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Misunderstandings were common for Steve. In doing his best to be clear when communicating, it seemed people read between lines that weren't even real and drew their own conclusions about what he meant. Over the years, he'd done his best to avoid these misunderstandings but they happened again and again. Most of them (he'd want to say all of them frankly) weren't his fault but they backed him into a corner until he apologised. His list of friends had decreased drastically over the years due to this—with the majority of them being dropped when he moved away and transitioned in the same wave. Go big or go home.
He'd misunderstood Eddie's intentions with asking him to hang out just the two of them many times, which had been meant to be assumed as dates but Steve couldn't fathom that Eddie would be interested in him that way. An allo, a gay man, interested in him? It made no sense. Not that his confidence was down at the bottom of the sea, but he knew he was a lot to handle in the way that he wasn't a lot. Mellow, finding emotions difficult to display, he had a steady mood and that had annoyed everyone around him when he grew up (well, when she grew up, but anyways), and he wasn't a fan of texting or phone calls. Snapchat had been pushed upon him, pictures a pressure and not an enjoyment, so he didn't think he contributed a lot to relationships.
Turning down Eddie gently had come to mind. Maybe he had understood what Eddie wanted but ignored it for the sake of their friendship. He had no problem setting boundaries but they had been constantly ignored by those around him growing up to the point where she simply hadn't bothered to speak her mind because no one listened to her anyways. She was hard to read, wasn't clear with what she wanted, didn't ever want anything, and didn't care about anyone.
Robin had never accused her of that. Neither had Nancy, but that hadn't worked out for other reasons.
Eddie only knew Steve as Steve, and not her, which was refreshing in a way that Steve hadn't realised he missed. Not missed, maybe, but lacked without realising. To be seen as a man by a romantic partner, assured that he was even when he wasn't binding, even though he thought he lacked so much to be considered one, it brought him endless amounts of joy and relief that Eddie saw him as nothing less than a man. More than anything, Steve wished he could tell him how grateful he was but words weren't his strong suit and pancakes for breakfast could only be done so many times before it felt redundant.
"What are you thinking about?" Eddie asked head tilted to the side. His soft, brown eyes scanned Steve for unknown reasons.
They sat together at a newly opened place called "Chocolate Hut" for brunch. Flowers decorated the ceiling and ran down the walls to surround a red phone booth that had been put inside for a photo opportunity. To say the place had been built with social media in mind was an understatement. As the name promised, the menu offered a wide selection of chocolate items such as waffles, chocolate-covered strawberries, a Nutella cheesecake, and much more that pleased Steve's sweet tooth.
"How do you know I'm thinking? Maybe my head is empty with no thoughts residing here." He knocked on his temple with his knuckles, not knowing how to even being explaining what was going on inside his poor little head.
"You pout when you think, it's real cute, care to share? You don't have to, I just... I like to hear your thoughts," Eddie smiled, slurping his coffee.
Steve rolled his shoulders back and looked out the window at the street where people rushed by in their hectic lives. "I am simply enjoying my time with you." He smiled. It wasn't a lie. Not at all. But he knew better than to say that he wished he could show someone how much they meant to him—even when that someone was Eddie.
Eddie smiled, sticking his tongue out just a little, and leaned forward with his elbows on the table. "Think you can enjoy our time together on Friday? My band's playing, live, we don't draw a huge crowd and it's free, obviously, but it'd mean a lot if you... I can tell that's a no, never mind." He leaned back in his chair and drank his coffee. "I won't make it to movie night on Saturday so guess it's just you and Robin, and I've got D'n'D on Sunday, just wanted to see you but I guess that's... whatever."
"You're angry."
"What? No, not angry, just... I really wanted you to see us, Corroded Coffin, live and it'd mean a lot but if it's too much input then I get that, metal isn't your genre anyways."
Not a fan of the sharpness in Eddie's tone, Steve chewed his bottom lip and stared at his plate. Eddie was already talking again, but he couldn't find it in himself to listen. There was too much to tackle and he didn't know where to start. "I don't mind metal music," he started and pulled at the bracelet on his left wrist.
"Hm? What? You don't have to explain why you don't wanna go, it's fine."
"How do you know? That I don't want to go, how do you know?" he clarified and looked at Eddie. Not into his eyes, but his face, which was good enough.
"Your face, you get this... you're easy to read."
"Oh... I've always..." he drew a breath, shaking away the derail before it took over. "But, do you know why I can't go?"
Eddie shrugged, but the intensity of Steve's gaze on him persuaded him to talk. "The impressions, right? New place, loud, it's all good, I just... I want to take you to places, do stuff with you, but it's difficult, wait that sounds... shit..."
Steve looked to the side, forehead wrinkled, deep in thought. Maybe he wasn't being as proactive as he could be. If Eddie wanted to venture beyond simple coffee dates and strolls in the park, he was open to that. "Then I don't understand why you'd want me to see your band live since that's not an activity we would enjoy together."
"Well, no, but I... let's just drop it, okay?"
"Drop the idea of activities we could do together or your band?"
"Band, let's just drop it."
Steve nodded and held his cup of hot cocoa in his hands. "Would you like me to suggest activities we could do together?"
"Sure." Eddie scratched his nose and looked out the window.
Not happy that his tone had gone shorter, Steve put his cup down and brushed both hands through his hair. He wasn't supposed to when it was newly washed to keep it clean but it was soft to the touch. "We could go to the rock festival in a few weeks, I can't guarantee metal but..." he stopped himself when Eddie's eyes pierced through him like swords.
"You're fine going to a rock festival but not to see me play? Why?" He rested his chin in his hand. "Whatever, fine, yeah, just drop the music, I think I have to get back to work soon anyways." He downed the rest of his coffee in a swift sweep, ignoring the burn it left on the back of his tongue.
"I don't understand the problem," Steve kept his voice low and tone steady. "From what I've gathered, you and your band enjoy your time together after a show consuming alcohol, which isn't a judgement but an observation, and I don't drink, which makes a setting with drunk people uncomfortable for me, but if we go to the festival you can enjoy the rock music and I can be safe in your company, so I don't see why you're upset."
Eddie licked his lips. He parted them, as if to speak, but closed them and rubbed his thumb over his upper lip.
"Do you not want to go to the rock festival? There are other activities we could do, such as taking a train to Garlow and visit their amusement park, which would require staying the night at a hotel and I don't think I'm comfortable with the expectations that come with sharing a hotel room so that was a dumb suggestion, but there's a big aquarium in Keista, which isn't as far." He knew he was speaking too robotic-like but couldn't help it. The only way to push anxiety away was to be rational about it.
"Whatever makes you comfortable..." Eddie spoke in a low tone that was almost a whisper. He tilted his head to the side and watched Steve. "I wouldn't expect anything more just because we're staying at a hotel, by the way, and we could book separate rooms."
Steve shook his head. "I like cuddling with you."
"Yeah?" Eddie smiled softly. "I like cuddling with you too."
"You're not angry?"
Eddie spun one of his rings around. "No, sorry if you thought that, I just had this idea of impressing you with my awesome guitar skills, but I'll impress you in another way."
"Don't you keep your guitar at your place?"
"Well, yeah."
"So, can you not simply play for me there then? Not to invite myself over," he hurried to add because he loathed when people did that. Though, honestly, he was curious to see how Eddie lived. They hadn't been at his place even once. Hopefully, he didn't live in a dumpster.
Eddie grabbed the extra fork and reached for the cheesecake, which Steve pushed closer. "Anything for you, baby."