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Mash is sitting on the chair beside Finn while eating his second cream puff for today, pretending he is paying attention to the notes that Finn is writing even though he clearly is more focused on the cream puff in his hand. Finn is creating a resume of today’s lesson for the upcoming exam’s preparation, concentrating to write while also trying to understand the materials, considering how difficult they are for him. A knock on their room’s door is heard, which makes Finn immediately panics since his focus is interrupted.
“Wait, I’m almost done, just one paragraph left!” He exclaims from his desk to whoever standing behind the door.
Mash pushes his chair back and stands up from his seat while walking towards the door, still holding his beloved cream puff. “I’ll open it.”
Finn is glad that his roommate is volunteering to help him open the door. After all, Finn does not like to leave work unfinished when he is already doing it. “Don’t forget to pull the door to open it from the inside.” There have not been a lot of door-related incidents after both of them somehow manage to work out a solution, but Finn still reminds Mash just in case.
“‘Kay.” Mash replies, as he grabs the doorknob and pulls it, as instructed by Finn, silently grateful for Finn’s unending patience and kindness to deal with his clumsiness. When he slowly pulls the doorknob and reveals who is their guest, Mash blinks once, as he waves his unoccupied hand as a greeting. “Oh, hello.”
“Mash Burnedead.” Finn almost drops his pen in surprise at hearing the stern voice addressing his roommate with his full name as if they are in a morning class roll, the voice that Finn knows who the owner is better than anyone. Good thing that he manages to finish the remaining resume of today’s lesson, he does not need to worry about his loss of concentration after hearing the usual cold and harsh voice belonging to none other than Rayne Ames, his brother. “I need to talk with Finn for a minute. Is he free?”
“Oh.” Mash’s expression does not change, as he bites on his cream puff while answering. “Let me ask.” He answers, though almost sounds unclear because of his munching. When Mash is about to turn around and ask, Finn stands up from his seat.
“I have some free time now if you want to talk.” Finn sounds somewhat nervous. He cannot help but overthink what kind of matters his brother wants to talk about, so much until he decides to visit his dorm. Finn tries to remember if he has ever messed up on something recently to the point his brother has to talk about it.
Rayne looks the same as usual. Wearing the school uniform and Adler dorm’s black-colored robe, with a serious and unwelcoming expression that hides the adoration for bunnies beneath it, and a caring personality. There is nothing out of the ordinary, which leaves Finn even more confused.
“All right. Come with me for a bit.” Rayne walks away, as Mash watches him while still munching on his cream puff. Finn hurries to follow Rayne but stops for a bit at the doorway to glance at Mash.
“I’ve finished the resume, if you want to study it. You can leave the door open for a bit, maybe this won’t take for long.”
“‘Kay. I’ll leave some cream puffs for you. There’s still some more left.” Mash nods, and Finn smiles at his roommate as he goes to catch up with Rayne. Finn knows Mash might not want to study despite Finn telling him so, especially alone, but they can do that together later once he finishes his business with Rayne.
***
Rayne stops walking in the hallway, not too far from Finn and Mash’s room, with his back facing Finn. Finn is unnerved at his brother’s unusually long silence, he has not said anything and this makes him overthink even more. Finn wonders if he should be the one to start the conversation. Fidgeting, and letting out a soft sigh to calm himself down, he decides to break the silence.
“So…” Finn starts. “What is it, Rayne?”
There is no response. Rayne still does not want to say anything, but Finn notices his fingers twitch a little for a moment. Finn does not understand what is happening, and every second spent in nothingness makes him more worried.
Before Finn attempts to break the silence again, Rayne inhales a sharp breath as he turns around. His eyes are staring to the ground, and his expression, from what Finn can see, while still maintaining the serious visage, also somehow appears…regretful? Remorseful? Finn wonders if he is just imagining it, but before he can question it, he is surprised by Rayne suddenly bowing at him.
“I’m sorry.”
When Rayne finally speaks, the words that he has said really surprise Finn. “W-what?” He stammers, unsure how to react to his brother bowing and apologizing to him out of the blue. “W-why are you—-”
“I’ve been a terrible brother to you.” Rayne cuts off. “What I had done to you, and what I had said…I should have done better. I should never call you a burden and tell you to leave, while in fact, it’s because of you that both of us can make it out alive.”
When Finn connects everything, he calms down, no longer panicking. But Finn does not answer just yet, he lets his brother keep talking until he is done.
“It’s my responsibility as a big brother, to protect you and to give you the normal life that you want. But that still does not excuse the fact that I have been pushing you away all this time, without an explanation. I know I said that words are meaningless without actions, but sometimes words themselves are the actions necessary to be done, and they are also as important.”
Finn notices how odd his brother vocalizes his apology. It sounds so strangely…polite, and formal, even though he is talking to his own brother. And it sounds like Rayne has created a script for this specific instance beforehand and has rehearsed a lot of times in front of a mirror. Or at least, that is the impression that Finn gets. He knows his older brother is not good at words, he never is. He always shows what he feels and what he intends through his actions, which is great, but can cause misunderstanding. Like what happened between them. Oddly enough, Rayne gets along well with Mash, Finn has seen them talk together every now and then, and neither is really good at expressing themselves. Perhaps that is the reason why they become somewhat good friends.
It’s uncharacteristic of his brother to be like this. To appear… somewhat vulnerable. To Finn, Rayne has always been strong, there is nothing he fears, and there is nothing that can make him show his weakness. He always handles everything that comes calmly and correctly. Even when he was mortally injured, he was still very calm. There was a time when he was angry as he beat down the Fourth Fang of Magia Lupus, but that was probably the only time Finn ever saw his brother lose a bit of his composure.
However, while thrown off-guard by the unusual behavior, Finn is still listening intently to everything that his brother is saying.
“That’s why, I’m so sorry, Finn. For everything. The cause of the rift formed between us…it was me.” Rayne pauses briefly. “And, thank you, for being so brave, and for saving not just both of us, but many others too.”
Rayne slowly straightens his back. It’s very slight, but Finn sees how melancholic Rayne’s expression is, hidden beneath his usual serious demeanor. Rayne’s eyes are finally looking at Finn, his stare looks softer and somber, than usual. Rayne takes a few steps forward until Finn is within his reach, as he raises his right hand, to slowly place it on top of Finn’s head, ruffling his hair a little.
“I’m so proud of you.”
Finn widens his eyes when Rayne vocalizes those words. He does not realize how much he needed to hear that from his brother until now.
A moment after saying that, Rayne lifts his hand off Finn’s head. “That’s all I want to say.” Rayne sighs a little. “Sorry for taking your ti—”
Rayne is unable to finish his words when Finn throws himself to hug his brother tightly, so tight as if Rayne would disappear if Finn does not hug him. Rayne can feel his brother’s entire body shaking, and he can also feel his uniform getting wet, possibly from Finn’s tears. Rayne does not know what to do, his attempt to mend the rift between them with the words he has prepared seems to backfire horribly. Now his little brother is crying, and Rayne is at a loss for words.
“Rayne…you big dumb idiot.”
Even though this is not the first time Finn said that it still manages to surprise him. To hear how much his little brother has grown and has changed from who he was in the past, to hear his little brother talking back to him instead of obediently following what he tells him to do…it throws him off guard every time.
“I’m glad…What a relief…” Finn buries his face in his uniform which makes his voice sounds muffled, but Rayne can still hear what he said. “I’m so happy that we can finally get along again as a family…”
Rayne has to admit, sometimes he misses the times when they were little. They did not have food, did not have a home, and often were shunned by people for being homeless and poor, especially by their relatives. Yet, despite the hard times, they always stayed close together. They struggled to even find something to eat every day, but they never got separated. There was no rift separating their relationship back then, they only had each other as they kept going just to survive the next day. Now, even though they can afford a house for themselves, live a better life, and can eat meals three times a day without worrying about tomorrow’s food, their relationship is strained. Or at least, it was, until today, it seems.
“I forgive you, Rayne. Just don’t do something stupid again like sacrificing yourself, okay?” Finn pauses to sob between his words, it has been a while since Rayne has ever seen and heard Finn crying like his past self. Even in the battle back then, Finn didn’t cry that much, despite how dire the situation was. He definitely has become so strong. “I’m your brother, you can rely on me as much as I always rely on you. Let me help you whenever you need any.”
Finn looks up to Rayne, with his eyes still full of tears, but he is smiling happily, still not letting go of him. The only time when Rayne has ever seen him this happy is when he is talking with Mash Burnedead a long time ago.
“I’m so glad to have you as my big brother, Rayne.”
Rayne widens his eyes. He does not know how to react, but he cannot deny how happy Finn’s words make him. The realization hits him, how amazing the power of words is, and how words really can be part of actions that are necessary to be done, and necessary to set things right.
Hesitantly, he places both of his hands on Finn’s back, hugging him back. Finn just hugs him even tighter, as he laughs happily. His laughter is muffled, but Rayne can still hear it, and how happy Finn’s laughter makes him. His happiness is contagious. It feels like his goal to create a better world where he can be has been achieved. Though, it’s Mash Burnedead who makes it possible. Honestly, Rayne is endlessly thankful for that cream puff-loving boy.
Rayne cannot remember, when was the last time they hug each other like this? He did not remember them doing that at all recently, maybe they did that when they were little, or when Rayne comforted his little brother that everything would be okay. Maybe Rayne ever hugged him on a rainy day when they had to stay under the cold and damp bridge, and their clothes were soaked, without anything to be used as a blanket. It was a long time ago. Rayne does not want to linger in the past for too long, since the present and the future will be different, and better.
Without realizing it, Rayne’s lips form a small smile, though whether or not Finn sees that is a question that will remain unanswered.
After a little while, both Finn and Rayne let go of each other at nearly the same time. Rayne’s expression returns to the usual cold and serious one as he speaks first. “That’s all I want to say.” He turns around to walk in the opposite direction.
Finn nods with a wide smile while waving his hand. “See you later, Rayne!”
Suddenly, Rayne stops walking, as if he just remembers something, and Finn stops waving his hand too in surprise. Rayne still keeps his back facing Finn, not seeing Finn’s questioning look but he knows Finn is wondering what holds him up.
“If you want to visit my room, it’s at 1106.” Hearing this, Finn’s smile morphs even wider, though Rayne remains not seeing that. “Just let me know before visiting, since I have work to do. If I need some help to take care of the bunnies, I’ll let you know too.” His tone goes back to the usual stern one, and Finn knows that it’s just Rayne being how he is.
“Sure!” Finn answers excitedly. “I’ll ask Mash to come along as well!”
After becoming the Divine Visionary, Rayne has been living in his room alone, separate from Max, who was his roommate before. He still visits every now and then, but most of the time both of them are busy with their own business, which is understandable since both of them are third-years with many things to do for graduation. So, to hear Finn is willing to visit, and even bring Mash to come along…the bunnies will be happy to have new friends.
“All right.” Rayne nods. He finds himself smiling a little again, though Finn cannot see that. “I’ll be going. Take care, Finn.”
“You too, Rayne! See you later!” Finn waves his hand to his brother, before walking in a separate direction, back to his room.
Despite both of the brothers are walking in different pathways, they are feeling happy and relieved. No more distance or rift is separating them anymore. The disjointed sibling relationship has finally been mended, and now they can live peacefully.
Finn is looking forward to visiting Rayne and meeting his pet bunnies sometime in the future.
When Finn returns to his room, Mash cannot stop staring at how happy Finn is. Even though he does not know why, he is glad to see his friend’s smile, as he finds himself forming a little smile as well.