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Jennifer stood on stage, looking out at the rows upon rows of empty seats. This show was going to be their biggest yet; perhaps the most important. She’d be saying goodbye to the first group of drama students that had truly had her back since the beginning. She was excited to welcome in the next group, of course, but this group of magical kids were always going to hold a special place in her heart. She’d vowed that she wouldn’t get emotional during the semester, she was going to miss them but she couldn’t send them off with tears in her eyes, she had to be strong for them.
She placed a hand on her chest as she let out a sigh, already feeling the familiar stinging in her eyes - she wouldn’t be able to live up to her vow, she knew that deep down. The sound of someone clearing their throat caught her attention however. It would’ve made her jump had she not known already who the sound belonged to and as her gaze landed on the figure, the smile spread across her face.
Her boyfriend, Benjamin Mazzara.
She couldn’t believe it was actually real, that he had stayed at East High and she had the pleasure of being by his side the whole time. They were together. Officially. Never in her wildest dreams did she think she would end up in a relationship with the man she thought hated her from the second she turned up at the school. Turns out hate had been quite the opposite word.
It had been a long drive back home from California, she should’ve stayed the night really; found a hotel somewhere and let her thoughts stew. It had been an emotional night, saying goodbye to Nini, celebrating with her beloved Wildcats and then there was the text she’d received just before she got back to her car. Mike. They hadn’t spoken much since they got back from the cruise, the two of them needing some space after being cooped up together on a ship for a whole week. She made a mental note to not go on vacation with someone that you didn’t know that well and weren’t absolutely and totally in love with.
The trip was…OK - at best. Mike was sweet and gentlemanly and he did everything he possibly could for her; that was something Jennifer simply couldn’t argue against. But he had habits, as did she, that only festered and grew in annoyance as the days drawled on. By the end of the week, she knew that she needed some time to herself (something which had been virtually impossible when she was stuck on a boat in the middle of the ocean - which was another thing she’d hated about the trip) and when EJ had phoned her as she stepped foot on familiar ground again, she couldn’t pass the opportunity up. She was at home when she was with her Wildcats, after all; all of them had the brilliant knack of her taking her mind off things.
She knew Mike wasn’t best pleased about her swanning off but she had to get away. When she came back from her trip, she’d expected to find him on her doorstep, ready to talk and clear the air of whatever had happened between them but he was nowhere to be seen. Not a single text message or phone call. She couldn’t say that she was annoyed about that though, she was almost grateful for the peace.
Jennifer liked Mike but, despite what she’d relayed to Ashlyn about fireworks, she knew that she didn’t feel anything more for him than that. He was still caught up on his ex-wife and she, well, she didn’t want to get into it. Because that would mean acknowledging the voice in the back of her head and admitting to what she actually felt.
So, when she looked down at her phone and her eyes scanned the message from Mike, her heart sank. Not from the fact that she had just been dumped, by text; which would’ve angered her if the circumstances had been different, but from the fact that it dawned on her, all at once, that she’d wasted her time. She’d spent her summer vacation wrapped up in the arms of another man when her heart lay elsewhere. She’d put time and effort into making something work, against her better judgement, because she thought it was the right thing to do. And now, it seemed, it was all for nothing.
She debated taking a different direction on her journey home but she knew it would’ve been pointless, she had no idea where Caltech was for one, and she couldn’t exactly turn up on Benjamin’s doorstep and expect a welcome - she had, after all, broken his heart at the end of last semester. And it was a heart break that could’ve been saved, apparently. Although that would’ve meant Benjamin giving up his dreams for her and that’s what made Jennifer take the road that led her straight back to Utah.
Much of the journey was spent with her wiping away her tears. None of the tears fell for her failed relationship, although she wished that that was the reason because that was far easier to explain than the reality of it all. There wasn’t even anything she could do to fix the ache in her chest, Benjamin was living his dream, he was happy. He had probably found himself a girlfriend and he probably hadn’t given her a second thought. Jennifer wouldn’t even blame him either, he was a free man, he could do as he pleased. And she’d let him go, she had to deal with the consequences.
Spots of rain splattered on her windshield as she turned the corner that meant she was only ten minutes away from home. She didn’t mind the rain though, it was relaxing, peaceful, and her mother always told her that rain must fall to breathe new life; to clear the air and start afresh. Maybe that was why it had chosen to rain then. Droplets fell harder as she carried on down the road, her windshield wipers almost couldn’t keep up with the downpour. It hadn’t rained like that in Salt Lake for years and if Jennifer wasn’t so tired and washed out from the days events, she would’ve taken it as a sign.
As she drove down the street that led to her house, she couldn’t help the way her eyes landed on a scarily familiar looking car parked opposite. She couldn’t place it; couldn’t understand why she recognised it. An idea swirled in the back of her head as to who it could have possibly belonged to - he did own that exact car, after all. But lots of people did, it didn’t mean that it was him. And it would’ve been impossible to have belonged to him because he was in California, nowhere near her.
Jennifer parked her car, regretting her lack of coat as she stepped out into the rain. She was drenched instantly; her once perfectly curled hair now stuck to her face, her makeup, as she could feel, ran down her cheeks and had definitely left behind black streaks. The pink jumpsuit she’d worn clung to her skin as she ran around her car. She didn’t know how it was possible for her to get so soaked in such little time but at least she was only ten steps away from her house and she could get herself under the hot shower.
However, that idea quickly dissolved like water on a sidewalk slab, because there was a figure standing outside her front door - a figure that was now walking towards her. Jennifer’s heart pounded in her chest but not out of fear, she was so far removed from feeling scared; she recognised the figure, she would recognise him anywhere. Suddenly the rain didn’t bother her, she couldn’t even feel it because as the figure stepped into the light, she was glued to the spot in shock.
“Benjamin? What are you- What- What are you doing here?” She was shivering despite the hot summer air (that definitely didn’t match the shower that eagerly fell from the sky). She couldn’t piece together a single thought let alone a sentence. She couldn’t believe that he was standing an arms length away from her, and he was real. He wasn’t just a figment of her imagination.
Benjamin pushed his hands into his pockets, his eyes squinting as the rain decorated his face. “I, uh-” He seemed to be as lost for words as Jennifer was.
She was quick to notice that the rain was soaking the polo shirt he was wearing and as much as she raised her eyebrow in appreciation of what lay beneath, she knew it was pointless them having this conversation in what was quickly, and inevitably, turning into a storm.
“Shall we go in?” She had a million questions to ask and a million things she wanted to say to him - had she known that he’d be on her doorstep as she got back from the very place he was meant to be, she would’ve been more prepared.
He followed after her as she unlocked her front door, her eyes glancing to the suitcase that she was still yet to unpack; she hoped he hadn’t clocked it too, in case he was put off from saying why he was really there. Jennifer shook her head at herself, she was jumping the gun as per usual, Benjamin could have a totally innocent explanation as to why he was outside her house in the middle of the night whilst a thunderstorm brewed above them.
She shivered as she walked into her kitchen, the idea of a hot shower had been inviting but now that wasn’t possible and didn’t exactly spark her interest in the same way it did Benjamin - who was now also standing in her kitchen, raindrops falling from his clothes. She almost chuckled at the sight and she would’ve, had it not been for the pounding in her chest as the realisation dawned on her. Benjamin Mazzara was stood, soaking wet in her kitchen, when he should’ve been miles away in California. Her lips parted, she was lost for words.
He was staring at her and she wondered who was going to bite the bullet first, to take that first step into unknown territory. Technically speaking, he had done it first, all the way back at opening night.
You. Us. Or, the possibility of us.
The words had played like a mantra in her head for months; she couldn’t forget them, no matter how hard she tried. The evenings on the cruise were the worst for her mind wandering to what could’ve been; to the possibility. She’d sit, hand in hand with Mike, as they watched the entertainment - usually a tribute act that could never quite hit the same notes as the original - and all she could think about was what Benjamin might’ve said, what he would’ve thought. He probably would’ve rolled his eyes and pulled her away for a stroll on the deck. But when she thought about it really hard, neither of them would’ve gone on that cruise anyway, he would’ve chosen a destination more suited to them; museums by day and a broadway show by night.
That’s when the reality had really sunk in for Jennifer, when she realised that she had perhaps made the biggest mistake of her life but she stuck with it, as she did with everything else. She’d made her decision, she let him go and she wasn’t going to go back on it in an act of selfishness.
Well, that was until he turned up on her doorstep and Jennifer couldn’t help but hope that for once, things were going her way. And that for once, she was being given a second chance.
“Red or white?” She finally broke the silence, springing into action.
She watched as he shivered, an indication that the two of them should probably change out of their wet clothes. She didn’t exactly have anything to offer him, however, and that would mean a half naked Benjamin Mazzara in her house - a thought that flustered her more than she would like to admit.
“I probably shouldn’t.” As if on cue, a bright light flashed outside which was quickly followed by a loud rumble of thunder, there was no way he was going back out in that. His lips tugged into a smile as he stepped forward. “On second thoughts, I’ll go red.”
“Good choice.” She beamed back at him as she ripped the plastic off the top of the bottle; completely forgetting that she required a corkscrew to actually open it. She turned her back on him, rooting through her draws, thankfully finding one. Although, her only struggle was actually using the damned thing, she never had the strength and was usually why she bought screw tops but evidently, she’d picked up this bottle without thinking.
She looked over at Benjamin, in such a way that could only be described as a deer caught in the headlights but she didn’t have to say anything, he was already heading towards her.
“Let me,” he breathed, taking the corkscrew from her hands. She caught her bottom lip between her teeth; his biceps tensed as he twisted and turned, the cork popping satisfyingly. When he looked down at her, their eyes meeting, she could feel her face burning a bright red; deeper than the wine she was about to pour.
Their fingers brushed as he passed the bottle to her and Jennifer felt the electricity shoot up her arm. How had she missed all the signs before now? She’d worked alongside the man for a whole year and she never once thought it would end with her thinking about him constantly or her, imagining what his lips would feel like pressed against hers. It hadn’t been until that conversation that everything clicked into place - that he had been right in front of her the whole time. But by then it was too late, she’d promised a date with Mike and Benjamin had to chase his dreams.
But perhaps, as the saying went, better late than never.
“I should probably change out of these wet clothes,” she spoke as she poured the drinks, taking a sneaky glance at Benjamin who remained stood next to her. He looked down at himself, his own clothes still damp. “I could see if there’s anything that would fit you?”
He shook his head. “I’ll live.”
She raised her eyebrow, a move that she preferred to keep to the classroom but she felt it was definitely warranted in that situation. She took a sip of her wine, the crimson liquid trickling down her throat, she needed that. “Give me five minutes.” And then she was gone, disappearing up the stairs.
She rummaged through her drawers, pulling out her most comfiest clothes and she very quickly changed into them, not wanting to leave him alone downstairs for too long - or, she didn’t want to be without him for too long - but she stored that thought for later. Her eyes did, however, settle on the pink fluffy dressing gown that hung on the back of her door. Perfect.
“I found this,” she announced as she came down the stairs. Benjamin was stood in the living room, his eyes casting over the pictures that sat on her mantle before stopping at the suitcase that remained, unpacked, in the middle of the room. She stopped, swallowed and the panic set in.
“Been somewhere nice?” He asked.
Jennifer looked down at the floor, her heart fluttering in her chest. She didn’t want to mess everything up so soon and especially not when she had just been given this chance on a plate.
“Just a cruise.”
“Oh? I thought you didn’t like open water?”
She scoffed, of course he remembered that. “I don’t.”
He edged towards her. “Let me guess, Mike booked it as a surprise?” He plucked the pink material from her hands and inspected it closely, a chuckle escaping his lips. “I suppose this will do.”
He didn’t move away from her as he lifted his shirt over his head. Jennifer couldn’t stop the way her eyes roamed over his chest; over the perfectly formed muscles. It took all her strength not to trace every one with the tip of her index finger. Her cheeks blushed a light pink as she remembered that he had actually asked her a question and it had become very obvious that she’d been distracted.
She closed her eyes, hoping that the action would steel herself. It seemed to do the trick as she opened them open and kept her focus on his face, not daring to let her gaze dip any lower. “He thought it would’ve been nice for the two of us to get away from everything. Didn’t get round to telling him that a cruise was my worst nightmare. Although, I think he found that out on the first night when I couldn’t step away from the bathroom.”
She watched as Benjamin wrapped the dressing gown round himself, giggling at the fact he could barely get his arms through. She placed a hand on his chest, stilling his movements. His skin burned against hers and she quickly removed her hand.
“I think maybe that was a bad idea.” She tried to stifle the grin that was threatening to spread across her face. “You could always just, you know…” She couldn’t finish her sentence, finding herself lost for words and half worrying about the implications of where they could lead to. It only seemed to make him smirk, however.
“Just what, Miss Jenn?”
Her throat was bone dry. She’d been taken aback when he had first called her Jennifer, she could remember the day like it was yesterday but there was something spine tingling about him calling her Miss Jenn whilst stood half naked in her living room with a smile that went from ear to ear. She had lost her resolve very quickly and she knew that there was no going back from it.
“I almost forgot my wine.” She smiled, stepping away from him, glad to have put the, albeit small, distance between them; it made everything less tempting. She walked back to the kitchen, picking up the glass that still stood on the counter and brought it to her lips. She could feel her whole body shaking as Benjamin followed behind her, leaning on the counter only two steps away from her. When she lowered the glass she spoke again. “You never told me why you’re really here?”
He scoffed. “Well, I could stick with the story I had planned in my head about visiting my mother and then coming to see you whilst I was in the area but,” he stepped towards her, “we both know that wouldn’t be true.”
Jennifer nodded slowly, gulping as her eyes darted across his face.
“So, you and Mike? Is it serious?” She should’ve known that that would be his next question, had the shoe been on the other foot, she would’ve asked it as well.
She took another sip of her wine, needing a moment to look away from the man that was causing her heart to beat erratically. “He ended it,” she paused, glancing up at him, “today.”
Benjamin’s shoulders dropped, his face softening in the process; seemingly, the confidence he’d had, quickly disappeared. “I’m, uh, I’m sorry to hear that.”
Jennifer waved her hand in front of her. “Don’t be, it should’ve happened weeks ago. How’s Caltech?” She had to change the conversation before she admitted that she’d been close to ending things herself and then he would’ve asked why and, despite the predicament they found themselves in, she wasn’t quite ready to give a voice to her thoughts.
“It’s good, yeah.” Jennifer squinted her eyes at that, not quite believing his words. She hadn’t always been able to read Benjamin properly but she had always known when he was lying. “I quit.” And there it was.
“What?” she proclaimed, almost feeling like she had to take a step back and hold a hand to her chest dramatically. “But I thought that was your dream?”
“It was.” He looked away from her briefly, his eyes scanning the floor before going back to land on her. “And it had everything I’d ever wanted, the equipment alone was out of this world. But there was just something missing and that something, as I quickly realised, meant more to me than some fancy college ever would.”
“Oh?” She tilted her head, intrigued by his words even though she had a niggling feeling she knew where they were headed.
“I put off leaving for the longest time. Told myself that this something was better off without me, that she was happy and she didn’t need me in her life, bringing everything down.”
It was Jennifer’s turn to scoff, he really had no idea of how much he had been on her mind as well.
He continued. “But even that thought couldn’t overpower how I felt, how I still feel because Jennifer,” he took that final step that closed the gap between them, “I am so in love with you it hurts.”
She didn’t need to say anything, she didn’t even know what she could say. All she knew was that she couldn’t spend a second longer not knowing how his lips felt against hers. So, in one swift movement, she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. She smiled into the kiss as his hands landed on her waist to pull her closer to him. Jennifer felt the goosebumps erupt all over her body, and she could feel, as the tips of her fingers scraped over his bare back, he was in a similar position as well.
Outside, lightning struck brightly and thunder cracked - suddenly fireworks were dull in comparison. She pulled away reluctantly, although her hands never left his; she couldn’t hide her grin any longer and his own face mirrored hers perfectly.
With their foreheads pressed together she spoke. “I love you, too,” she breathed. “But you were wrong,” he lifted his head, face contorted in confusion and it only made Jennifer laugh, “I do need you. Not having you around has been…well…”
“Yeah, me too,” he finished for her, both of them knowing without even having to say it. His lips found hers again and Jennifer could feel every nerve end exploding - she wouldn’t be able to get used to that feeling.
And she didn’t, months later even the mere sight of him made her skin tingle. She walked towards him, the sleeves of the white polo he was wearing fitting snuggly over his biceps - just how she liked it. His lips tugged into a smile as he seen her and she couldn’t stop her own from doing the same.
“Everything ready to go?” he asked.
“Almost.” She stepped forward, her arms snaking around his waist, smiling even harder as his hands naturally landed on her shoulders. She reached up and captured his lips with hers - the shiver still travelled down her spine. “Now everything’s ready.”
She wriggled out of his grip and slowly strolled away from him, knowing that he would be two steps behind her anyway.
“You are going to be the death of me, Miss Jenn.” he called after her.
“You too, Mr Mazzara.” Was her answer back, as she continued on her journey out of the theatre; the smirk now permanently stuck on her face.
Her boyfriend, Benjamin Mazzara; she’d always liked the sound of that. She shivered at the thought that, one day, it may be her husband, Benjamin Mazzara.