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Skeppy loved Badboyhalo.
And there was a lot to love. He could go on and on. Easy.
His green eyes. Especially when they looked at him. The soft smile that came naturally as he looked at him. And the lines that would surface when he smiled. Just from how much he smiled. And laughed. He also loved his laugh and all the different variants of it. The giggles and endless cackles when Bad would make him laugh too. And they both would end up breathless, voices weak and squeaky. That was another thing. His voice. Skeppy loved that too. The soft pitch to it. When it would get gravelly when he was tired or serious.
“S’geppy…”
He also loved how he said his name. The way he would slur the syllables together and draw them out.
Skeppy ran his thumb along Bad’s cheek, watching as he yawned and shut his eyes. Bad mumbled something incoherent and wrapped his arms around his torso, shoving his face into his shoulder.
And he guessed there were also his arms. How they would tightly pull him close when they were alone or casually wrapped around his shoulder when they weren’t. Hold him like this in bed.
Bad groggily lifted his head and pressed a few kisses to his chin before dropping back down. Skeppy grinned.
God.
And how could he have forgotten? Skeppy loved Bad’s lips. When they would kiss his face, and he could feel the slight smile. Or how their lips carded together in a simple and perfect way. The sweetness of it all. Because they didn’t kiss as often as some would. Mostly because they were typically hundreds of miles away. But that didn’t really matter to Skeppy. Every moment was just that much more special.
Maybe he was a little obsessed with his boyfriend… A lot obsessed. Not that there was anything wrong with that. He drew a hand up to Bad’s head, combing his fingers through his hair. Bad hummed lowly, pushing back against his hand.
And his hair was so nice. How it felt in his hands; the intimacy of his hair in his hands. Bad wouldn’t let anyone besides Skeppy touch it. His hair was such a pretty color, and despite whatever Bad said, he loved the length. Skeppy knew he was part of the reason he hadn’t cut it yet, even though Bad often complained. It wasn’t that he specifically told him not to cut his hair. Skeppy just complimented it so much and could tell how much Bad liked the comments. From his bashful smile and rushed ‘thank you’s, rosy cheeks.
Even considering all these things he loved, it was mostly the small things. The things only he noticed or got to see. His little quirks that some may read as awkward, but Skeppy found so charming.
It even extended to their relationship. He loved their relationship. How Bad would treat and look at him. The fact Bad hated when others touched him, yet they couldn’t keep their hands off of another. When they were in public. The knowing looks and hidden touches they shared. If Skeppy smiled, Bad would too. If one laughed, so would the other. Things aligned perfectly. They matched the other's weaknesses and could practically read the other’s mind just from one word or short glance. Even when they weren’t physically together, Skeppy still felt so loved.
He ran his hand through his hair once more before Bad started to pull away, flopping onto his back with a low groan. He opened his eyes, bleary and lidded. Bad murmured, “I really don’t want to get up.”
“Me neither.”
“But we have to,” Bad yawned, rubbing at his eyes.
“I know,” He sighed, “Today will be fun, though.”
“Yeah…” Bad drew out and turned back towards Skeppy, “Five more minutes, and then we get out of bed,” He proposed, bringing his hand to Skeppy’s neck.
Skeppy smiled, taking Bad’s other hand in his, “Deal.”
When they eventually did get up, Skeppy went to take a shower while Bad ran up to his hotel room to grab his suitcase. Bad hadn’t planned on sleeping in Skeppy’s room last night, but they both were tired and… clingy. Skeppy didn’t really like using that word. Anyway. It had been a long day, and it wasn’t often when they got to be together after all. So he didn’t find it all that outrageous to want Bad all to himself sometimes.
Hmm…
Skeppy stepped out of the shower and brushed his teeth. He heard his hotel room door open and close. Bad humming something, some sort of tune. Skeppy smiled and got dressed.
When he left the bathroom, Bad was sitting on his bed, looking down at his phone. The bed was made.
“I didn’t know housekeeping came by,” He jokingly said, standing in front of Bad.
Bad looked up at him, a smile tugging on his lips, “Yeah, it’s crazy, isn’t it? They were in and out, like that,” He snapped his fingers.
“It’s even crazier because I have the ‘do not disturb’ sign up.”
“Hmm…” Bad put on an exaggerated thinking face, “I can’t imagine why they would’ve ignored that,” He took Skeppy’s hand.
“It’s just rude…” Skeppy muttered, watching as Bad kissed his hand and then held it to his face.
“Yeah,” Their eyes met.
Skeppy smiled before gently taking his hand from Bad and turning to find his shoes. He grabbed his tennis shoes and started sliding them on, calling over his shoulder, “Thanks for picking up, though.”
“Sure, I mean it’s only right,” Bad came up to him, holding a toiletry bag, “I’m a guest.”
“I don’t think so,” He frowned, “You’re never just a guest to me.”
“I guess not,” Bad shrugged.
Skeppy grabbed his wallet from the kitchenette counter, “I’m gonna get us Starbucks while you get ready.”
“Aww… You’re so sweet,” Bad cooed.
“I’m just saving everyone from coffeeless Badboyhalo.”
He gawked, “Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?”
Skeppy shrugged.
“Whatever,” Bad grumbled before his tone softened, “You remember my order?”
“Yeah, I do,” Skeppy smiled and walked to the door. He pulled it open, holding it open with his foot, “‘Kay, bye.”
“Love you,” Bad called out as he turned the bathroom light on.
“I love you too.”
The hotel lobby was fairly busy, and Skeppy had to wait in a ridiculously long line for Starbucks. Which sucked because, honestly, Bad and him were running late. It was fine. They could explain themselves…Well. That wasn’t necessarily true.
Skeppy frowned as he stared down his blank phone, just to appear like he was busy. He was waiting on his order.
He did love their relationship. But there were times like this when parts of it just… Frustrated him? Maybe it just made him sad. That was the irrational part of him, though. He knew neither of them could take being a known thing. They were both too much of the overthinking type and tried to keep their private lives fairly closed off from the rest of the world. They had talked about it before–several times actually. The possibility of going public with their relationship. It had been a hard pass on Bad’s side. Always had been. Skeppy had been more reluctant at first. Before he actually thought about the potential consequences and how they both operated as people. It just wasn’t a good idea.
But that didn’t stop that original reluctant part of him from getting upset about it from time to time. And it was really just his heart talking. He wanted to show people how much he loved Bad, just for people to get it. Skeppy wanted to hold his hand or casually touch him on stream. Maybe rest his head on his shoulder or have his arms wrapped around him.
And he knew they couldn’t.
Which is what made it so frustrating.
He also just didn’t like keeping secrets and having to dance around things. It made him feel guilty and overly cautious of everything he did: every movement or word. Consider if something could be read past the simple guise of a joke. Because they made those a lot.
Skeppy glanced up from his phone as his name was called. He grabbed the two drinks from the pick-up counter and headed back to the elevators.
Bad was organizing his backpack when he got back; he sat crisscrossed on the floor. He glanced up as Skeppy entered the room and made a grabby motion with his hand.
Skeppy chuckled and handed Bad his cup of coffee.
They were out the door pretty quickly.
In the elevator, they held hands, and Skeppy kissed Bad’s cheek. The other’s soft laughter was cut off as the elevator stopped and the door opened. Their hands dropped as a group of people joined their elevator. Skeppy frowned, realizing how common events like that would become over the next two days.
They had to wait for a shuttle to the convention center. Bad kept taking glances at the time every thirty seconds. Each time, his face grew more and more worried.
“We’re gonna be fine,” Skeppy assured, nudging Bad’s arm with his own.
“I hope so. I just don’t want to be late to the panel. Like I don’t want us to be the holdup,” He muttered, rubbing one of his hands against his knee; tapping his index finger.
“We’d never hear the end of that,” And it was true. Their friends would absolutely run any jokes about them to the ground. They didn’t mind the jokes as long as nothing was really confirmed. He also knew that their friends would create whatever excuse necessary to protect them. So really, Skeppy wasn’t all that worried if they were late or not. But he knew Bad and how big of a people pleaser he was, “Seriously though, we’ll be fine. And even if we aren’t, no one is really going to care. They’ll forgive us.”
Bad let out a breath, his shoulders easing slightly, “Yeah, you’re right. Thanks, Skeppy.”
Thankfully they wouldn’t be late, their shuttle arrived, and they navigated to the backstage area of their panel fairly quickly. Hannah talked with them for a few minutes before Bad excused himself to the restroom, and Skeppy turned to talk with another group.
Skeppy glanced at Bad as he returned. He smiled at Skeppy and muttered a greeting before linking an arm across his back, hand gripping his shoulder. It was a simple touch, but it made him smile as he casually replied to a question someone had asked him.
The panel had been fun, and he enjoyed it even if his stomach was a mess half the time. Bad, and he would share the occasional look. Maybe a small smile. It calmed his nerves, and he could tell he helped Bad too. Sometimes he would just watch Bad speak and explain things. His mannerisms always made him happy. Which sounded so obscure and small. And maybe it was, but he couldn’t help it.
Skeppy had another panel to attend after the first one, so they stuck around backstage talking with Puffy before she left. Bad turned to him as he grabbed his backpack from where he had set it against a wall, “I’ll go grab us lunch.”
“I’m good with whatever,” Skeppy smiled, “Thank you.”
“Of course.”
“Love you,” He said, and wow, did he ever. It was a constant thing.
“Love you too,” Bad softly replied, and Skeppy wanted so badly to simply kiss his cheek.
And Bad left.
This whole thing had him feeling weird just because of how new it was. Skeppy didn’t go to a lot of large events as it was. So it was all the much more intimidating considering that Bad and he had never been together in such a public way before. It was unknown territory, and he didn’t know how he would react to the pressure. It felt like he had to judge all of his actions based on the interpretations of others.
What an odd feeling.
The rest of the day seemed to run by, Skeppy growing more and more tired. Just from all the talking and walking around.
After dinner, he decided to head back to his hotel room while Bad spent the evening with Hannah and Puffy. Skeppy knew himself well enough to realize when he needed a break. They planned on meeting again at the afterparty. Bad would text him.
Once he was alone in the elevator up to his room, it felt like a weight was lifted off his shoulder. Like he could finally just breathe.
An hour or two passed, and Bad messaged him, saying they were on their way back to the hotel. He folded up the bag of chips he had been snacking on and rolled out of bed.
Skeppy didn’t leave Bad’s side once the entire party, practically hanging off his arm. While he typically would be more of the ‘fun at parties’ type, he just wasn’t feeling it then. He also didn’t really care who saw him holding onto Bad. He hadn’t gotten to the entire day, and their hours together were quickly dwindling. Besides, it was only other content creators around, and most didn’t pay them any mind. He didn’t care if they did either…
Maybe this whole secret relationship thing was getting to him. Whatever.
They followed Hannah around for a while before branching off to talk to some other people. A piece of these parties was networking, but again, he was tired, and it was kind of too loud to have any real conversations with anyone. Pretty ironic. It didn’t matter much anyway. They talked to a few new people before retiring to sitting outside on a patio-type thing. Hannah had joined them again.
They stuck around for another half hour or so before heading back to the hotel. Back up the elevator and to Skeppy’s room.
“Should we watch something? I’m not really ready to sleep,” Bad suggested once they had cleaned up and gotten in bed. It had been silently agreed upon that Bad was staying another night in his room.
He nodded, “Room service dessert?”
“That sounds perfect,” Bad smiled.
So they called down and lied about it being one of their birthdays so they could get a cake. The hotel restaurant didn’t have any other appetizing dessert options.
The cake arrived with a bag of candles and a lighter.
Skeppy took them and the cake from his doorstep with an amused grin.
They lit the candles and blew them out before digging into the cake with plastic forks. It tasted alright.
They scrolled on their phone while a random ‘on demand' movie played, the cake having now been set aside. It really hadn’t tasted very good in the long run.
Bad huffed out a small laugh and held his phone over to Skeppy, “Have you seen this?”
Skeppy took it, squinting at the video. It was one of Hannah’s Snapchat stories, nothing special really. Puffy and Hannah were talking, and they seemed to be backstage for one of the panels, “No, what’s wrong with it?”
“Nothing really…Just pay attention to the background.”
He grabbed the phone from Bad, holding it closer to his face. And, “Oh.”
“Yeah.”
It wasn’t much. He remembered the moment. When Bad had been off in the bathroom or something and returned, wrapping an arm around Skeppy, “That’s not really out of character for us.”
Bad shrugged as he took his phone back from Skeppy, “I guess not.”
Skeppy frowned down at his hands. A Tiktok that was playing on a loop on his phone. He turned it off and flipped over to face Bad, “I know it’s a bad idea but sometimes I just… I don’t know.”
Bad paused the movie and looked at Skeppy, “What’s a bad idea?”
“Telling people about us, like everyone. It just gets to me occasionally. It’s kinda stupid. Like I know we shouldn’t, and we’ve both agreed we won’t,” Skeppy said. He ran the bed duvet between his fingers.
“I don’t think that’s stupid, Skeppy. It’s difficult for me sometimes, too,” He paused, “Would you want things to change?”
“You mean, like, tell people?” He tentatively asked, surprised Bad would even suggest that.
Bad shrugged, “If that’s what you wanted, we could talk about it more.”
“I don’t think I want that. Like I don’t want to confirm it outright, you know?”
“Yeah, I agree. I guess we could just stop caring as much… I think everyone will read anything we do or say as a joke anyway. Do you think that would help you?”
“I do. I don’t want to feel like I’m constantly hiding something anymore. It’s just exhausting, and that’s become really apparent to me. Especially today,” He added on.
Bad chuckled, “I could kind of tell you were super cuddly at that party,” He shifted so he was lying down and patted the spot next to him. Skeppy moved over, throwing a leg atop Bad’s and resting his head on his chest. Bad continued, “But in all seriousness, we can stop trying to hide stuff. Leaving everything up to interpretation will at least give us something to hide behind, you know? Because I don’t think I’m ready to confirm anything, probably not for a long while, honestly…”
“I’m not either,” Skeppy yawned, “You know what, Bad?”
“Hmm..?” Bad hummed and placed his hand on Skeppy’s head, rubbing his thumb into his scalp.
“It’s a big secret, and you can’t tell a single soul.”
“What?” Bad asked curiously, his hand stilling.
“I’m serious; promise you won’t tell anyone.”
“I promise. Now, what is it?”
“You promise?” Skeppy confirmed.
“Yes, Skeppy.”
“I love you.”
Bad let out a long-winded sigh, and his hand started combing through his hair again, “I love you too, idiot.”