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Yoongi loves the rain.
There's something about it that soothes him, the streaks of water against the great paned windows that line the walls of his entire house (does it ever get lonely, living by yourself? Sometimes, yeah--) like almost-words that form almost-letters. He likes to think that they're letters from the sky, about why it cries so much, and sometimes, Yoongi wonders if they're happy tears because nothing can be that sad all the time, right?
He sits by the window with his blanket pooling around his waist, a mug in his hand, the entire world spreading out before him, rolling out on concrete blankets, souls splayed out, swimming through the rain. Some are drowning, he thinks (but some are floating too, living, see them? Yeah, I do).
He looks down into his cup and smiles at the smile ghosting up at him from the tiny ripples. The tea tastes like the rain sometimes, but only sometimes (when it's light enough, can't let it seep for too long, or else it'll go bitter. I know, I know).
Yoongi remembers Jimin in raindrop memories, in the pitter-patter words against the glass windows of his mind, keeping him separate from the rest of the world (doesn't it get lonely? It does) but he hadn't felt it till he lifted his head one day and Jimin was there, smiling like the first ray of sunlight after rain and Yoongi doesn't remember opening the windows, but he does remember the feeling of breathing, properly, for the first time since god-knows-when when Jimin kissed him.
That's right, Jimin had kissed him first.
On his tiptoes, in the rain.
He takes a sip of tea and rests his forehead against the sky across the glass, watching his breath fog it up like would-be clouds and there's a city inside his mind, metalscapes that scrape across a horizon of fire where sometimes, he thinks he can see Jimin's face just beyond where the light fades into darkness.
(Do you ever miss me? Of course I do.)
He remembers the second time, when Jimin had dragged him out, giggles bubbling up and out of his lips like dreams after a noontime nap, like the milkfoam, soft and sweet, perfect and precious. He remembers dancing in the street at midnight, or maybe a little before, maybe a little bit after, with his fingers wrapped around Jimin's waist, Jimin's forehead against his shoulder, breath splaying out over Yoongi's neck and it's warm. It's warm--it feels like finally, it feels like belonging.
(Doesn't it get lonely? Not anymore.)
Yoongi dials his voicemail and presses the phone to his ear. Jimin's voice sounds like sanctity and safety and it used to be all those things (sometimes they still are, aren't they? Yeah, they are) but now, now it sounds like salvation. It sounds like just out of reach, it sounds like dreams that are only ever meant to be dreamt because they can't ever become a reality.
"Yoongi-ah," Jimin says through the static and white noise and the years (has it been that long? It has) that echo between then and now and everything after, "I miss you."
"It's raining today, and I thought of you," he says, and keeps on saying and Yoongi wishes he wouldn’t ever stop, that he could keep talking so long as the rain doesn't stop either and really the rain sounds like Jimin's voice, Yoongi can hear it, the words he's trying to say pressing up against the glass, he can almost feel them right up against his skin like Jimin's lips used to be if he closes his eyes and just--
"Just wanted to say I love you," Jimin's voice--no, Jimin--says.
"I love you too," Yoongi says, and no, he realizes, the sky never does cry happy tears because happy tears never last this long. The only thing that does is sadness, and grief. And Jimin was always so happy--maybe that's why he--
"See you soon," Jimin says, making a kissing noise right before he hangs up the phone.
Yoongi wants to drown in the dial tone that follows after, wants to hold his breath through the no new messages and the there are 1 old messages and the press 1 to repeat old messages and the press pound to delete old messages.
Yoongi doesn't remember how he gets to the roof, but he does, and his feet are bare; he can feel the rain dancing beneath him, thrumming with that softsweetpreciousperfect energy.
Jimin giggles by his ear.
"Yoongi-ah, it's raining today, and I thought of you. Just wanted to say I love you. See you soon."
There are 1 old messages. Press 1 to repeat old messages. Press pound to delete old messages.
Yoongi leans his head back and opens his mouth to kiss the sky.
"Jimin-ah, see you soon."
1 old message, deleted.