Work Text:
Tony thought he would’ve been better prepared to make a dick joke at the sight of a 4ft fence pole sticking out of his abdomen. Unfortunately, Steve kept prodding the tender skin around the red and bleeding wound and Tony’s concentration kept being interrupted by the stabbing bolts of pain. God knew there were a LOT of problems Steve’s fingers could solve but Tony didn’t think this was one of them.
“Steve,” Tony groaned, “I know you received like two hours of medic training back in 1917 but that really isn’t enough. You’re going to have to pull it out.”
Steve frowned. “I’m pretty sure that’s the one thing we were taught *not* to do.”
“This broke off from an office building built in the 1960s when both the drinking age and heavy metal limits in building codes were much lower. You need to pull it out. The lead poisoning’s killing me.” He smiles crookedly. “Again.”
Steve snorts, rubbing his jaw in disbelief, and it leaves rust colored stains in his stubble. His hair is filthy with dust from the mountains of rubble and half-collapsed buildings around them, his suit streaked with sweat and dried alien blood. Tony can’t help but like him a little better for it. America’s hero, imperfect, unpolished. “How do you even know that?”
Tony decides shrugging isn’t worth it. “I had JARVIS scan the metal composites as we were falling.”
Steve gestures to Tony’s gaping injury. “You didn’t think to call me? You just thought a tin can pinwheeling through the sky was enough warning?”
Tony scoffs. “Oh I’m sorry I inconvenienced you I was a little preoccupied with my hurtling DESCENT towards EARTH.”
Steve crosses his arms in a huff. “Protocol exists so you don’t do this on your own!”
“Fuck protocol!” Tony shouts, before remembering puncture wounds don’t take kindly to you trying to sit up. His face goes a pallid white and he pants for a few seconds under Steve’s concerned gaze and unsure hands. “I would’ve figured it out.” He stares up at the cloudless blue sky, half bisected by crumbling concrete beams. “Just pull it out.”
Steve nods, leaning over to firmly grasp the bottom of the rod protruding from Tony’s abdomen, but Tony bucks his hips wildly, the whites of his eyes visible, and the human missing. “Stop!” he gasps, his breath ragged. He digs his nails into Steve’s hands, guiding them to his hips. “You’re going to have to pin me down.”
Steve nods, maneuvering his legs so they’re bracketing Tony’s torso. Tony grins weakly. “Buckle up, cowboy.”
Steve snorts. “On three. One…two…” He thrusts the pole up, up, and out, splintering pain up every nerve Tony was aware of in his lower body, and 5,000 he wasn’t. Amidst the screams grating against his throat, he feels his side becoming slick with something hot and wet. Oh shit. The blood. Steve’s swearing with several words he isn’t allowed, tearing strips off his shirt to help truncate the damage, and Tony groans heavily, dragging his hand closer.
“Steve,” he grumbles. “Move.” And blasts the area with his repulsor ray before Steve can stop him. He isn’t sure exactly what happens after that. His ears are buzzing with a high pitched whine, his heart’s racing at a speed that’s convincing him to retire, and Steve stripping the rest of his costume off, although that last one might’ve been an overly hopeful hallucination. He cracks open one eye to check. Yep. Damn.
But Steve’s staring at his wound in amazement so Tony takes a peek too. There’s a small neat hole of cauterized flesh through which he can see the floor and the smell’s making him sick, but at least he can hold off dying for another hour or two.
“Fuck.” Steve tilts his head back like he can’t decide whether to laugh or cry. He wipes his eyes with a hoarse breath of relief. “Next time, call me, Tony. Call me. Tell me the plan. Warn me of how you’re going to outwit death once again, because I want to be here when you do it.” He leans down, until Tony can see the flecks of gray in his blue, blue eyes. “Call me, Tony. I’ll always come for you.”
Tony smiles up at Steve woozily, and bundles how sappy that makes him feel in a box where it’s safe. “That’s what she said,” he whispers, and faints.