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It was midday in the Jeweled Crossier when Iriko arrived, heaving and huffing. Achiness traveled down her spine, spanning from the tops of her shoulders to the outer edges of her hips. Thanks to Tataru's masterful way of costuming, she hid Iriko's enlarged belly with ease. Yet due to the disguise, it made it harder to move.
Iriko's day so far had consisted of traveling all around Ishgard, helping nobles with various tasks. She had taken to it as of late, as she was still trying to obtain the people's trust. Even being the ward of the de Fortemps family and having Ser Aymeric's personal approval still did little to quell people's distaste of her. She couldn't wait to see what they all thought when she'd give birth to a mixed-race child.
Iriko quickly shoved that thought from her mind. There were other matters at hand to consider.
She had finished her work for the day, finally wrapping up a large commission for leather harnesses. Iriko didn’t know where such a request came from, but she was paid handsomely for it. So of course she was scouring Ishgardian wares, trying to find something she could bring home as a present to her dear husband. She was trying to find a good chocolate place, or perhaps even a bakery that had fantastic treats.
But then something else caught her attention. Iriko couldn't help but be taken aback. She blinked multiple times, shocked that something like this would ever be advertised in broad daylight here, let alone sold in Ishgard.
Ever since Haurchefant learned of her stint in a Kugane Maid Café, he had teased her about it relentlessly. He didn't take it too far with his comments, thankfully, yet all the same did it drive her up the wall.
She narrowed her eyes at the mannequin. Surprisingly, the handiwork was top-notch. The rose pink fabric was soft, the white lace of the finest caliber. The apron was just as frilly as the dress, as did the matching bloomers. And the most surprising detail of all was that it appeared to be almost her size.
Immediately, Iriko felt conflicted. On one hand, she would feel mortified to wear such an outfit again. Then again, it would make Haurchefant very happy.
She sighed as she swallowed her pride. Despite wearing a hood that obstructed her face, shame over took her as she slammed down her coin purse. "How much will you take for that costume?"
"Oh, that?" The merchant, a balding Elezen man, gleefully lit up. Clearly not at all caring he couldn't see her face. "You actually wish to purchase such a monstrosity?"
"I do," she struggled to make eye contact. "how much?"
"Forty thousand gil, but I'll give it to you for thirty since I am desperate to get rid of it."
"Make it twenty-five thousand, and you have a deal," she held out her hand.
After the merchant took a moment to contemplate, he shook her hand. Iriko hurried to pay him, praying to the Gods above no one would see this transaction. The merchant quickly packed up the dress, placing into a box to hand to her. The Au Ra carefully tucked it away into her arms, and nodded curtly to the man before carefully walking away.
"The things you do for love..." Iriko grumbled under her breath while skirting through the plaza.
Thanks to her hooded cloak and small stature, her Auri features were obstructed enough that she appeared to be an Elezen youth. Which served her just fine for the day, but also made her uncomfortable after her most recent interaction. Iriko would have to investigate that more closely later. Right now she needed to return to the Manor and hide the box before-
“Why hello there, old girl!”
As if on cue, Iriko was spotted. Soon, standing before her stood a young Elezen man with dark hair, and blue eyes. He wore well-fitted trousers that were provocative by Ishgardian standards, and his leather shoes bore the shiniest, most embellished buckles for yalms.
Iriko internally screamed. Of course she'd run into him now of all times.
Yet, she spun around and half-heartedly smiled at him. “Hello, Emmanellain,” she said. Behind him, she spotted a small Elezen boy with short auburn hair who gazed at her in awe.
“By the Fury, you certainly mustn’t be lugging such things alone!” Honoroit rushed to her side, gazing up at the box in her hands.
Iriko laughed. "I can assure you I can manage carrying this on my own."
"But would you mind company? I would most honored to see my favorite sister-in-law back home."
Iriko nodded, deciding against her better judgment to humor him. "You may."
"Splendid!" Emmanellain cheered. "Would you like to have a Chocobo fetched for you?"
"You needn't, but the offer is appreciated," she replied. "I find that walking is good for me."
He cocked a brow. "Very well then! The Manor is only a short distance, anyhow."
Iriko nodded, thankful for such a fact.
"So what brings you out to the Markets?" Honoroit asked.
It was in that Iriko wished that she had a dozen of the Sylphs' invincibility potions.
"I wanted to buy a present for Haurche."
"Oh?" Emmannellain's eyes lit up, sparkling like prized jewels in the sun. His resemblance to Haurchefant in this exact moment was almost too uncanny. "And whatever is the occasion?"
"There never needs to be a special occasion to do something for my beloved," Iriko replied.
"Oh?" Emmannellain grinned, and immediately she found it off-putting. "Does this mean my darling, most pleasant brother will be home this eve?"
Iriko nodded. "He will."
Emmanellain beamed. "Most excellent news, old girl! I have a mind to ask him some very important questions."
"I can most assure you they are not," the younger Elezen pipped up. "they are in relation to the art of wooing."
"Hush, my dear Honoroit," Emmanellain’s ears turned pink. "I cannot allow our dear hero to learn that I, Emmanellain de Fortemps, am in dire need of inspiration!"
It took all of Iriko's restraint to not laugh. She knew it was something absurd, but she didn't expect something this comical. Yet despite her amusement, she caved into her curiosity. "So whatever is the question?" She asked, desperate to avert the topic of conversation away from the box in her arms.
He furrowed his brow. "By the Fury, Iriko, I cannot discuss such a delicate matter with you! You might be my brother's wife now, but you are still very much a lady."
"Are you sure you wish to not confide in me?" She coyly narrowed her eyes. "After all, I have courted other women."
Emmanellain froze in his tracks. For a moment, he didn't move, his face paling as he faced her once more. The sight she admittedly found entertaining, but out of respect towards her newfound family Iriko found the strength to suppress her laughter.
"Forgive me," he coughed. "I was not expecting you to be so experienced with ladies."
Iriko licked her lips. She wondered if her brother-in-law was troubled by the prospect she had more experience than he could ever hope to obtain. "Never mind that, tell me, what is your question?"
"So you know our dear Lainaitte of House Haillenarte," Emmannellain began. "I have ever been beside myself smitten with her for years! Yet she evades my advances, and I cannot fathom why!"
Suddenly, Iriko was so dumbfounded that any semblance of thought had evaporated. She had come to learn such was the case when in her brother-in-law's presence. As her senses came back to her, she wondered if his ability to put all around him in a stupor would be something she could use against a Primal. Alphinaud and certainly Haurchefant wouldn't approve, but the youngest Fortemps son's dimwitted moments did exceed a considerable level of boorishness.
Iriko took a deep breath. The things she did for love. "So what have you done, if you don't mind sharing?"
"My lord had cornered Francel the other day and begged him for several bells until he said yes-" the squire began.
"Ahem, I did not beg!" Emmanellain huffed. "I merely asked him a favor of immense proportions!"
Somehow, Iriko was more inclined to believe Honoroit's version of events. “So you sent her flowers?”
“Aye, that I did. And I personally came to deliver them to my sweet lady, and penned her the loveliest of poems.”
“Ah huh,” Iriko nodded, feeling her stomach drop into her intestines from how much she was cringing.
“Well, let it be said that she was not the most receptive.” He sighed resignedly, shaking his head so he could reach for his dark hair and messed with his long locks. Iriko too, wanted to shake her head. Despite everything, it was clear Haurchefant and Emmanellain were related.
“So tell me, my friend, whatever is the matter with that approach?” The elder Elezen asked.
"I can think of several points..." She trailed off, struggling to sugarcoat her honesty. “For starters, do you know whether or not she likes public gestures of affection?”
Emmanellain furrowed his brow. “I suppose I did not consider that condition... I guess it is safe to assume she very much does not.”
“And does she enjoy poetry?” She asked.
“I also did not ponder that.” He replied, shaking his head.
Iriko fought the continual urge to sigh. How on Hydaleyn's green earth were they both the same age? "Well... It is no small wonder she was cold towards your advances. If you truly valued her as a person, you would have highly considered what her preferences are."
"But I do!" He protested. "Laniaitte is important to me! I know it seems like I disregarded her feelings, but I can assure you they are of utmost importance to me!"
Iriko spotted the Fortemps Manor in the distance and her chest swelled up with relief. She only had to entertain this ridiculousness a little while longer. "If you truly care for her, then I strongly suggest that you reconsider your strategy altogether. Her preferences are of the utmost importance here. You already fumbled enough times in your quest to woo her that you certainly have soured her view of you."
"That, I fear you may be right," Emmannellain sighed while dramatically flicking his wrist.
He stopped in his tracks before placed his hands on Iriko's shoulders. He had folded into himself, appearing even more pathetic than ever while his eyes had filled to the brim with desperation. "Please..." he begged. "tell me if there is a way I can improve my chances with her, that I, Lord Emmanellain, can improve her views of me!"
At first, Iriko was hesitant to voice the other major factor in all of this, besides Emmannelain being Emmannelain. She knew full well it wasn't any of her business to say such a thing, even when she didn't know for sure. Yet she knew the truth the moment the other woman complimented Iriko's short, well-groomed nails. Emmannlein was daft and lacked social graces, but anyone else who knew that niche detail would know of Laniaitte's true preferences.
How could she tell the biggest gossiper of Ishgard to lay off another woman without outting her?
It took Iriko a moment to carefully consider her words before speaking once more. "If you truly are enamored with Mistress Hallienarte, then I would highly recommend that you apologize to her," she began. "even if you feel you have done her no wrong, you still made her feel uncomfortable. If you wish to establish a relationship with her, you need her to trust you first."
"And apologizing will solve that?" Emmanellain asked solemnly.
"Not completely, but it is a start," Iriko replied. "Afterwards, you will need to give her space, and be respectful of any boundaries she gives you. Ask her questions about herself, take an interest in her as a person."
His frown grew deeper. "That sounds very tedious."
"If you want her to fall for you, then you need to give her reasons to," Iriko narrowed her eyes. "and thus far, you have given her plenty of reason for her to believe you are nothing but a bothersome, self-absorbed imbecile whom she wouldn't give the time of day to."
Both Emmanellain and Honoroit winced. Iriko then added more softly, "but if you show her you are ashamed of your past behavior and are committed to bettering yourself, you just might have a chance with her."
"How much?" He asked.
"More than you do now." Iriko wanted to say more, but she didn't have it in her to completely break his spirit.
“Hmm...” Emmanellain furrowed his brow, as if some semblance of thought traversed through him. “I think you underestimate my charms, my dear, but you did give me some valuable insight.”
He tapped her on the shoulder, a determined smile decorating his lips. “Now, come on, Honoroit! We must be off to make sense of our Old Girl’s wisdom!”
Before the younger Elezen could protest, Emmannellain sprinted off without another word. Honoroit grumbled, muttering some curses under his breath, before rushing after his lordling.
Iriko snorted. She pitied Honoroit, but perhaps not as much as she did previously. Maybe she could learn to tolerate Emmannellain after all. It would be no easy feat, but for Haurchefant’s sake she could adapt.
She shook her head. The things she did for love.
Remembering the box in her hands, Iriko remembered what she must do. Already feeling drained after the previous conversation, she supposed she could leave the surprise aside for another night. So she headed into the manor, greeting the servants as she made her way to her and Haurchefant’s shared quarters.
When she opened the door, the first thing Iriko noticed was the pair of boots that lay on the ground. Pleasantly surprised, she called out, "Haurche, I am home~"
"Most splendid timing! Come into the bedroom, my darling, for I have a surprise for you."
Iriko blinked. "You do?"
"Aye!" He replied enthusiastically. "Please come on in, for I am most eager to show you."
She nodded. Although Iriko preferred to be the one surprising him, she supposed she couldn’t say no to a gift from her husband. So as soon as she kicked off her boots and removed her cloak, she went back to their bedroom.
If she didn't know better, Iriko would've found the sight in front of her to be from a fever dream. But yet right in front of her was her dashing, gorgeous husband wearing a bloody maid costume. It was identical to the outfit she had bought, save for the fabric being black instead of pink. Unsurprisingly Haurchefant went above and beyond with his commitment to wearing this attire, as he appeared to be wearing the lacy bracelets, a choker, and bloomers. He even wore shoes with heels. Iriko wondered how hard it was to find such footwear in his size, or if he already had it on hand.
"Whatever do you think, my dear?" He spun around clumsily, almost losing his balance in his elevated shoes. "I thought I had been too persistent in my teasing of your past as of late. In an effort to apologize, I hope that this may serve as adequate penance for my-"
Haurchefant stopped speaking the moment he noticed that Iriko had removed most of her clothes. She had headed over to their dresser, reaching into the drawers to pull out a long belted contraption.
"The dress stays on during sex," she growled over her shoulder.
Her husband smirked. “Very well, my dear.”
And as their tongues intertwined to devour each other ravenously, Iriko wondered what it’d be like to have sex with someone while both parties wore maid costumes. She supposed she’d wait to find out later. For now, she would reap her reward for dealing with her misguided but well-meaning brother-in-law.