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His grip was like iron wrapped around his web. He could feel his nails begin to dig into the palms of his hand, looking for anything to take a solid hold on. His jaw tightened, his teeth meshing together as fear flashed through his eyes when he turned back ahead.
Inspector Singh. Thrown in the middle of the bridge, his body hovering over a small child. If Pavitr Prabahkar had never known fear in his life before, then he was sure learning it now. He had just barely managed to save the bus with his dear friend in it from falling to a pile of rubbish, and now he had to figure out how to save her father and a poor innocent child. He was sure his head was going to split open at the mere thought of it.
Pavitr struggled to pull harder at the string of his web, the bus barely moving with his efforts. His eyes continuously flashed to the crumbling of the nearby building surrounding the inspector, as he forced his mind to come up with something, anything. He huffed out a staggering breath, squinting his eyes shut as he pulled at his web again.
"I can do both!" He yelled, then muttered again to himself. As if making it clear that he had no choice but to do so. But that was much easier said than done. If he took his attention away from the bus for even half a second, he was sure the web would slip through his fingers, leading to the passengers' demise. It was a thought that made him shudder. But then he looked back at the two still trapped on the bridge.
He couldn't do both. That was the truth. And he internally cursed himself, ran himself through the mud of the earth and buried himself hundreds of feet under when even an inkling of the thought that saving a whole bus of people was better than saving just two. How dare he. To put one life over another, he was spider-man god damn it! He should be able to do both. He could cry right now if he wasn't so focused on the bus.
The relief he felt when he spotted Miles a way above the bridge was not something he'd ever be able to explain. The hope that those two could be saved as well gave him strength, and he tugged even harder to get the bus on steady ground. Miles will do it, of course he will. Of course he spotted the two left on the bridge. It's what he decided to believe, but it didn't stop him from looking over the bridge once again to make sure.
And just like the relief, it was something one couldn't comprehend, as he watched Miles efforts be stopped by a large piece of the building that had fallen in his path. And then everything started falling apart, and then rubble and rock was falling, and in his shock, he really did almost let go of the string of web. Almost.
It was like a second of his organs collapsing in on themselves, before adrenaline kicked in and the scene was blocked from his mind. Objective: get the bus to safety. So that's what he did. He carefully pulled it over the edge, and dragged it away from the catastrophe of the bridge. He could feel his heart pounding against his chest, so hard and fast he thought he might throw up in his mask.
When he finally got the bus to safety, he wanted to run and hug his friend in relief, but he couldn't feel his legs. His fingers had gone numb, his breath was so loud. He looked back to find some sort of hole forming beneath the bridge. He could only watch, his eyes widening. He didn't feel the presence of his friends beside him, his hands going to clasp around each other tightly.
"I-Is everything going to be ok?" His voice was small, unfamiliar to himself. He could hear it break, unable to stop it. He felt a hand at his shoulder, and a light squeeze. Who's hand that was, he wasn't sure. He hadn't really been paying all too much attention this whole time, his body was just moving accordingly to what was happening. Like second nature. But his mind was elsewhere. He felt as though he had left his body just moments ago, and the scene before him was like some sick and twisted nightmare that he couldn't wake up from.
Thankfully, most people got out safely. And regretfully, some hadn't. And Pavitr could feel that same sensation from before in his stomach, as he watched Gayatri double over in tears at the realization of her father's death. And he couldn't do anything. He couldn't run up and comfort her, not at the risk of his identity being revealed. He couldn't tell her sorry, for the guilt he felt was all too great. She was his best friend, and he couldn't do anything for her. He failed her.
The same hand that was on his shoulder, soon led him through a portal that one of them had opened. He followed mindlessly, the sight of Gayatri's tears plaguing his mind like a horrid disease. You wouldn't be able to notice the look in his eyes under his mask, wide and empty. Distant.
It was uncharacteristic of Pavitr to be so quiet for a long stretch of minutes, and everyone noticed it. Especially Hobie. Who had a hand rested on Pavitr's shoulder the whole way through HQ. He spun his head around to analyze their surroundings. The majority of the looks they were given were ones of relief, mixed with concern for their friend beside him. It seemed even with his mask on, they could tell Pavitr was not happy. Hell, that was easy enough to notice.
Hobie snaked a comforting arm over Pavitr's shoulder, pushing him gently against his chest as they continued to walk. The other gave no sort of reaction, not like he usually would. Hobie bent down to reach his ear, softly whispering into it in some form of comfort.
"You 'right luv?" The deep rumble of his chest and familiar voice only managed to pull Pavitr back for a single second. He meant to respond something, some sort of assurance, but the words were lost in his throat. Hobie stared down at him patiently, and before he could get anything out, they had reached Miguel and Peter, and were explaining the current situation down to the last detail.
He didn't care to listen to their voices, all mangled up together like tv static. It was all background noise. Eventually, he reached up to remove his mask, the fabric of it sticking to his face and feeling wet from sweat. He crumpled it up in his hands, staring somewhere at the floor and behind the whole crew. It's not like he usually took part in these conversations anyways, so now wouldn't make much of a difference.
Only, apparently it had. As he didn't realize that at some point the conversation had stopped, and all eyes had moved on to stare at Pavitr, who looked as though his composition was hanging on by a single thread.
"Pav?" Hobie called for him quietly, and he looked up on instinct. He eyes blinked up at the various faces watching him, his every movement. He looked at Hobie, who had an oddly worried expression on his face he didn't see often. He clutched his mask tighter, trying to mumble something out. Wondering why everyone was staring at him, putting him on the spot. Was he supposed to say something? What was there to say?
The faint sound of Peter's daughter babbling against his chest filled his ears. Loud, screaming at him. He looked at her, her wide smile and glimmering eyes that were oblivious to the world. And then he remembered. Much more clearly than before, the way Inpector Singh had looked at him. His desperation as he protected the small child on the bridge. The fear that kid must have felt, how painful it must have been, to be crushed under that mess-
Pavitr's hands dropped the mask he was holding, coming up to cover his mouth when a strained hiccup escaped him. His shoulders bunched up, and his eyes went wide again with tears brimming his lids, and another sound escaped. This one much harsher than the one before, it made his body jerk forward, a sob wracking through every bone and muscle, somehow he hadn't doubled over. It was now that he could feel that it wasn't only sweat that had littered his face, but old tears being replaced with new ones as he felt something in him completely shatter to pieces.
Hobie was the first at his side, of course he was. He always was. Miles and Gwen right behind him, watching as Pavitr bent in on himself, release sobs that had his shoulders shaking, his throat gasping for air that he was failing to obtain. His hands were shaking now, failing to muffle the sobs that ripped through his throat, so loud and raw, that it was felt throughout the entire room. Hobie pulled Pavitr into his body once again, but it was awkward and uncomfortable. Pavitr was in hysterics.
Hobie tried to to remove his hands from his mouth, feeling them shake in his own and squeezing them tight. It scared him. He had never seen Pavitr cry so hard his body reacted this way, and it scared him. Pavitr ripped his hand out of Hobie's grasp, going to clutch the cloth over his heart. It was hurting him, oh how painful it was, he could barely breathe. He choked out his words desperately to Hobie, his breath shortening on him.
"I- I couldn't save them- I couldn't save them-" He admitted, and somehow the admission made it worse. He briefly caught sight of his friends looking down at him, maybe they had tears of their own, he wasn't too sure. He couldn't tell in this state. He felt the long and strong pair of arms of Hobie's wrap around him, feeling himself crumble to the floor and bringing the punk with him.
"Oh, Pav..." Was all Hobie could say, pulling his figure close against his chest. He wailed with pain, both physical and mental. His hands had gone from numb to feeling blistered, sending sparks of pain through his hands. He could feel a bruise starting to bloom somewhere below his knee, unsure where he got it from. He remembers Gayatri, and the face one makes before they are ready to cry. How heartbroken she must be, how cruel of a passing it was. How could he have done nothing for her? How could he have let not only her father, but a small child be taken from his universe in such a way?
Pavitr began clutching onto Hobie's suit, hiding his face away and feeling shameful. He felt useless. To hell with "being spider-man is easy". How could he have been so stupid to think so? How could everyone had let him believe so? Is this what all of them felt? Is this what they had all gone through? Has Hobie gone through this? His sweet, gentle, confidently smug Hobie? Was it this painful too? Miles? Gwen? All of them? The thought completely broke his spirit.
They had all knew this day would come. This "canon event". What stupid words. What a sick joke, how morbid for them to have known this would happen someday. And yet, none of them were prepared for the look on Pavitr's face. Where his usually friendly, welcoming smile would have been if it weren't masked by the tears falling down his face, the tight scrunch of his nose and squinted eyes. His cheeks had become red and heated, his voice desperate with each cry. It broke their hearts, to put it lightly.
And how it broke Hobie's heart. He didn't know such a sound could make it feel as though the earth crumbled up beneath him. Took the color right out of the room and painted it gray. His body did the same as well, a gray muddy color expressing how he felt having Pavitr curled up to him, looking for some sort of comfort and never finding it. He wanted to tell him it was all going to be okay, that he had nothing to fear. But how could he lie? Being spider-man was not all it was chalked up to be. So he just held him, for however long Pavitr needed. It was all he could do.
"I got you luv. I'm here." His efforts were mostly useless though, and the rest of them stood silently, watching Pavitr break down against Hobie, mumbling to himself how he failed, how sorry he was. It was proper word vomit, and it left a sour taste in Hobie's mouth. He felt Peter place a hand on his shoulder, looking at Hobie with a sorrowful frown. For some reason it reminded him of Miguel's stupid mantra of how "this has to happen for everyone, this is a canon event." To hell with all of that, he shrugged Peter's hand off with a grunt.
Those painful sounds from Pavitr continued for a good few minutes, and in the end he was left along with Hobie in a side room. He had sat at an empty desk chair, Pavitr still hugged closely to his chest. His suit had become wet with tears, and was sticking to his chest. He payed it no mind, Pavitr was more important than his suit.
Miles and Gwen had given their best wishes, their hopes in Pavitr feeling better soon, although they knew it might take a while. They understood, after all. Hobie had given them thanks in Pavitr's place, seeing as he was mostly unresponsive. But now, in the quietness of the room together, his breathing had slowed down, his crying had become silent and he could hear his thick swallows.
Hobie rested his lips over the top of Pavitr's head, his hand running over his arm. He could feel the wear and tear in his suit, a sign that he had worked hard at his job. He felt Pavitr hide himself away in the crook of his neck, wondering if that was even comfortable due to the choker he wore there. Hobie whispered into the softness of his hair.
"You get it all out, Pav?" The smaller male hid closer away against him, thinking it over once. Then he shook his head, his voice sounding hoarse with a small "no."
"Yeah, figured." Hobie sighed against him, his hand going back to rubbing his arm soothingly. He brought his other hand up to check the time on his watch, they had been here a long while. And Pavitr looked worse for wear. It was possible he did as well, after all that mess. He lightly shook Pavitr's arm, getting him to look up at him. The small pout he wore made his lips twitch into a frown.
"Pavi, come 'round my place for now, yeah?" Pavitr opened his mouth to say something, then shut it back up. He looked up at Hobie as his eyes glistened with fresh tears once again.
"I can't."
"Sure you can."
"No, Hobie, I can't." He begged softly, his hand bunching back up into Hobie's suit. If he could, he would wipe that miserable look right off of Pavitr's face, creating a clean slate. A frown such as this didn't suit him.
"There's a black hole in the middle of my city. Hobie- I-I don't know what to do, but I have-" At this, Hobie lightly shushed him. He moved to hold Pavitr's face in his hands, his thumbs wiping at the already new tears streaming down.
"It's fine. The people of your city are safe. They said they'd handle it. It’s already beginning to appear smaller, odd occurrence if you ask me." The face Pavitr wore was desperately confused. He couldn't just leave his city after that, what if something bad were to happen again? Hobie seemed to read all that from one look at his face.
"I know O'Hara is mental in the head and is rather insensitive to the lot of us, but he gets the job done. If you can't trust 'im, you can trust me." He continued to swipe at the tears gathering in the corner of Pavitr's eyes.
"'sides, I want you with me. Can't imagine it'd be all that nice by yourself right now, 'ddya say luv?" Pavitr closed his eyes, thinking it over once, twice. He had already managed to gather a headache. But Hobie was right. He couldn't be alone right now, not after everything that just happened. He felt so empty, he needed someone to fill the space beside him.
"...Ok." He responded quietly, feeling both guilt and shame. It felt like he was running away, but he couldn't bring it in him to face the people of Mumbattan. He felt as though he failed them.
"Good answer." Hobie stood from the seat, bringing his watch out to open a portal to his flat back in his universe. He carried Pavitr with one arm snug, he was rather light to hold.
Hobie's flat was cheap, simple with one bedroom, one bathroom. A very small living space, with random items gathered in various corners. He didn't bother to clean much, in fact, he liked the mess. And Pavitr never minded it either.
Pavitr has been to his flat many times to count. He's been here so much, that he had spare clothes tucked away in Hobie's drawers. A bottle of his favorite shampoo and coconut oil, along with his own toothbrush in the bathroom. A special blanket his Maya Aintie had gifted him that he forgot on Hobie's bed his last visit.
Being encompassed by the darkness of the living room was a relief to Pavitr's eyes. The light from HQ had stung from all his crying. Hobie led them through the small ways of the hall, and toward the restroom before finally setting Pavitr down from his arms. He went to rummage through a pile of clothes he had just got from the wash, along with a clean towel and setting them beside the bathroom sink.
"I'd reckon you wash up, might release some tension you've gathered up in 'ere." He lightly massaged at the back of Pavitr's neck, making him cringe at his own tense muscles. He accepted the clothes given to him, it was a random t-shirt and some pajama bottoms. He watched Hobie leave the room, insisting on giving him his privacy.
Pavitr shut the door, and turned to stare at his reflection in the mirror. Who he saw was someone he didn't recognize, his suit torn in various places, his eyelids puffed out a degree he didn't believe possible. But then again, he doesn't think he's ever cried this much. His face was still colored a bright red, even noticeable on his dark skin.
He pulled himself away from the mirror, starting the shower and stripping himself of his suit, wincing at the feeling of his battered body. He stepped into the shower, hissing at the cool water. It soon went warm, and his body finally started to relax.
But it only lasted for a few minutes. He rubbed his hands over his eyes, a his head wanting to crack itself open. His shaky hands searched for the bar of soap, trying to focus his mind elsewhere. But he didn't even feel like he was here. The water was warm, but his body felt cold. He was irritated and he wasn't sure why.
He kept asking himself why. Why did it get so bad? Why couldn't he save both of them? Why was he here instead of back in Mumbattan? He couldn't discern his warm tears from the water falling on his body, becoming still in the shower and letting his thoughts run rampant, crushing his spirit to the floor. Was he really so disoriented that he couldn't even be left alone to shower? He felt completely helpless.
It was a quick shower, he didn't even bother washing his hair properly. By the time he looked in the mirror again, he wasn't sure how much worse his face had gotten. Maybe it couldn't get worse than this. He was surprised to find Hobie leaning against the wall beside the bathroom door, stopping to look at him in silent question. The punk was now in his own large t and a pair of loose sweatpants.
Hobie turned his body to face Pavitr, reaching out to push back the wet hair that fell over his face. He studied his features, letting his hand trail down his cheek to rub at the corner of his eye.
"Usually you take longer in there." Pavitr shrugged at his words, knowing how terrible he must look right now. Hobie would beg to differ. Never had Pavitr looked any less than beautiful.
"Come, I made some of that Masala chai you like. Need some fluids in you." He placed his hand at Pavitr's back, guiding him away from the bathroom. He appreciated Hobie taking on a lead, as he felt his body currently wasn't working with him.
They settled at the small coffee table in the middle of the living room. Hobie didn't bother with a couch, so they sat on the floor at each other's side. Pavitr blowed at the cup in his hands, letting it burn into his fingers that seemed to have gone numb again.
He silently took a few sips, and he felt his face cringe. It tasted like mud in his mouth. The usual pleasing sensation of flavors blooming on his tongue had been dulled. He suddenly felt a rise of bile in the back of his throat. He set the cup of tea down, frowning to himself as he looked down at his lap.
Hobie took a sip as well, and maybe he wasn't just imagining it as he watched him set his cup down as well, rubbing his nose and leaning back on his hands before turning to Pavitr.
"Not as refreshing tonight I take it?" Pavitr turned to him, his fingers tangled up together nervously.
"I'm sorry- you went through the trouble of making it."
"Oh Pav, no big thing. Just wanted to get something in you." He lightly nudged at Pavitr's shoulder, and he couldn't help the twitch of lips. Not a smile, he hasn't smiled once since this morning, but his lips threatened to.
Hobie watched him, noticing how far away he was even though he sat right next to him. The twitch of his lips set his heart ablaze, but he noticed how it went nowhere. He would kill to get a smile from him right now, to hear his ringing laughter fill his flat. It was so quiet without it.
"Your eyes are so swollen luv, are you feeling tired yet?" Hobie spread his arm out in invitation, and Pavitr looked at him with a nervous glint.
"Exhausted. I feel like I'm going to collapse." Hobie set his arm down when Pavitr didn't move, pushing himself back up.
"Right. I should have expected that- perhaps we could try the tea in the morning." Hobie reached for both cups, gathering them to bring them back to the kitchen, noticing Pavitr staring up at him with red tinted eyes.
He rose a brow at him, and Pavitr's lips pulled into a thin line. He doesn't know why he didn't move into Hobie's embrace. And now all he wanted was to be held and comforted like before. He wanted to feel Hobie's heat on him. Hobie gave him a lopsided smile, planting a small kiss to his temple before he went back to the kitchen. Pavitr slumped in disappointment.
A few minutes later he had followed Hobie back to his bedroom, watching as he fixed up his bed because he never cared too much to do so in the mornings. He handed Pavitr's blanket to him, giving a small chuckle at his clumsiness for leaving it in the first place.
"Smells entirely of that coconut oil you use. I quite like it. Slept with it all last night." The smile he gave Pavitr was its usual smug, and even in his numbness he could feel his heart skip-a-beat as you would say. Hobie fluffed up his pillow, then gestured to his spot on the bed and allowed him to settle himself in.
He tucked the blanket in his sides, and usually Pavitr would complain about being spoiled as such. But he couldn't find it in him to argue. His body felt warm again, his muscle relaxed into the mattress. Hobie left a small bedside lamp on as he leaned against the wall on his side of the bed, retrieving his guitar.
Pavitr was usually the first asleep, Hobie liked staying up way too late for any normal person. Well, he wasn't normal, so I guess that rules him out. The first few minutes rolled by without any issues. Pavitr listened to the chords Hobie plucked at, an unsteady tune, but it kept his attention. He was staring at the wall, watching Hobie's shadow in the dim lighting.
He can't seem to pinpoint when that sinking feeling hits him. He figured he may have been pretty content, but his mind got lost among the sounds of his guitar, and it soon became static as well. And now he was thinking, and thinking, and thinking some more. About the things he didn't want to think about.
About how he will have to face Gayatri again. How the families must be grieving. How he couldn't manage to save them. What if Miguel can't help his universe? What if he fails again? Would something like this happen again? He can't say it isn't a possibility.
And then he was shaking again, his hands clutching at his blanket. And his eyes were watering- how many times has he cried today? And his breaths were quickening. And he let a small sound escape him, hearing the abrupt stop of a chord being played. There was movement behind him, the shuffling of the bedsheets as Hobie peered over his body, taking in the sight of Pavitr trying to muffle his cries again.
Hobie set his guitar back against the wall, his lips turning down as he scooted closer to Pavitr. He was beginning to move into a fetal position, holding his face to his hands as light sobs fell into them. Hobie curled his arms around Pavitr's waist, pulling him closer so his back was against his chest.
"Come on Pav, what's wrong?" He rubbed small circles into his stomach with his palm, cringing when Pavitr let out a strangled cry. It was so unlike him that he couldn't help it. Hobie's heart broke a second time that day. He was so small against his chest, usually so strong yet he felt like he would break any second now.
"I-It hurts, Hobie." His voice was breaking, and he clutched the cloth at his chest again. Hobie tightened his hold, pressing his face into the top of Pavitr's back and trailing small kisses into it.
"I know, luv. I know." It didn't help. But he reached down to the hand rubbing his stomach and held it in his anyways. He held it tightly against his chest, and Hobie let him for as much as he needed it. Pavitr's nails were digging into his skin, his knuckles going white. He didn't care, he didn't dare move. If he could take all of the pain away for himself to bare he would, but grief didn't work that way.
"I-I'm sorry I couldn't do it. I am. There was so many people in that bus and I thought- oh god, I'm a horrible person, Hobie." He choked out the last of his sentence, feeling Hobie curl his body entirely around his. His long legs tangled in with Pavitr's, and he moved his face into the dip of his shoulders.
"You're not horrible in the slightest. You can't save everyone, Pav. But you did a damn good job at saving those you could." He kissed into his shoulder, and Pavitr's lips quivered again. He'd have to apologize to Hobie later for the marks on his hand, but it was the only thing keeping him anchored.
He doesn't know how long that breakdown lasted, he just knows Hobie sat through it with him for as long as it did. He's not sure if he actually managed to fall asleep, or if he just had his eyes closed the entire time. Either way, he woke feeling like his body was weighted down, his eyes heavy and his head pounding.
Hobie's arms were still around him, and he noticed he still had a loose hold on his hand. He was glad to see his nails didn't make marks that were too deep, and he kissed softly at Hobie's knuckles in thanks. He could hear the soft snores against his neck, and he turned to him fondly.
He felt horrible, sick. He wanted to vomit from dizziness. But he was glad he wasn't experiencing it alone. He might have lost it if so. Then, Pavitr smacked a hand to his to his already irritated forehead, mumbling out how Maya Auntie might kill him lest he give her a heads up that he might not be home for a few days.
___________________________________
The days passed on in a blur. Sure, Pavitr wasn't breaking down as much as the first few days, but he wasn't all sunshine and rainbows either. He had less to say, and his mind wandered occasionally, distracted by whatever thoughts he managed to conjure up.
He hasn't smiled like he used to. He tried a couple times, but every time they looked wrong. Every time, they made Hobie's stomach turn. Pavitr was like that intoxicating drug that made you feel like you were floating, high out of your mind and seeing the world in a mix of colors. But, for now, the world look a lot duller along with his heartbreak. As if his smiles could really change the way the world looked.
Hobie let the small bag of groceries bounce off his knees at his side. On the plus side, Pavitr wasn't hiding away in bed like usual anymore. He actually got up and did things now. He even effortlessly managed to clean up most of Hobie's living space, which wasn't needed but he was grateful nonetheless. He even cooked a few times. Didn't eat much himself, but he still cooked for Hobie.
Hobie scrunched his nose up, his lips turning down in a frown. He was doing that a lot recently, but he couldn't help it. He misses when the two of them would share a meal, it was worrying him sick to think Pavitr wasn't getting much in his body. A few days of drastic eating habits could do a number on you wether you thought it could or not. He gripped the bag tightly, silently making it his goal to get Pavitr to eat dinner with him tonight.
Hobie unlocked the door to his flat, peeking inside before stepping in fully. He easily spotted Pavitr looking up from the coffee table. He had a cup of of what he assumed to be water, he hadn't been consuming much besides that. It was a small relief to him.
"Hobie. Welcome back." His lips curled up automatically, his eyes were very tired. Hobie could tell he was trying hard to bounce back to his usual self through it all. He gave him a nod, presenting the small bag of groceries.
"Got everything for tonight."
"What's for tonight?"
Hobie shook the bag with a smirk playing on his lips. "A good thing I like to call, 'Breakfast for dinner.'" Pavitr watched with his nose scrunched up as Hobie set the bag down at the kitchen counter.
"Do not tell me it's the beans and toast." Hobie let out a small sound, half a laugh, half surprise. He knew it wasn't one of Pavitr's favorites. He could laugh at the look on his face.
"Fret not, I know you don't fancy a good cup of beans on buttered toast. Not the worst thing in the world though, you're jus’ dramatic." He pressed a finger between the furrow of Pavitr's brows, a small attempt to push away his frown. Then he went to remove the contents of the bag. It had everything in your usual breakfast, aside with some of his favorite fruit like green grapes, and some pudding he knew Pavitr liked.
"Are you cooking today?" Hobie turned to the shorter and noticed the nervousness his eyes held, he responded with that crooked smile of his.
"Yeah. And I'm expectin' some company with me." Pavitr opened his mouth to say something, promptly shutting it afterword. He swallowed thickly, knowing it better than to argue. He was afraid it would leave a bad taste in his mouth, but he knows he hasn't eaten for a good few days. How could he argue with that?
"But... you can't cook." That was his weak argument in the end, and Hobie feigned shock. Looking down at the bag, then at Pavitr.
"That's bloody rude don't you think, Pav? I can make us a simple meal!" Really, he knew he was just egging it on. And it seemed to have worked as Pavitr reached out and snatched the bag from him.
"No- I don't think you can. If I'm going to eat your 'Breakfast for dinner', I'd rather make it myself or you'll burn it." His eyes glanced up to Hobie's after realizing what he's done, looking back down with a twitch of his brow.
"Sorry- no offense." None was taken. Hobie watched with a sly smile as Pavitr lightly pushed past him, getting out the correct pan for some eggs. He crossed his arms as he watched him, it had been a minute before they shared their usual banter. He thought he'd have to step on a few eggshells around Pavitr at first, but it looks like even he couldn't resist those useless arguments with Hobie about his cooking skills.
He watched Pavitr's face focus in on what he was doing. He wore a frown on by default, but Hobie studied his features a bit more closely. Sure, his eyes still looked tired. They had been since he got here, and he was sure Pavitr was beating himself down in his mind for no reason. But the redness and swelling of his face had disappeared. His naturally smooth skin made his nose shine in the light of the kitchen.
Even his hair- wait. Hobie moved back into Pavitr's space, his nose dipping unceremoniously into his hair to get a strong, dramatic whiff. Pavitr inched away in surprise, looking at him with wide eyes.
"What are you doing?"
"Coconut oil." Hobie twirled a slender finger through one of the waves of his hair, feeling it easily slide against the smoothness of it. Yeah, he definitely did his hair care routine. The thought of it made him giddy, just a little bit. Pavitr was taking care of himself after all.
"Genetics and prayers can only do so much." He admitted, cracking an egg over the pan. A joke? Did he manage to crack a joke out of his little Pav? Hobie can feel himself get lighter, a small weight lifted off his back. He quickly pressed a kiss into Pavitr's hair, making sure to breathe in the familiar smell that always clung to him.
He was shooed out of the kitchen after, and resided back on the floor next to the coffee table. He had his guitar in hand, perfecting a recent tune he came up with. It was one much calmer then his usual music. Partially inspired by Pavitr's preferred taste, and partially in tune with his own feelings. His eyes shot up when Pavitr entered the room with two plates in hand.
"Smells amazin', Pav." His eyebrows rose when a cup of Masala chai was placed beside the plate. Pavitr hadn't had a cup of tea since the first night he was here, a small bundle of hope rose in his chest. Maybe Pavitr could come to enjoy it again.
"It looks amazing." He agreed, frowning down at his plate like it was a confusing question on a maths test. He wasn't sure where to start, he hadn't had a proper meal in a minute. Everything looked so good, but he remembered the dull taste of the tea in his mouth. He was afraid he'd ruin his own appetite.
Hobie wrapped his fingers around one of Pavitr's hands, and squeezed. He motioned down to his plate. "I like to mix the sausage in the runny egg. It's proper nice." Pavitr blinked up at Hobie, turning back to his plate with a nod.
It was like some hard puzzle he was trying to figure out, he reached out and took one of the sausages with his fingers. He dipped in the yolk of the egg, watching it shine as it run over. There's not much to it after that, he willed himself to take a bite. And then another, because he didn't quite get the taste after the first bite. And then he was shoving the whole thing in his mouth, and breathed out his nose as he took in it's juicy flavor, melting on his tongue like butter.
He could have forgotten Hobie was right beside him, beginning to dig his fork in to the rest of his meal, starting with the eggs. Some of the grapes, going back to the sausage. It's nothing like his signature breakfasts back at home, but it was pretty damn good in comparison. He suddenly realized just how hungry he was, and went to take a cautious sip of the tea beside him.
He looked at Hobie with visibly deflated shoulders, taking another sip before he sighed out in the space between them.
"It's so good." It came out as a soft whine, and Hobie couldn't help the light laugh that left his chest. Relief washed over his body as he threw his head back, that was the power of Masala chai. Always seemed to drag you back.
"I bet. You're a a good cook, luv." He held his smile, and something in the way Pavitr was staring at him caught his eye. A look of- what was that? Shock? Wonder? Then something amazing happened.
A steady grin broke out on his face. So very Pav-like, it brought warmth to his face. Oh gods, how he missed that stupid grin of his. The lines of his smile on display for him, perfectly tracing under his cheeks, his tired eyes bunching up at the corners. It knocks the breath out of you, really.
"What's got you all smileys today?" He was grinning ear to ear himself now, just because Pavitr was. He felt their fingers intertwine, becoming a lose tangle. Pavitr brought up his hand to his lips, admiring the skin of his knuckles.
"You finally changed color. I thought you wouldn't do that around me anymore." Hobie's smile dropped as he watched Pavitr press a kiss to his hand. He noticed himself the glow emanating off of his body. He was red.
Call it a cheesy, love sick move he made a long time ago. But he conditioned his mind to correlate the color red with Pavitr. Red was a symbolic color for love, wasn't it? All that sappy, cute stuff. He managed to set it apart from his red spider-man suit, and correlate it to Pavitr, the way he made him feel. The way he lit fireworks in his in his body, made his heart race with every smile- you get the gist of it.
"Have I not changed color recently?" Pavitr shook his head solemnly, his grin wavering on his face.
"You've been gray. You haven't been smiling a lot, either." He now looked at Hobie with his usual frown, guilt settling in at the idea that it was his fault for Hobie's change it attitude. Hobie scooted closer, to cup the side of Pavitr's face in his hand, his fingers getting lost in his hair.
"Don't make that face luv, 've just been worried." He caressed his cheek with his thumb, and Pavitr's frown deepened. He whispered in the space between their faces, soft yet so reassuring to Hobie's ears.
"I'm ok. I'm ok- Hobie." Pavitr placed a soothing hand against the one on his face, his eyes holding Hobie's gaze. So sincere, he wasn’t looking past him anymore. He was looking straight at him, finally meeting his eyes. Hobie couldn't help but let out a breath of air in relief, meshing their noses together.
"I know. I know that now. 'm so proud of you, Pav." Pavitr's eyes fluttered down to Hobie's lips. So close, yet unmoving. He shut his eyes as he pushed his forhead further against Hobie's.
"Aren't you gonna kiss me?" It came out as a light beg, and Hobie could feel the restraints in him unlatch completely. His eyes still watched every movement of Pavitr's face against his.
"Didn't think it's been the right time." His voice was low, and watched the way Pavitr's eyes split back open, his brows following the trail of his frown as he set a hand under Hobie's jaw.
"I've been waiting for you to kiss me this whole time..." His voice barely a whisper now, words dyeing on his tongue as Hobie smothered his lips against his. Pavitr's lips were soft, and moved accordingly to his own. They knew each other's mouths well, and Hobie sank in the feeling of finally claiming his lips again.
His larger body trapped Pavitr against his chest, using his hands to support himself as he leaned further against his mouth. He teased small nips at his bottom lip, feeling rewarded with the small sound that escaped Pavitr.
Pavitr's breath got lost in the other's mouth, his hand falling to Hobie's chest. His palm was tingling, and his mind felt clouded, but he knew he was here. In Hobie's arms. He sighed against his mouth, his voice coming out like a small whine.
"I missed you..." There noses bumped awkwardly, and he could feel the cool touch of Hobie's various piercings against his face.
"I'm right here." Hobie responded, chasing after his mouth and placing a kiss to the frown his lips made. He moved back, letting Pavitr sit up right again but still sticking close. He tilted his head and held his gaze, his hand inching toward his hip.
"Smile again for me luv, you know it drives this mad man crazy." A dark flush found it's way up Pavitr's face, and his lips twitched into an honest, shy smile. He was hoping for another one of his show stopping grins, the ones that made him lovesick in the head, but he'd take it nonetheless. It honestly had about the same effect on him.
Then he did crack into a bigger smile, a small chuckle escaping him as he was back to staring at Hobie. His favorite music, arguably. Better than any song he could have curated himself.
"What's so funny now?"
"Your colors are spasming out." Hobie looked down at himself. Flashes of blue, green, periwinkle- that one was new. Not a spot of grey on him, he might've looked ridiculous right now. He shrugged his shoulders, letting that stupid smile take over his face like an idiot in love.
"What can I say? You make my world colorful." Smooth talker. He pulled that one right out of his ass, but he had it locked and loaded for the perfect moment. Pavitr rolled his eyes, sighing out and shaking his head before looking back at Hobie.
"That's crazy, I was about to say the same thing." Oh this moment, he could drown in it. Pavitr looked down at his plate, thinking to himself. He cleared his throat before speaking up again.
"I still don't feel my best. It feels like a chore to wake up in the morning." Hobie nodded at his words, even though he wasn't looking at him. He thought a bit more.
"But it feels worse to not get up. And I've been calling Maya auntie, she told me a funeral is being held for Insepctor Singh. And I will be going. To give him a proper goodbye." His eyes finally met Hobie's, determination in his eyes that he had lost before.
"And I will make sure the whole thing is settled, I don't want the rest of Mumbattan to experience a danger like that again." Hobie set a hand on Pavitr's shoulder, his face turning serious, giving him a single nod.
"I hear you. 'm proud of you, Pav. I know they're in good hands." Pavitr visibly relaxed under his touch and at his words. He was courageous, he loved his people dearly. Hobie knew that. He had his heart splayed out on his sleeves, despite it all. He knew this had only made him so much stronger, regardless of how it looked in everyone else's eyes.
And Pavitr did exactly as he said. He attended the funeral, holding Gayatri in his arms as they shared a few tears, both tired from countless nights of sleep loss. He prayed over the casket, wishing his peaceful decent to wherever he was going.
He couldn't attend the young girl's funeral. He didn't directly know who she was, only seeing her face appear on the news. He prayed for her as well, along with an apology, in hopes she didn't feel too much pain in her passing.
He frequently patrolled at night, keeping watch on the hole that still mocked him under the bridge. It was considerably smaller than he remembers it being, but it was still a mystery to him. One that he would figure out later.
He would notice the glow of the portal beside him, and his smile would start spreading on his face at the familiar faces coming to greet him at the top of the building. Miles gave a small wave of his hand, Gwen giving him that toothy grin of hers, displaying her crooked teeth. Hobie tripped over to him, a hand wrapping snug around his waist and pulling Pavitr into his body.
"Looks like another quiet night 'ere on the streets of Mumbattan, don't it?" Pavitr giggled at the way Hobie held him close, placing a sloppy kiss into his hair before showing him some mercy.
"They aren't going to let a giant black hole bother them, these people can sleep through anything!" Pavitr laughed, everyone here was as stubborn as his Maya Auntie. His city was so strong, and it picked him up when he needed it. Not to mention, this colorful, gorgeous being beside him.
He had said so many 'thank yous' and 'I love yous' to Hobie for days now, for never leaving his side when he felt at his worst. For picking him back up when he had fallen. For reminding him what being spider-man was all about. You do what you can, and if you can do it, you do. And if you can't, well, you can't always do everything.
Being spider-man wasn't easy. But as he looked out to the various buildings below them, the quietness allowing the wind to have some sound, he figured it was well worth it. The good, and the bad.