place that he should theoretically hate? Even Akito doesn't know the answer to that question, but right now, all he wants is some peace of mind. The sun moves out of view, partially covered by a cloud. He glanced down at the flowers and closed his eyes for a single, quiet moment. The heat returns.
But, this is not a tale about Shinonome Akito, and he knew that.
TWO
Kamishiro Rui fell in love slowly, painfully.
It started with a few glances, a few lingering stares. He saw an orange-haired guy at the cafeteria one day, and inquired for his name. Tsukasa introduced him, as he apparently had a friend who was well acquainted with the guy. His name was Akito. Akito, the name of Autumn. The way his name rolled off his tongue, he wanted to say it over and over again. Akito. At first, it was nothing but an innocent crush. 'He's considered good-looking by societal norms.' He justified after Nene pointed it out. She reluctantly accepted the answer, but he could tell there was doubt in those eyes.
Simple admiration from afar wasn't enough, so he ended up actually speaking with him. Whenever he walked by, he mustered a hello, and the other would answer back with a hi as they passed each other. Sometimes it even develops into a conversation, although its rare that his presence is tolerated by the younger for very long. He heard from Toya that he and Tsukasa were nicknamed oddball 1 and 2 by Akito, and he didn't mind being called such a nickname, even thought it was a little adorable.
He couldn't remember exactly when it started. Maybe when they went as a group to get ice cream, and he left his wallet at home, so Akito paid for his. Or at school, when he somehow managed to bring up a topic that Akito enjoyed talking about and he went on for hours. Rui watched and listened as he rambled, wearing a tender smile on his face. Or it could've been some other instance between them in the past. Whichever it could be.. it brought him to this.
Akito's small physical touches leave him wanting more, and shivers went down his spine whenever he leaned in to whisper something about his weird classmates. There was a want, always pulling at his heart whenever he came near. Throwing off his supposed calm and rational demeanor for something more uneasy, for something more unpredictable. It was addicting. But when he finally realized it.. was when he saw a mesmerizing sight. His smile.
The way that he swore his heart beat right out of his chest and the giddy feeling in his stomach causes him to come to a realization. Was he.. in love?
Because it was an innocent crush. It was for a little while. It wasn't anything more. It eventually stopped being merely a crush. It became a longing, and a yearning. It became something he thought about every passing evening. It became something he was excited about. Nervous about. It was sweet as honey. It was gut-wrenching. There was no denying the feeling. Love.
Even he, the great alchemist, couldn't break free from love's hold.
He was in love with Shinonome Akito.
THREE
There was euphoria to discovering this fact, sure. He understood how he felt now, and that was satisfying. He lived with it, thinking about the chances of his feelings being reciprocated. Akito must at least somewhat enjoy being around him, right? Even though he denied it. Although, he didn't think much of it as much as the next person did.
He should've known this would happen.
A morning happened like usual. He'd wake up bright and early for school, greet his parents and eat breakfast at the table. Leave the house. Catch the bus. Arrive at school. He'd chat a bit with his circle of friends, that he is truly grateful to have by his side. The bell rings, and class officially began. The first two periods of the day went by smoothly, but on the third, he was feeling strangely nauseous and had an itch in his throat. Not wanting to embarrass himself, he excuses himself and headed quickly into the male restroom. He opened up the stall, and a painful cough wracked through his body. Something fell into the toilet bowl, but it wasn't bile. He coughed one or two more times, feeling liquid drip from his lips. Thinking it's nothing but saliva, he wiped a tissue over his mouth. His eyes widened as he stared at the piece of tissue in his hand.
Red. Crimson red.
He looked down into the bowl, and the water was the same shade. The smell of iron filled the air. A few yellow petals floated in the liquid. He opened the door to the stall and took a good look at the mirror. Blood was on his lips. He touched it, as if to make sure it was real, and looked at his own finger. It was stained red. This was real. What was going on?
Rui sucked in a breath, trying to calm himself. The teacher would likely have her suspicions if he wasn't back at the classroom in a couple of minutes. He needed to move faster. Shaking his head, he flushed the bowl full of blood and petals, wiping the rest of his lips with tissue. He seemed all better, in the mirror, at least. Presentable. He retuened to the classroom and acts as if nothing happened. He sat down on his chair. He couldn't focus on the lesson. Not when a thousand thoughts were circling his mind all at once.
Once the school day had ended, he approached his friends as usual (of course, he didn't want to worry them or anything) and they hung out after school. He arrives back at home and hurried up into his room. The first thing he did was turn on the laptop and search the symptoms he experienced earlier today. He clicked on the article that seemed the most accurate. He scrolled and scrolled..
Until he found it. Hanahaki.
He's heard of the disease before.
As he scrolled further to get the details, he comes to a stop upon reading something. Hanahaki disease is often caused by unrequited love. It said. Unrequited love. His lips curled into a small smile. Ah, no wonder.
Akito didn't return his feelings after all. He should've known. Why would he have feelings for the strange inventor, who had nothing but eccentric ideas to share? He wasn't someone very attractive, nor was he the smartest person alive. Silly him for thinking that they ever had a future.
He read through the symptoms. There weren't much, just that he would be coughing out both flowers and blood regularly, no big deal. He scrolled and skimmed. No treatment, other than the person returning your feelings. The eventual effect is death from flowers clogging in the patient's lungs. There is a way to surgically remove the disease, although that would result in the loss of romantic feelings. He doesn't consider the surgery for a second. Rui leaned back in his seat. A day that was supposed to be normal and unlike any other.. became the day he contracted a deadly disease. He tried to surf the web for a cure, but there was none to be found. Instead, he stumbled across news articles regarding Hanahaki patients. Less than 50% of them took the surgery. He pursed his lips.
This was a problem.
At first, the symptoms were mild. He'd only cough once or twice a day, and it was easy to hide from his family and friends. Exams were approaching, and so he didn't want to burden them with the news. He studied diligently for them, as usual.
But then, as time flew by, his symptoms gradually got worse. His coughing fits were longer, there were more petals, it got a little hard to breathe. And it happened more often, so his closer friends began to notice his strange behavior. He had to excuse himself multiple times during conversations, and makes various excuses for each one. He coughed into the bowl, cleaned it up, and headed back. It's become routine.
On one of those days, as he speed walked to Tsukasa, he was stopped by a hand on his shoulder. He turned around and saw a familiar head of gray green hair, her face a rare expression of worry. "What's up with you lately?" She questioned and glanced up and down at him. He shrugged. "What do you mea–?"
"Don't play dumb with me!" She immediately cuts in and blinks, realizing how loud she said it. She shrinked back and whispered. "Tsukasa might not notice, but I do. There's no way you need to use the restroom THAT often, nor do you always have to hand in missing homework." Her brows furrowed. "Rui, I've known you long enough to know."
"It's really nothing." He, admittedly, feels guilty, but he still can't say it. He swiftly walked off without another word, not letting her answer. She doesn't chase after him.
FOUR
Rui didn't think his condition would worsen in such a short amount of time. He called in absent and stayed in bed for a whole day because he couldn't stop coughing. He ignored the calls of Nene, Tsukasa and Emu. Even Mizuki. More and more yellow petals spilled out of his throat, covering the bathroom floor. His parents showed their concern, and he shared about his condition to them at last. They urged him to get the surgery, and he said he will think about it, but he knew he wasn't going to.
He then stopped attending school altogether, the state of his body was too weak. He hasn't seen Akito in weeks. It hurts. Inside and out. But he's okay with dying, if it means keeping these feelings. Nene visited from time to time to keep him company, and Mizuki did too. He still received calls from both Emu and Tsukasa. He got a concerned text from Toya. Rui's eyes lit up when he got a text from Akito. Get well soon. It said, and he likely didn't know of what disease he had. Just then, he coughed, blood spilling onto the bed from his tainted lips. He was barely keeping himself awake and breathing. He laughed at his pitiful state, and sighed, wiping the blood off with his arm. A small tear flowed down his face.
He was nearing the end.
As he laid in bed, Rui thought about what the afterlife would be like. Will there be angels waiting for him at the pearly gates, or will he be thrown deep into the pits of Hell? Or maybe that wasn't like the afterlife at all. Maybe he would be reincarnated into another life. Maybe death is just a dark void of nothingness. But maybe there was a heaven that exists.. a heaven that had all his desires beyond its boundary.. maybe that was just wishful thinking. Well, whatever death was like, he was bound to find out soon enough, wouldn't he?
He coughed loudly, and another set of petals and blood stained his bedsheets. This was the fate he resigned to. Did he live a good life?
He does wonder.
In the end, all he wishes for is for everyone to move on peacefully. He wishes Nene would become the singer she dreamed of becoming ever since the two were children. He wished that his parents can go on to live a long, happy life, even if that is without him. He muttered an apology to them. He wished that Mizuki would open that fashion store of theirs in the near future. He wished that Tsukasa and Emu will continue making people smile with their performances. Most of all, he wishes for Akito (the one that he wished he could've spent more time with) to have a good life, and to find a partner suited for him. He deserved someone better than him, anyway.
He needs to wish while he still can.
FIVE
Nene is the first to receive an alarming text the following day. Rui says its his intuition, and he guesses that he'll be dying very soon. He's been coughing all morning and the blood were in larger amounts. He feels his lungs clogging up and tightening when he attempted to breathe normally. They were blocked by something.. the flower petals. His parents were still out. School had still been going on. Yet, she finds herself bolting out of that place. Her friend was dying. She had to do something.
"It's Hanahaki." Rui declared with a grin, constrasting his friend's solemn look. "Unrequited love."
Nene crossed her arms and lowered her head. "Akito doesn't like you back?" She says, as if she doesn't already know the answer.
"No. Maybe it's for the better." He said casually, his smile unwavering as ever.
"But you could die.." She reasoned.
"I can't force him to like me, silly."
She reaches for her phone and dials Akito's number.
…
Akito has been a mess of his emotions lately. The more Rui stayed at home and didn't come to school, the more he felt like there was something missing. It felt off, and it was bothering him for the past couple of weeks. As much as he hated to admit it, he was starting to miss the weirdo's presence. Toya said he was sick, but for this long? What kind of a sickness did he have, anyway? No one Rui knew felt like talking. It just spelled bad news to him. Maybe it's better that he didn't know what was going on, and maybe it's fine to ignore his thoughts about Rui.
But the more he tried to ignore it, the more he's bothered. The universe hates him.
He inquired An about the topic, and she immediately got all smug about it. She had a smirk on her face that he desperately wanted to slap off her, but he held back. She offered a few words of unhelpful advice: 'just tell him how you feel!' did not explain what he was feeling whatsoever. He decides that he should ask somebody else for help. He ordered a coffee and sat down at a table in WEEKEND GARAGE, only this time, Ken himself approached him. Akito figured this interaction was a suggestion of An's, but Ken likely gave better advice when it came to this, since he's more experienced.
"Hey, kiddo, just a hunch, but.. have you ever thought that you were in love?"
Love..?
That's ridiculous. He didn't love Kamishiro, that strange guy who loves launching people into space. Surely, he had better standards? His face was one of utter disbelief. There was no way.
"I'm not sure if that's what you've been feeling, but based on what An described to me, it's possible.
His own idol was saying this to him. That had to mean something.
Was he.. actually in love with him? His head was spinning. Is that what it feels like? Of all people..
He doesn't expect to receive a call a few days later, frantically telling him that the guy that he just realized he was in love with.. was going to die.
Huh?
Before he knew it, his body had reacted. He got a taxi to drive to the address that was sent to him and restlessly waited in the vehicle, wondering if any of this was reality. Everything happened too fast for him to comprehend. He felt nauseous, lightheaded and dizzy. He had to say something to him. Anything.
Time is something one should appreciate, but at the moment, all he wants is for it to stop.
The taxi drops him off at the location, and he saw the door open, so he let himself in. He could hear the faint sound of crying that seemed to have come from upstairs. Akito had a terrible feeling, and his instinct was telling him to leave while he can, but why would he follow that? He followed the sound upstairs and came across a door. The crying was coming from inside.
No, no no nononononono.. this wasn't happening.
The worst mistake of his life. He opened the door.
Shinonome Akito was too late.
Beside the bed was the source of the crying. The one who called him here. Kusanagi Nene. She looked miserable, and he slowly pried his eyes over to the main event.
Blood dripped from the sheets onto the wooden floorboards. A body laid on top, a head of purple and pale skin, devoid of warmth. His eyes were closed and his lips were curved into a peaceful smile. He felt his knees give out, and he fell on the floor, kneeling upright. He lifted his head, and beside the corpse was a single sunflower, stained in crimson blood. He couldn't talk, he couldn't speak, he couldn't say a word. He was gone.. forever.
Just like that, the universe takes from him.
He closed his eyes, and swallowed the lump in his throat. The last thing he felt was the sensation of a wetness in his eyes. He was too late. Always too late.
…
Akito hates sunflowers.
Not for their shape, their size, the way that they follow the sun's rays wherever it goes, but because they remind him of that day. The day that he lost him.