Chapter Text
The sound of laughter was the first thing Miles noticed. He turned the key in the ignition, consequently cutting the engine. His fingers gripped the steering wheel, knuckles white from the strain. Fleeting thoughts danced through his mind; should he have called first? Granted it was his own home, but maybe he should have let them know he was coming.
He hadn’t planned on finishing up so late, Alex and the boys had expected him home a week previous. He knew Alex was pissed with him; hadn’t even wanted him to go in the first place. They fought on the phone when Miles had told him things weren’t going according to plan. ‘I fucking knew this would happen, I knew it’ he had said, all snarky and self-righteous. Miles had felt guilty then, he knew Alex hated when he was gone, knew that he felt lonely and miserable more often than not, even with the company of the kids. He only knew this because he felt the same while Alex was away.
Parenthood hadn’t been exactly what he or Alex had anticipated. It was challenging and Miles couldn’t count all the days he swore he’d go mad, but the good far outweighed the bad. He would gladly take an infinite amount of crying fits, just to see his boys smile.
His thoughts were interrupted by the sudden brightness of the porch light illuminating the driveway. He held his breath, sure his cover had been blown, but his eldest son Damon dashed into the living room, oblivious to the world outside. A small smile appeared on his face at the sight of his son and when his youngest Jasper followed suit it doubled in size. He hadn’t realised how much he had missed them till now, longed to pick them up and hold them tight.
Alex surfaced shortly after; tired eyes and lazy smile making him look slightly older. His hair was longer now, not by much but it forced Miles to come to terms with how long he had been gone. 63 days, which to Alex were still counting. He watched as Alex perched on the edge of the settee, head leaning on the palm of his hand, watching as the boys played around his feet.
He felt a sudden wave of loneliness wash over him, dismissing the fact that his family were no more than ten feet away from him. Pocketing his keys, he opened the car door, trying and failing to move with stealth. The sound evoked curiosity in Alex forcing his eyes in Miles’ direction. He swallowed, raising his hand in a slight wave, unsure of how Alex would react. His eyes widened, but he made no sudden movement.
Venturing towards the front door, Miles hadn’t even attempted to retrieve his keys from his pocket before it was pushed open and two small bodies collided with his legs.
“Dad! I missed you!” His six-year-old shouted.
“I know you did Day. I missed you too.” He knelt down so he was eye-level with the boys who preceded to bury themselves in his chest.
“I missed you too Daddy.” The younger of the two, Jasper, whispered into his shirt. Miles didn’t respond, but pulled the boys closer, kissing them both on the crown of their heads. They stayed in that position momentarily, but young boys are restless and so Miles was soon abandoned over toy cars.
Standing up, Miles was face-to-face with his husband and enduring another wave of guilt. This close Alex looked as though he hadn’t slept in days and hadn’t genuinely smiled in much longer. He looked guarded and Miles wasn’t sure what to do.
As it turned out, he didn’t have to do anything. Alex fell forward against Miles’ chest with a soft thud, wrapping his arms around Miles’ slim middle. He was engulfed in a familiar scent of peppermint gum, brylcreem and something that was explicitly Alex; the scent of home. His arms wound around Alex’s shoulders, his fingers finding themselves entwined in his hair.
“Don’t you ever do that to me again, you fucking asshole.” Alex breathed against Miles’ neck.
Holding him close, Miles whispered into his husband's ear. “I promise you, I could never.”
The tension released itself from Alex’s shoulders and his head rose from its position in the crook of Miles’ neck. Within the space of a second, Alex’s lips were on his, hands cupping his cheeks. Miles pulled Alex’s hips against his own, his thumbs creeping under the fabric of his t-shirt and rubbing soft circles on the exposed skin. Miles sighed into the kiss, the last ounce loneliness leaving his mind.
“I’m sorry.” He murmured against Alex’s lips as they broke apart.
“I know.” Tears threatened to spill from Alex’s eyes which didn’t go unnoticed.
“Dad, why are you crying?” Damon asked, his little face scrunching up in confusion.
“I’m just really happy, baby.” Alex replied, turning his head and leaning against his husband’s chest. The boy didn’t look any less confused, but he didn’t press any further.
/ / / / /
“You missed my birthday.”
Miles smiled sadly; he knew birthdays were a big deal for a four-year-old. He hadn’t just missed birthdays: he’d missed Damon’s first football match and the first tooth fairy visit. He’d been a shitty father for the past two months and he knew he’d have to make it up to them.
“I know bud, I’m sorry. I just had some work to do.”
“Yeah, daddy said it took so long because you’re skull’s so thick.”
Miles stared blankly at his son before bursting into a fit of laughter. “Oh did he now?”
“Yeah. He said we better take after him.”
“Oh don’t worry, you already do. Come on, into bed.” Miles laughed, peeling back the duvet and helping Jasper onto the bed. Tucking him in, Mile placed a kiss on his son’s forehead and rose to turn off the main light.
“Daddy?”
“Yes, love?”
“I’m glad you’re home.”
“Me too.” Miles whispered before closing the door and making his way back downstairs.
/ / / / /
Miles’ fingers ran through the dark locks of Alex’s unusually ungreased hair. They were lazing on their shared bed, ‘Mad Men’ on the tv screen, but long forgotten about. Alex had his eyes closed, a blissful smile on his face. Miles let his eyes wander over every inch of Alex’s face, taking in every detail.
His long eyelashes swept across his cheeks and fluttered every now and then. There was a small gash along one of his angled cheekbones from the efforts of one of the boys Miles supposed. His nose was still the slightest bit too big for his face, but it made him all the more real in Miles’ eyes and his pouty lips were just as chapped and kissable as ever. Seeing him now, Miles didn’t know how he went so long without him.
Sighing, he let his head rest against one of the outrageously big decorative cushions Alex insisted on putting on their bed and began to quietly sing.
“No it’s not like any other love, this one is different because it’s us.”
“I missed your voice.”
Miles lifted his head and smiled down at Alex. “Hand in glove we can go wherever we please and everything depends upon how near you stand to me.”
“My god Miles Kane, this album better be something or I swear I’ll kill you for abandoning me.”
Miles pulled Alex up next to him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders as he leant against his chest.
“I’m sorry Al.”
Alex hummed in reply, knowing Miles wasn’t really looking for validation.
“This album’s gonna be worth it. It’s all down to my muse, an awesome guy he is. You should meet him sometime.”
Alex laughed and propped himself up on Miles’ chest.
“I hear he’s a right pain in the arse.”
“Oh he is. But I wouldn’t have him any other way.”