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Una watches as all the crew members leave the transport room and make their way to the bridge after receiving the orders. Somehow, relief washes over her immediately, as she finally finds herself back where she belongs, in the place she considers her home, her sanctuary. The feeling is contagious, especially when Pike walks towards her.
The captain is the only one who remains in the room, after all, he is the one she theoretically doesn't give orders to. His eyes are directly focused on her face, which appears harmonious with clear pupils dilated by emotion. Fortunately, Una can disguise certain reactions that are normal for any organic biology, being an Ilyrian trained to conceal them. Otherwise, she would be completely flushed and ecstatic by the stunning sight of Christopher and all his attributes.
Not a single word is spoken between them at that moment, it's inexplicable. There is only one action that she deduces where it ends, or perhaps she simply thinks she knows. After Pike stops in front of her, their gazes lock momentarily, and Una realizes that he doesn't just give her a hug. The captain gently presses his soft lips against hers.
Una doesn't know how to react to Chris' kiss. At first, her hands stay clenched by her sides, but then they suddenly open and rise to his shoulders in synchrony with a movement that feels like instructions on an electronic panel.
The captain is gentle with the lip contact, even though his hands are huge enough to cover her entire face, his touch is soft. Una surrenders to the sensation, becoming completely enveloped in its warmth, lacking the courage to push him away, despite knowing that what they're doing is wrong for numerous reasons.
And then…
*
The alarm clock blares, forcing the commander to open her eyes. Una quickly slides her fingers in protest against the device that vibrates unbearably and makes her murmur something she doesn't even understand, except in her own head.
The officer goes through the motions, forcefully squeezing her heavy eyelids while touching her lips, seated on the edge of the bed, as if the kiss in her dreams were more than it actually was—more than just a dream. She stops for an audible sigh, somewhat annoyed by her own actions.
She can't exactly recall when she started having those strange dreams about Chris. All she knows is that the dreams had become alarmingly frequent, to the point where she sometimes avoided sleeping to escape them. At times, the dreams went so far that Una would wake up damp between her legs, while other times she would be disturbed by an overwhelming heat that she attributed to a faulty room thermostat. However, her limited knowledge of engineering confirmed, after a few checks, that it had nothing to do with the environment.
Una had resigned herself to living in the shadows. She had comfortably settled into a zone of friendship and work confidante. But was there not a good reason behind all of this?
Someone who understands the responsibility on the shoulders of a Captain and all the limitations that the job imposes on personal life."
Chris said something similar when he classified why Batel was the ideal person to date, and Una couldn't disagree with the justifications. The pattern was as logical as Spock being engaged to a Vulcan. But at the same time, Una had very subtle, opposing opinions mapped out against that.
Chin-Riley had no intentions of competing with Batel, but Pike didn't take into account that even though she had various options, she had given up a captaincy rank. And that fact had nothing to do with her own abilities. Una Chin-Riley, in all her extent and knowledge, had full competence to command a ship. She knew that, just as she knew that Chris ignored this point partly because it was more practical for both of them. They could continue working together as they liked.
The captain was never a difficult man; he just had a tendency to be inconsistent in relationships, something Una understood very well. Pike entrusted her with his darkest secret, and besides her, there was only one more person who knew about the captain's terrible fate after 10 years of serving in that ship. Well, it was a choice, even if it wasn't exactly a choice. Pike sacrificed himself trying to save the galaxy, but hardly anyone knew the story behind his future, that story that would never be possible for Discovery to move into another millennium, fleeing from a supermachine, without him.
The sacrifice brought burdens, and the burdens brought strong bonds. At times, Una wonders how much of the tragedy that marks her Captain's journey leaves her unsettled, especially her— the most conformist of all, the person who hid her feelings for Chris, often even from herself. She would say that any woman could be by his side, except her, if it were about a romantic relationship.
The truth is, ever since they met at the academy, she had an immense admiration for that man, along with a great insecurity that no one before him had been able to figure out. In fact, that was the reason why she never imagined that her ties with Chris would strengthen, and she never imagined that one day he would call her his "my first officer." while for others, he referred to her as: "an old friend…"
Pike seemed so unattainable in his position that it seemed enough just to be by his side, even if it meant limiting herself to the role of a 'right-hand person'.
Love is sometimes not about giving in to internal desires, but about knowing that even though your organs are driving you crazy with heat and inappropriate visions, there is a knowledge of why it is right to set the other person free from this minefield of dangers.
Una rationalized her love for the man she called a friend, and more than that, her protector, over the years. And so, she resigned herself to the fact that living out fantasies with him in her mind would be less painful or less risky than pursuing him in reality.
She looks at the door of the quarters and takes a deep breath, contemplating the norms of the fleet:
"Directive 17: Starfleet ship captains shall deem the lives of their crew members as sacred. In any potentially hostile situation, the captain shall prioritize the lives of their crew above the fate of their ship."
"Regulation 1138: This regulation covers fraternization between Starfleet members. Starfleet members may not engage in business or romantic relationships with superiors in their direct chain of command, inasmuch as this may be harmful to discipline and/or the functioning of the organization. Clause Beta prohibits officer/enlisted relationships, Clause Gamma covers relationships between one officer and another subordinate officer, and Clause Theta prohibits a commanding officer or other unit head from being in a relationship with any other member of their unit."
"You know that you're not someone who follows guidelines as an unassailable or unchangeable moral code, but Una conducts her principles based on what makes sense, in other words, as Neera would say, conduct guided by an ethical compass and principles that aim for the common well-being. The rules made sense, "hmm... agreed," she said to herself to keep the fantasies in their proper place.
As a rule, that was her first directive: she established that she could have any man or woman, but she could never have Christopher Pike, and he, in turn, agreed to never think of her as a woman.
That's why when the elevator doors open to the bridge and Una finds Pike leaning in the captain's chair, she can only smile as if nothing inside her hurt or wanted more of him.
- Number One.
- Captain! - She responds promptly.
- Good to have you back. - The man in command jests at the officer with a half-smile that melts any heart. How can he be so charismatic, even if he doesn't know it?
- It's always good to be back.
Una heads to her workstation, takes her position, and notices Ortegas adjusting the course destination on the console in front.
- We were discussing a celebratory dinner. There's actually a deadlock. - He explains. - One group wants the celebration in seven days, while the other wants it in two...
- Do you want my opinion, Captain?
Una feels important. Pike always asks what she thinks about everything, and the way he does it indicates that the power of decision is merely due to rank. He hates being the one who decides things for others, which leads to another point.
- Okay, then tell me why the dates seem so different for the opinions? What are we celebrating? - She probes at the root of the discomfort.
- End-of-year celebrations, Christmas... It's a Christian tradition practiced on Earth for many years, as you know, Number One.
- It's strange that it's still applied when we're in space, Captain.
- It's the species' tradition to at least follow the chronological dates according to the stellar guides.
- And what's the problem with that? - Now she seems disturbingly confused.
- The other portion of the crew finds it irrelevant, and it consists of what Christians call non-believers, although the Latins have their own beliefs.
- WOW! - She finally realizes that she's facing a real religious conflict.
Starfleet is a peaceful community, but even among crew members, it's common for diverse cultures to clash within the confines of a giant metal box. Segregation sometimes occurs, despite their efforts to fight against it.
- Captain, if I may point out. - Spock decides to utilize half of his Vulcan rationality to provide input. - It is illogical to force either group to participate in such gatherings, as it would only generate hostilities from both sides.
- Spock is right in that regard. - Una doesn't mind that the officer can't contain himself and shares his points of view, even though the captain's question was directed at her.
- Very well, what's the alternative? - A practical solution is needed.
- We can have two separate celebrations to make both sides feel comfortable.
- Out of the question. - Una is emphatic but takes care to indicate the reasons for her disagreement. - Spock, the reason why we celebrate a date like this is for people to share moments together... If we propose two celebrations, the main purpose behind it will be lost.
Pike agrees, nodding his head, where his deep silver valleys reside.
- If this cannot be negotiated since it's not a date tied to a home planet but rather to a Federation ship, the ideal solution would be to have a celebration in four days, as it wouldn't specifically celebrate any particular dates according to calendars.
- Although I find my suggestion applicable, considering you have succinctly observed your points, Commander, I must say it is a satisfactory solution. - Spock concludes, making Number One smile.
*
In the corridor on the way to the cafeteria, amidst the Enterprise's vast red corridors, Pike catches up with Una with a slight quickening of his steps. They are on their scheduled break.
- Una?
- Chris? - She scans the corners to see if anyone is behind them.
- Dinner?
- Dinner! - She agrees with his question.
They walk side by side, making the height difference stark.
- I thought you were going to take a short leave during the Enterprise's maintenance stop in the coming days.
- Did you deduce that from my staying on board in the next few days, for Christmas with the crew? - She nods in response. - No, we didn't have a fight, if that's your question. I'm really not running away. It's just that Captain Batel has priorities at the moment, that's how it works, if you understand me.
Una analyzes the man beside her as if she had a tricorder in her hands, measuring brain waves.
- Is this your scout side speaking or just a man making excuses? - Chris awkwardly puts his hand on the back of his neck, feeling the wave, perhaps the same one she feels when they look at each other amidst the bright lights of the panels above their heads.
- Okay... With you, I can be honest. Captain Batel won't actually be on leave, but would it be strange if I said that I don't mind? - The first officer feels curious about his statement, but as always, she doesn't show any emotion that can be read. - My home is here.
When Pike almost spells out 'home' while looking directly at her, Una feels her heart flutter, because at least she can have the illusion that for him, it may mean a "home," regardless of what that means, it is deeper, perhaps more significant than occupying the other side of his bed.
- No, it's not strange. - She manages to remain impassive, without a smile, after all, she doesn't want him to think that it satisfies her. - It's understandable, after all, we've spent so much time together that we've become family.
- Yes, a family. - He reinforces. - A functional one. - He adds.
In all honesty, the world may not be kind to an Ilyrian, but that ship will always be her comfort, her home... Pike would be her family, her home...
- It's good to know you'll be here, especially because I don't know what the crew would do without your skilled hands in the kitchen. - They arrive at the cafeteria. - I know there are synthesizers nowadays that could easily take care of things, but nothing beats the taste of good home-cooked food.
- You only say that because you want me to prepare something extra this Christmas to surprise you.
- One thing I've understood for many years, Chris. Regardless of whether I'm expecting it or not, you always surprise me, and in an excellent way. - She leaves him behind to make her own request.
The words make Pike smile because she always knows what to say, and he is definitely comfortable with her because she is true to him in every way, especially now that the shadow of her fears about her Ilyrian origin is no longer a problem looming over tomorrow. Yes, Una Chin-Riley is definitely very important to the captain, more than he wants to admit. She is the right woman he wants by his side until the last day. Pike wants her more than any woman he could have in his bed because, to him, Una means the first. Not the first woman he will kiss, but the one he will always prioritize in any circumstance in his life because love encompasses various forms, and his love for her is one of those forms. He wants her by his side so much that he would rather forego casual sexual encounters than lose her, as losing Una in his life would be like losing his own foundation, a part of himself.