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Hermione could feel his eyes on her back as she removed the oversized jumper that belong to him leaving her in an undershirt and pajama shorts. Normally she avoided wearing just this in front of the boys because she felt exposed. Her thin top showed cleavage and her shorts hugged her backside. She folded the jumper neatly and walked it over to him holding his gaze and showing no sign of shyness.
Ron was standing near his own bunk shirtless in his pajama bottoms watching her walk over to him while he unfolded his T-shirt. He too didn’t seem to be bothered by modesty at the moment. Hermione guessed sharing a tent with someone for several months did that to you.
But he hadn’t been here for several weeks had he? It had just been her and Harry trying to survive the gaping hole his absence had left. She had cried herself to sleep every night wearing his dark green jumper that Molly had made him last Christmas. She had refused to wash it because it still smelled like him. But now that he had returned she figured it was time to give it back.
“Here,” she said proffering the jumper.
But Ron made no attempt to take it from her.
“Keep it,” he said never taking his eyes off hers.
“But it’s yours,” Hermione said still holding it towards him. “I shouldn’t have taken it in the first place.”
Ron dropped his shirt on the bunk and turned to face her fully.
“No, I’m glad you did. I want you to have it. It looks better on you anyways.”
Hermione couldn’t look at him anymore.
“Ron, just take it,” she insisted.
“I told you it’s yours,” he said facing the bed and picking up his shirt again, pulling it over his head.
Hermione sighed, laid the folded jumper on his bunk, and walked back to hers. She grabbed her own bag and started pulling out her toothbrush. She saw the jumper fall onto her bed out of the corner of her eye and turned to see Ron grab the frame of her bunk to lean his weight on his hand.
“I told you I want you to have it,” he said standing there like he was waiting for her to protest.
“Fine,” Hermione said not meeting his gaze again.
If Hermione thought that would get rid of Ron, she was mistaken. He continued to watch her as she pretended to search for something in her bag.
“Is it true? What Harry said? Did you cry yourself to sleep every night while I was gone?”
Hermione stilled her movements refusing to look at him. “Does it matter?”
“Of course it does,” Ron’s voice had softened and he covered her hand with his.
She snatched it away quickly and turned to face him, glaring at him as hard as she could. Ron took a deep breath like he was bracing himself for something and grabbed the bunk on either side of Hermione.
“Look, Hermione, I know I fucked up-
“No shit!”
“And I know it’s going to take a while to gain your trust back, but I will gain it back. I’m not going anywhere.”
Hermione scoffed at him, and rolled her eyes.
“I’m in love with you, damn it.”
Hermione’s eyes snapped back to his. That got her attention. He held her gaze, waiting for her to say something, and she felt a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach.
“Yeah? Well, I don’t love you,” she said brushing past him and heading for the kitchen, her toothbrush forgotten.
Ron was right behind her. “You’re a fucking liar is what you are.”
She spun on her heel to face him. “Excuse me?!” She said trying to sound as pissed off as she could.
“You heard me,” he said stopping right in front of her looking as pissed off as her. “You don’t cry yourself to sleep for weeks over someone you don’t love. You don’t go rabid on him when he starts dating another girl unless you have feelings for him. And you don’t steal his jumper and wear it to bed just to feel close to him.”
At that, Ron reached into his pocket and pulled out her bracelet. A little silver one with starfish on it her parents had bought her on their trip to France. She had lost it. As a matter of fact she hadn’t been able to find it since Ron left. He tossed it on the kitchen counter behind her.
“I wore that every day I was away from you, just to feel close to you somehow. I nicked it from your bag when we were arguing. Right before I left. I already knew you were going to choose Harry.”
“I didn’t choose Harry! Why- why do you have to say it like that?!”
“I know. I know you didn’t choose him over me, but at the time I thought you had. That necklace got in my head, Hermione. It fucked me over bad. But ever since I destroyed it, everything has been clear as a bell. I know what I want. You, Hermione. You are everything that I want. And I’m gonna fight for you with all that I’ve got.”
Hermione stared at him at a loss for words. It’s what she had longed to hear for so long, and here it was. Ron had laid it all out on the table. But he had left her. No, he had abandoned her, to help Harry on her own. She didn’t trust him not to hurt her again.
Ron was studying her face, and he took a step closer.
“I’m going to kiss you now. If you want me to stop, you’re going to have to tell me to,” Ron said slowly and evenly.
His eyes were boring a hole into her, but he didn’t embrace her. Instead he had his hands shoved safely in the pockets of his pajamas. He started to lean down and Hermione panicked. She slapped him hard across his jaw, and Ron turned back to look at her with a fiery intensity in his eyes that she had never seen before.
He quickly grabbed her by her waist and picked her up, dropping her onto the nearby counter.
They were eye level now and he had her loosely trapped between his arms as his hands gripped the countertop. He pulled one hand away to rub the side of his face as he continued to stare at her intently with those pale blue eyes.
“Is that the best you’ve got? Tell me to stop, Hermione, and I will,” he challenged her.
She felt her pulse quicken at his words and her palms became clammy. Ron called her bluff better than anybody, but this was a whole other level. She wanted him so badly, but was so scared it would go wrong. She couldn’t risk it, even it meant having everything she had ever wanted.
He was leaning toward her again, not at all put off by the slap. On the contrary, he seemed more determined than ever. But she couldn’t get the word out of her mouth. She couldn’t tell him to stop because she wanted this so much, it hurt. A battle was raging inside her between fear and desire.
She pushed him hard in the chest and he stumbled back several steps. They locked eyes again, and he waited there for a beat, in limbo, giving her plenty of time to reject him, to tell him to stop. To leave her alone. But she couldn’t. She couldn’t bring herself to do it.
He walked purposefully back toward her and this time his hand went immediately to her hair weaving his fingers between her thick locks and gently pulling at her scalp.
“Say it again. I dare you. Tell me again that you don’t love me.”
“Ron, I don’t love y-
“Liar!” He accused right before his mouth landed on hers consuming anymore bluffs she could throw at him. He pulled back slightly, only to kiss her harder, grabbing her around the waist possessively.
Hermione let out a whimper and wrapped her arms and legs around his body, drawing him closer, getting lost in the kiss. But a voice in the back of her head surfaced. That small nagging voice telling her it wasn’t going to work. She would get hurt again, and next time, it would break her.
She wrenched her mouth off his and looked down.
Ron stood rigid for a moment, unsure of his next move. He cupped her face in his hands and gently tried to make her look at him, but Hermione was having none of it. She looked away as tears started to form in her eyes. His body relaxed and he held her head to his chest as he rubbed her back, just letting her cry.
And cry she did, releasing all the anger and hurt that had consumed her since he had left. Her breathing finally slowed and Ron had produced a wad of tissue from somewhere. She blew her nose and wiped her eyes before looking at him. Ron’s blue eyes were blood shot and he swallowed hard waiting for her to speak.
“When you left, it almost broke me. If you leave me again, I know it’ll break me. I can’t let that happen, Ron,” Hermione got out in a hoarse whisper. “With you I- I have no protection, and I have to fix that.”
Ron could read between the lines. He understood what she was trying to say without actually saying it. She was pushing him away to protect herself. He nodded in understanding.
“It won’t happen again. I know you don’t believe me right now, but I’ll prove it to you. And I’ll keep proving it to you until there’s no more doubt left in your mind,”he said dropping a kiss on her forehead.
She looked at him again and saw the determination in his eyes. She hoped with every fiber of her being that he would prove it.
They heard the tent flap open as Harry strolled in looking tired and disheveled. He stopped in his tracks when he saw them.
“Is uh- is everything ok?” Harry asked, unsure of what he had walked in on.
Ron and Hermione looked at each other.
“Everything’s fine, mate,” Ron told him. “We were just hashing some things out.”
He helped Hermione off the counter and she wordlessly walked away to her bunk.
“I’m going to start some dinner. Anything interesting happen outside?”
Ron pulled out his wand and pots and pans started flying out of the cupboards.
“I watched some birds fight over a caterpillar, but that’s about it. Oh! I heard on the wireless the Chudley Cannons are deciding not to play anymore matches this season. Told the press they needed to focus on ‘team dynamics’ but I’d bet ten galleons it’s because their star beater went missing.”
Ron looked up in surprise at Harry and saw Hermione had shuffled back to the table wearing his green jumper. He smiled to himself as she sat down and opened a rather large book, doing her best to ignore them. He looked over and saw her bracelet still sitting on the counter. Ron pocketed it quickly and went back to supervising the magicked knives cutting the vegetables.
As he and Harry discussed the Chudley Cannons and the many disappearances this week, Hermione looked up and caught Ron’s eye. She looked at him for just a moment before turning back to her book. Things weren’t completely broken between them.