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Lieutenant Commander Tim Laurence had only been working at Buckingham Palace in his new role as equerry to Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, for a few weeks, yet he was adapting with a relative ease to life working for the Royal Family. During his brief tenure, he had already met most everyone in the Royal Family, and for the most part, they all were relatively pleasant, contrary to public perception. He was warned to avoid the ‘gossip’ sessions between the Queen Mother, Princess Margaret, and Queen Elizabeth at all costs. While they were never officially called ‘gossip’ sessions, other staff members used the term to describe the meetings of the three ladies, as they all knew that likely was what took place. To save him from having to endure it, they cautioned him so he would not get caught up in their notions, although he had already been called in during one of the meetings and could not help but feel the eyes of Princess Margaret glancing him up and down.
The one member of the Royal Family who had surprised him the most was Her Royal Highness, Princess Anne. If he cared to admit, he had always found her attractive, however he was always a little apprehensive about her as he had only heard negative comments about her from many people. Yet the first time he met her, he was pleasantly surprised. Instantly, he could tell she was a well-guarded individual in that she always kept her guard up to not allow anyone close to her, which he understood. Nonetheless, he was equally impressed with her knowledge, dedication, and her tough work ethic. They had exchanged pleasantries, and she would acknowledge him in the rare times that their paths crossed. He always felt somewhat surprised that she knew who he was, but she did. The first time they had met, she even asked him a few questions about The Royal Navy and his service, which made an impression on him. Sadly, even she did not escape the staff members comments being made about her. Tim tried to avoid the staff members ‘gossip’ hours as much as he tried to avoid the Royal ladies. He wanted to try to keep an open mind and form his own opinions on those he worked with and for.
Late one evening, after finally finishing all the tasks that had been left for him, as he despised leaving anything pending for the next day, he left his office and was walking along the long corridors of the Palace heading toward his room on the second floor. Each evening, as he returned to his lodging area, he would take his time to stop and study some painting or artifact or something in various areas throughout the Palace. He found the array of items adorning the walls, cabinets, or tables impressive and wanted to know as much as he could about each item. As he was studying an unusual piece of artwork on the second floor, he could have sworn that he heard sniffling or possibly the sound of someone who was or had been crying.
Proceeding cautiously, Tim turned and walked in the direction from where the noise was emanating. The closer he got toward the area, the louder the sniffles seemed, which clearly indicated to him that someone was upset or, God forbid, something had happened. He stood outside a door that was partially cracked open. He was not entirely sure what was behind that door as he assumed it was some type of ballroom or drawing room, as he knew it was not anyone’s office space nor lodging room. He was still trying to adjust to the layout, but from what he had studied on the maps, he knew the general area but could honestly attest to not having entered all the rooms. He hesitated for a moment unsure over what to do as he hated to leave anyone who may need assistance, but he also realized this could be someone who needed to merely escape for a private moment, of which he did not dare want to interrupt.
Cautiously, Tim proceeded to push the slightly ajar door open a little further before peering his head inside the doorway. It was dark in the room, as the lights were off, so the only light was cascading in through the windows from the streets of London. He quickly glanced around the room to gauge the setting before his eyes fell upon the individual standing with her back turned toward the door. She appeared to be staring out the window with one hand cradling her face or wiping tears from her eyes. He knew instantly who this was, and his stomach did a flip-flop as this could land him in a world of trouble. If she sensed his presence, she never turned. Realizing she appeared to be okay physically, part of him said to leave as this was likely a very private moment, but another part said to stay and be of some type of assistance. It was almost as if he were paralyzed and glued to the floor as he could not move if he tried.
Gently and quietly, he cleared his throat to let his presence be known before softly questioning, “Your Royal Highness?”
Obviously, she had not known he was there as he watched her jump, albeit it very slightly, in a startled like manner before she spun very quickly on her heels to face him. Even though the distance of the room separated them, through the darkness he could still see a brief look of surprise flash through her eyes at the realization of who he was before her expression retorted to what was typically her expressionless face. For once, he utterly feared he was about to be reprimanded. A few seconds passed and neither uttered a word. The lone sniffle from her was the only sound that was made. Going where angels feared to tread, he stepped further into the room and the heels of his shoes echoed loudly in the vast darkness.
“Ma’am?” he questioned as he took a few more steps towards where she stood resolutely still almost as if she had turned into a stone statute. “Is everything okay? Are you alright?” he questioned and then scolded himself internally as he had broken a rule of protocol in asking questions when he was only supposed to respond and react, never question.
He studied her near frozen appearance and wondered if she was trying to be invisible until she moved a step in his direction. He prepared for a verbal assault on how dare he enter the room, how dare he question her, yet she stepped closer toward him and studied him with great intensity. With the faint glow of the streetlamps outside, he could see tear stains evident upon her cheeks. He knew this woman never cried, or if she did, it was always in private. So, for her to have been crying, something was clearly disturbing her, and for him to have walked in on her, he wanted to kick himself in the hide.
“I apologize, ma’am, for interrupting. I heard a noise and feared that someone may be hurt. I’ll excuse myself now,” he added and took one step backward.
“No, you don’t have to leave,” she replied. Her voice was not as confident and firm as he expected but almost shaky and uncertain.
Nodding his head, he quickly glanced her over to ensure she was not harmed. “Can I get you some water or anything?” he questioned softly as he was unsure what to do, let alone why she had told him he did not have to go.
She shook her head no but made no additional comment for a few moments before she finally spoke. “It’s a pity you had to catch me in such a state,” she whispered yet in the deafness of the room, her voice carried like a roar of a lion. “I do not make it a habit of crying, especially in front of other people,” she stated firmly and arched an eyebrow almost as if sending him a coded message.
He stepped another step in her direction. “You don’t have to worry, ma’am. I won’t say one word, but, for what it’s worth, sometimes, it’s good, for the soul, to cry and let things out. I view it as a soul-cleansing of sorts,” he paused and shook his head in disbelief as he could not believe he had just said that to her, of all people.
She took a step closer to him, and again he braced for some sort of brazen scolding. Yet, that scolding never transpired. Instead, he saw a faint smile creep across her face before it quickly faded.
“I appreciate your being willing to check on whomever was in here to ensure that they were not harmed. That’s very admirable of you, Lt. Commander Laurence,” Princess Anne replied to him assuring him that she knew exactly who he was, though he had a feeling she did the moment he initially stated her title.
“Of course, ma’am. If there’s anything I can do, I’m more than happy to get you something if you need it.”
The faint smile again but did it possibly last a little bit longer? He pondered but realized he had to be dreaming. He could tell she was fighting her inner emotions, but he knew not to press her for anything.
“I appreciate that, but I will be okay.”
He merely nodded in response and studied her for a moment. “Would you care to talk about it?” he questioned and shocked his own self. As soon as he had asked it, his mouth fell open in shock. It was a simple question, and one that he would ask most anyone else to offer his support, but to dare ask Princess Anne, that was a big no-no. He opened his mouth to apologize, and she sensed it.
“Please don’t feel the need to apologize. I appreciate your gesture, truthfully. And to be honest, I would talk about it, but I just don’t feel up to it right now. Rain check?” she questioned him and watched as another look of surprise danced across his face.
“Anytime, ma’am. I’m always willing to lend an ear. If there’s anything I could do to assist, I would gladly do so. And I can promise you that whatever would be said, would always remain between us,” he paused and watched as she studied him very closely almost as if she were reading his body language and responses checking for the validity behind his comments.
She paused and tilted her head to the side. “I know you would to everything you just said,” she stated and turned her back before walking to glance back out the window. “As a little girl this was my favorite place to come hide. I always thought the view from this window was remarkable. It’s probably my favorite view here at Buckingham. I would come here to seek solace and try to escape. Funny that you should be the one to find me here, I suppose, as no one else ever did or maybe they never cared to come find me.”
He did not know what to say, and he certainly did not dare move closer though he was curious what the view outside the window was of. He remained rooted in his spot as God forbid an usher or anyone else were to walk by and find him, a mere servant, in a dark room with The Queen’s only daughter. Yet his heart tugged at the tone of her voice as he felt there was a good amount of sadness emanating from underneath her facade.
“Come have a look, Lt. Commander,” she stated and turned slightly. “I may look mean or even like a horse, as some people say, but contrary, to what they say, I don’t bite, well unless it’s warranted.”
He shook his head at the comment as he did not think that in the slightest, though he had heard the comment made and defended her without her knowledge to the individuals whom he had heard say it. He stepped toward the window and peered out over the skyline of London. It was an exquisite view and one that he could understand why she appreciated it.
“This is a beautiful view, ma’am. I can see why this place would bring great comfort. And, well, if I may say so myself, why anyone would ever compare you to a horse is beyond me. While you may be superb at riding, and while horses are intriguing beasts, I would never compare you to looking like one, and I am sorry that people have done so. You are extremely knowledgeable, gifted, hard-working, dedicated, loyal, and quite attractive,” he replied and instantly glanced down at his feet embarrassed at his own boldness for admitting things he liked about her.
She slightly gasped and felt her cheeks go flush, though thankfully, in the dark, it was unable to be seen.
“Thank you,” she barely whispered not entirely sure what else to say as she was humbled by his comments. “I’m honored by your words, Lt. Commander, and quite surprised you’ve even noticed,” she added before pointing out the window in the general direction of the Wellington Arch in the distance. “I like this view because it’s not all city and buildings as the other side is. I like being able to see the parks and green grass. Hear the birds chirping and not the chatter of tourists milling about at the gates. I’m not the city girl that everyone assumes I am,” she stated and stopped.
He glanced over at her and smiled as he felt privileged in some unusual way that she had willingly allowed him to stay and opened this small private part of her life to him. He a mere equerry, and she, the daughter to His Sovereign. How his life had changed, but he was not about complain.
“I understand that ma’am. While the city can have its perks, I too prefer a more solitary life of the countryside. Although, if I’m being totally truthful, I would ultimately prefer life on the water.”
She chuckled lightly. “Ever the Royal Naval officer, I see?”
“Well, while I do enjoy serving in The Royal Navy, I love being out on a boat just exploring various places. I have some friends up in Scotland, and there’s nothing more than I like to just escape to the sea. While this room may be your comfort and solace, mine is somewhere at sea just drifting and thinking.”
“That sounds like heaven,” she replied and glanced up at him for once realizing just how tall this man was as he towered over her. “Well, I appreciate your keeping me company for a little bit, but I guess I best be going.”
“Would you care for me to escort you to your residence, ma’am?” he questioned hesitantly and watched as she paused before she responded.
“Actually, I would very much like that, if you don’t mind?”
“Not in the least,” he replied and followed her out the door and into the main corridors where they walked side by side in silence toward her residence in the Palace. As they neared the door to her main room, he stopped as he was not about to step further into her area. “Ma’am?” he questioned and watched as she stopped a few paces ahead and turned back to him.
“Yes, Lt. Commander?”
“I meant what I said earlier. If you do ever need anyone to talk to, I’m always willing to listen. It’s not my place to pry, but whatever has upset you, just know that everything will somehow work itself out. It’s okay to have some cloudy and rainy moments at times,” he said referring to her tears without saying he had caught her crying. “But, in due time, the storms will pass.”
“Thank you, Lt. Commander. I appreciate that, and yes, I know your door will be open, and don’t be shocked if I take you up on that offer one day,” she replied before turning the knob to her door. “Goodnight, Lt. Commander.”
“Goodnight, Your Royal Highness,” he stated and bowed his head before quickly and quietly retreating to his own room to turn in for the evening but not before writing something down and sticking it in an envelope.
Arising earlier than normal the next morning, Tim summoned one of the ushers.
“Good morning, Lt. Commander. Is there something you needed?”
“Ah, yes! Good morning, Paul. Could you make sure that Her Royal Highness, Princess Anne, is given this? I was supposed to drop it off last night, but I failed to do so.”
The young man took the small envelope from his hand and disappeared. Tim had partially lied about the ‘dropping it off last night’ part, but he was not about to let on to the fact that the envelope was from him. He hoped that what was about to be delivered would bring a smile to her face and help boost her spirits some. He had no right to know what had upset her, but something tugged on his heart after their encounter last night. He was surprised at her opening up to him, albeit very briefly, and allowing him to stay and not lecture him about violating protocol. He would not push the issue, but he did want her to know that she had someone on her side.
Princess Anne had slept in a little, which was unusual for her. She had a meeting with her staff that morning before she left the Palace for a few engagements. The soft knock on her door alerted her to the fact that her breakfast and likely papers had arrived. She walked into her seating room to find the tray, but an envelope laying on top of the papers caught her attention. The handwriting on the envelope was not one she was familiar with, and how it had gotten past her office and the protocol made her a little leery, but it was such a tiny envelope, she knew it had to be harmless.
She carefully opened the envelope and pulled out the small note and unfolded it and instantly noticed the Buckingham Palace letterhead, realizing this had come from someone within.
Your Royal Highness –
A note to say that I hope your day is a little brighter and the clouds are slowly lifting. Always keep this quote in mind – “Keep your face always toward the sunshine and the shadows will fall behind you.” Know that whatever you are going through, you can and will rise above it all, and you will continue to shine brightly like the sun. Even on days when rain showers may be necessary, know that the sun is always shining somewhere for you.
Yours sincerely - Tim
Anne’s face broke out into a wide smile as no one had ever been so thoughtful and caring to send her such a kind note, especially from someone who worked for them. She knew with Lt. Commander Tim Laurence; she had found an instant confidante. There was just something about the way he supported her and encouraged her. She knew it from the moment she met him with the ease in which they talked about The Royal Navy, and last night and this note only solidified the fact. She re-read the note a few more times before carefully putting it in her briefcase. She would carry this little ray of sunshine with her wherever she went and always be reminded of him and his kindness. Today would most definitely be a good day!