Chapter Text
It’s been a few days since the 30th anniversary of the Phoenix Stage and the major success of their show. Everyone had worked so hard to make this show possible, especially Tsukasa.
He went through so much practicing for the role of Rio and even went as far as to starve himself for a few days to understand Rio’s position. Even Nene improved drastically.
Her acting and singing have only gotten better since the show and Tsukasa couldn’t be happier for her, she worked really hard and the fruits of her labor have paid off. That's something Tsukasa can’t say for himself.
After watching that show before the audition, the one he has been waiting for, the one starring his idol, he sees now how far his dream really is. His dream of becoming a star has never seemed so far away than it does right now.
A phoenix really is an interesting creature. It's a symbol of rebirth, a powerful and mystical creature, but also a myth. It does not exist in reality. He understood what Rio’s phoenix was, and it’s, well, the actual phoenix.
Tsukasa’s own phoenix seems so far out of reach compared to Rio or even his troupe mates’ dreams. He understands this now, that no matter how hard he tries to improve he can never seem to catch up, only to stay stagnate and watch as everyone moves on without him towards their own dreams.
He can’t be mad at them, only at himself for not being good enough, for not being the best actor he can manage, for not being the best troupe leader he can possibly be. These thoughts really do eat away at one’s own sanity.
“Tsukasa-kun?”
He really does want to be happy for his friends, they are doing everything they can to become better than what they once were, but it still hurts.
“Are you alright?”
If only he could just-
“TSUKASA!”
He was suddenly brought back from his own thoughts from the voices and faces of concern from his friends (one seeming particularly annoyed compared to the others). Oh, that's right, they were discussing their new show.
They don’t have any promotional shows anymore, so the chances of improving his acting skills have dwindled only the slightest bit. But that's okay!
Maybe they will be able to do some shows outside of the park again, or maybe he can do more practice with his workshop!
“Oh- I’m sorry about that! I must have been lost in thought but I’m back now!” Tsukasa gives his friends a smile. Not a big one, no this one was pretty pathetic, it might be able to fool Nene and Emu.
But not Rui.
Rui isn’t dumb, far from it actually, and he certainly isn’t oblivious. As his boyfriend it's only natural to pick up on these things.
“Are you sure Tsukasa-kun? You weren’t responding pretty much at all when we asked for your opinion on the new script. And even before that you looked pretty out of it. I just want to make sure you’re alright.” Rui put the rough draft of their new script down on the floor of the stage beside him. He has this look on his face.
Of concern? Of pity?
“Don’t worry about me my dear director! I was just thinking about a scene that might go well with this rough draft we already have if we have room.” He really hopes that they believe him, it isn’t like him to lie like that but he can’t help it at this moment, he doesn’t want them to worry.
He can feel the eyes of all of his friends burning through his skull.
It hurts, it hurts so much.
They all seem to be more relaxed at his comment which makes Tsukasa’s shoulders slump.
When did he even get this tense anyways?
“Alright then, if you say so. Well I suppose we could end this session now since it’s already getting late if that's alright with everyone?” Rui suggested looking around and scanning everyone's faces. The girls seemed to nod in agreement.
“Mhm! Yup! Me and Nene-chan are gonna have a sleepover!” Emu enthusiastically sprung up from her cross legged position and skipped over to Nene. She took Nene’s hand and pulled her up with a slight yelp so they were both on their feet before Emu started dragging them towards the exit.
“Yea I guess we will see you later then.” Nene looked back towards the boys as they started to leave. Emu also looked back and started waving, seeming full of energy.
“BYE BYE!!☆” Emu and Nene eventually left the park which leaves Tsukasa and Rui alone together on the stage.
They both stand up, Rui taking his script, and walking towards Tsukasa. He puts his free hand onto Tsukasa’s shoulder and the concern he wore on his face before returns.
“You know you can always talk to me if there's anything bothering you right?”
“Of course I know that! And you can always do the same to me too!” Tsukasa gives Rui a big smile to reassure him that nothing is going on.
“Alright, I trust you. But if it’s not too much to ask, would it be alright if I walked to your place tonight? You said you had a scene you wanted to add and I thought we could talk about it some more.”
“Yes, that's fine! Saki is out with her girlfriends tonight so it will be just us.” Tsukasa loves the fact that Saki is spending her time doing what she loves, she's finally able to live her life how she wants to. It just tends to get a bit lonely when she’s gone so having Rui around makes up for it. Besides, they haven’t been able to have much quality time together since the show they put on took a lot of time to rehearse for.
They both start heading towards the direction of the Tenma household, hand in hand.
Rui and Tsukasa were sitting in Tsukasa’s room, both sitting on his bed. The reason Rui said he was coming over was because Tsukasa said he had an idea for the script, but that was a complete lie.
He needed to say something to get them all off his back and that was the only thing he could think of. Now he needed to get Rui to believe that everything he said was true. He really didn’t want to lie like that again but he didn’t have much of a choice now.
It seems that Tsukasa does have time to think of a lie as Rui is still writing away on the script in his hands, occasionally looking over towards the balcony.
It really is strange how someone as loud and boisterous as Tsukasa is missing a wall, Rui only feels slightly bad for the other occupants but it wouldn’t be surprising if having a missing wall was Tsukasa’s choice. Perhaps this missing wall is a good enough distraction to buy Tsukasa time to answer any question Rui could throw at him and not give away the fact he lied to all of their faces.
“So what was that idea you had that you were so deep in thought about?” Rui asked him without looking up and scribbling whatever ideas he thought of at that moment.
“Hmm? Oh yes that. Oh, well I think it would be cool to add more dynamic scenes.” Tsukasa started gesturing his hands trying to communicate whatever he just spat out.
“Now what do you mean by more ‘dynamic’ if I may ask?”
“Well I was just thinking back to the Phoenix Stage performance and some of those scenes conveyed a lot of emotions which.. really moves the hearts of the audience y’know?” Tsukasa looks ahead trying to avoid Rui’s gaze without being too obvious.
“Fufu~ you really are a terrible liar you know. But if whatever you are thinking about is something you want to keep to yourself then I won’t pry. But if you still really do want to add more of those scenes we can find a way to incorporate them.” Rui really was too observant, it was kind of annoying at times, Tsukasa just doesn’t want to worry him or anyone else. “Just remember that I’m here if you need to talk, I’ll listen to whatever you have to say no matter what it is.”
Rui turns to face Tsukasa as he puts the script down on the floor by their feet. Tsukasa looks back up towards Rui and gives him another smile. “You really don’t need to worry! If I have any problems I will come to you I promise!”
A lie.
Tsukasa leans in and leaves a quick peck on Rui’s lips, hoping that will satisfy his concern. It seems to have done the trick as Rui grabs onto Tsukasa’s collar and pulls him back into a kiss.
This one is deeper and more passionate than the one Tsukasa gave. Tsukasa instantly melts into the kiss as Rui’s hands move from Tsukasa’s collar to his cheeks, lightly rubbing his thumbs on his jawline.
Tsukasa’s hands move to Rui’s shoulders for stability and after a little while they pull back for air. Rui looks into Tsukasa’s eyes with a fond look on his face and a slight blush.
Both of their hands move down so they are on top of their laps, holding onto each other. Tsukasa moves quickly to close the distance again and wraps his arms around Rui’s neck, holding him close as he digs his face into the crook of Rui’s neck.
Rui reciprocates and guides his hands to the small of Tsukasa’s back, he takes this opportunity, with Tsukasa’s face being so close, to whisper in his ear. “I love you.”
Tsukasa only mumbles into Rui’s neck in response and tightens his hold on him. Tsukasa is quite content with just being in close proximity to Rui, it makes him feel so safe form the thoughts that have been plaguing his mind for a little bit now, but even so, the more recent thoughts are getting too loud, too strong, too convincing.
Even being with the one he loves so much, Tsukasa just can’t seem to get these thoughts to stop. He pulls back from their embrace, with a slightly more bittersweet expression forming across his face.
“Thank you Rui. It’s getting pretty late though so I think it’s best if we can continue this later.” Tsukasa says as he signals towards the now abandoned script on the ground.
“Are you sure? I can stay the night if you’d like, I don’t think my parents would mind much and I can keep you company?” Rui asks with a hint of disappointment in his voice.
“I think I’ll be okay tonight, but I’ll see you tomorrow for practice alright?” Tsukasa wants to reassure Rui that really nothing is going on, it’s getting harder as the days pass and from how much he’s letting himself slip up.
“Alright then, I’ll see you tomorrow, my star.” Rui stands up and grabs the script from the ground, he leans over Tsukasa and gives him a kiss on the top of his head. Rui heads out of the room and Tsukasa collapses onto his bed, unable to stop thinking about everything. About how he seems so talentless compared to everyone else, about how hard he works to only get nowhere, about how much he tries his best but only gets further away from his dream.
He watches his phoenix fly away, never to be reached.
Can things really get better now?
The next day at school Rui wanted to try to finish up the script, so he asked Nene and Tsukasa to join him at lunch. Nene was the only one who answered back, and normally Tsukasa would text back in all caps, but today was basically just radio silence.
When lunch arrived Nene was the only one to meet up with Rui on the rooftop. Rui was sitting on one of the benches, looking off towards nothing in particular. Rui skipped classes once again so he was able to get to their meeting spot quickly and without distractions. But once the bell rang a certain loud blonde didn’t come crashing through the doors to scold Rui on skipping class.
He waited, 5 minutes, 10 minutes, no one was coming. He felt a little disappointed but mostly concerned. Tsukasa was never late, he always made sure he was punctual. As for Nene she didn’t like being late but sometimes it can’t be helped.
The door suddenly burst open and who appeared was a green haired girl gasping for air.
“Sorry Rui, *haah* The teacher held me back for a little bit. Hmm? Where's Tsukasa?” Nene questioned as she sat down next to Rui, still trying to catch her breath.
“I’m not quite sure, he didn’t respond to my text, perhaps he’s just busy or he forgot his phone at home again.”
“Ugh, he can be a real dumbass sometimes, I don’t know how you can put up with him. I guess we can start without him.” Nene deadpans looking at Rui.
“Fufu~ Maybe I'm just used to it, plus I’d say that's part of his charm!”
They talked throughout the rest of lunch, Tsukasa never made an appearance.
They didn’t see Tsukasa at school at all that day, which was weird. He is never late, and he never misses classes. He always talks about how he needs to keep up his perfect attendance so not seeing him at school is weird. And if he was sick he would've said something! Not just radio silence the whole day.
They were at practice and today they took it to Sekai. Rui just wanted opinions on the new script and plus, they’ve been too busy with their shows to spend much time in Sekai.
They were gathered outside sitting on one of the benches. The flying train rushing past overhead makes great inspiration for shows. Kaito and Miku were also there trying to provide some support and expressing their opinions on the script Rui brought them.
“So Tsukasa-kun isn’t here?” Kaito asked, noticing one less person in Sekai.
“We didn’t even see him during school, and he never answered Rui’s text.” Nene responded to Kaito before Rui could. They would also have to fill Emu in on this.
“I’m not sure what's going on right now, every time I’ve tried to get something out of him he’s always dodging the question and insisting that he’s fine.” Rui put his hand on his chin with a more serious expression on his face.
“Hmmm, I’ve also noticed how he isn’t feeling very wonderhoy too...” Emu wanted to contribute to the conversation.
“Is what's happening really affecting him that much, that he would miss school and not respond to texts?” Nene questioned, this situation really is difficult for them, nothing like this has really happened before.
Everyone in the troupe isn’t very good with talking about their emotions, but they made a promise to start telling each other things. So why can’t Tsukasa just tell them? “It's really starting to get annoying.”
“Alright how about after practice we go visit him? We can see if everything is okay.” Rui proposed, worry creeping up on him.
“YEAH! LET’S GO VISIT TSUKASA-KUN!☆” Emu enthusiastically added.
“Alright then, that’s what we will-”
BANG!!
A loud noise sounded across Sekai. It sounded like something breaking down. They all turn their gaze towards the sky to see the once colorful and magical flying train going out of control.
The tracks that always appeared ahead of the train stopped, all of the color that once inhabited the rain faded out, all that was left was a husk of grays and blacks. The train kept speeding ahead even as the tracks stopped.
The train plummeted from the sky and crashed into one of the nearby tents causing an explosion. Everyone was too stunned to move, except for Kaito and Rui. Nene froze in place as Emu clung onto her arm, both of them in total shock, confusion, and fear.
Miku ran to hide behind Kaito as he instinctively put his arm up to shield her from any stray debris that had the unfortunate fate of flying towards them. Rui didn’t know what to do, he wanted to do something but he couldn't. He was still stuck on processing what just happened.
Kaito was the first one to take charge “EVERYONE WE NEED TO LEAVE NOW!”
Kaito turned back towards the other three, gesturing for them to get away from the scene. Rui and Nene started running in the opposite direction dragging Emu behind when suddenly fissures started appearing in the ground beneath them.
The ground started shifting like an earthquake, with pieces of train and burning fabric from the tent still being launched from the site. They all look around for another escape route, Rui looking back towards Kaito and Miku hoping that they will make it out safely.
“DON”T WORRY ABOUT US, WE WILL BE FINE!” Kaito yelled back to Rui once he noticed him looking at them. The girls still looking for another escape route came out empty handed.
Everywhere they turned to was more debris and uneven terrain still being pulled apart, the fissures only getting larger by the second.
With nowhere to go they all brace for whatever may come to them, until Miku from behind Kaito jumps from uneven terrain to uneven terrain until she reaches the three of them.
“YOU HAVE TO FIND TSUKASA-KUN. PLEASE!” She explains with urgency they’ve never heard before.
They didn’t have time to react as Miku put out her hand and the three of them suddenly vanished, all that was left in their place were the triangles familiar with Sekai.
The three of them find themselves back at the wonderstage, it’s dusk now and all of them are still trying to catch their breath, and trying to process what just happened.
How was that possible?
“We need to go.” Rui said in an extremely serious tone, it was kind of scary. “You heard Miku-kun, we have to go find Tsukasa-kun.” Rui started walking out of the park as Nene and Emu tried to catch up only after checking if they had any injuries.
They made it to Tsukasa’s house in record time and Rui banged on the door with a ferocity that was quite unlike him, all of what happened still flooding his mind. They heard some commotion coming from behind the door and once it was opened a familiar warmth poured from inside the house.
“Rui-kun? Emu-chan? Nene-chan? What are you doing here?” They look to see who answered the door only to find Saki.
“Saki-chan! Do you know where Tsukasa-kun is?” Emu inquired, stepping from behind Nene to be in clear view of Saki.
“Hmm? I thought he was with you guys?”
What?