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Maria sighed as she looked at what was left of the liquid in the glass in front of her before picking it up and knocking back the rest. She closed her eyes as she felt the liquid burn down her throat. At least she was slowly getting used to the burn with every drink she took. As she placed the glass back on the table she kept her eyes closed as she began to savour the burn and took a few seconds to focus on the relative silence. Only the slight hum of engines filled the space around her. Opening her eyes Maria looked at the room she was in. The sub's mess hall was sparsely decorated, much like the rest of the boat, filled with long tables and chairs with a single serving gallery off to the side. Originally looking for a quiet place to think she was surprised to find an unopened bottle of vodka and a few glasses in a cabinet. Maria had barely drunk before, but given what she had gone through in the past three months she figured she could use one. One turned into two, and as she lifted the bottle to fill the glass again, two turned into three. Taking a small sip this time Maria thought back to the past three months.
Since herself, Kirika, and Shirabe had been taken into custody following the frontier incident they'd spent their time retelling their story to government officials while being surround by white walls day in and day out. For three months Second Division had been campaigning hard to have them released into their custody pending a decision on the punishment, but their captors had not budged. Maria took another sip of the hard alcohol in front of her. Probably had the Americans to thank for that. They had been made an embarrassment throughout the whole thing and this was probably their way to regain a little pride by forcing the three of them to stay in captivity.
But that wasn’t the full reason why Maria was finding companionship with alcohol tonight. No she was drinking because of the deal she had recently been offered: Give up every freedom and power you might have to protect others, become our idol puppet, and Kirika and Shirabe walk free. It was the only deal she would be given. Maria took another sip from the glass. For what reason did she make it back alive from fighting Nephilim if it meant living a life like that? She had meant for her sacrifice to mean something. This took away every chance she had at making amends, at honouring Serena's memory, and using her song to help those in need. But it would mean Kirika and Shirabe would have a chance at a happy life.
Maria knew deep down it was a deal she would have to take. The only reason she was drinking in this room now was because the Commander had pulled in nearly every favour he had to get the three of them released for a day to give them a chance to celebrate Mom's return and the shuttle's safe recovery with the other gear users. Seeing the joy Shirabe and Kirika had interacting with the other gear users and how quickly they returned to their old happy selves made her realize she had no choice in her decision.
Maria let out another sigh as she took a larger sip and looked at her surroundings again while the alcohol dimly burned down her throat. She idly wondered what it was like when it was filled with people. As it was now the quietness and loneliness the room provided was almost deafening.
“Maria?”
A clear voice sounded out from behind her snapping Maria out of her thoughts. She turned around in her chair and was met with the blue haired Symphogear user standing at the door.
“Tsubasa?”
“I was wondering where you went. I noticed you were missing from the group.” Tsubasa smiled as she slowly walked into the room.
“Ah.” Maria found herself smiling as well as Tsubasa approached. She was happy to be distracted from her thoughts by the fellow gear user. “Were you sent to go find me?”
“No.” Tsubasa let out a small laugh. “Everyone is too engrossed with the movie Yukine brought that's a little too much for my tastes.” Tsubasa walked around and pulled out the chair in front of Maria. “When I noticed you had slipped out I decided to see where you went. Mind if I join you?”
Maria nodded her head as Tsubasa sat down across from her.
“What are you drinking?” Tsubasa fixed Maria with a curious stare as she raised her glass for another drink.
Realizing she had been caught Maria averted her eyes as she answered her. “Just something I found lying around in the cabinet.” She hoped Tsubasa's curiosity would stop there but the blue haired girl had already picked up the bottle and was reading its label.
“Vodka?” Tsubasa fixed Maria with a pointed state.
Sighing Maria just nodded her head. She couldn’t hide it at this point. “I…I really needed a drink.” Maria stared at her glass as she told the truth. Looking up again she was surprised to see Tsubasa was no longer in her seat. Instead she was walking back to the table with a glass in her hand. Maria didn’t know what to say as Tsubasa sat back down and the two sat in silence for a few seconds.
“You know you probably shouldn’t be drinking alone, Maria.” As Tsubasa went to pour herself a glass Maria felt her mouth drop in surprise. “I mean the Commander would be upset and it probably breaks your temporary release conditions being alone like this.” Tsubasa quickly continued on with her explanation.
Ah. So that was why. Maria felt another thought creep into her head, one of disappointment at that answer, and she quickly tried to get it out. She stared at her own half-filled glass as she heard Tsubasa pour her own. She blamed the alcohol for making her mind wander like this. After they became fast friends she felt comfortable whenever she was around Tsubasa, and in the three months of captivity the small moments they shared when the three other gear users came to visit became the highlight of her days.
“Cheers?” Tsubasa had raised her glass toward Maria.
“Cheers.” The small clink of their glasses sounded throughout the room. Keeping her eyes on Tsubasa Maria saw a flash of hesitation stretch across her face. But before she was able to comment on it Tsubasa had quickly downed her glass in one go.
“H-Hey Tsubasa! Don’t drink it that fast!” Maria tried to stop her but it was too late. Tsubasa had already forced the liquid down her throat as her face twisted trying to keep it down. A few more seconds passed and Tsubasa slowly opened her eyes.
“Tha-that was disgusting.” Tsubasa looked at her glass in disgust. Maria felt a giggle bubble up inside of her. It wasn’t long until she fell onto the table laughing wildly.
“Maria? Why are you laughing?!” A blush had spread across Tsubasa's cheeks. Maria looked up at Tsubasa and was barely able to catch her breath to speak.
“These aren’t shot glasses. You’re not supposed to down them in one go like that. And it’s hard vodka, of course it’s disgusting.” Maria slowly caught her breath as her laughter subsided and she smiled back at Tsubasa. She couldn’t remember the last time she had laughed like that. She was already feeling in better spirits than she had been all month.
“Sorry.” Tsubasa sheepishly replied.
“Don’t be apologizing to me. You’re the one that will end up paying for that.” Maria pushed herself off the table and stretched her arms and back out. She still wasn’t used to being in a straitjacket, and although they weren’t done up 24/7 Maria missed being able to stretch out like this. Letting out a satisfied sigh Maria focused on Tsubasa again, noticing that the girl had her eyes fixated on her but not on her face.
“Tsubasa? You okay?” Tsubasa quickly brought her eyes up to Maria’s face as the blush spread further across her face.
“S-Sorry.” Tsubasa stammered out another apology.
“For what?” Maria inquired as she filled Tsubasa’s glass again. “And don't drink this one as fast.” Tsubasa nodded in agreement as she took a small sip this time. Maria kept her eyes trained on the other girl and watched her face as she fought to keep the hard liquor down again. Still staring Maria noticed how the dim light in the room fell on Tsubasa's face, and how her sharp indigo eyes seemed to pierce through despite the lack of light. It was beau-
“Maria?” This time it was Tsubasa’s turn to shake Maria out of her thoughts. Not knowing what to reply she took another drink from her glass.
“So how's the preparation for London going?” Maria decided on an easy topic after a few moments of silence. The two continued talking like this for some time. They nursed their drink as they became preoccupied with the conversation. They talked about world events to the proposal for Second Division to be made into a new organization under the U.N to the latest career news for singers. Conversation had always come easy to the two of them. Tsubasa was eager to hear Maria’s input on her ideas and on different events, and Maria found herself thinking how adorable it was when Tsubasa got excited talking about singing.
Stifling off a yawn Maria looked at the clock. 1:55 A.M. “Hmm. Wonder how we haven’t been found yet.”
Tsubasa let out a small laugh and nodded at Maria. “We should probably head back.” Maria nodded in agreement. As Tsubasa made a move to stand Maria noticed the girl seemed a bit unsteady getting out of her chair. Suddenly she watched Tsubasa lose balance when she pushed forward off her feet.
“Tsubasa!” Maria cried out as she made a move to support Tsubasa. But her right foot got caught on the table leg as she tried to get around. Grabbing onto Tsubasa’s shoulders Maria felt both her own body lose balance as her leg was caught, and then the weight of Tsubasa as she fell forward and was pulled down by Maria’s arms. Maria fell backwards landing on the floor and ended up cushioning Tsubasa's fall, who ended up on top of her straddling her waist.
“Ahhhh…are you okay?” Maria slowly rubbed the back of her head that hit the floor and looked up at Tsubasa sitting on her hips.
“I think so.” Tsubasa replied. The two stayed like that, breathing heavily, not knowing what to say about their position as they stared into each other’s eyes. Eventually Tsubasa made the first move and started to push off from her knees.
“Tsubasa wait.” Maria's hands quickly flew to Tsubasa’s thighs in an attempt to keep her there.
“Maria?”
“Kiss me.” The words were out of her mouth before her brain was able to stop them. She kept her eyes trained on Tsubasa. She knew she wasn’t thinking right. But now that she had asked she wanted it badly.
“Umm…” Tsubasa let out a shaky breath.
“Kiss. Me.” Maria continued on.
“Maria…” Tsubasa's eyes slowly escaped Maria’s gaze and looked off to the side. “I can’t.”
“Oh.” The rejection hit Maria hard. Her mind began to race. What was she thinking? There was no guarantee that Tsubasa returned whatever feelings she maybe had for her. She had no idea if Tsubasa was already seeing someone. Why did she ask for it in the first place when she wasn’t ready to be rejected like this? Maria tried to keep her emotions from playing across her face but failed as she clamped her eyes closed and turned her head to the side. Tsubasa immediately saw the emotion on Maria’s face.
“No! Maria wait I didn’t mean it like that!”
What? Maria forced herself to drag her head around to look at Tsubasa.
“I mean...uh- I mean we shouldn’t.”
“I…I see.” Maria felt the second rejection even crueler as the girl on top of her played with her hopes.
“But it’s not that I don’t want to! I do want to kiss you!” Tsubasa cried out.
Wait, what? Maria felt her face form in confusion. Could this girl just make up her mind? Tsubasa had quickly put her hand over her mouth in an attempt to stop any more words from spilling out. Maria smirked as she realized the girl was experiencing what it was like to have alcohol force the truth out of you.
“So you do want to kiss me, but you won’t kiss me?” Maria tilted her head as she asked.
“I wil-no I mean I-…ahh fine!” Tsubasa struggling to find her words was a rare occurrence, and completely adorable Maria decided as she watched at her.
“Then kiss me right now.” Maria commanded the Ame no Habakiri user. Tsubasa slowly and apprehensively leaned forward halfway down to Maria. Maria kept her head on the ground. She knew she shouldn’t play games but the idea of making Tsubasa work for it was enticing. Maria grinned like a cat as she watched Tsubasa realize she wasn’t going to meet her halfway. Maria tried to keep her breathing under control as she felt Tsubasa’s hair gently fall against her shoulders as Tsubasa paused mere inches above her mouth, hesitating.
“Tsubasa…” Maria let out a soft breath, wishing Tsubasa would hurry up and close the distance. She closed her eyes as she saw Tsubasa begin to move again. Soon she felt timid lips press flatly against her own for a few seconds, and then suddenly the sensation was gone before she even got a chance to really register it. Maria opened her eyes and was greeted with Tsubasa sitting upright again, head turned off to the side, her face redder than ever.
“…Tsubasa? What was that?” Maria started to doubt if she had even actually felt that kiss.
“What do you mean what was that? That was a kiss wasn’t it? Like they do in the movies.” Tsubasa still refused to look at Maria.
“In the movies? What? …Wait.” The realization began to dawn on Maria. “Tsubasa.” Maria pushed herself upright slightly onto her elbows. “Have you ever actually kissed someone before?”
Maria got an unintelligible grumble as a response.
“Tsubasa.” Maria stated more firmly as she fully pushed herself upright. “Look at me.” Tsubasa grudgingly turned her head forward, her face close enough to Maria’s to make out the scent of alcohol on her breath. “Was that your first kiss?”
Tsubasa’s mouth opened and closed multiple times as Maria watched her try to formulate a response. Despite having her face so close to Maria’s she still hadn’t moved her eyes to meet Maria’s gaze. Eventually Tsubasa settled on a single quiet word. “…Yes.”
“I see.” Maria replied, copying the same quiet tone. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Because…because I wanted to kiss you and you looked so upset when I said no so I didn’t know what else to do. I didn’t want to disappoint you by telling you I couldn’t because I haven’t kissed anyone before.” Tsubasa drunkenly rambled on, laying everything out for Maria. Alcohol seemed to work wonders for getting the stubborn girl to open up and admit things.
Maria felt her heart skip a few beats at Tsubasa’s declaration. “So you’re fine with me being your first kiss?”
“Yeah.” Tsubasa nodded in response. “I'm sorry it wasn’t what you were expecting.”
“Then in that case let’s just pretend it never happened.” Maria's remark made Tsubasa’s eyes jolt to her face.
“But M-” Tsubasa’s words were cut off as Maria rested a hand on her cheek.
“And how about we make your first kiss one to remember?”
Maria watched as Tsubasa’s mouth opened in surprise, and close again as she nodded in agreement. Taking a deep breath, and determined to make good on what she said, Maria pulled Tsubasa’s face forward into a gentle kiss. She began to move her mouth against Tsubasa’s lips, encouraging the girl to follow her lead. Slowly Tsubasa started to pick up on her cue as Maria felt her start to kiss back. As she got more and more into it Tsubasa wrapped her arms around Maria’s neck. Letting out a hum of approval Maria opened her eyes to look at the girl in front of her. Tsubasa’s eyes were completely closed and her mouth was beginning to beg for more. Maria wrapped her right arm around Tsubasa’s back to pull her in closer while her left hand snaked around into Tsubasa’s hair as she deepened the kiss. Tsubasa moaned into Maria’s mouth from the increased contact, now completely intoxicated on Maria’s lips.
Maria started to slow down the kiss as her lungs demanded oxygen. Grudgingly Maria pulled back from Tsubasa’s lips, but kept their foreheads pressed together. They stayed like that, breathing heavily in an attempt to catch their breath, neither interested in pulling away.
“So?” Maria questioned Tsubasa when her breathing returned to normal.
She received another unintelligible response from Tsubasa.
“What?” Maria began to worry she had done something wrong.
“Can we keep kissing?”
“Huh?” That wasn’t the response Maria was expecting.
“I want to keep kissing you Maria.” Maria felt Tsubasa’s hands start pulling her in for another kiss.
“You’re so demanding.” Maria smiled as she let herself get pulled into the kiss.
“I don’t care.”
Maria let the other girl take the lead in the kiss, allowing her to explore what it was like. She was a little sloppy in some places, but lying there with Tsubasa on top of her demanding more set off a fire deep within Maria’s body. Her heart started hammering in her chest. Neither girl cared that their breath and lips tasted of hard alcohol. Maria had to bite back a moan when she felt the other girl’s mouth open as she got curious and ran her tongue along Maria’s bottom lip. Feeling more drunk on this kiss than the alcohol she had consumed Maria opened her mouth in response. She felt Tsubasa’s tongue timidly slide into her mouth and run along the top of her tongue. Maria ran her hands down Tsubasa’s sides and settled on her hips, squeezing. Tsubasa faltered with the kiss as Maria began to rub circles into her hip. Pulling away Maria took a few seconds to watch Tsubasa’s face.
“You’re so beautiful Tsubasa.”
“Maria…” Tsubasa opened her eyes to look back at her. “I wish we could keep doing this forever.”
Forever. Maria’s breath hitched and she pulled away as she came to the realization of their situation. With her life soon to be signed away she wasn’t going to get moments like these ever again. She would be forced away into a cell to be brought out when governments were in the need of a publicity boost, and then forced back away as soon as the public forgot about her. She wouldn’t ever have a chance at love or a chance to be with Tsubasa. She felt tears start to well up in her eyes as she would be powerless to change her life.
“Maria? What’s wrong? Did I say something?” Tsubasa’s face was full of concern as she watched Maria fight back tears.
“No…It’s just…I’m so sorry Tsubasa.”
“Sorry? For what? Maria I don’t understand.”
Maria let out a small sob as the tears threatened harder to flow. “I’ve given you this.” I’ve given myself this she thought to herself. “And soon it’s going to be taken away and I’ll be too weak to stop it.”
Tsubasa stayed silent as Maria fought with her emotions trying to think of more to say. She looked up at Tsubasa as the tears finally began to fall from her eyes.
“Tsubasa. Tell me. What does it mean to protect the things closest to you?”
Tsubasa watched as Maria began to cry in front of her. After a few moments she wrapped her arms around Maria and pulled her into an embrace.
“I…I’m probably not the best person to answer that. But…” Tsubasa squeezed tighter as she tried to hold Maria as close as possible. “I think protecting the ones closest to you means protecting their future, and making sure they live in a world where they can smile freely without pain.”
Listening to those words Maria dug her face into Tsubasa’s shoulder as she cried, holding onto her just as tightly. Maria felt Tsubasa’s hands rub her back in an effort to soothe her. Eventually Maria’s tears calmed down as she thought on what Tsubasa said.
“Hey Tsubasa.”
“Hm?”
“Kirika and Shirabe…they can’t grow up in prison. They need a future where they can go to school, make friends, and live their lives. That’s something I have to protect.”
“Yeah, you’re right.” At Tsubasa’s response Maria dug her fingers into Tsubasa’s shirt and pressed her face deeper into her shoulder.
“But while you’re doing that, I’ll be there to protect your future as well.”
“Tsubasa?” Maria slowly removed her head from Tsubasa’s shoulder to look at her.
“I want to sing with you again Maria. I want you to have a future where we can keep singing together.” Tsubasa spoke with a strong determination in her voice that matched the determination in her eyes. Maria was taken aback as Tsubasa continued. “I don’t care what it takes, but we will sing together.”
Maria felt the tears leave her eyes and her mouth turned into a smile. She looked at Tsubasa and saw something she never thought she would see again. Hope. Hope and the chance at freedom. She believed Tsubasa could make it possible for them to sing together. And if she could sing together with Tsubasa, maybe her future could be bright. Not having the words to respond Maria instead moved forward to press another kiss to Tsubasa’s lips, trying to convey all of her emotions into it. Tsubasa kissed her back with the same intensity as they continued to cling to each other. Suddenly though she felt Tsubasa pull back.
“What is it?”
“I thought I heard someone.” Tsuabsa had her head turned toward the door and Maria tried to listen for any noises. Sure enough she heard voices from down the hallway. “Ogawa?” Tsubasa turned back to look at Maria, uncertainty in her eyes.
“We should get up before they get here.” Maria said quietly as she looked down at their position.
“Yeah.” Tsubasa agreed with Maria as they let go of each other. Maria watched as Tsubasa tried to move quickly and give her a chance to get up by moving off to the side and forcing herself up. Seeing in slow motion what was going to happen but unable to stop it she watched as Tsubasa pushed herself off the floor only to have her head collide right with the corner of the table.
Unable to hold it in Tsubasa let out a cry of pain as she fell back down onto Maria. Maria brought her hands up to cradle Tsubasa’s head and check to see if she was bleeding. Rubbing the girl’s head Maria tried to comfort her until the pain went away.
“Tsubasa? Maria?” Maria’s eyes shot to the door and saw Ogawa and the Commander standing there. She had forgotten they were down the hall.
“Commander…Hello.” Maria had no idea what else to say.
“What’s going on here?” The two of them began to walk into the room. Maria felt Tsubasa turn as well to face the two of them.
“We’re really sorry.” Maria started.
“This isn’t what it looks like.” Tsubasa finished.
Maria immediately turned to look at her. “Tsubasa! What do you mean this isn’t what it looks like?!” She was surprised at Tsubasa’s excuse.
“But I thought that’s what you’re supposed to say in these situations, they always say that on TV.” The honest belief and sincerity in Tsubasa’s voice nearly killed Maria.
“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Letting out a strangled groan Maria smacked her palm against her forehead as she let her back fall onto the floor again. How much of this stuff did Tsubasa learn from TV and movies? Despite Tsubasa being the one to smash her head on the table Maria felt a head ache coming on from the whole situation.
Ogawa and the Commander ended up helping the two girls off the floor. Once they were on their feet Genjuro surveyed the alcohol they had left on the table.
“Girls…” He let out in a gruff voice as he scratched the back of his head. Eyeing him Maria realized he probably had no idea how to react in this situation, not knowing if he should scold them or let them go. Ogawa, the only one who probably did have a sense of what to do, was smiling at the two of them knowingly and seemed quite happy in turn. It could’ve gone worse, all things considered. As Genjuro put the glasses away Ogawa turned to speak to them.
“The release contract is nearly up, so we’ll have to transport you back now Maria. Kirika and Shirabe are already waiting in the car.”
“I see. We should get moving then.” Maria had no choice but to agree. She started to walk towards the exit and saw Tsubasa catch up beside her. The two shared a small smile as they stayed at each other’s side until they exited the sub.
Under the release contract Ogawa was the one who would be driving them. When they reached the car Maria saw Kirika and Shirabe already cuddled together half asleep in the back seat. Ogawa moved to enter into the driver’s side as Maria opened the back door. Before entering she turned around to look at Tsubasa. She noticed that the Commander had stayed behind, and Ogawa had quickly entered the car; both having the sense to give her and Tsubasa a moment to themselves.
“So.” Maria started, not really knowing how to continue. So she reached out and held Tsubasa’s hand. “I guess we’ll see each other soon then?”
“Mhm.” Tsubasa nodded in agreement and squeezed Maria’s hand back. Maria couldn’t hold back the smile and joy from spreading across her face. Before she felt as though she had no hope and no chance of making her life into anything. But now standing in front of Tsubasa and holding tightly onto her hand she saw a chance of a future she could live. As the moment passed they said their goodbyes and Maria entered the back seat. When Ogawa started driving off she felt Kirika and Shirabe’s heads fall into her lap as they clung to her. Softly patting their heads Maria thought back on the night and began to hum a soft tune. Tsubasa had offered her the wings to fly towards a blue sky, and so she decided to do whatever she could to help Tsubasa when they would both be singing towards their future.