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It had been three days. Dalton had waited three days to make the call, a call so important that he shouldn’t have even let one day pass before he made it. Dalton wasn’t a man that was easily nervous, but this made feel almost shaky. He pulled Wade Garrett’s wallet from his own back pocket. Wade Garrett, his mentor and closet friend, had died three days ago. It wasn’t an idea that Dalton was comfortable with, it hadn’t yet settled into his bones. It was just the sort of thing that he would usually call Wade about. Dalton would have asked him how do you do it? Accept that they’re gone and they ain’t coming back? He could almost heard Wade’s imaginary reply Well hell, kid, you got to stop thinkin’ so hard. Then Wade would have smiled, winked, and slapped Dalton on the shoulder. He felt like he was all alone in missing Wade. But he wouldn’t be cause he had a phone call to make.
Dalton sighed as pulled the worn out business card from his friend’s wallet. The name and number were barely legible on the thick card stock. It was for Roy’s Royal Rest in some small town in West Virginia. Dalton knew that he wasn’t calling for anyone named Roy. Wade Garrett hadn’t spoken much about his time in the mountain state, but he had mentioned a name-Lila Harper. That was the person attached to this number. As he stared at the card, Wade seemed to whisper to him Come on mijo, buck up and do it. So Dalton punched the number in on the phone and waited. Whether it was a matter of minutes or a matter of seconds, he knew that waiting would be long.
He heard the other phone pick up and he wanted to just say it, but that wouldn’t be right.
“Roy’s Royal Rest, this Lila speaking. How can I help you?” a naturally gentle voice asked at the end of the line.
Dalton steeled his gaze, for his own benefit, and replied “Ms. Harper, you don’t know me but my name’s Dalton-”
“You’re Wade’s boy aren’t ya?” the woman said interrupting him.
He really didn’t mind that she thought of him that way. “Yes, ma’am. I guess I am. He’s why I’m calling you today.”
“Oh? What that man get himself into now?”
“Well ma’am you see…Ms. Harper…I’m sorry…” and Dalton paused. His hands were shaking and his throat was tightening. The pause must have gone on for too long cause she knew. She knew something was more wrong than she’d anticipated.
“Dalton, why don’t you give me a minute to find a seat. I have a feeling this is news I should be sitting comfortably ‘fore hearing it.”
“Yes ma’am.” Dalton agreed. He wanted comfortable seating to be far away, but it wasn’t far enough for him to not have to tell her.
Her voice scattered his thoughts “Alright, sweetheart. I’m seated. Why don’t you tell me why you called?” she prompted.
“I’m sorry to have to tell you this Ms. Harper-”
“Dalton, I’m sorry but could you please call me Lila.” It seemed she too wanted to delay the inevitable.
He started again, “I’m sorry to have to tell you this Lila but Wade Garrett is dead. He was killed three days ago.”
He didn’t hear anything from the other end. She must have put the phone down. He knew she had to be feeling what he was feeling, at least something close to it. Dalton could count on one hand the number of times that Wade had talked about Lila, but it was enough to know that she was the only woman he would give it all up for-the drinking, the money, and the fighting, even his own life. But instead Wade’s life was taken because of Dalton. He remembered Wade telling him that Lila still wrote to him, after decades and through every heartbreak, and at the end of every letter Come home, Wade, I’m still waiting on that dance. No matter what happened, she wanted him with her.
When she finally spoke it was to say “Oh Dalton, honey, I’m so sorry for your loss.”
Dalton held back his tears, swallowed them down deep, and replied “Lila, I’m so sorry for your loss. He loved you very much.”
Lila laughed and said “Oh I don’t know, Dalton. Lila Harper’s getting old.”
“But she’s still the best.” He responded. She hummed on the other side.
“How are you holding up?” She asked, her gentle voice had a stern edge to it.
“I’m alright.”
“Bullshit. Tell me how you’re really feeling.”
Dalton said “It’s my fault, Lila. It’s my fault he’s gone. I pulled him into some power struggle that he told me to leave alone, and I couldn’t leave it.”
Lila sighed, “It ain’t your fault. He made the choice to go out there and help you. You got to cut that guilt loose, it ain’t doing you no favors.”
“I see him everywhere I go. Sometimes I think about something, and I’ll think I can’t wait to tell Wade about that, and then I remember that I can’t.”
“That’s just what it’s like to miss someone.”
He asked her the question that he wanted ask Wade, “How am I supposed to accept that he’s dead? I killed the man who killed him and the man that ordered him dead, but I don’t want him to be gone.”
“Oh baby,” Lila cooed, soothingly “you don’t have to accept it right now. It’s been three days. You can cry or scream or run or whatever the hell it is you do. In a few weeks or months you’ll start to feel better, then you’ll understand that he ain’t ever gonna be gone. He’ll still be in your late night drinks and in every punch you throw. For me, he’ll be in the lightening bugs and in Glen Campell songs. He’ll be in all the ways that you loved him and that he loved you.”
Maybe he would call Lila from now on. She could untie all the knots in his head and chest. He took a long, ragged breath and said “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, Dalton.” She replied.
“There’s one more thing before you go.” Dalton said.
“I ain’t in no rush. What is it, honey?”
“Wade left somethings behind, and while he didn’t have a will I know he’d want it all to go to you. There’s also a letter that he hadn’t posted yet. Do you want me to send to you?”
“That’ll be just fine.”
“Okay.” Dalton looked down at his shoes, he was still so nervous. It felt so unlike him. “Again, Lila, I just want to say I’m sorry. He loved you a lot.”
She paused again. It was long and he almost regretted saying it, but she must have known otherwise it wouldn’t have hurt her this much. Finally, she replied “I loved him a lot too.”
They shared a few breaths together and for the first time in days, Dalton felt some relief.
“Dalton, why don’t you come and see me sometime. I’m sure you could tell me a story or two.” Lila said.
Dalton smiled and said “I’d like that.”
“You have my card, so don’t be a stranger. Take care, honey.”
“Yes ma’am.” And then she hung up. The call was over.