Work Text:
Crack.
Iwaizumi’s head snapped back from the impact, explosive pain blooming at his jaw. His body jolted about, wrenching from the restraints of the ropes. He let out a small hiss through his gritted teeth and dropped his head.
“Ready for round seven?” The older male asked, a wide sneer painted on his face. He was making a wide gesture of rolling his shoulder and swinging a few punches an inch from Iwaizumi’s face for any reactions. There was a wave of laughter from his two subordinates who observed behind him. Iwaizumi refrained from rolling his eyes.
He despised men like these – always desperate to prove their dominance through a one-sided fight. How distasteful. He shifted slightly, feeling the ropes dig in to his wrists sharply. He was propped up in a steel chair, the lack of cushioning causing his back to ache. He let out an irritated sigh, glancing about the huge warehouse. ‘Where are you, Tooru?’
“Hey, don’t get distracted,” The male ordered. He placed a thick finger under Iwaizumi’s chin, lifting it up towards him. “The fun is only just beginning.”
Iwaizumi let out a disgruntled noise. “Well, hurry up then. I’m falling asleep.” That earned him another sharp slap across the face. His skull rattled and he choked in pain.
The man snorted, leaning back to examine him. “You must be either a masochist or an idiot. To think you managed to survive this long is, quite frankly, unfathomable to me. It seems though your luck has run dry,” He tilted forward, nose-to-nose and gazed in to Iwaizumi’s eyes. “Which is why I am going to give you a proposition.”
Oh Jesus. Iwaizumi inwardly cringed. This guy was so textbook villain it hurt more than his actual punches. “I’d prefer to just stay here in this comfy chair, thanks-“ His head snapped back so hard it hit the metal back of the chair. He groaned in pain. A tooth wobbled threateningly and he ran a tongue over it. Oikawa was going to kill him if he came home with a gap in his teeth. Nope, still intact. What a relief.
“You are much thick-headed than I thought.” The man tilted his head, gazing down at him with a sad expression. “Or perhaps I've rattled it too hard, I’m not too sure.” This made the other men laugh once more, like mindless hyenas. Their cackles echoed throughout the large building.
He was getting in to Iwaizumi’s personal space again, the way they always did when they wanted to appear larger than they actually were. “You have just one chance, okay spy?” His breath was hot and musky and Iwaizumi tightened his lips. “I am giving you a once in a lifetime opportunity. Quite literally.”
He pulled back, reaching in to his back pocket. A gold-plated PPK 380 was shoved in Iwaizumi’s face, and he blinked slowly directly in to the barrel. It was a flashy piece of weapon – the weight of it making it near impossible to carry in a fast mission. But it was immensely strong with a recoil-operated autoloading function. At this given distance it was more than likely his entire head was going to get blown off. Iwaizumi’s fingers twitched with envy. Oikawa would never let him keep a baby like that at home. Lucky bastard.
“You can join me. I’ll work you like a dog but you’ll be granted a chance to live. You’ll do small jobs; assassinations, escorting me from destinations. Sounds like a pretty decent deal to me,” The man eyed him carefully, watching for any reaction. He found none. “Or, well, I think we both know what happens if you were to refuse.”
Iwaizumi lifted his gaze from the gun up at the other. He stared blankly for several moments because that always seemed to rile them up. The agent didn’t reply. He simply smiled, flashing a set of bloodied teeth.
The man shook his head. His thumb reached up, cocking the gun. “That’s what I thought.”
Bang!
Iwaizumi clenched his stomach, ears ringing from the loudness. The man stared widely in surprise. He took a step forward, tottering slightly, then stumbled to his knees and collapsed. Right in Iwaizumi’s lap. Iwaizumi grimaced, worming about to move the heavy weight off him. “Terrible aim, Tooru.”
“What the fuc-“ The other two men boggled at the sight of their boss’ body before fumbling to pull out their guns. There were another two sharp successions of a gun shot and they flew back from the sudden impact, screaming as they clutched their burst-open shoulders.
“Sorry, sorry! I was caught up infiltrating the outside. Gosh, they had at least six rabid bloodhounds and you know how much I hate killing animals,” Oikawa’s voice echoed, and Iwaizumi peered over at the far east to find the familiar mop of caramel brown hair. Oikawa was busy making his way down, leaping casually from one pole to another crate before he landed silently and pattered over.“Besides, it’s always good to be fashionable late-eek!” He let out an alarmed shriek.
“Oh my god!” He rushed over, pausing to shove the dead man aside. “Your face! And we have the wedding today! Iwa-chan, what did I tell you?”
Iwaizumi glared back, moving his head around to escape Oikawa’s clutch on his face. “I know, I know. It’s not like I wanted to get my face beaten.”
“Oh jees, Iwa-chan you just couldn’t help provoking them, could you?” Oikawa scolded, crossing his arms. “Makeup isn’t going to cover all this!”
He reached down, patting his back pockets and pulling out a crumpled handkerchief. Ignoring the annoyed complaints, he wiped madly at the grit on Iwaizumi’s face. He pulled back to examine then let out a frustrated noise. “Unbelievable. What’s the excuse going to be this time? Fell off the balcony? Oh wait, you already used that last month!"
Iwaizumi rolled his eyes, shooting his husband an irritated look. “I’ll tell them you hit me instead then.”
Oikawa inhaled sharply and smacked him lightly on the chest. “You wouldn’t dare.”
Iwaizumi winced slightly. He’d been beaten there repeatedly with a crowbar earlier. Fresh pangs of pain bloomed over his already sore chest. He straightened his back casually, hoping to pass it off. Of course it didn’t go unnoticed.
Oikawa’s eyes darted down at his shirt questioningly. “What? What’s wrong? Does your chest hurt?”
“No,” he replied a little too quickly.
“You never react unless it’s bad.”
“I’m fine.”
Oikawa’s eyes sharpened as he leaned in. He pressed a thumb gently on the other’s chest. Iwaizumi stayed still until the press turned in to a dig and he squirmed about. “Ow, ow, okay. It hurts a little, alright?”
Oikawa stared at him deadpanned and Iwaizumi found himself avoiding his husband’s accusing gaze. “Could you untie me already? This chair is moulding my ass like a legoman,” he joked half-heartedly.
Oikawa didn’t reply, slowly straightening himself without breaking the eye-contact. He spun abruptly, facing to the target's subordinates who were still cradling their open wounds.
“Who was it.” He murmured, voice low and deadly. Neither replied, trembling as they lay there half-curled. Oikawa turned to the man on the right. He pointed. “You? Was it you?” He approached the other, crouching down near him. “Did you hurt my husband?”
The man let out a frightened sob. Iwaizumi rolled his eyes. “We’re going to be late Tooru,” he called. “Suga won’t be happy.”
This seemed to irk Oikawa as he stayed still before letting out a deep sigh. “Alright, alright. I’ll get HQ to come pick these two up,” He stood up walking back to untie Iwaizumi. “Oh, but don’t take this as a good thing,” he called out as he unlooped the heavy knots around his husband’s wrists. “Wait till I come back. We’ll have so much time to talk about your organisation and your bomb importation plan.”
He turned, watching them over his shoulder. His eyes were hooded in an icy stare. “By the time I’m done with you, you’re going to wish you were dead.”
Iwaizumi let out a snort. He often found it amusing how others outside their profession viewed Iwaizumi as the ‘rough’ partner. They just had no idea. He let out a relieved sigh as he rolled his wrists, feeling the prickly sensation of circulation returning. Iwaizumi reached over, lightly smacking Oikawa on the back of his head. “Quit being so dramatic. We need to go.”
Oikawa let out a small whine, nursing his head. “Iwa-chan, look what you did! Now I need to redo my hair,” He lifted his sleeve to check his wristwatch. “Ugh, darn it. We’re going to be late.”
⚜
It was always a mad struggle of twister getting changed in a moving car. Iwaizumi had placed the car on auto-pilot, already whizzing off to their destination. He reached over for his clothes, being elbowed at least three times on the way. “Where are my shoes? Oikawa, did you pack my shoes?”
“In the far right of the backseat. I put them in the black box,” his husband replied, fixing his hair madly using the car rear view mirror. “Have you found them?”
“No,” Iwaizumi let out a frustrated noise, yanking off his combat trousers. “There’s like four black boxes here.”
“If you didn’t accept this mission we wouldn’t be having this problem,” Oikawa grumbled, pulling off his blood-splattered clothes to reveal a crisp tux underneath.
“Really?” Iwaizumi shot him a disgruntled look. “Are we really going to have this conversation right now?”
“Okay, okay,” Oikawa muttered, twisting over to grab a pack of baby wipes from the side compartment. He pulled two sheets out and wiped the dried blood from Iwaizumi’s cheek. “Let me find them. You get changed first.”
He leaned over the backseat rummaging through whilst Iwaizumi steadied him when the car swerved sharply to the right. He eyed the time, shrugging off his shirt. “I think we’re going to make it just in time.”
“I hope we do. I hate walking in when the ceremony has already started. It feels like I’m ruining their big moment.”
Iwaizumi snorted. “You didn’t mind crashing the minister’s granddaughter’s wedding last week.”
“I had to! She was going to get assassinated!”
“Yes, well you didn’t have to shoot the guy in front of her and her family and friends, now did you? She almost turned as white as her dress,” Iwaizumi chuckled to himself, buttoning up the clean, white shirt. He was on his third button when he realised there was no reply. Iwaizumi glanced up in question.
Oikawa was frowning at his chest and he peered down to find a mass of angry red and purple splotches. “It’s really not that bad,” he replied.
Oikawa pursed his lips. He tossed the shoe box aside and smacked Iwaizumi’s hands away, unbuttoning the shirt. “You missed a button, Iwa-chan. Sheesh, you’d think someone who can diffuse a bomb within twelve seconds can button up his own shirt.”
“It was nine seconds,” Iwaizumi shot back but he stayed still, allowing his husband to fuss over him. Oikawa leaned back to examine him. Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow. “We good to go?”
“Wait,” Oikawa stuck his tongue out, swiped his thumb over it and rubbed at Iwaizumi’s forehead.
“Eurgh Toor- no, stop,” Iwaizumi grimaced, pushing the other back.
“You had some blood on your face!”
“Yeah, and now I have your saliva too.”
“Quit complai-“ The two stumbled forward, ramming their shoulders on the back of the front seat as the car jolted to a halt.
‘You have arrived at your destination.’
“Eurgh,” Iwaizumi groaned, holding his aching ribs. Oikawa was frantic, grabbing Iwaizumi’s shoes from the box and tossing it over to him. He caught them mid-air, stomping his feet in and shrugging on the jacket. “Okay, I think we’re good.”
“Okay, uh, okay yeah,” Oikawa reached over, smoothing down Iwaizumi’s hair and giving him a nod of approval. “That’s as good as it’ll get. We even have two minutes to spare.”
The two got out, facing one another as they smoothed down their jackets. “Alright,” Iwaizumi muttered. He tossed the keys to the nearby valet and his shoes clicked as he strolled to the entrance of the function centre. “It’s show time.”
⚜
“Oh, you made it!” Suga waved them over, looking both thankful and frantic. “Perfect timing t-oh my god, Iwaizumi what happened to you?!” He gaped at the other, staring wide-eyed at his split lip and swelling black eye.
Iwaizumi flashed a nervous laugh. “I fell.”
“Again? What are you doing, walking in clown shoes or something? Oh gosh, that looks so painful you poor thing!” Suga etched his brows together with worry as he waved someone over for a first aid kit.
“I’ve had worse,” Iwaizumi replied honestly, loosening his bow. A pair of hands curled in from behind, fixing his bow again.
“It’s worse for me. He’s always going off hurting himself and I have to deal with this everyday. It’s like he holds no considerations for me and my feelings,” Oikawa pouted at Suga. He rubbed his hands over Iwaizumi’s shoulders gently. “He’s a selfish one, this one.”
Iwaizumi rolled his eyes. “It’s not like I purposely fall all over the place. It just happens,” He let out a surprised wheeze when Suga whacked him across the chest.
“Be more careful next time,” he scolded. "How is it that an accountant has as many bruises and cuts as a daredevil?" He turned to pull out some ointment from the kit box, missing the way Iwaizumi bit his lip in pain and Oikawa shot him an alarmed look.
“Here, I’ll do it. You go ahead, Suga. Today’s your big day,” He smiled widely. Suga blinked several times before passing the cream over.
“Oh gosh, you’re right. Oh god! Today’s the day! I still can’t believe this is happening!” He smoothed out his hair, flashing a nervous smile. “Thanks again for coming today.”
“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Iwaizumi replied easily, holding a thumbs up. He glanced down to find crusts of blood still stuck under his nails and slipped both hands in his pockets. “Daichi must be ecstatic.”
“I would hope so,” Suga chuckled. The three paused at the sudden flow of violins playing nearby. Suga sucked a deep breath, exhaling shakily. “Okay, I really should go now. We’ll take pictures after. See you guys soon!”
They waved him off, watching as people flocked around him frantically ushering him away. Iwaizumi dropped his smile and let out a sharp hiss. “God, that hurt.”
“Suga’s punches alone hurt,” Oikawa flittered over him, eyes wide with worry. “You okay?”
“I’m fine, I’m fine. We should go to our seats too,” Iwaizumi replied, plucking the ointment from Oikawa’s hand and placing it back in the first aid. He placed a hand on his hip, glancing over at his husband. “C’mon then.”
Oikawa blinked widely, bursting in a fond smile. He tucked his arm in and the two strolled in to the wedding hall.
⚜
The wedding was a success. ‘Of course’ Iwaizumi thought to himself. Suga had planned it afterall. Most of the guests had flocked to the buffet, the hum of chatter in the air. Suga and Daichi were busy feeding each other a piece of cake, purposely missing and smearing it on each other’s lips. Iwaizumi smiled at the sight, leaning back on the outdoor balcony railing. He had excused himself to go for some fresh air. That and his back was aching terribly. The cool marble felt good on his skin and he let out a relieved sigh. He peered over at the other side of the room to find Oikawa surrounded by a flock of women. Of course. It had always been the case since they had first met – though Iwaizumi didn’t feel threatened as he used to.
As though feeling his gaze, Oikawa glanced over, light eyes meeting with dark. He burst in to a smile and pointed over at him. The other women paused to look over at him. Iwaizumi flashed an awkward smile and lifted his hand. The group blinked in surprise and giggled amongst themselves, reaching over to lightly push Oikawa. His husband tilted his head back and from here Iwaizumi could make out the faint tinkle of his laughter.
Oikawa turned to him once more and raised his hand, gesturing him over. Iwaizumi raised an eyebrow but turned to pick up his champagne glass and walked over. He was greeted with excited coo’s and ahh’s as the women reached out, patting him down.
“My goodness, what a handsome man!”
“Hajime, was it? What have you done to your face, honey? Oh you poor baby.”
“You weren’t kidding about the arms, Tooru. Have you felt them Samantha? Come have a touch!”
Iwaizumi smiled politely, gritting his teeth whenever they accidently brushed over his chest. Oikawa grinned knowingly and shot him an apologetic look. Once the women were satisfied with their exploring, they leaned back and shot them a devilish smile.
“Well?” they chorused. “How did it happen then?”
Iwaizumi blinked slowly at them. “Sorry?”
“You know,” ‘Samantha’ urged. “How did you two get married?”
Iwaizumi paused. He took a sip of his drink, glancing over at Oikawa. They met eyes. Oikawa burst in to a fond smile. “Oh, it was so unexpected. We were at the beach-“
“It was after a dinner out,” Iwaizumi added after.
“The weather was horrid.”
“Very windy.”
The two carried on sharing their story to the group. The women had huddled in closer, completely engrossed and clinging on to their every word with wide eyes and eager nods.
The proposal story was fake, of course. They had perfected their story over the years – It was so foolproof, they had calculated the exact response adding in small jokes and minor details like the way Oikawa had curled his toes in to the sand the moment Iwaizumi dropped on to one knee. It was much easier than having to explain how Iwaizumi had actually proposed when they were stranded in the desert overnight, bodies stricken with hypothermia and Oikawa was struggling to bind his foot to stop the poison from spreading, having being bitten in the ankle by a snake. Whilst lying there, his body spasming in uncontrollable sessions and drowsiness taking over, Iwaizumi wasn’t sure if they were going to even survive the night. He figured he’d do one final thing right.
“And then what did you say, Iwa-chan?” Iwaizumi blinked out of his thoughts to find everyone watching him in anticipation, Oikawa included. Up this close, he had slight bags under his eyes from lack of sleep and his hair was still slightly ruffled up from where Iwaizumi had smacked him earlier.
“I said I may not be perfect but I promise I’ll try to make you as happy as you’d make me,” he murmured. That was the only section they didn’t change in their story. The corners of Oikawa’s eyes crinkled as he smiled deeply.
There was a loud chorus of hysterical shrieks and several ladies swooned over with delight. “Oh, what a gentleman!” they cried out, fanning themselves. “Tooru, you lucky devil!”
Oikawa chuckled, reaching over to lightly touch Iwaizumi’s shoulder. “Oh, he’s only like this when he wants to be, and trust me, it’s very rarely. Iwa-chan can be such a brute too sometimes!” He let out a yelp when his husband smacked his hand off. “See! He’s so mean to me!” He pouted, fluttering his eyes.
The women opened their mouths to defend him but were interrupted by a deep voice.
“Hi everyone, Daichi here. Just wanted to say a huuuge thank you for coming today. I love you guys. Every single one of you.” Daichi was standing on the stage with the band, mouth pressed in to the mic. It was quite clear he had drunk a fair amount from the way he was struggling to stand up straight, almost falling off the stage several times. His voice was slightly slurred as he flashed a silly smile, raising his empty glass. “I love all of you guys. Especially you, Koushi. You're my sugarpuff,” he pointed over at Suga who was trying his best to usher him off the stage, laughing as he did.
From here Iwaizumi could make out what Suga was saying from the movement of his lips. “Daichi, honey, you should get off the stage now. Tanaka over there is recording and trust me, you’re going to regret this in the morning.” Beside him, Oikawa let out a huff of laughter, most likely having lip-read Suga aswell.
“Ladies, perhaps you should help Suga over there. As much as I’d love to watch this, it looks like Daichi is going to fall and crush his newly-wed husband,” Oikawa called. The women nodded in agreement, rushing over frantically as Daichi swayed about, fighting over the mic with the hired wedding singer.
Iwaizumi snorted at the sight. He tilted his head back, polishing off his champagne and sighed. The wedding was nice but now he was just exhausted. His chest was aching heavily and he rubbed at it over his tux.
“Is it bothering you a lot?”
Iwaizumi glanced over at Oikawa watching. “Nah, just a little tired s’all.”
He examined his husband and he could see the mission was taking its toll on him too. Oikawa was leaning heavily on the table nearby, arms crossed. He was blinking slowly, the way he always did when he was fatigued. “You look good,” Iwaizumi murmured softly. He gestured at the tux. “Suits you.”
Oikawa didn’t reply, staring at him for a while before pushing himself off the table. Iwaizumi had already held his left arm out and Oikawa leaned in to the half-hearted embrace. They remained like that for several moments, Iwaizumi listening to the soft breaths of the other.
“I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner.”
“It’s alright,” Iwaizumi murmured in to Oikawa’s hair. It smelt nice. “We completed the mission in one piece. It’s all that counts.”
He glanced around to find they were no longer the centre of attention. Most of the wedding attendees had left or were now flocking around Suga and his impressively large diamond ring. He huffed in amusement. Suga and Daichi were a good match. He was happy for them.
“What’s so funny?”
“Hm?” Iwaizumi glanced over at Oikawa watching him with curiosity. “Just thinking how happy I am,” He reached over, tugging his husband in closer. Iwaizumi leaned in, mouth over the other’s ear. “You did well today, by the way.”
Oikawa melted in his arms, always pleased whenever Iwaizumi was openly affectionate with him. “You’re in a good mood.”
“Mm,” he agreed, placing his empty glass of champagne aside to hold Oikawa properly. “I can’t help it, you did so well. Took down the target and we now have access to the inside ring of the organisation – not to mention you did it all by yourself. Well done.”
“It’s not a big deal, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa was practically gushing, a wide smile plastered on his face.
“And I mean, the guy was huge too. One of the big bosses I heard,” Iwaizumi continued, muffling his face in to the other’s hair. “The guy with the big guns.”
He felt Oikawa freeze in his embrace before leaning back. He was squinting over at Iwaizumi in an unamused expression. “You are not keeping the PPK.”
“Pretty please?”
Oikawa leaned back, jabbing an accusing finger in to the other’s shoulder. “I knew it! You’re never this affectionate unless you want something. Don’t think I didn’t see you eyeing it when we left that warehouse!”
Iwaizumi let go of him, irritation flashing on his face. “Oh come on, it’s just one. Did you see the intricate gold-plated etching too? Do you know how rare they are to come by nowadays? Let me just keep this one, I promise I’ll take better care of it than its previous owner.”
“No! You always do this! Our house is nowhere near big enough to fit all these ridiculous weapons you bring, Iwa-chan! Absolutely not!”
“I can’t believe you called our children ridiculous.”
“Our children are not guns, Iwa-chan! We already have eight at home too! You have an obsession!” Oikawa argued back. “Hey, where do you think you’re going?”
“I’m going to call in for another mission,” Iwaizumi called, taking off his jacket and swinging it over his shoulder. “Maybe I can get them to pick me up straight from here. Hopefully it’s a big job,” he added knowing full well just how much Oikawa hated it when he overworked himself on unnecessary missions.
His plan worked and Oikawa tailed him like a shadow, fussing over his fresh wounds which left Iwaizumi both irritated and deeply pleased. If life was like this, he supposed he could do with one less gun.