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It was a memory, at first. A happy one. One where she and her mother were running on the prairie, just days after she was apprenticed. They were racing, xe remembered that much.
Mockingmelody was laughing, opening her mouth to call out a taunt as she passed xem. There wasn't a sound in the dream. There never was. They felt themself grin and push their legs harder against the ground, though it felt disconnected, like they weren't actually the one doing it.
They passed their mother, glancing back to make sure they were far enough to slow down again, only to come to a hard stop.
Mockingmelody was nowhere to be found. Well, that wasn't exactly true. She was right in front of xem, after all. Just not alive.
The molly's neck was completely ripped out, parts of her body in varying states of decay. Maggots were squirming about in her eyes and mouth, and just under the skin if the faint movement and bulging meant anything.
The ground around them is soaked in blood, so soaked it couldn't absorb anymore of the liquid. Raptoreater took a step back as the blood started pooling on top of the dirt, spreading out in a wide pool and heading straight for them.
The sun was hot overhead.
Mockingmelody kept decaying.
The molly tried to force her legs to move, to run run run, but they refused to obey her.
She was freezing from the inside out. She could feel the ice clawing at her chest, crawling up her throat and behind her eyes.
The sun was getting brighter. Or maybe it was just her eyes? Her sight was starting to black out, dots swarming in the corners of her vision.
Xe wanted to blink, to chase the darkness away, but xyr eyes were frozen wide open. Xyr breath was coming out in huffs of warmth, offering temporary reprieve until the cold snuck right back in.
Mockingmelody blinked.
Her mother, little more than bones at this point, stood up and lurched towards her, maw wide.
The once beautiful molly was leaking blood, bones and the occasional rotten bit of flesh stained red in it.
Raptoreater was still frozen.
They couldn't run.
They couldn't
Breathe
Mockingmelody came ever closer.
Her mother's corpse lurched forward again, spitting out maggots and blood. The vile mixture landed at their paws, the small white bugs crawling over their claws.
They felt sick.
Without any warning it all went dark.
Raptoreater couldn't tear her eyes away from the floor.
It was so, so cold.
Talons latched onto her pelt and finally Raptoreater moved.
The molly leapt forward with a scream - silent, always silent here - but the talons only tightened. They were lifting her. Up, up, up, and up until she could see everything.
The hawk dug its talons deeper, blood soaking her pelt. All she could do was writhe. Writhe and scream and know no one would hear her.
The feeling was familiar. Body light and floating, the sharp sting of near tears behind her eyes - still so cold, frozen -, the dizzying knowledge that she was being taken far from everyone she grew up with and that come morning she wouldn't be opening her eyes again.
And then xe were falling.
Falling falling down down down down.
There was no way to stop. Xe would fall down down down until xe hit the ground and went splat.
Until xyr body and innards were all over the prairie for the next patrol to come across.
It was nauseating, watching the ground get closer and closer as clouds and wind struck at her ears.
15 feet.
Xe were still so cold. Xyr heart was struggling to beat, surrounded in what xe were sure was a blanket of solid ice.
10 feet.
They could hear, now. They could always hear around this part of the dream. Just in time to hear the screech of the hawk and the wind pulling them down faster and faster.
Was it faster? It felt faster. It always sped up.
5 feet.
Raptor screwed her eyes shut tight, curling into a ball to try and shield herself from the worst of the pain. The hawk was back, talons trying to catch in her fur again but missing by just a thread.
4 and 3 and 2 and 1.
Impact.
They never actually hit the ground, never did, just fell straight through.
It was dark and cramped underneath, and everything was numb. The persistent aches of her back and legs didn't follow her down, though she could still feel the hot and sticky sensation as blood soaked her sides. Could still feel the push and pull as the bones in her legs shattered and pressed against her skin.
They knew what it would look like when they looked. It would be at an odd angle and soaked with blood. Bones would stick out of the skin where their thigh and paw connected, red and slick with blood.
She would be able to feel every tiny shift and press and no matter how hard she bit down on her tongue, bit until it bled and ached and painted the roof of her mouth a bright scarlet, nothing would muffle her screams as the PrairieClan witch did their best to set it back.
They could feel the maggots writhe and feast just beneath their skin, filling their needs until their skeleton was picked clean.
It only got darker as xe opened xyr eyes, an endless inky void.
Nothing to occupy any space besides her.
No lights or colours to brighten everything up.
No other cats.
No one to help.
She was alone.
Alone alone alone alone alone alone.
Ice trailed down her spine and slid down her throat, the spines catching and tearing at the lining until blood flowed up and up and out, mixing with the bit from her tongue and coming out out out.
Her blood was on the floor and it was gross and still more was coming up up and out.
Her throat burned.
Another puddle.
She wanted it to stop.
Another puddle.
She felt so, so weak.
Another puddle.
Another puddle.
Another pool.
Blood was everything she could see and feel and taste and smell.
Blood was dripping from their mouth and back and legs. From the ceiling of roots and the walls of dirt and red was all they could see.
Xyr pelt was more red than brown now, xyr head more a scrambled mess of pleads and half formed thoughts and xyr voice utilized purely for heart wrenching and body shaking sobs and cries for Mockingmelody.
They couldn't breathe. Blood was flowing in their lungs and their nose and their eyes, freezing, solid.
They couldn't move. The cold from inside forced its way out of her, ripping open her skin and creeping down her side.
She was frozen to the floor. She could see the pale bluish-white of frost creeping over her paws and legs, could hear the crackling sound of ice following.
She didn't even have enough energy left to shiver, didn't have the energy to close her eyes or mouth, instead forced to stare as thick oily darkness gave way to faces.
She couldn't recognize anyone, their faces were so blurry, but she could recognize their eyes.
The Strangers' eyes were bright with hatred and amusement, watching just out of reach as she froze froze froze.
The ice was up to her shoulders now.
The Strangers still watched.
She finally felt the tears stream from her eyes and down her cheeks, freezing the moment they came in contact with her fur.
The sobs make the pain so, so much worse, the ice creeping up her throat and stomach scraping against her insides with every jolt of her body.
Still the Strangers watched.
Raptor was well on her way to blacking out when A Stranger stepped out from the hoard and towards her.
Still now details, still no recognition in her mind, just bright eyes staring her down.
She watched as the Stranger leaned back.
She watched as the others seemed to shake (in laughter? Amusement? Fear? She couldn't tell anymore).
As the one in front of her rose onto its hind legs.
As it struck down towards her throat, poised to kill.
As she jolted awake in her nest, choking on a sob.
The sun was still bright above.
She was so cold.