Work Text:
If Kim was known for something it was his adaptability. His family could attest that it was how he always won fights, adapting so quickly to his opponent’s skills. When he wanted something, he did not have any trouble adapting his attitude to get what he wanted. And in his job, he was always okay to find some more time to fit more projects.
Maybe this last point had to do with the fact that he wanted to be the busiest possible to have less time to think. It had been weeks since he sent this video to Chay, and he had heard nothing from him since. He would not be the kind of unbearable guy who did not know how to stop when given a no.
Some could argue that he could have tried harder if he really cared about him. But that was why he did not want to suffocate him. Anyway, it was not as if he could never meet him again. Despite their catastrophic relationship, their brothers were still very much in love and they were now related by their family.
Of course, Kim still kept an eye on his family, and he did not need to pry a lot to know that Chay was not in danger. That was what he needed the most: to know Chay was safe.
So, he put a lot of effort into his work, either composing songs or participating in events. His career started to really take off, and he wanted to take advantage of that. That was why he accepted at the last minute to participate in this event. The artist supposed to participate had a problem and was forced to cancel: a great opportunity for Kim, to have some more visibility and to expect another good contract with the brand organising the event, as Kim had worked with them once already.
As it was decided a bit at the last moment, the public would not be informed before the event. It was supposed to be a small concert with a few artists, and then an after-show. This after-show would be an even greater opportunity for Kim as he would be able to discuss with people from the brand, the press and meet other artists.
As the beginning of the event was approaching, Kim was getting more stressed. He was not of the nervous kind, but even if being stressed was never really enjoyable, Kim did not hate that: after all, if he was nervous, it was because it was something that mattered to him.
The event finally started, Kim put a smile on his face and Wik went on stage.
•••
The show went well, and Kim was satisfied. So far, the only dark spot of this day was his manager who could not stop advising him, as if he was not able to deal with people.
He understood that in everyday life, he was not always very warm and nice, but he perfectly knew how to show friendliness with his Wik persona.
The show had not ended for long yet, but everything was going well for Kim so far. He had a very nice chat with the other artists, and someone from the brand came to him to tell him and his manager that they were interested in greater collaboration with him.
So yes, everything was so good so far.
Kim was waiting for his manager to come back from the bathroom – he wanted to take a couple of minutes to talk with her about a few things that had been discussed tonight.
That was when he spotted him.
There were quite many people there, he could not have paid attention to everyone. But there he was, after weeks without any direct news or any discussion, Chay was there, fifteen meters away from him.
Of course, Chay knew now that Kim was there as well, he had seen him on stage. And yet, there he was, a bit withdrawn from the crowd with one of his friends. If Kim remembered well, it was Ohm, Chay’s best friend.
They both seemed a bit nervous to be there and amazed too. Chay was wearing a pair of black jeans, a dark orange shirt, a jacket in blue jeans and a shoulder bag. It was not anything very sophisticated, and yet Kim found him stunning, as always. The duo discussed with three artists, but both seemed very intimidated, so they did not dare really get involved in the event.
Kim stayed watching Chay from afar for some time until he saw Ohm excuse himself and leave Chay, probably to go to the bathroom.
Kim did not want to let this opportunity go. If Chay wanted him to get lost, he would, but at least he should try. Anyway, how could he pretend that Chay did not exist when they were so close?
He walked to Chay and politely smiled when Chay spotted him. A slight surprise passed on Chay’s face for a brief moment, quickly replaced by a nervous smile.
“Hi,” Chay said first.
“Hi,” Kim replied.
They stayed in an awkward silence for a moment. Kim was about to speak again but Chay interrupted him. He nervously laughed, “I thought that after meeting you I was ready to meet other artists, but it looks like I’m still very much nervous.”
Kim smirked a bit, but did not say much at first. Finally, he spoke, “Are you alone?”
“Hm, no. Ohm just went to the bathroom.”
“I know, I saw him, but I meant, haven’t you come with someone from the house?” Kim obviously referred to a bodyguard. Sure, there were the bodyguards of the event, but outside of the house he should not be without protection.
“Oh, I have, but Som was not allowed to come in so he’s waiting outside. He didn’t seem very worried because he knew you were here, so,” Chay explained, fidgeting.
Kim nodded. In his opinion, he was not supposed to be taken as Chay’s bodyguard – even if he would always do his best to protect Chay no matter when – but he also understood why an unknown bodyguard was refused to an event watched by other bodyguards.
“Why are you here by the way?”
“I won two VIP places on social media. And you? You were not on the list of the participant artists, were you?”
“Another artist cancelled, and instead of modifying deeply the program, they looked for another artist to replace him. It had been decided a bit at the last moment so, there was no official announcement.”
Chay nodded, and there were a few awkward silent seconds. Kim had not been rejected by Chay and Chay did not really seem to want him to leave, so he was not going to. Finally, he talked again.
“And, how have you been lately?”
“Oh, don’t act like you don’t keep an eye everywhere,” Chay reacted a bit strongly, which surprised both of them. But the next instant, Chay became again a bit shy.
“I don’t. I mean, I only watch out for potential danger,” Kim quietly answered. He could not take care of everyone’s well-being too.
“Well,” Chay said after a few seconds, “I’m doing… ok.”
Kim felt guilty that he was not sure to be glad of this piece of news.
“I’m getting accustomed to living there. I don’t know the whole property yet but … I don’t really dare to explore on my own either.”
Kim nodded. He understood that Chay did not want to arrive somewhere he was not supposed to be.
“And Porsche doesn’t have much time free lately,” Kim added.
“I thought you just watch out for danger?” Chay teased.
“I do, I don’t need to see it to know it. It was expected, and you expected it too when Porsche’s new role was announced, didn’t you?”
Chay shrugged. He had of course expected it, but he also hoped he was wrong.
“But spending so much time with Tankhun can be annoying, right?” Kim softly said.
Chay looked at him accusingly, and Kim chuckled, “I know Khun, I don’t need to spy on you all to know this kind of information.”
Kim could perfectly understand Chay’s current loneliness. He could not pretend to know Chay by heart, but how he knew him was enough to guess that his habituation was hard on different levels.
“So, I’m looking for a job. I won’t go to university next year, and I know that I don’t need to have a job, but I need to busy myself or I’ll become crazy. Actually, when P’Khun busies himself with quite serious activity, he seems less crazy. Don’t you think that a good occupation could help him?” Chay was half-joking and half-serious.
Kim chuckled, “You should try to make him work and you’ll see, but it may not be a terrible idea.”
Occupying one’s mind to make them not think of things that hurt them, Kim was familiar with that.
“However, if you still want to, you may go to university next year,” Kim added, more seriously.
Chay immediately shook his head, “No, I don’t want you to speak for me to the seniors. I messed up, that’s my fault. I’ve already not said to anyone that I was looking for a job, because I want to do it by myself.”
Kim fondly smiled, “I know, and that was not what I was talking about. But I have been told by said seniors that they were a bit disappointed that you missed the audition because they had hopes in you. They asked me if I thought you were someone irresponsible. I answered that you had some personal matters to deal with.”
Chay frowned a bit, “They had hopes in me?”
“Well, they know that if I tutored you for so long it’s because I think you have potential. I would not have wasted time tutoring you for so long if it was not the case.” Kim awkwardly smiled. It was not the original reason, nor the only one, but he was sincere when he was saying that Chay had talent. “I really think it.”
Chay was about to retort something, but they were interrupted by another man.
“Hey Wik! Great show earlier, you did great even though you didn’t have much time to rehearse!”
“Thank you, Phi, I liked your performance too.” Kim sweetly smiled. “This is Porchay, my,” Kim briefly hesitated, “… brother-in-law’s brother.”
Both men wai’ed, and the artist’s attention got back to Kim.
“Oh, and by the way, I wanted to ask you earlier what song you were humming while getting prepared before the show. It was nice, and at first I thought it was one of your songs you were going to sing but actually no.”
Kim slightly cocked his head. He did not pay attention if he was humming any song earlier. “I don’t remember.”
“I liked it very much. Maybe it’s for a future song so you can tell me if you don’t want to say more, but it sounded like ‘hm hm hm hm, hm hm hm hm hm hm hm, hm hm hmmmm’.”
Hearing that, both Kim and Chay froze. Of course, they had recognised the song, which was Chay’s song. They stood awkwardly for a few seconds.
“Well, it’s a friend’s future project,” Kim finally said, “I shouldn’t have hummed it, so if you could forget it for now, please?”
“Sure, no problem! But you’ll have to tell me when this friend will have released it.”
“Okay, okay. Oh, I think someone’s calling you over there.”
“Then I’ll go first, see you later!”
Kim sweetly smiled again, until he could not see the man anymore. He did not dare to look directly at Chay.
“If I didn’t know you better, I would say that you’re a people-pleaser,” Chay spoke first.
Kim falsely smiled. They both knew Kim was more on the manipulative side than the people-pleaser one.
After another moment of silence, Kim spoke again. “About the song… rest assured, I won’t release it. It’s your idea. If I was humming it, it’s probably because I worked a bit on it so…”
“I know,” Chay interrupted.
Kim looked back at him, with a hint of surprise on his face.
“What? You thought I didn’t watch it?” Chay crossed his arms. “And I know you won’t steal it, if there’s a field in which I think you’re honest, that’s music.”
Ouch, that stung, but Chay was right. Kim nodded, “I shouldn’t even have worked on it without your authorisation.”
Chay stayed silent a couple of seconds, and then shrugged, “It’s okay.” And then he added, more softly, “And… I liked it.”
“Did you?” Kim’s eyes opened wide.
“Why would I lie?”
A small but genuine smile appeared on Kim’s face.
“And, huh…”
Chay slightly cocked his head, questioningly.
“I… may have worked on another version. An English one. I know I shouldn’t have, but I just had it in mind and I need to let it out, and once again, I won’t release it.” Kim hesitantly said. Okay, Chay was not annoyed that Kim had worked on his song without his accord, but maybe it was too much now.
“It’s okay, I don’t mind.” Chay looked soft, and Kim had to fight not to take him in his arms.
Kim was even more surprised now. But he quickly made this surprise disappear. “Okay, then… would you like to listen to it?”
Chay worried his lower lip and then answered, “I would love to hear you play.”
Kim tightened his lips not to grin like an idiot. “Okay, come on then.”
“Now?” Chay asked, surprised.
“Yes, let’s go to the rehearsal room, shall we? There are instruments.”
At that moment, Ohm came back, and he looked very surprised that Chay was so casually discussing with his idol Wik. But before he could say anything, Chay said, “I’ll be back, but you don’t have to wait for me.” He smiled when Ohm confusingly nodded, and he followed Kim.
Kim brought Chay to the rehearsal room, where a synthesiser was. Kim was growing more anxious, but he was also feeling rejoiced because Chay accepted to talk with him again, and he even accepted to follow him and listen to the new version of the song.
Kim took a stool to place it next to the instrument for Chay to sit down. Chay took the seat, his body turned where Kim sat down in front of the synthesiser.
Thankfully, years of stressing moments – because of his family or for his career - allowed Kim to be able not to tremble when he was nervous. Furthermore, he was a professional musician, so his nervousness disappeared when his fingers touched the keys and started to play.
All this time I sink, drowning like a stone
Tryna close my eyes, shut my ears on this throne
Losing my way home, then you came along
Everywhere we are, felt like where I belong
Kim had almost been shy at first, using a sweet but quite weak voice. He was not looking at Porchay but at his own fingers. Not that he needed to look at the keys to be able to play; he had played that music so many times that his fingers knew the movements by heart. But for now, he did not want to look into Chay’s eyes, or he was not sure he would be able to keep going.
Lost in your eyes there was no place I could hide
Take me inside and let me live in your mind
No pain tonight, this place is reserved for only you and I
As the song progressed, Kim was getting more and more into it, and his voice was getting stronger. He could not get immersed until forgetting Chay’s presence – how could he ever, even more when that song was for him?
'Cause I wanna stay on your side
Even if the world come crashing down tonight, wе'll be fine
Hold me closе and we'll just leave it all behind
Why don't you stay
He poured his heart into the song while playing it. Music was the only way for him to be comfortable about communicating his feelings. It was the smoother language for him, and he knew that Chay was someone able to understand the language of music. And because he was an emotionally smart guy, he could understand the music language, Wik’s music language, and even Kim’s music language.
These bruises and wounds fractures on my bones
Tryna fix it all but I failed all alone
But just to be with you, just you lying close
I can see the scars fade away on their own
He knew that if he wanted to properly try with Chay, if he wanted to try to construct something sturdy and strong with him, he would have to learn to communicate directly, not just through music and metaphors. But at the same time, he knew that in this configuration, Chay would help him.
Lost in your eyes, there was no place I could hide
Take me inside and let me live in your mind
No pain tonight, this place is reserved for only you and I
'Cause I wanna stay on your side
Even if the world come crashing down tonight, we'll be fine
Hold me close and we'll just leave it all behind
Why don't you stay
The last note lasted as Kim’s finger stayed on the key, but even when he put his hands on his thighs, that note had yet to disappear from their mind. They stayed for a moment more not looking at each other. Kim’s mind was fully going back to the present. He was nervous, he did not know what to say, he did not know if he could add anything right now. Chay had not said anything yet, but he had not left either. So, Kim wanted to take that as a good sign.
Finally, Kim decided to look up again. He did not know what reached him first, the sound of Chay’s sob or the vision of tears running down Chay’s face.
Immediately, Kim sprang up from his stool and took a step closer to Chay. He wanted to grab Chay’s cheeks to wipe his tears away, but he stopped his hands midway – he did not know if Chay would be bothered if he touched him.
Kim was at loss, he did not know what to do. He already did not know how to properly react to an enthusiastic Chay, so seeing him cry was even worse. Even more as he was not sure why Chay was crying.
“Chay, what is it? Why are you crying?”
Finally, Chay looked up, with a smile on his face – Kim was even more lost.
“I think that even if the song had nothing to do with me, I still would have cried,” Chay eventually said. “No matter what might happen, I don’t think I will ever be able to hate your art, you’re too talented.”
Kim stayed silent for a few seconds, the compliment taking in. “Come on, it was you who started to create it.”
“Maybe it was my original idea, but your interpretation it was marvellous. Actually, I can even forget that it was my idea at first with how you adapted it. The Thai version was already … wahoo. I think I wasn’t able to fully appreciate it because … you know. But you were able to actually translate it to English, and it works so well. It shows to what extent you are talented.”
Kim smiled sweetly, before the smile turned into a teasing grin. “I can’t believe I was such an idiot that I almost lost my biggest fan.”
Chay blushed at that, and tried to cover it by rubbing his hands against his face seemingly to wipe away any tears that would have not dried yet. Kim chuckles lightly.
After a moment, Chay let his hands fall onto his knees. “Since I’ve known you, I sometimes feel like living a fanfiction dream, where I have my idol’s attention and he’s singing my songs.” He chuckled and Kim laughed.
“I will sing your songs anytime you will want me to,” Kim winked, which cause Chay to blush harder. Chay turned his head away so Kim could not see his red face.
After having calmed down, he looked back up at Kim, and Kim stopped smiling because of Chay’s serious face.
“I don’t want to lie and pretend that I have ever hated you during the past weeks. I was angry and heartbroken. But I think I will regret it if I don’t give you another chance. Everyone deserves a second chance. But don’t waste it, Kimhan.”
And in all seriousness too, Kim nodded. He felt so much relieved. Chay was implying that he would have to make efforts to compensate for the heartbreak he caused, but he was not asking him to explain all his feelings, the why’s and the because’s, right now. As Kim knew, Chay was smart. He had understood that asking too much to Kim would be useless. Maybe he had understood that even before learning the truth, or maybe living in the compound and seeing where Kim grew up helped him to be more understanding. It did not matter much for now.
But there was a thing he could actually add, to prove that he was sincere right now. “I’m sorry.” He sighed and then added, “I’m not sorry that I approached you for the reasons I did. But I soon started to spend time with you later only because I like it, without any secret agenda, and I’m really sorry to have hurt you. Nothing can justify the asshole I’ve been that day.”
Chay nodded. It was a really great start for a second chance in his opinion. He smiled, and Kim could not prevent his lips from curving upwards too.
“What about I take you out to eat something?” Kim finally asked.
It was a bit late, but he was hungry because of the energy he used for the show, and it was the same for Chay.
Chay acted as if he was evaluating the proposition “Mh… ok. I let you lead the way,” he said with a smile.
Chay got up and waited to follow Kim.
“Don’t you want to go back to your friend first?”
Chay briefly frowned to think and then smiled brightly, “Well, winning these VIP passes was a one-time occasion. Ohm and I may regret it if I just leave like that.”
Kim was not stupid and Chay was not trying to manipulate Kim, what he wanted was pretty obvious. Kim momentarily narrowed his eyes – they were not properly together yet, and Kim was already ready to give Chay whatever he wanted. Eventually, he decided that he did not see any problem with spoiling Chay.
“Hold on, I have another event in three weeks, let me text my manager.” And he did so.
Chay chuckled. Though he knew Kim would gladly accept his request, he did not think it would be that quick. So he took out his phone too, texting Ohm. He knew that Ohm would not be annoyed at Chay if he promised him new VIP passes, and even less if he told him that he left because Wik wanted to take him on a date – as long as Chay told him details later.
“Ok then, let’s go.” Chay smiled, and followed Kim.
Kim smiled back, and swore to himself that he would do all he would do his best to make Chay beam like that the most possible.