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After the body was taken away and the morning came Van offered to take you home.
You think if you were a better person, someone less selfish you would have said no. It made a lot more sense to go back with Shauna and Jeff.
Van lives so far from you. Van is sick. And you had already messed up her life enough.
But you are you, so you said yes.
Most of the ride home was spent in silence, so much had happened in the last few days. Under normal circumstances you would have suggested turning the radio on, but with Natalie dead anything that could make the present more enjoyable seemed wrong.
When you arrive in town the sun hits the face of the woman beside you, illuminating her scars and as you've done many times before you find yourself thinking how beautiful she is.
You are so distracted by the image of her that it takes you a moment to realize that she has started to speak.
"What did you say?"
“I asked why didn't I get a visit from your private detective? Everyone got a visit from their fake journalist to see if they were going to talk, why not me? Was it because I lived far away or did you just forget about me?”
“None of those options.”
"Then why?"
“I think it's because I was sure you wouldn't betray on me.”
She is silent for a moment. Then she smiles and says:
“Kinda stupid to trust an ex that much. It makes me a little concerned for the future of your political career.”
"I do not blame you." You say but think how you wouldn't trust any ex other than her that much.
Worse, you wouldn't even trust your wife that much. You feel more guilt thinking about it than you did kissing her.
A few minutes later she parks the car in the hospital parking lot where Simone still is.
You get out of the car and you're back, to your town, to your wife, to the life you've worked so hard to build and preserve, and which now seems unbearable to go back to.
“Thanks for the ride.”
"You are welcome."
“Call me when you get home, okay?”
"Sure."
For a second before she drives away, the sun once again hits her face illuminating her scars, her long red hair and her lips and as you have done many times before you find yourself thinking how beautiful she is, and you ask how come you ever let her go.
You think about kissing her again, and you almost do.